Your screen…two windows open…
Let’s Get Started! <ul><li>Please type into the chat box your answer to: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>What got you to show up for...
Sara Ismail-Beigi, Jake Jacobs, and Jonathan Thomas Meenach This material is based on work by Barry Johnson and Polarity M...
Survey Summary – 28 Responses <ul><li>50% Personal Issues / 50% Professional Issues </li></ul><ul><li>68% “My Problem” / 3...
<ul><li>To make real progress on a real issue in your real life -- and learn how to do it again.  </li></ul>Purpose
Outcomes <ul><ul><li>Ideas for how to get &quot;unstuck&quot; and moving forward in a good direction from a situation that...
Assumptions <ul><li>The stories we tell have a lot to do with the lives we live </li></ul><ul><li>If we want to live a dif...
Getting Started Four Boxes on a Sheet of Paper / Screen
My Situation <ul><li>Family gatherings that involve food </li></ul><ul><li>Eating too much at these gatherings </li></ul><...
Your Situation  What’s Not Working
Your Situation  What’s Not Working
Your Situation  What Better Looks Like What Better Looks Like
Your Situation  What Better Looks Like <ul><li>What Better Looks Like </li></ul><ul><li>My enjoying the family gatherings ...
<ul><li>What Better Looks Like </li></ul><ul><li>My enjoying the family gatherings I attend </li></ul><ul><li>Eating a “re...
Your Situation  What’s Working
Your Situation  What’s Working
Your Situation  Concerns You Have About the Future Concerns About the Future
Your Situation  Concerns You Have About the Future <ul><li>Concerns About the Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t b...
The Story We Tend Not To Tell <ul><li>Concerns About the Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </li></ul><ul...
Today’s Story
Tomorrow’s Story <ul><li>What Better Looks Like </li></ul><ul><li>My enjoying the family gatherings I attend </li></ul><ul...
The Whole Story <ul><li>Concerns About the Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </li></ul><ul><li>All famil...
The Story We Want To Tell Your Preferred Future is a Combination of the Best of Your Past and Present and a Compelling Pic...
Telling the Story We Want To Live Concerns About The Future What actions can I take to begin creating what better looks li...
Telling the Story We Want To Live Concerns About The Future What actions can I take to begin creating what better looks li...
Telling the Story We Want To Live Concerns About The Future What actions can I take to gain and maintain what’s already wo...
Telling the Story We Want To Live Concerns About The Future What actions can I take to gain and maintain what’s already wo...
The Story We Want to Learn From <ul><li>Concerns About The Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </li></ul><...
Telling the Story We Want To Learn From Concerns About The Future Early warnings you’re starting to experience things not ...
Telling the Story We Want To Learn From Concerns About The Future Early warnings you’re starting to experience things not ...
Telling the Story We Want To Learn From <ul><li>Concerns About The Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </l...
Telling the Story We Want To Learn From <ul><li>Concerns About The Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </l...
My Story <ul><li>Concerns About The Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </li></ul><ul><li>All family gathe...
My Story Making it better, faster and easier <ul><li>How can this be better, faster and easier for me and others </li></ul...
My Story Making it better, faster and easier <ul><li>How can this be better, faster and easier for me and others </li></ul...
Telling The Story I’m Going to Live <ul><ul><li>What role are you now playing in your story (doing, saying, how are you fe...
Telling The Story I’m Going to Live <ul><ul><li>What role are you now playing in your story (doing, saying, how are you fe...
www.windsofchangegroup.comwww.polaritymanagement.com
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Better, Faster, Easier

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  • Jonathan/welcome – intro Jake and Sara
  • Sara: What we learned
  • Jonathan/Review purpose; how we got to it through DOPPE (mention concept but not specific model)
  • Joanathan/Why these outcomes?
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  • Better, Faster, Easier

    1. 1. Your screen…two windows open…
    2. 2. Let’s Get Started! <ul><li>Please type into the chat box your answer to: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>What got you to show up for this session, given everything else you could be doing between 7:00– 8:30 pm ET tonight? </li></ul></ul>
    3. 3. Sara Ismail-Beigi, Jake Jacobs, and Jonathan Thomas Meenach This material is based on work by Barry Johnson and Polarity Management Associates and Jake Jacobs and Winds of Change Group A Better, Faster and Easier Way To Get Through Your Day: Large Scale Change Tools and Your Life April 14, 2010
    4. 4. Survey Summary – 28 Responses <ul><li>50% Personal Issues / 50% Professional Issues </li></ul><ul><li>68% “My Problem” / 32% “Others Causing Me Problems” </li></ul><ul><li>18% Positive Language / 82% Negative Language </li></ul><ul><li>Themes </li></ul><ul><li>Not able to make decisions or influence the change I want </li></ul><ul><li>Know what I want but can’t do it </li></ul><ul><li>Not willing to make sacrifice or tough decisions to get it done </li></ul><ul><li>Know what to do but doing something different </li></ul><ul><li>I’ll fix it later…. </li></ul>
    5. 5. <ul><li>To make real progress on a real issue in your real life -- and learn how to do it again. </li></ul>Purpose
    6. 6. Outcomes <ul><ul><li>Ideas for how to get &quot;unstuck&quot; and moving forward in a good direction from a situation that's been frustrating you in your life or work </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Be confident that you will get better, faster and easier results in this same situation </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Have a set of specific tools that will help you get &quot;unstuck&quot; from similar situations in the future </li></ul></ul>
    7. 7. Assumptions <ul><li>The stories we tell have a lot to do with the lives we live </li></ul><ul><li>If we want to live a different life, we need to tell a different story </li></ul>
    8. 8. Getting Started Four Boxes on a Sheet of Paper / Screen
    9. 9. My Situation <ul><li>Family gatherings that involve food </li></ul><ul><li>Eating too much at these gatherings </li></ul><ul><li>“ You look fine”/pants are tight syndrome </li></ul>
    10. 10. Your Situation What’s Not Working
    11. 11. Your Situation What’s Not Working
    12. 12. Your Situation What Better Looks Like What Better Looks Like
    13. 13. Your Situation What Better Looks Like <ul><li>What Better Looks Like </li></ul><ul><li>My enjoying the family gatherings I attend </li></ul><ul><li>Eating a “reasonable” amount of whatever is served </li></ul><ul><li>Feeling good about myself and my choices “after the fact” </li></ul>
    14. 14. <ul><li>What Better Looks Like </li></ul><ul><li>My enjoying the family gatherings I attend </li></ul><ul><li>Eating a “reasonable” amount of whatever is served </li></ul><ul><li>Feeling good about myself and my choices “after the fact” </li></ul>The Story We Tend to Tell
    15. 15. Your Situation What’s Working
    16. 16. Your Situation What’s Working
    17. 17. Your Situation Concerns You Have About the Future Concerns About the Future
    18. 18. Your Situation Concerns You Have About the Future <ul><li>Concerns About the Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </li></ul><ul><li>All family gatherings become dominated by my eating habits </li></ul><ul><li>This is going to be really hard; I’ve never been successful in trying this in the past </li></ul>
    19. 19. The Story We Tend Not To Tell <ul><li>Concerns About the Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </li></ul><ul><li>All family gatherings become dominated by my eating habits </li></ul><ul><li>This is going to be really hard; I’ve never been successful in trying this in the past </li></ul>
    20. 20. Today’s Story
    21. 21. Tomorrow’s Story <ul><li>What Better Looks Like </li></ul><ul><li>My enjoying the family gatherings I attend </li></ul><ul><li>Eating a “reasonable” amount of whatever is served </li></ul><ul><li>Feeling good about myself and my choices “after the fact” </li></ul>Concerns About the Future <ul><li>Concerns About The Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </li></ul><ul><li>All family gatherings become dominated by my eating habits </li></ul><ul><li>This is going to be really hard; I’ve never been successful in trying this in the past </li></ul>
    22. 22. The Whole Story <ul><li>Concerns About the Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </li></ul><ul><li>All family gatherings become dominated by my eating habits </li></ul><ul><li>This is going to be really hard; I’ve never been successful in trying this in the past </li></ul>
    23. 23. The Story We Want To Tell Your Preferred Future is a Combination of the Best of Your Past and Present and a Compelling Picture of Possibilities of Your Future
    24. 24. Telling the Story We Want To Live Concerns About The Future What actions can I take to begin creating what better looks like? 3 Specific Actions (What, By When) Change happens faster when you think and act as if the future were now as you plan for your future What actions can I take to gain and maintain what’s already working? 3 Specific Actions (What, By When)
    25. 25. Telling the Story We Want To Live Concerns About The Future What actions can I take to begin creating what better looks like? 3 Specific Actions (What, By When) Change happens faster when you think and act as if the future were now as you plan for your future <ul><li>What actions can I take to gain and maintain what’s already working? </li></ul><ul><li>3 Specific Actions </li></ul><ul><li>(What, By When) </li></ul><ul><li>Make sure I get invites to all family gatherings – check for June Family Reunion by 4/30 </li></ul><ul><li>Bring the camera – want to make sure we have pictures of the great memories – put camera in briefcase by 4/15 </li></ul><ul><li>Call Joe by 4/15 to get advice </li></ul>
    26. 26. Telling the Story We Want To Live Concerns About The Future What actions can I take to gain and maintain what’s already working? 3 Specific Actions (What, By When) Change happens faster when you think and act as if the future were now as you plan for your future What actions can I take to begin creating what better looks like? 3 Specific Actions (What, By When)
    27. 27. Telling the Story We Want To Live Concerns About The Future What actions can I take to gain and maintain what’s already working? 3 Specific Actions (What, By When) Change happens faster when you think and act as if the future were now as you plan for your future <ul><li>What actions can I take to begin creating what better looks like? </li></ul><ul><li>3 Specific Actions </li></ul><ul><li>(What, By When) </li></ul><ul><li>Drink one bottle of water on my way in the car before each gathering </li></ul><ul><li>Line Cher up to poke me in the ribs if I’m mindlessly eating the chicken wings </li></ul><ul><li>Experiment with pushing 1/3 of my plate of food off to the side </li></ul>
    28. 28. The Story We Want to Learn From <ul><li>Concerns About The Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </li></ul><ul><li>All family gatherings become dominated by my eating habits </li></ul><ul><li>This is going to be really hard; I’ve never been successful in trying this in the past </li></ul>
    29. 29. Telling the Story We Want To Learn From Concerns About The Future Early warnings you’re starting to experience things not working Problems are always easier to prevent ahead of time instead of finding and fixing after they have happened Early warnings you’re starting to experience things not working
    30. 30. Telling the Story We Want To Learn From Concerns About The Future Early warnings you’re starting to experience things not working Problems are always easier to prevent ahead of time instead of finding and fixing after they have happened <ul><li>Early warnings you’re starting to experience things not working </li></ul><ul><li>Getting to the parties without having talked to the host/hostess ahead of time </li></ul><ul><li>Feeling bad about being the only one not getting seconds </li></ul><ul><li>Cher giving me “the look” after poking me several times </li></ul>
    31. 31. Telling the Story We Want To Learn From <ul><li>Concerns About The Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </li></ul><ul><li>All family gatherings become dominated by my eating habits </li></ul><ul><li>This is going to be really hard; I’ve never been successful in trying this in the past </li></ul>Problems are always easier to prevent ahead of time instead of finding and fixing after they have happened Early warnings you’re starting to experience things not working
    32. 32. Telling the Story We Want To Learn From <ul><li>Concerns About The Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </li></ul><ul><li>All family gatherings become dominated by my eating habits </li></ul><ul><li>This is going to be really hard; I’ve never been successful in trying this in the past </li></ul>Problems are always easier to prevent ahead of time instead of finding and fixing after they have happened <ul><li>Early warnings you’re starting to experience things not working </li></ul><ul><li>Feeling depressed as the next family gathering approaches </li></ul><ul><li>The “noise” starting with my Mom and Aunt Millie before I even show up for the party </li></ul>
    33. 33. My Story <ul><li>Concerns About The Future </li></ul><ul><li>Aunt Millie won’t be happy </li></ul><ul><li>All family gatherings become dominated by my eating habits </li></ul><ul><li>This is going to be really hard; I’ve never been successful in trying this in the past </li></ul><ul><li>Early warnings you’re starting to experience things not working </li></ul><ul><li>Feeling depressed as the next family gathering approaches </li></ul><ul><li>The “noise” starting with my Mom and Aunt Millie before I even show up for the party </li></ul><ul><li>Early warnings you’re starting to experience things not working </li></ul><ul><li>Getting to the parties without having talked to the host/hostess ahead of time </li></ul><ul><li>Feeling bad about being the only one not getting seconds </li></ul><ul><li>Cher giving me “the look” after poking me several times </li></ul><ul><li>What actions can I take to begin creating what better looks like? </li></ul><ul><li>3 Specific Actions </li></ul><ul><li>(What, By When) </li></ul><ul><li>Drink one bottle of water on my way in the car before each gathering </li></ul><ul><li>Line Cher up to poke me in the ribs if I’m mindlessly eating the chicken wings </li></ul><ul><li>Experiment with pushing 1/3 of my plate of food off to the side </li></ul><ul><li>What actions can I take to gain and maintain what’s already working? </li></ul><ul><li>3 Specific Actions </li></ul><ul><li>(What, By When) </li></ul><ul><li>Make sure I get invites to all family gatherings – check for June Family Reunion by 4/30 </li></ul><ul><li>Bring the camera – want to make sure we have pictures of the great memories – put camera in briefcase by 4/15 </li></ul><ul><li>Call Joe by 4/15 to get advice </li></ul>
    34. 34. My Story Making it better, faster and easier <ul><li>How can this be better, faster and easier for me and others </li></ul><ul><ul><li>What skills, knowledge and experience do I already have that will help me in this situation? </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Who else can help and how </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>How might I break this up into smaller pieces? </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>How might I celebrate small successes and with whom </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>If I were to actually have fun in this situation, how might I do that? </li></ul></ul>
    35. 35. My Story Making it better, faster and easier <ul><li>How can this be better, faster and easier for me and others </li></ul><ul><ul><li>What skills, knowledge and experience do I already have that will help me in this situation? </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>I am good at sticking to plans once I make them. I know some of this is “old stuff” that I don’t have to buy into anymore </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Who else can help and how </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Cher can do “the poke.” Aunt Millie and Mom can help instead of try and lay guilt on me! </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>How might I break this up into smaller pieces? </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Pre, during and after gatherings; First conversation with Aunt Millie </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>How might I celebrate small successes and with whom </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Chocolate cake! J/K. Share Aunt Millie talk with Mom. Keep Cher in the loop. Dr. Block at physical in June </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>If I were to actually have fun in this situation, how might I do that? </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Hmmmm…..get together with Joe and tell stories of “Honey, you don’t like my family secret honey dipped, deep fried chicken wings?” </li></ul></ul></ul>
    36. 36. Telling The Story I’m Going to Live <ul><ul><li>What role are you now playing in your story (doing, saying, how are you feeling, etc) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Who else is in your story? (what are they doing, hear them saying, how are they feeling) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>What results are you achieving (some you may already have been achieving and new ones that will enable you to succeed in your situation) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Giving advice to a friend or colleague facing this same situation in the future, what three keys would you pass on to them that have helped you succeed? </li></ul></ul>
    37. 37. Telling The Story I’m Going to Live <ul><ul><li>What role are you now playing in your story (doing, saying, how are you feeling, etc) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>I am the star of my own show. By the time the party has rolled around I’ve got gotten all my prep done so it’s easy </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Who else is in your story? (what are they doing, hear them saying, how are they feeling) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Joe and Cher are supporting. Mom and Aunt Millie are “doing no harm” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>What results are you achieving (some you may already have been achieving and new ones that will enable you to succeed in your situation) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Not feeling sick to my stomach at the end of the parties (at least not because of the food!) Able to “Just Say No” which means I can say yes consciously </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Giving advice to a friend or colleague facing this same situation in the future, what three keys would you pass on to them that have helped you succeed? </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Plan ahead – set yourself up for success </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Don’t do it alone – get help from those “on your side.” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Confront the tough stuff before it becomes more difficult in the moment </li></ul></ul></ul>
    38. 38. www.windsofchangegroup.comwww.polaritymanagement.com
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