Bismillah hir Rahman ir RahimFAMILY BY Robina Ali 7/8/2012 1
O mankind!Be dutiful to your Lord, Who createdyou from a single person, and fromhim He created his wife, and fromthem both He created many menand women and fear Allah throughWhom you demand your mutualrights, and the wombs, surely Allah isAll-Watcher over you. (4:1)
IT IS REMARKABLE HOWGOD WOULD PLACE YOU ONTHIS EARTH WITH A SET OF PEOPLE WHO YOU CALL YOUR ……… FAMILY
Relations with familyIt is an unspoken and general rule that: You love them just because…… We need our family just as we need a roof over our head……… It is vital to maintain it just as we would our house, bodies, or any thing else………. No one else ever be so forgiving and accepting of you, or will even try……...
Muslim family is not just anuclear, onlyhusband, wife, andchildren……… It is extended to include other relatives as well. A Muslim should maintain a close and caring relationship with other relatives. According to prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wasallim) one is required to visit them, spend on them and inquire about them.
The challenges that Muslimparents face in the West areunique. The family is still a strong part of our identity as Muslims in America, but it is under pressure in a society where gender competition seems to be more important than cooperation between genders.
Listen to the best Teacher andGuide for humanity: Prophet Muhammad, Sall-Allahu Alaihi Wasallam elevated the women’ status to the dignity of being equal servants of Allah with men. Yet their status in society was not conditioned upon entering mans world. Their most important task is to take care of the home and children. "Take care of your home for THAT is your Jihad." [Musnad Ahmed].
MOTHERHOODRelationship with your children as a MOTHER
THE ROLE MODELS:Maryam’s motherMaryam (A.S)Hajira (A.S)Mooses (A.S) motherAsia ( Pharaohs wife)
First she vowed: “O my Lord! I have vowed to You what is in my womb to be dedicated for your services, so accept this from me, verily, You are the All-Hearer, The All- Knowing”. (3:35)
The dua of Maryam’s mother: Then when she delivered her [child Maryam (Mary)], she said: “O my Lord! I have delivered a female child,” – and Allah knew better what she delivered, – “And the male is not like the female, and I have named her Maryam (Mary), and I seek refuge with You (Allah) for her and for her offspring from Shaitan (Satan), the outcast.” (3:36)
SubhanAllah Allah accepted it: So her Lord (Allah) accepted her with goodly acceptance. He made her grow in a good manner and put her under the care of Zakariya.(3:37)
(31:17) "O my son! Perform the Salah, enjoin the good, and forbid the evil, and bear with patience whatever befalls you. Verily, these are some of the important commandments.)
- (31:18) "And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allah likes not any arrogant boaster.) (19. "And be moderate in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the braying of the asses.)
MOTHERS TREATMENT OFDAUGHTERS: Assume good intentions of your daughter. Try to excuse temporary thoughtlessness. Hadith advise us to make 70 excuses for the harm others do to us, and then blame ourselves for perhaps misunderstanding.
Remember the big picture Despite the small problems or disagreements, your daughter is basically good. MashaAllah, if you look at the big picture, you will see that your daughter is really admirable. Learn how to discuss with her so that her challenges will not upset you. Search for solutions. Remember to cherish her.
She needs to be able to rely onyou……………………… Muslim women are expected to sacrifice for their daughters two hundred percent. When she is older, society, because of its sexism is going to give your daughter so many difficulties, and even, her husband may sometimes break her heart.
THINGS YOU MUST NEVERSAY TO YOUR DAUGHTER: "If you do that again, Im going to kill you!“ "Im going to break your neck!“ "Why cant you be more like him/her?“ "I told you so. You Should have listened to me.“ "You are perfect!” "Thats the most beautiful artwork Ive ever seen! You are the most beautiful girl in the world!"
"I wish you were never born!" "You make me sick.“ "I heard that you did something bad, so I know you did it. You always cause trouble.“ OR "Oh!, you dont mean that.“ "it could always be worse.“ "Hey, its really no big deal; why are you getting so upset?.
MOST IMPORTANT: Avoid physical punishment of your children. you could lose your children permanently. Please see the May, 1997 issue of The Message for details about how child protective services are taking Muslim children away from their parents for alleged abuse.
DAUGHTERS DUTIES Always remember what your parents, especially your mother, did for you all your life. Recognize the wisdom of age and experience, and even when you disagree, be respectful and humble to her. Use the art of negotiation - Use honey instead of vinegar.
Though we dont like to thinkabout it…………………….. Daughters must be prepared to take care of their mothers………………… OR May be their mother in laws………… For the Holy Prophet said:"Be kind and good to your parents and your children will be kind and good to you."
Make the differenceWHILE YOU ARE LIVINGHERE………………………
Mothers are the silent workers A society without mothers and home- makers will produce at-risk youth. In a way their role is like that of the archers in the battle of Uhud. It looked less important….but was the key to the fate of the entire army…. If women hold on to their front, the entire army will succeed… (Khalid Baig)
What else The Quran says?“Oh you who believe save your selves and your families from a fire whose fuel is Men and Stones” (66:6)
Parenting is full time job, take itserious……. We have to educate ourselves. How can we save them from that fire which we don’t know much about? They should learn to have confidence in Islam (through us). They should learn to be proud of their identity (through us).