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Theimpact
Theimpact
Theimpact
Theimpact
Theimpact
Theimpact
Theimpact
Theimpact
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Theimpact

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A story of a family torn apart by suicide, and the impact it has on the friends and even enemy's of the young girl.

A story of a family torn apart by suicide, and the impact it has on the friends and even enemy's of the young girl.

Published in: Career, Self Improvement
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  • 1. T h e<br /> I m p a c t<br /> By Robyn Metcalfe<br />Mrs Jefferson knelt tenderly by her daughter’s grave side.<br />‘In loving Memory of Hayley Jane Jefferson, 15 years of age. Taken too soon from the lives she touched so magically, and may she rest in God’s Arms for eternity. Mum, Dad, Nat & the rest will never forget you, and pray the lord may take care of you. May you rest in peace our darling.’<br />Mrs Jefferson didn’t want to admit it, but she didn’t believe in angels and such. Never had she prayed to god. She wished she could find the faith too though, maybe believing her daughter was an angel, always looking down.<br />But deep in her heart, she knew she would never believe in heaven; which she would regret for the rest of her life.<br />Mrs Jefferson lovingly stroked the bouquet of flowers she had so willingly picked. She has hunted the forest where her daughter used to play, picking the freshest, most beautiful wild flowers for the grave. Then, when she arrived home, she tied the finest lace around their stalks, tying it neatly in a bow. <br />She reached out to the shining head stone, stroking it tenderly with her palm. She vowed to visit her daughter every day for as long as she lived, placing a new bunch of flowers each day.<br />Nat, Hayley’s sister was beside her mum, placing her hand on her shoulder to reassure her.<br />“Nat?” <br />“Yes?” The first time her mother had talked for hours, she was relieved to hear her voice. The doctors already said her mother was on the edge, on the verge of being in a mental hospital.<br />“Do you think I was a bad mother? I mean, what if it was me who made her do it?” Nat could hear her mother choke on her words, like they physically hurt to say.<br />Nat fidgeted.<br />“Of course not. You did ev-<br />“I mean, I never grew up with parents. I just wanted the chance to be there for someone else, because no one was ever there for me,” Mrs Jefferson wept on her knees, her head in her hands. <br />Nat bent down biting her lips, her arms cradling her bedraggled mother. It had been three weeks since Hayley killed herself. It was hard for it to sick in; they still refused to accept she was gone.<br />Mrs Jefferson sniffed, wiping away the tears from her aching eyes. Pull yourself together she thought. She carefully picked up the bouquet of flowers she had bought, and placed them exactly by her daughter’s stone.<br />The grave was filled with flowers. It was sad, Nat thought, because the affection she was given was only showed so purely when she was dead. Too late now, though. <br />Mrs Jefferson kissed her fingers, and forced them lovingly on Hayley’s head stone. Without Hayley, her world was incomplete. The pain on loosing a daughter was utterly brutal, and indescribable to anything else she had ever felt. <br />Breathing out heavily, Mrs Jefferson stood up. She felt trickles of rain collapsing from the sky, and in a few minutes, it was a huge down pour.<br />The drops bounced harshly of the grave stones, splashing off them with force. Nat held her hands above her head, obviously dying to be away from the rain. Mrs Jefferson, though, just stood in a trance, not bothered about her limp hair sticking to her face. Longing for her daughter. Longing for something she would never get.<br />Nat and her mother reached their vehicle, parked opposite of the entrance to the grave yard’s gate. They clambered in hurriedly, breathing a sigh of relief. <br />“You okay, darling?” Mrs Jefferson asked, adjusting her mirror to see her husband’s face. What was she doing asking him? She knew he couldn’t answer. One day, though, she kept dreaming he would. <br />Mr Jefferson had been brain damaged for around ten years. He was bound to a wheel chair, incapable of speaking, eating or moving at all.<br />His face sat on a slant, never changing expression, or expression any emotion. Nat and Mrs Jefferson were his full time carers, doing everything for him.<br />They’d even had to buy a new vehicle, so his chair would fit in. Not like it mattered or anything, he never knew if he was out...and Mrs Jefferson hated that.<br />But most of all, she hated the way he never remembered his daughter. He never knew she was gone. He never even shed a tear at the funeral. <br />Hayley used to love the days her father was able-bodied. It was like a family back then, always out walking in forests, always playing in rusty old parks.<br />Hayley didn’t mind; until he took ill.<br />She never knew what had happened to him, and maybe it was better that way. But he never looked at her with that same sparkle in his eyes, and never told her he loved her.<br />Nat leaned over the front seat, grapping an embroided handkerchief from her damp pocket. She wiped her father’s mouth, killing the line of saliva escaping from his open mouth.<br />She smiled with satisfaction.<br />“Let’s go home, mum. Dad needs his rest.”<br />The Jefferson’s lived in a medium-sized detached house, fairly modern, lift fitted for Mr Jefferson’s chair.<br />There were several rooms in the house, Hayley’s bedroom un-changed since she...left. Mrs Jefferson would pop in all the time, caressing her daughter’s teddy bears until her hands were raw with the bristling fur. <br />The car’s wheels battled along the gravel drive-way, at last coming to a halt. The rain had stopped lashing violently on the windows, and a ray of light peeped through the grey clouds. Typical.<br />It took a while to get Mrs Jefferson and his chair out of the chair. Mrs Jefferson never used to mind it, always eager to help him out. Recently, though, she just didn’t have the energy. With all the stress in her life she could do without her husband. Stop being so selfish she thought.<br />The chair clattered onto the stones. Nat gripped the handles and manoeuvred him into the door, the wheels getting caught on the frame. <br />The wheel chair was new too. Glimmering new wheels, a seat that moulded to his shape- he was in luxury. It even glided across any other pavement.<br />Home at last. Though it wasn’t a home- not without Hayley. <br />At dinner, the three awkwardly crammed around the table, the sound of pinging cutlery dominating the conversation. Nat had to feed her father tonight; her mother was in a trance. <br />She hadn’t spoken for hours again, one of her mood swings she thought. <br />“I had a good day at Uni, Mum.” Her mum never even blinked, her watery eyes staring straight ahead. Nat sighed.<br />All she wanted was a normal life. All her mates made fun of her still living at her mum’s. If only they knew how hard it was.<br />“I need a moment alone. Upstairs.” Why couldn’t she just stay? She couldn’t even pretend to be happy, grateful for Nat’s help. <br />“Sure...why not.” <br />Mrs Jefferson sat on her daughter’s bed, wiping the tears from her eyes. She still expected Hayley to walk through the door, telling her to leave her stuff alone.<br />But she didn’t.<br />She laid back on the fluffed pillows, taking in their fresh smell. There was still a hint of Hayley on them. Like there was everywhere.<br />The funeral was hard for Mrs Jefferson to go through. Knowing that her daughter would still be deep underground in a few hours was the hardest thought she’s had to bare. <br />The whole family showed up to the service, though there were still several empty seats. It was a blur for Nat and her mother, the Vickers words meaning nothing, just a faint mumbling through their tears.<br />“Its fine mum,” she remembered Nat saying. “She’s at peace now.” No, she wasn’t. She couldn’t be. She couldn’t live a single day knowing her daughter was gone.<br />She still kept the suicide note in her pocket, though it was never really a note. It was a simple:<br /> Goodbye xxx<br />That hurt even more, as if she couldn’t be bothered to say a real, meaningful farewell. <br />The funeral flowed, as the church was filled with the rock music Hayley felt so passionate about. Her mother broke down. She was always telling her to turn that racket off.<br />Now it was soothing. Like Hayley’s voice itself. <br />Mrs Jefferson couldn’t bare the speech. It hurt to speak, her words falling on idle ears. No one could comprehend the pain.<br />“My...” She glared at those wiping their eyes, sniffs’ echoes thudding of the stone walls.<br />“Hayley was a beautiful girl. I kept telling her, but she’d never listen. I just wanted the best for her...” She broke down, pulling the net from her face.<br />“Hayley!” She screamed, falling to her knees. Nat leaped up to comfort her, her mother deciphering the stain-glass windows. <br />“Do you think he’s real?” She chocked on her tears. For Hayley’s sake, Nat wished he was. The family and friends gathered in the church couldn’t bear to see her like that. She was a broken woman. <br />It was windy that day, especially by the grave side. Mr Jefferson just sat there, staring deeply at the country-side ahead. He had no idea.<br />Before they knew it, the coffin was lowered carefully, and it thudded on the damp earth. Mrs Jefferson threw Blue and yellow roses on the lid- the rarest kind. Like her daughter.<br />“I love you,” she muttered, blinking hard. Maybe it was a dream? No, it couldn’t be, the harsh wind was pelting of her, stinging her cheeks. This was the brutal act of reality.<br />The vicar said his prayers, the bible’s pages fluttering in the breeze. Then all that was left was a pile of dirt.<br />Joe Meltan was Mrs Jefferson’s cousin. He looked smart that day, a dashing tie and black suit, with a dazzling shine on his shoes. He placed his hands on her shoulder.<br />“I’m so sorry Susan. I know I don’t know what you’re going through, but if I lost my Claire I couldn’t bare it. I hope she rests in peace.” What did he say that for? That didn’t make her feel better, though she smiled limply.<br />“Thank you.” <br />“See you, Paul.” Mr Jefferson sat still. Not even upset, just confused on where he was, why all these strangers were here. <br />That was then, though, she thought, wrapping herself in Hayley’s duvet. If she could only go to normality. If she could only have her back.<br />

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