First Ladies
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First Ladies

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First Ladies

First Ladies

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    First Ladies First Ladies Presentation Transcript

    • Herstory: America’s Most Bangable First Ladies
    • Frances Folsom Cleveland
      • Young stuff – married the 48 year old Cleveland at age 21
      • Wore low-cut dresses
      • Good liar – Helped hide Cleveland’s jaw cancer
      Definitely Bang-able
    • Mamie Eisenhower
      • Seems kinda kooky
      • Nickname was “Puddy”
      • Came from a family of meatpackers
      • Shorty: 5’1”
      • First president's wife known to be kissed openly in public
      Why Not?
    • Sarah Polk
      • Hot like an old timey Winona Ryder
      • Tall, black hair, brown eyes, sallow coloring: "Sahara Sarah”
      • Banned hard liquor and dancing
      Not Bang-able
    • Grace Coolidge
      • Pet raccoon. ‘Nuff said.
      • Baseball fan
      • Keep it Cool with Coolidge
      Crazy Bang-able
    • Abigail Adams
      • Looks remarkably similar to actress Laura Linney
      • Nominated for three Academy Awards and two Emmys
      • In 2007, at age 264 she was reportedly engaged to Telluride real estate mogul, Mark Schauer
      Bang-able
    • Pat Nixon
      • First First Lady to earn a graduate degree
      • Skipped the second grade
      • Travelled the world for many good causes
      • Married Dick Nixon
      Completely Un-Bang-able
    • Nellie Taft
      • Didn’t mind a fattie
      • Smoker, heavy drinker, gambler
      • Had a taste for some of the more scandalous "sex plays" of the 1920s
      24-7 Bang-able
    • Margaret Taylor
      • Bitch face
      • Married to “Old Rough and Ready”
      • Crude recluse from the frontier who smoked a corncob pipe and was kept hidden by her mortified family in the attic
      In a pinch
    • "Lady Bird" Johnson
      • Goes by “Lady Bird”
      • $$$ – Lady Bird owned multiple TV and radio stations
      • Author of a Beaver Hunt like publication called Wildflowers Across America
      Super Bang-able
    • Julia Tyler
      • Long head
      • Prone to be indiscreet, impulsive and reckless
      • Played guitar and sang
      Bang City
    • Julia Grant
      • Built like a tough little Irish kid
      • Wall-eyed
      • Liked living beyond her means
      • Wall-eyed
      Oddly Bang-able
    • Florence Harding
      • Totally poisoned her cheatin’ ass husband Warren
      • Eloped with her first husband at age 19; bore an out of wedlock child; and divorced 6 years later
      • Crazy into astrology and quack doctors
      Only if you’re into crazies
    • Mary Todd Lincoln
      • Old baby face
      • Suffered from severe depression, anxiety and paranoia
      • An accident threw her from a carriage
      • Her son died
      • Her husband got assassinated
      • Committed to an asylum and tried to commit suicide twice
      Bad JuJu
    • Ida McKinley
      • Looks like Orlando Bloom dressed as an elf
      Bang-able
      • Sick/Crazy/Heavily sedated invalid
    • Dolley Madison
      • Big tits
      • Kicked out of the Quakers
      • Lived at 4 th and Walnut – Good for late night post-Old City booty call
      • Rumored to have had an affair with notorious bootknocker Thomas Jefferson
      • Good in a fire
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