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Ipc lesson plan 19   forgiveness
 

Ipc lesson plan 19 forgiveness

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    Ipc lesson plan 19   forgiveness Ipc lesson plan 19 forgiveness Presentation Transcript

    • Communicating Forgiveness
    • What does it mean to forgive?
    • Is forgiveness an emotion or a behavior?
      Both:
      Behavior = “I forgive you”
      Emotion = Moving from anger to acceptance
    • Why should we forgive?
    • Correlates of Forgiveness
      Cognitive Complexity (+)
      Positive Affect (+)
      Rumination (-)
      Vengeance (-)
      Hostility
    • Other Correlates:
      Anger, Depression, Anxiety, & Satisfaction
    • Are some people more forgiving than others?
    • State vs. Trait
    • State vs. Trait
      How we get to Forgiveness
    • State vs. Trait
      Our disposition to forgive across all situations
    • Heartland Forgiveness Scale
      3 Domains of Forgiveness
      Self
      Others
      Situation
      Predicts about 22-44% of the variance
    • Stages To Forgiveness
    • Three areas of Forgiveness
      Cognitive
      Emotional
      Behavioral
    • Stage 1 – Impact of the Event
    • Stage 1
      Cognitive – Our relationship is out of balance
      Emotional – Overwhelmed
      Behavioral – I want my partner to pay
    • Stage 2 Meaning Construction
    • Stage 2
      Cognitive – Why did he do this to me?
      Emotional – I am in touch with my emotions
      Behavioral – I begin to collect information on the transgression
    • Stage 3 - Moving On
    • Stage 3
      Cognitive – I can see beyond the transgression
      Emotional – I am no longer angry
      Behavioral – I know where the relationship is going
    • Four Factors to Predict Forgiveness
      Personality
      Characteristics of the relationship
      Characteristics of the transgression
      Socio-cognitive determinates of forgiveness
    • Features of the transgression
    • What are your Unforgivable Transgressions?
    • How should we apologize?
    • How would you want to find out about the transgression?
    • Disclosing the Transgression
      Unsolicited 3rd Party (friend told you)
      Red-Handed (caught him in the act)
      Interrogation (grill him till he confesses)
      Unsolicited Confession (he tells you)
      The Best Predictor of Forgiveness
      Yet…
      43% reported that the discovery led to the termination of the relationship (higher for the opther three
      (Afifi, Falato, & Weiner, 2001)
    • Negative Responsibility Attributions
      Social-Cognitive
      Model
      -
      Relational Quality
      -
      Forgiveness
      +
      +
      Empathy for Transgressor
      (Fincham et al., 2002)
    • The Dark Side of Forgiveness
      Why might the act of forgiving be detrimental to a relationship?
    • The Dark Side of Forgiveness
      Apology = humiliation
      Forgiveness = weakness
    • Next Class
      Chapter 15
      Final Exam
      May 5  12:30
      Pick up a Blue Book from the book store
      Open Notes, not Open Book
      Essay style.
      For preparation:
      Know three or four theories that we have discussed in class really well.
      Organize your class notes. You can also refer to the slides and lectures posted.
      Think application!