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  1. 1. Managing Conflict Effectively in the workplace and everywhere else The CDP Approach© Presented by Kristin L. Mann, MBA, CEC LEE THOMAS CONSULTING ASSOCIATES 401.222.9786
  2. 2. Agenda Understand what conflict is The Path of Conflict and resulting outcomes Process to address conflict and practical application – Hot Buttons Exercise
  3. 3. Conflict Any situation in which people have apparently incompatible goals, interests, principles, feelings, concerns or desires
  4. 4. Consequences of ConflictPotential Benefits Potential CostsCreativity, problem solving & productivity Poor quality decisionsTeamwork & improved social Misunderstanding and distrust of self, others andrelationships workplaceListening and perspective taking Decrease in productivityReflective thinking and open Anger, fear, defensiveness, hurt, negativity andcommunication embarrassmentShare information Detriment to building lasting relationshipsSignal change is necessary Reduced open communication and informationMeans for expressing emotions – clear Lessens individual/joint goals and outcomes and clientof air and reduce tension outcomes Instigates aggression and retaliation Derails careers and harms reputations Reduced leadership, management and organizational success
  5. 5. Conflict Approach Conflict is generally inevitable; Most do not like it…see it as negative Most avoid it but it does not go away... It is dynamic and has an energy/life all its own
  6. 6. Path of Conflict Precipitating Event and/or Hot Buttons Initiate Conflict Constructive Responses Destructive Responses Behaviors which keep Behaviors which escalate conflict to a minimum or prolong conflict Task-Focused Conflict Person-Focused Conflict (Cognitive) (Affective) • Focus on task and • Focused on personal problem solving • Negative emotions (anger, • Positive effect frustration) • Tension decreases • Tension increases • Group functioning improves • Group functioning decreases CONFLICT DE-ESCALATES CONFLICT ESCALATES
  7. 7. Precipitating Events When someone says or does something that causes us to believe that their interests, goals, principles or feelings are incompatible with and threatening to our own An attribution of bad or inconsistent motives that almost always leads to arousal of emotions – typically anger or fear
  8. 8. CDP Hot Buttons People or situations which may irritate, annoy or frustrate you enough to provoke conflict by producing destructive responses • Unreliable • Overly analytical • Unappreciative • Aloof • Micro-managing • Self-centered • Abrasive • Untrustworthy • Hostile
  9. 9. Conflict Initiates
  10. 10. Constructive Responses- Activeor Passive Behaviors which research has demonstrated to be highly effective in keeping the harmful effects of conflict to a minimumConstructive responses emphasize: Perspective taking and understanding of differences Creative problem-solving & focus on exchange of ideas Task completion Expression of emotions in a constructive way Not provoking the other person
  11. 11. Destructive Responses – Activeor Passive Behaviors which research has demonstrated to escalate or prolong affective conflictDestructive responses emphasize: Displaying negative emotions Trying to win, no matter what Lack of respect for the other person Avoiding conflict rather than facing it Lack of cooperation and collaboration
  12. 12. Goal of Conflict Management Reduce harmful effects and maximize useful effects of conflict resulting in improved benefits and reduced costs – organizational, departmental and people X
  13. 13. Hot Buttons (HB) Exercise •Complete the Hot Buttons (HB) Exercise - 10 minutes •Pick your top HB - Level 5 or 4 •What is it about this HB that irritates you so strongly? •What are your typical thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations when the HB shows up? •How do you typically react to the HB? 13•Lee Thomas consulting associates, inc.
  14. 14. Constructive Management of HB’s - DOAG Process DISCOVERY – Build HB awareness and identification 1. Identify top HB 2. What causes irritation, upset, trigger 3. Typical thoughts, feelings, reactions OWNERSHIP – Manage emotions/reactions to HB 1. Responsibility for thoughts, feelings and reactions 2. Pause, breathe, drink and clarify ACTION – Resolve HB challenges constructively 1. STEP AWAY AND OBSERVE – Perspective of differences; determine and contemplate alternative explanations for causes, empathize, humor 2. Choose one 1 constructive response 3. Create new and favorable actions vs. reactions GROWTH – manage HB better and be role model©Lee Thomas Consulting Associates, Inc. All rights reserved.
  15. 15. Develop ConflictCompetenceSTEP AWAY and OBSERVE Humility and perspective; my way is not only way Overcome the urge to fight or flight Restraint to pause or delay when tensions high Thoughtfulness to contemplate new possibilities Creativity to ID and consider options Choose appropriate dialogue/actions despite frustration – 1 constructive response Vulnerability to reveal emotions well or offer apology Optimism that solutions can/will be found
  16. 16. CDP Conflict ResponseCategories Constructive Destructive Perspective Taking Winning at All CostsActive Creating Solutions Displaying Anger Expressing Emotions Demeaning Others Reaching Out Retaliating AvoidingPassive Reflective Thinking Yielding Delay Responding Hiding Emotions Adapting Self Criticizing
  17. 17. Lessons In Conflict You are not alone Responses to conflict are learned You control how you feel, think and respond You can affect the direction and intensity of conflict – act early; do not harm Conflict resolution is dynamic
  18. 18. Lessons In Conflict “Conflict is inevitable but, combat is optional.” Max Lucado
  19. 19. Managing Conflict Effectively in the workplace and everywhere else The CDP Approach© QUESTIONS? Presented by Kristin L. Mann, MBA, CEC LEE THOMAS CONSULTING ASSOCIATES 401.222.9786