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CONFLICT RESOLUTION & MANAGEMENT SKILLS Nii Okley Botchway
OUT LINE• What is conflict?• What is marital conflict?• What is the different between conflict resolution & conflict Management?• What are the possible causes marital ?• Prevention/ resolution/management skills• Peace building Nii Okley Botchway
Luke: 17: 1• Conflict is part and parcel of the human the human existence. It is inevitable.• Jesus said it will surely come.• Nii Okley Botchway
What is conflict?• Is the unfortunate coincidence or opposition, a violent collusion, contest or war.• It is a mental or emotional struggle.• It means to fight, contend to clash; to be unfortunately simultaneous Nii Okley Botchway
What is marital conflict?• Is the Collision on incompatible forces within a “life – space”• In marriage setting the relevant “forces” could cover range eg. Inherent in the “gender” factor differences that is masculine/ famine co-existence and implicit psychological, emotional social cultural dimensions.
• Marriage being basically two individuals interacting within the limited confines of the bond holding them together, for the purpose of achieving a mutually accepted GOAL, it become almost inevitable that some points of conflict can rise between the two.
• Most likely sources of marital conflict may include:- Respectable family background• Personal values• - Role perception and• - Personal expectation
• - Behaviors in terms of upbringing of children• - Personal attitudes towards money,• in –laws etc.• Sexual intercourse
• Inordinate pride on part of either partner for example if one to social origins or financial status one feels superior to the other, this pride could develop into a tendency to magnify the perceived faults on the - weaknesses of the other Problem of ambivalence that is latent hostility and the love-hate factor.
NEED FOR RESOLUTION MEASURES• Any conflict is potentially destructive at many different levels and degrees of importance.• The problem becomes even more serious when one partner can gain only at the expense of the other.
• NB: This becomes a sum – zero game in which there must be a loser. This can be very precarious in a marriage because any WIN- LOSE proposition is band to generate conflict.
• Conflict generates perceptional error and biased judgments; and if allowed to reach the boiling point it will be difficult to cool it off therefore.
OVERCOMING CONFLICT• Marriage partners must understand that, combined; they form one superior entity (Eccl. 4:9) for instance, if they have some important task to do together OR to face some common crisis requiring their combined effort.
• If a Win – Lose conflict leaves no room for COMPROMISE or MERGER, then a MERATOR may have to impose a solution ( a family elder, respectable Minister, chief etc)• NB: Role of a MEDIATOR can be truly depending on how he “performs” Either the couple in conflict will see him as practical, fair open – minded, impartial, honest etc
Matt.: 18: 15-17• One to one• Two to one• You & the church to one• Drop the issue, leave it
Eph. 4: 26-27,29, 32• When you sin do not sin• Don’t let the sun go down on your anger• Your words should Gracious (Full of Grace)• Remember you are one• Walking in love, kindness, tender heartedness, forgiveness and so on
Peace buildingIt is much better• To foresee it• To read it off• Not to require either partner to lose face