Herstory: America’s Most Bangable First Ladies
Frances Folsom Cleveland <ul><li>Young stuff – married the 48 year old Cleveland at age 21 </li></ul><ul><li>Wore low-cut ...
Mamie Eisenhower   <ul><li>Seems kinda kooky </li></ul><ul><li>Nickname was “Puddy” </li></ul><ul><li>Came from a family o...
Sarah Polk   <ul><li>Hot like an old timey Winona Ryder </li></ul><ul><li>Tall, black hair, brown eyes, sallow coloring: &...
Grace Coolidge   <ul><li>Pet raccoon.  ‘Nuff said. </li></ul><ul><li>Baseball fan </li></ul><ul><li>Keep it Cool with Cool...
Abigail Adams <ul><li>Looks remarkably similar to actress Laura Linney </li></ul><ul><li>Nominated for three Academy Award...
Pat Nixon <ul><li>First First Lady to earn a graduate degree </li></ul><ul><li>Skipped the second grade </li></ul><ul><li>...
Nellie Taft   <ul><li>Didn’t mind a fattie </li></ul><ul><li>Smoker, heavy drinker, gambler </li></ul><ul><li>Had a taste ...
Margaret Taylor <ul><li>Bitch face </li></ul><ul><li>Married to “Old Rough and Ready” </li></ul><ul><li>Crude recluse from...
&quot;Lady Bird&quot; Johnson   <ul><li>Goes by “Lady Bird” </li></ul><ul><li>$$$ – Lady Bird owned multiple TV and radio ...
Julia Tyler   <ul><li>Long head </li></ul><ul><li>Prone to be indiscreet, impulsive and reckless </li></ul><ul><li>Played ...
Julia Grant <ul><li>Built like a tough little Irish kid </li></ul><ul><li>Wall-eyed </li></ul><ul><li>Liked living beyond ...
Florence Harding <ul><li>Totally poisoned her cheatin’ ass husband Warren </li></ul><ul><li>Eloped with her first husband ...
Mary Todd Lincoln <ul><li>Old baby face </li></ul><ul><li>Suffered from severe depression, anxiety and paranoia </li></ul>...
Ida McKinley <ul><li>Looks like Orlando Bloom dressed as an elf </li></ul>Bang-able <ul><li>Sick/Crazy/Heavily sedated inv...
Dolley Madison <ul><li>Big tits </li></ul><ul><li>Kicked out of the Quakers </li></ul><ul><li>Lived at 4 th  and Walnut – ...
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First Ladies

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First Ladies

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Transcript of "First Ladies"

  1. 1. Herstory: America’s Most Bangable First Ladies
  2. 2. Frances Folsom Cleveland <ul><li>Young stuff – married the 48 year old Cleveland at age 21 </li></ul><ul><li>Wore low-cut dresses </li></ul><ul><li>Good liar – Helped hide Cleveland’s jaw cancer </li></ul>Definitely Bang-able
  3. 3. Mamie Eisenhower <ul><li>Seems kinda kooky </li></ul><ul><li>Nickname was “Puddy” </li></ul><ul><li>Came from a family of meatpackers </li></ul><ul><li>Shorty: 5’1” </li></ul><ul><li>First president's wife known to be kissed openly in public </li></ul>Why Not?
  4. 4. Sarah Polk <ul><li>Hot like an old timey Winona Ryder </li></ul><ul><li>Tall, black hair, brown eyes, sallow coloring: &quot;Sahara Sarah” </li></ul><ul><li>Banned hard liquor and dancing </li></ul>Not Bang-able
  5. 5. Grace Coolidge <ul><li>Pet raccoon. ‘Nuff said. </li></ul><ul><li>Baseball fan </li></ul><ul><li>Keep it Cool with Coolidge </li></ul>Crazy Bang-able
  6. 6. Abigail Adams <ul><li>Looks remarkably similar to actress Laura Linney </li></ul><ul><li>Nominated for three Academy Awards and two Emmys </li></ul><ul><li>In 2007, at age 264 she was reportedly engaged to Telluride real estate mogul, Mark Schauer </li></ul>Bang-able
  7. 7. Pat Nixon <ul><li>First First Lady to earn a graduate degree </li></ul><ul><li>Skipped the second grade </li></ul><ul><li>Travelled the world for many good causes </li></ul><ul><li>Married Dick Nixon </li></ul>Completely Un-Bang-able
  8. 8. Nellie Taft <ul><li>Didn’t mind a fattie </li></ul><ul><li>Smoker, heavy drinker, gambler </li></ul><ul><li>Had a taste for some of the more scandalous &quot;sex plays&quot; of the 1920s </li></ul>24-7 Bang-able
  9. 9. Margaret Taylor <ul><li>Bitch face </li></ul><ul><li>Married to “Old Rough and Ready” </li></ul><ul><li>Crude recluse from the frontier who smoked a corncob pipe and was kept hidden by her mortified family in the attic </li></ul>In a pinch
  10. 10. &quot;Lady Bird&quot; Johnson <ul><li>Goes by “Lady Bird” </li></ul><ul><li>$$$ – Lady Bird owned multiple TV and radio stations </li></ul><ul><li>Author of a Beaver Hunt like publication called Wildflowers Across America </li></ul>Super Bang-able
  11. 11. Julia Tyler <ul><li>Long head </li></ul><ul><li>Prone to be indiscreet, impulsive and reckless </li></ul><ul><li>Played guitar and sang </li></ul>Bang City
  12. 12. Julia Grant <ul><li>Built like a tough little Irish kid </li></ul><ul><li>Wall-eyed </li></ul><ul><li>Liked living beyond her means </li></ul><ul><li>Wall-eyed </li></ul>Oddly Bang-able
  13. 13. Florence Harding <ul><li>Totally poisoned her cheatin’ ass husband Warren </li></ul><ul><li>Eloped with her first husband at age 19; bore an out of wedlock child; and divorced 6 years later </li></ul><ul><li>Crazy into astrology and quack doctors </li></ul>Only if you’re into crazies
  14. 14. Mary Todd Lincoln <ul><li>Old baby face </li></ul><ul><li>Suffered from severe depression, anxiety and paranoia </li></ul><ul><li>An accident threw her from a carriage </li></ul><ul><li>Her son died </li></ul><ul><li>Her husband got assassinated </li></ul><ul><li>Committed to an asylum and tried to commit suicide twice </li></ul>Bad JuJu
  15. 15. Ida McKinley <ul><li>Looks like Orlando Bloom dressed as an elf </li></ul>Bang-able <ul><li>Sick/Crazy/Heavily sedated invalid </li></ul>
  16. 16. Dolley Madison <ul><li>Big tits </li></ul><ul><li>Kicked out of the Quakers </li></ul><ul><li>Lived at 4 th and Walnut – Good for late night post-Old City booty call </li></ul><ul><li>Rumored to have had an affair with notorious bootknocker Thomas Jefferson </li></ul><ul><li>Good in a fire </li></ul>Sign Me Up
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