Better Or Worse Than Queen

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  • 1. Better or Worse Than Queen?
    Better or worse than QUEEN?
    May
    Taylor
    Mercury
    Deacon
  • 2. vs.
    Fat Bottomed Girls
    Baby’s Got Back
  • 3. BETTER
    Mix-a-lot’s still got it
  • 4. vs.
    Freddie’s unitard
    Cornfed tigertard
  • 5. BETTER
    Chest hair
  • 6. vs.
    Short mic stand
    Short leg
  • 7. BETTER
    God’s fault
  • 8. vs.
    Brian May
    Louis XIV
  • 9. BETTER
    Motherfuckin’ Sun King
  • 10. vs.
    Farrokh Bulsara
    Farang Irani
  • 11. BETTER
    Guy smiley
  • 12. vs.
    Statue of Freddie in Montreaux, Switzerland
    Statue of boner guy
  • 13. BETTER
    I just want to grab it
  • 14. vs.
    DeNiro, May, Taylor
    Shit, blood, cum
  • 15. WAY BETTER
    Sorry about that
  • 16. vs.
    Roger Taylor dressed as a boy
    Roger Taylor dressed as a girl
  • 17. 100% FUCKABLE
    Not even close
  • 18. vs.
    Brian May figurine
    Cobain Unplugged figurine
  • 19. BETTER
    Biggie Doll
  • 20. vs.
    Queen’s Bicycle Race Video
    Manayunk Bike Race
  • 21. BETTER
    You might see Gregg Gethard throw up on a grill
  • 22. vs.
    Freddie petting a cat
    Tom Waits fishing
  • 23. BETTER
    Nothing could be more worse than Tom Waits, his dumb singing voice, and his stupid old clothes
  • 24. vs.
    Queen’s Flash Gordon Soundtrack
    ELO’s Xanadu Soundtrack
  • 25. FORGIVENESS GRANTED
    Good cocaine costs real money
  • 26. vs.
    Moet et Chandon
    in a pretty cabinet
    Ponies in a bucket
  • 27. BETTER
    Ponies: the lowest form of human consumption
  • 28. vs.
    Crazy Little Thing Called Love
    Crazy little thing called necrosis
  • 29. BETTER
    Don’t care for that song
  • 30. vs.
    A middle aged woman dreaming about Freddie’s stache
    A middle aged woman wishing she could fuck a horse
  • 31. BETTER
    Horses sometimes like fucking people to death
  • 32. vs.
    Queen topless
    Pit bottomless
  • 33. BETTER
    I would let these guys run a train on me before I went to Finnigan’s Wake
  • 34. vs.
    Michael Jackson with a total hard on for Freddie
    Michael Jackson with a total hard on for balloons
  • 35. BETTER
    Just look at the camera, kid
  • 36. vs.
    Freddie look-a-like 1
    Freddie look-a-like 2
  • 37. BETTER
    More murderous
  • 38. vs.
    Paul Stanley making Brian May feel super uncomfortable
    Paul Stanley making me feel super uncomfortable
  • 39. BETTER
    Leave me alone, Paul Stanley
  • 40. vs.
    Freddie pretending to like chicks
    Me, honestly, liking the movie White Chicks
  • 41. BETTER
    Sequel in development!
  • 42. vs.
    Freddie Mercury Shoes
    Iron Maiden Tie
  • 43. DEAD EVEN
    Please don’t make me choose
  • 44. vs.
    John Deacon’s weird 80s hairdo
    All natural sea sponge
  • 45. BETTER
    Doesn’t smell like cigarettes and the last groupie left
  • 46. vs.
    Eye sash
    Eye nipples
  • 47. BETTER
    I guess, sorta
  • 48. vs.
    Queen on the cover of Music Life magazine
    Steve Guttenberg on the cover of Playgirl magazine
  • 49. BETTER
    Doesn’t have Steve Guttenberg’s baby bald nutsac in it
  • 50. vs.
    The Basslines in “Under Pressure” and “Another One Bites the Dust”
    World peace
  • 51. BETTER
    Basslines are forever
  • 52. vs.
    Listening to “Bohemian Rhapsody” all the way through
    Getting your dick slammed in a door
  • 53. BETTER
    Just barely