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Ipc lesson plan 19   forgiveness
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Ipc lesson plan 19 forgiveness

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  • 1. Communicating Forgiveness
  • 2. What does it mean to forgive?
  • 3. Is forgiveness an emotion or a behavior?
    Both:
    Behavior = “I forgive you”
    Emotion = Moving from anger to acceptance
  • 4. Why should we forgive?
  • 5. Correlates of Forgiveness
    Cognitive Complexity (+)
    Positive Affect (+)
    Rumination (-)
    Vengeance (-)
    Hostility
  • 6. Other Correlates:
    Anger, Depression, Anxiety, & Satisfaction
  • 7. Are some people more forgiving than others?
  • 8. State vs. Trait
  • 9. State vs. Trait
    How we get to Forgiveness
  • 10. State vs. Trait
    Our disposition to forgive across all situations
  • 11. Heartland Forgiveness Scale
    3 Domains of Forgiveness
    Self
    Others
    Situation
    Predicts about 22-44% of the variance
  • 12. Stages To Forgiveness
  • 13. Three areas of Forgiveness
    Cognitive
    Emotional
    Behavioral
  • 14. Stage 1 – Impact of the Event
  • 15. Stage 1
    Cognitive – Our relationship is out of balance
    Emotional – Overwhelmed
    Behavioral – I want my partner to pay
  • 16. Stage 2 Meaning Construction
  • 17. Stage 2
    Cognitive – Why did he do this to me?
    Emotional – I am in touch with my emotions
    Behavioral – I begin to collect information on the transgression
  • 18. Stage 3 - Moving On
  • 19. Stage 3
    Cognitive – I can see beyond the transgression
    Emotional – I am no longer angry
    Behavioral – I know where the relationship is going
  • 20. Four Factors to Predict Forgiveness
    Personality
    Characteristics of the relationship
    Characteristics of the transgression
    Socio-cognitive determinates of forgiveness
  • 21. Features of the transgression
  • 22. What are your Unforgivable Transgressions?
  • 23. How should we apologize?
  • 24. How would you want to find out about the transgression?
  • 25. Disclosing the Transgression
    Unsolicited 3rd Party (friend told you)
    Red-Handed (caught him in the act)
    Interrogation (grill him till he confesses)
    Unsolicited Confession (he tells you)
    The Best Predictor of Forgiveness
    Yet…
    43% reported that the discovery led to the termination of the relationship (higher for the opther three
    (Afifi, Falato, & Weiner, 2001)
  • 26. Negative Responsibility Attributions
    Social-Cognitive
    Model
    -
    Relational Quality
    -
    Forgiveness
    +
    +
    Empathy for Transgressor
    (Fincham et al., 2002)
  • 27. The Dark Side of Forgiveness
    Why might the act of forgiving be detrimental to a relationship?
  • 28. The Dark Side of Forgiveness
    Apology = humiliation
    Forgiveness = weakness
  • 29. Next Class
    Chapter 15
    Final Exam
    May 5  12:30
    Pick up a Blue Book from the book store
    Open Notes, not Open Book
    Essay style.
    For preparation:
    Know three or four theories that we have discussed in class really well.
    Organize your class notes. You can also refer to the slides and lectures posted.
    Think application!

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