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First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
First Ladies
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First Ladies


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First Ladies

First Ladies

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  • 1. Herstory: America’s Most Bangable First Ladies
  • 2. Frances Folsom Cleveland
    • Young stuff – married the 48 year old Cleveland at age 21
    • Wore low-cut dresses
    • Good liar – Helped hide Cleveland’s jaw cancer
    Definitely Bang-able
  • 3. Mamie Eisenhower
    • Seems kinda kooky
    • Nickname was “Puddy”
    • Came from a family of meatpackers
    • Shorty: 5’1”
    • First president's wife known to be kissed openly in public
    Why Not?
  • 4. Sarah Polk
    • Hot like an old timey Winona Ryder
    • Tall, black hair, brown eyes, sallow coloring: "Sahara Sarah”
    • Banned hard liquor and dancing
    Not Bang-able
  • 5. Grace Coolidge
    • Pet raccoon. ‘Nuff said.
    • Baseball fan
    • Keep it Cool with Coolidge
    Crazy Bang-able
  • 6. Abigail Adams
    • Looks remarkably similar to actress Laura Linney
    • Nominated for three Academy Awards and two Emmys
    • In 2007, at age 264 she was reportedly engaged to Telluride real estate mogul, Mark Schauer
  • 7. Pat Nixon
    • First First Lady to earn a graduate degree
    • Skipped the second grade
    • Travelled the world for many good causes
    • Married Dick Nixon
    Completely Un-Bang-able
  • 8. Nellie Taft
    • Didn’t mind a fattie
    • Smoker, heavy drinker, gambler
    • Had a taste for some of the more scandalous "sex plays" of the 1920s
    24-7 Bang-able
  • 9. Margaret Taylor
    • Bitch face
    • Married to “Old Rough and Ready”
    • Crude recluse from the frontier who smoked a corncob pipe and was kept hidden by her mortified family in the attic
    In a pinch
  • 10. "Lady Bird" Johnson
    • Goes by “Lady Bird”
    • $$$ – Lady Bird owned multiple TV and radio stations
    • Author of a Beaver Hunt like publication called Wildflowers Across America
    Super Bang-able
  • 11. Julia Tyler
    • Long head
    • Prone to be indiscreet, impulsive and reckless
    • Played guitar and sang
    Bang City
  • 12. Julia Grant
    • Built like a tough little Irish kid
    • Wall-eyed
    • Liked living beyond her means
    • Wall-eyed
    Oddly Bang-able
  • 13. Florence Harding
    • Totally poisoned her cheatin’ ass husband Warren
    • Eloped with her first husband at age 19; bore an out of wedlock child; and divorced 6 years later
    • Crazy into astrology and quack doctors
    Only if you’re into crazies
  • 14. Mary Todd Lincoln
    • Old baby face
    • Suffered from severe depression, anxiety and paranoia
    • An accident threw her from a carriage
    • Her son died
    • Her husband got assassinated
    • Committed to an asylum and tried to commit suicide twice
    Bad JuJu
  • 15. Ida McKinley
    • Looks like Orlando Bloom dressed as an elf
    • Sick/Crazy/Heavily sedated invalid
  • 16. Dolley Madison
    • Big tits
    • Kicked out of the Quakers
    • Lived at 4 th and Walnut – Good for late night post-Old City booty call
    • Rumored to have had an affair with notorious bootknocker Thomas Jefferson
    • Good in a fire
    Sign Me Up