Other Correlates: Anger, Depression, Anxiety, & Satisfaction
Are some people more forgiving than others?
State vs. Trait
State vs. Trait How we get to Forgiveness
State vs. Trait Our disposition to forgive across all situations
Heartland Forgiveness Scale 3 Domains of Forgiveness Self Others Situation Predicts about 22-44% of the variance
Stages To Forgiveness
Three areas of Forgiveness Cognitive Emotional Behavioral
Stage 1 – Impact of the Event
Stage 1 Cognitive – Our relationship is out of balance Emotional – Overwhelmed Behavioral – I want my partner to pay
Stage 2 Meaning Construction
Stage 2 Cognitive – Why did he do this to me? Emotional – I am in touch with my emotions Behavioral – I begin to collect information on the transgression
Stage 3 - Moving On
Stage 3 Cognitive – I can see beyond the transgression Emotional – I am no longer angry Behavioral – I know where the relationship is going
Four Factors to Predict Forgiveness Personality Characteristics of the relationship Characteristics of the transgression Socio-cognitive determinates of forgiveness
Features of the transgression
What are your Unforgivable Transgressions?
How should we apologize?
How would you want to find out about the transgression?
Disclosing the Transgression Unsolicited 3rd Party (friend told you) Red-Handed (caught him in the act) Interrogation (grill him till he confesses) Unsolicited Confession (he tells you) The Best Predictor of Forgiveness Yet… 43% reported that the discovery led to the termination of the relationship (higher for the opther three (Afifi, Falato, & Weiner, 2001)
Negative Responsibility Attributions Social-Cognitive Model - Relational Quality - Forgiveness + + Empathy for Transgressor (Fincham et al., 2002)
The Dark Side of Forgiveness Why might the act of forgiving be detrimental to a relationship?
The Dark Side of Forgiveness Apology = humiliation Forgiveness = weakness
Next Class Chapter 15 Final Exam May 5 12:30 Pick up a Blue Book from the book store Open Notes, not Open Book Essay style. For preparation: Know three or four theories that we have discussed in class really well. Organize your class notes. You can also refer to the slides and lectures posted. Think application!