19. assertion and negotiation tool to conflict mgmt
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19. assertion and negotiation tool to conflict mgmt

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19. assertion and negotiation tool to conflict mgmt 19. assertion and negotiation tool to conflict mgmt Presentation Transcript

  • Chapter 11 Asserting Yourself
    • Making your desires and feelings known in instances that matter to you is assertive.
    • Failing to speak up in instances that are UNimportant to you is NOT necessarily Unassertive.
    Assertion
  • Passivity, Aggression, Assertion
    • Passive behavior is failing to make your desires known.
    • Passive aggressive behavior is failing to be direct.
    • Hostile aggressive behavior is being directly offensive.
    • Assertion is making your feelings and desires known.
    • The impetus for passive behavior, passive aggressive behavior, and aggressive behavior is fear.
    • Aggressive behavior makes the other want to strike back.
  • Fear Begets Anger
    • Fear is at the root of all anger.
    • Fear creates vulnerability.
    • Fear triggers the fight or flight response.
    • In negotiation, fight or flight is avoid or compete.
  • Anger and Your Negotiation Effectiveness
    • Anger creates physiological changes.
    • Blood pressure may rise.
    • Cognitive functioning diminishes.
    • You are not in control of yourself when angry.
    • Distress sets in.
    • Incompetence sets in.
  • Control Techniques
    • Hold your breath. Count to ten.
    • Check your perceptions.
    • Recognize your anger.
    • Do not panic.
    • Think of something that makes you smile.
    • Assess your options and act appropriately.
  • Anger Management Tools
    • Identify things that repeatedly make you angry.
    • Identify your fears.
    • Assess whether the fears are real or imagined.
    • Get rid of imagined fears!
    • Identify your options for real fears.
    • Develop a strategy to conquer.
  • Strategies for Anger Management
    • If you are angry about something you cannot change, change yourself–your perception and understanding.
    • Accept the past. Forgive. Let go.
    • Challenge your thinking.
    • Find other reasons for behaviors – reasons that do not make you angry.
    • Build your internal locus of control.
    • Increase your self-esteem.
    • Increase your assertion skills.
  • Increasing Self-Esteem
    • Load your mind with positive thoughts about yourself.
    • Cancel negative aspirations from yourself and from others.
    • Associate with people who make you feel good.
  • Assertive Behavior Defined
    • Specify the matter at issue.
    • Specify your feelings about the matter.
    • Specify how the matter affects you.
    • Recognize the other’s view.
    • Seek resolution.
  • Building Assertion Skills
    • Speak up.
    • Make statements that contain the five elements: specific matter; specific feelings; specific effects; recognition of others; seeks resolution.
    • Compliment others.
    • Ask others to explain their reasoning.
    • Make eye contact.
    • Use “I” often.