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Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!
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Account of the Numbersons: Chapter 0.1 ... I Found a Lawn!

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  • 1. 1234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012356789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678902345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123467890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789013456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234578901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890124567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345689012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901235678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456790123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012346789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567801234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123457890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678912345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234568901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789023456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345679012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345689012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901235678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890
  • 2. I‘ve done legaciesbefore, you know?Therefore, one mightassume I generallyunderstand the conceptof how the early days ofthe challenge go, andthat I would find lawnliving really tedious. Sowhen I plopped our  LAWNfounder onto thisfantastic 5x5 block ofNOTHING, I thought LIVING about using therespectable amount ofleftover simoleons tobuild him a tiny housewith a bed. Maybe atoilet, if he was lucky.Then I realized this: Iusually stare atmagnificent Georgianhouses and elaborategardens; I watch my characters wander around in prim waistcoats and bonnets, shiny boots and fine slippers. And, well… after that, lawn livingis actually something NEW to me. Sure, it‘s a staple of the usual observational legacy, and practically a cliché..but damn it I want to watch myfounder bathe in the open air. I want to observe the weirdness that is eating your dinner of cheap hot dogs in front of anyone who happens towander by. I want him to live in a tent!So I may have gone slightly overboard in explaining my thought process, but what the crap ELSE am I supposed to talk about in here? I supposeI could tell you that this is an observational legacy, and I will do my damndest to keep it that way. I SUPPOSE I could tell you that this legacy isloosely based on my own OCD, and that it will have arbitrary but strict rules. I also may explain what those rules ARE, but I mean… why onEarth would you care about any of that?…I could ALSO explain that I am very naturally snarky, sarcastic, and generally odd, but due to the existence of the above three paragraphs I‘mgoing to go out on a limb here and say you‘ve figured that out. 
  • 3. Readers, meet Zero Numberson. He‘s a ―pretty rad dude‖ by his own estimation; by mine he is a Popularity/Family sim and a Gemini with a 0/10/9/8/0personality. Don‘t let the fact that he has no nice points fool you; he‘s just a happy-go-lucky dude with a really bad temper. So it‘s generally a good idea to notpiss him off, because he‘ll Like Totally Be Your BFF if you‘re nice.He also really enjoys the color pink as well as moonlit strolls and a good apple martini.He also has a cat who once aspired to be a zebra. (No, he doesn‘t want to talk about it.) His name is Cat. Yes, really.You may have noticed that these names are somewhat unorthodox. To be entirely fair I once had a cat named Big Kitty, but… that is not the point. No, thepoint is that we‘ve got a naming scheme around here, and it‘s not to be deviated from.So. This would probably be an opportune moment to post the rules I mentioned, right? Well then…
  • 4. 1. Each generation will have a set number of children. Cheesecake is allowed and encouraged.Generation 0 – Founders Generation 1 - 10 Children Generation 2 - 9 Children Generation 3 - 8 Children Generation 4 - 7 ChildrenGeneration 5 - 6 Children Generation 6 - 5 Children Generation 7 - 4 Children Generation 8 - 3 Children Generation 9 - 2 Children Generation 10 - 1 ChildPenalty: If any generation goes over the child limit money will be reset to $20,000 and the entire house demolished.2. Sims will be named after their generation number, using other languages words for the number. For instance, Generation 0, the founder, is named Zero.Were he to have, I dont know, multiple personalities, they would be named things like Dim (Welsh), Cero (Spanish), or Lìhng (Cantonese). Additionally, thefirst child in each generation will be named for the generation‘s number. Example: First born in Generation 4 would be named Four. The cats will simply be"cat" in other languages, beginning with our founding feline: Cat.
  • 5. 3. Each sim must maximize a skill and a hobby by the time they reach young adulthood.Penalty: Sim will lose all skills and hobby interest.4. There may only be as many rooms as sims in the house, no more.5. Breakfast and dinner must be served every day, whether sims are hungry or not.Penalty: Appliances removed for 24 hours.6. Family Values: Note that I didn‘t say STRICT Family Values. Extramarital ‗hoo is illegal, but sims don‗tPenalty: Disqualified from heirship. If a married heir cheats, he will have relationships zeroed out with all family members.7. All sims must be enrolled in private school by the time they leave for college.Penalty: They cannot go to college.
  • 6. 8. Primary AND secondary aspirations must be rolled.9.Toddlers must be instructed in all skills.Penalty: They will be Cheesed.10. No service sims. (DIY)Penalty: $5000k is deducted for each service sim used, and for each use. ……….For the record, the Legacy will take place in Bluewater Village. As it‘s a shopping district I found it appropriate since we‘re all about numbers here.Also for the record: I put that bush there purely to see if he would to this. Consider me amused.
  • 7. This, dear viewers, is Cat. Cat is… well, a cat. He‘s an Aries, which generally means he‘s really smart, relatively calm, very friendly… and a mess. Which… amessy cat? Not only is that abnormal but it‘s going to be a pain.That bird toy Zero attached to his tent? BEST THING EVER, in Cat‘s mind. He spent most of his time there for the entirety of the Lawn Living Situation.
  • 8. ―Hey, lady! That is a nice dress. I like that dress.‖Wanda Tinker turned her head and slowed slightly. ―Uh. It was on sale at Sim-Mart…?‖―Really?! Faaaaaaaantastic,‖ Zero crowed.―I‘m going to keep walking. Men in drag give me hives.‖And founders without spouses give me hives, so Zero ―felt instantly compelled‖ to go into town and meet the locals.Yes, I forced him. I know, how very cruel of me to send a Popularity sim on a friend hunt. For SHAME, self!
  • 9. Because any girl we find at the arcade is basically automatically not good spouse material, Zero trotted down memory lane the street to the old staple ―DateFinding Place.‖Also known as a bar and/or club.Also known as Club Dante.
  • 10. Also known as Club Dante Which Is Clearly A Gay Bar But That‘s Okay Because Free Love And All That.And HEY. For a minute there I thought I‘d gotten a nice, noob-y picture of the sky… but no. No, that‘s just a blue ceiling. Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm…I‘m going to have to come back here and redecorate, aren‘t I? No respectable gay bar club has poor decoration!
  • 11. Zero didn‘t immediately see any ladies so he went to the actual bar in hopes of finding someone to buy drinks for and take home when they inevitably pass outfrom all the shamelessly purchased juice.Okay, I lied, and you know I lied because she was in the background of the previous slide. He DID see Christy Stratton, but a) she scares me, and b) she‘s gotbrown hair and dark blue eyes. I‘m willing to marry in some dominance (No not that kind, geez. This is a family program! …Don‘t look at me like that.) butnot two dominant genes. If you‘d seen generation four of my Regacy, you‘d understand. No, really.―Ugh, what did you put in this,‖ Zero sputtered―Three shots of gin, a shot each of cherry brandy, pineapple schnapps, dark rum, coconut rum, vodka… then a crap ton of grenadine.‖―I‘m not sure I like the phrase ―crap ton‖ in the same sentence as my drink ingredients.‖The bartender, whose name Zero didn‘t ask and I don‘t care enough to remember, rolled his eyes. ―You asked, right?‖
  • 12. ―This is TERRIBLE.‖ Chug, chug, chug. Just like most dudes he drank the whole thing, tasty or no.Oh, Zero.
  • 13. Aw.…What? You mean YOU don‘t bring your cat to pick up chicks with you? Have you lived under a rock your whole life?Geez.
  • 14. AHA! FEMALE SPOTTED.Zero zeroed in (I had to say it at some point) on a pretty lady with horrible pigtails, and it would be really great to say ―And the rest is history!‖However.
  • 15. ―Hey, has anyone ever grabbed you by those things and just NAILED—‖―What the ACTUAL hell are you doing?‖―Um. Was that inappropriate? I don‘t really have a filter.‖She glared, and Zero noticed she had bright blue eyes. ―YES.‖―HEY! Watch where you‘re flailing. This shirt is 100% cotton.‖The girl blinked. ―…What? So are a lot of things.‖―It made you stop yelling!‖―Oh my God…‖ Pigtail Girl groaned as she stalked off.―Well shit.‖
  • 16. Somehow, Zero eventually convinced her to play pinball with him. It may have involved large amounts of groveling and, since he realized she had a slightlyargumentative nature, a dare.―I‘m totally going to win, and you‘re going to have to streak down Main Street.‖―Beth, Beth, Beth…‖ Zero sighed as he concentrated. ―If you wanted me to take my shirt off all you had to do was ask.‖―…Jerk.‖―Anyway, I was a pinball master in high school. You haven‘t got a chance in Hell‘s ass of beating me, and you‘ll have to go out with me.‖―Oh the unimaginable horror,‖ Beth said, glowering.
  • 17. ―I‘ll go out with you!‖ some random lady offered.―You‘d go out with him?‖―Sure, why not? He‘s cute, has great hair and nice abs—‖―I sure do.‖―—and I‘m really, really desperate. So… deal?‖Zero narrowed his eyes. ―Why don‘t you make like a tree and LEAVE.‖Beth actually cracked a smile. ―I can‘t believe you said that.‖
  • 18. ―Alright, you won,‖ Beth agreed, not too bitterly. ―A deal is a deal, right? What do you want to do?‖―We are going to partake in the most awesome activity to ever be enjoyed by simkind,‖ Zero said without an ounce of sarcasm.―…I‘m not ‗hooing you on a first date. In fact, I‘m not ‗hooing you ever.‖―Huh? No, no that‘s not what I meant at all.‖
  • 19. Apparently Zero‘s idea of The Best First Date Ever involves splashing thehell out of your date and knocking her on her butt with countless waterballoons, then teasing her about the grass stains.Needless to say… the date didn‘t go particularly well.
  • 20. He and Beth may have been inching toward friendship but as he liked hera lot more than she liked him Zero tried to move on.He found a woman offering matchmaking house calls in the Classifiedsand invited her over immediately. He forked over every bit of money hehad (which was not a lot) and watched her stuff it into her blouse beforeshe pulled a shiny ball apparently literally out of her ass.Sims inventory, eh? I‘ll never understand it.―So I guess you want a guy, right?‖―Er, what?‖―Um…‖ The woman just gestured at his outfit.
  • 21. Poor Zero was deeply offended. ―Hey! Just because I‘m wearing pink…? That doesn‘t make me gay, that makes me open.‖―…I‘m not going to touch that potential pun with a ten foot pole. Pole. Aaaand now I‘ve made it worse. Shit!‖―Right…‖ Zero started to back away, but not before weighing the pros and cons of reaching into the gypsy‘s blouse for his $999. His arm started to inch towardher…―Hands off the goods! Fuck bugger wank… No, I did not set you up with Captain Plaid. Your date is right there there,‖ she said, pointing to a heap of limbs,freshly dropped seemingly from some weird cloud full of dates. ―She‘s wearing pink like you. You‘ll get along!‖
  • 22. Date Drop whined. ―Where am I now? UGH. I TOLD my mom I didn‘twant any more help finding a boyfriend!‖―Uh. I‘d say it‘s nice to meet you, but I‘m looking for a ‗hoo-mate and you‘reclearly underage so this is just REALLY awkward.‖―Do you even want to know my name?‖―Not really, no,‖ he admitted.Date Drop grinned. ―Life in the clouds is boring. Call me back when youhave some teenage kids or something.‖As the sun went down, Zero pulled out his phone and started dialing. Staringat the gypsy he said, ―A teenager? Really? This is the 21st century, not one ofthose other ones where banging girls half your age was normal.‖―Let me try again?‖ she begged. Zero shook his head. ―Two for one deal?!How about that? Buy one get one free?‖ He just looked at her. ―PLEASE?!‖
  • 23. ―For the LAST TIME I am NOT buying more women from you! Now GET OFF MY LAWN.‖―Um. Hello?‖―Beth! Beeeeeeeeeeeeeth. Beth, Beth, Beth! How‘s it going?‖―Pretty sure you just told me you wished to bust a cap in your pimp operation‘s ass and to ‗get off your lawn‘ so its going really damn weird.‖―Oh, don‘t mind that. I was talking to, ah… Cat.‖―…Right. Okay a) I don‘t want to know what a cat is doing with prostitutes, and b) you told me your entire property is your lawn, so—‖
  • 24. ―Where did you even GET the prostitute thing? Never mind. Listen, do you want to come over? I… the… there‘s… well the stars are really pretty and I‘ve gotbooze. And a tent. NOT that we need to be in the tent, but if the need did arise I am prepared with a box load of con—‖―Fine. Can I bring a friend?‖―A friend?‖―Uh huh.‖―So there‘d be three of us?‖ There was no response. ―Are you proposing a threesome?‖ To Zero‘s immense surprise, he heard laughing on the other end.Once he‘d processed what he‘d actually said he expected screaming and a long list of swear words. Instead… laughing?―We‘ll see…‖ Beth said, and hung up. Zero stood with the phone to his ear right up until Beth and her friend showed up.
  • 25. The laughing finally made sense. A LOT of sense. Denise Jaquet may have been a looker in her younger days (unlikely) but she definitely isn‘t NOW. Also, ithas yet to be confirmed that she is in fact human, and not a robot and/or alien. One should usually confirm one‘s sexual partners‘ humanity before proceeding,after all.Anyway.
  • 26. For some completely misunderstood reason, Beth was actually happy to seeZero. He told her she looked pretty, she blushed; he reached out and grabbedher hands, she didn‘t pull away…He even kissed her on the cheek, and DIDN‘T get punched for it.
  • 27. Zero didn‘t get it. Honestly, neither did I.―What‘s up, Beth? Last night you didn‘t want anything to do with me no matter what I said, but tonight…. It‘s been totally weird since the second I first sawyou. It‘s like I‘ve known you forever and I‘m really comfortable with you and everything, but I figured that was just me since you just kept glaring at me andbeing snarky and—‖
  • 28. ―OH MY GOD! Zero, I‘m so sorry!‖―Why? That was AWESOME.‖―But… I don‘t like you.‖―I really, really beg to differ, Beth. Are you wearing lip gloss? Taste‘s like cotton candy.‖
  • 29. ―I am actually, yeah,‖ Beth giggled. It was the cutest thing Zero thoughtshe‘d ever done.The cutest thing after grabbing him out of nowhere and kissing him like he‘dnever been kissed before, of course.Zero looked around his lawn. ―I think your friend left.‖―Denise? Eh she‘s just my boss, whatever.‖―It‘s probably good your boss left, then.‖Beth tilted her head sideways. ―Why?‖―Well clearly I‘m going to kiss you again, then audaciously invite you to mytent.‖There was the giggle again.
  • 30.
  • 31. Calm down, viewers. No rules were broken. All they did was talk.…What? They did! I‘ll even show you the special first-woohoo hearts later ifyou want.Neither Zero nor Beth really knew what had come over them, but what theydid know was that they were apparently meant to bicker and make out for therest of their lives.Living on a lawn having hot dogs for breakfast wasn‘t Beth‘s idea of a goodtime, though, and there was only one clear solution.She moved in. Or… on. Can you move in to a lawn?
  • 32. First things first! The pig tails had to go, Beth. Sorry. I DID try to keep with her general style, just… less bad.Oh, and I built them a house too.FASHION IS IMPORTANT OKAY?
  • 33. So. Beth Suwankiri moved in with just over $5k and nothing in her inventory, but it was enough to start a small house with! Clearly Denise is paying her wellat J‘Adore Bakery.If this were a plotty legacy I‘d talk about how Beth was obviously a Simindian from the Simunited Kingdom who came over to Simerica looking for a freshstart after her entire family was killed in a tragic private plane accident. I‘d talk about her fabulous accent and mastery of Simindian cuisine, even.But…for the purposes of this thing, we‘ll just put her in a sari from time to time, mmk?
  • 34. Zero wants to get a job in Politics, but I suppose there isn‘t an election on right now, or some such nonsense. Therefore the next obvious step was to get him ajob in the criminal track to make money while we wait. Another screwy politician, coming right up!
  • 35. After just one day at work for both of them, they finally managed to pay the freaking electric bill and put siding on the house.
  • 36. Zero wanted to be with Beth, and she wanted to be with him. Things mayhave been new, but the whole ―soul mates‖ thing had been pretty clear.Since that was tremendously apparent and they‘d been living together for twodays and were definitely not going to be able to pass another night without‗hooing like rabbits…and he was getting tired of sleeping on the floor Zerothought the next obvious step was marriage.Shocking herself more than anyone, Beth agreed to that too. The fact that shewas going to get babies out of it didn‘t even cross her mind. For very long.
  • 37. They couldn‘t afford a big ceremony, so they utilized the public park‘s gazebo to exchange their vows. It was pretty and it was free. What‘s not to like?
  • 38. Sigh. Of course now it‘s going to look like I‘ve broken a rule for the entire generation since their engagement rings glitched, but I SWEAR they‘re married.Unsurprisingly, the post-wedding-night conversation was awkward.Seriously, YOU try meeting someone and marrying them four days later and see how weird it is the day after. I can‘t even begin to imagine.
  • 39. This would be a really good example of why neat sims shouldn‘t (or should, depending on how you look at it) marry messy sims.This would also be a really good example of why showers are generally NOT in the middle of people‘s living rooms.…I will admit to wanting to see that in real life, though. Would it be a conversation piece or something? ―Oh yeah, that‘s my living room shower. It‘s like acloset, only wet.‖Don‘t judge me.
  • 40. I‘m not going to make the ―something I ate‖ comment. No, I‘m just going to tell you that Beth is pregnant, and that I scanned her immediately.It‘s twins.I‘d complain and whine about how this is SO VERY OBVIOUSLY my game and that the ease of having natural twins seems to have followed me here fromSimshire, but.. Well, you read the rules. We need ten of these nooboos, so we better get cracking.
  • 41. You see how the toilet is all pukey already? Yeeeeah. This was takenabout 15 seconds after the other one.Also, Beth dear… while your enthusiasm for eating in order to nourishyour babies is greatly admired… spoons are actually helpful, not harmful,to this plan.This is going to be fun.
  • 42. Car remains enthralled by the jingly bird toy, and has named him Friedrich.Perhaps dear Cat speaks German? We may never know. It‘s odd enough that he named anything at all… Maybe we should focus on that oddity.Or! Perhaps we should try and find Cat a baby-mama so this cat legacy goes as planned. I should have made Cat female and just whored her out… but no, nowI actually have to move IN another feline.Maybe there WAS something to the Zero-and-Cat pimp operation…
  • 43. Zero has continued to fail at getting that Politics job he wants so very, very much.I, at least, am enjoying the process of trying.
  • 44. Let us offer Cat a small bit of advice shall we, readers?To Cat, dearest of dear legacy felines: DO. NOT. TOUCH. A.PREGNANT. FOUNDER‘S. FOOD.Honestly, it‘s not wise to ever touch ANY woman‘s food, let alone apregnant one, but a legacy founder‘s wife? HELL no.
  • 45. The pregnancy moseyed along, and Beth got a belly, et cetera, et cetera.Zero, being half family, was super stoked and spent most of his timerubbing and talking to Beth‘s abdomen.Of course, Cat made sure he got his snuggles too, or Zero would have hadhell to pay.
  • 46. You‘d think what with people starting to obsess over who gets to be the next President about five minutes after the current one is elected that there would prettymuch always be a need for help in Politics.Apparently not.Security guard? Sure.
  • 47. Not only is Zero‘s dream job looking less and less likely, he‘s also sick. Awesome. He also gave it to Beth who, as someone who will be terminally pregnantfor the most part, really, REALLY doesn‘t need any more problems.
  • 48. Of course just as Zero was falling asleep and beginning to work on gettingbetter, babies #1 and #2 decided to arrive.―Zero.‖―Mmmmmmmmsick.‖―Zero Numberson you get out of bed right now because I am having twinsand I – WHY AM I EXPLAINING? GET THE SHIT UP.‖―…Fine, fine…‖―OOF!‖
  • 49. And we have our first babies of the legacy!Not that you can see them particularly well, but the firstborn (the one Zerois holding) has his mother‘s dark skin and black hair with his father‘sgreenish-blue eyes. His name is One.The one Beth is holding has his father‘s skin and his mother‘s black hairand light blue eyes. He‘s going to be called Eins.Three guesses why Zero and Beth put the babies in their play thingsimmediately.First two don‘t count, either.
  • 50. This was taken after a very, ah, energetic ‗hoo on the bench outside. I…didn‘t feel like you needed to see that. I wish I hadn‘t.
  • 51. I know right, One? I just CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE that your mother is pregnant again. What‘s that you said One? She‘s pregnant with twins?Shocking.I really thought the twin benefit would come in handy, but she‘s had freaking natural twins twice in a row now! I‘m not sure whether to yell at her or pat her onthe back.
  • 52. Definitely pat her on the back. Gently.Poor Beth!
  • 53. The next couple of days were filled with baby cuddles, belly pops, ander… impromptu smustle sessions?Poor Gilbert doesn‘t look like he quite knows how this whole smustlingthing works, but bless him for trying.
  • 54. Also filling our founders‘ days:1. Cake.2. Another Cake3. Baby rocket? Okay, Zero…4. TODDLERS!That‘s Eins on the left, and One on the right. I‘ll be right back. I need tosqueal at the cute uncontrollably for a few minutes. In the meantime,have stats!One: Aries 6/10/9/7/0Eins: Libra 1/10/6/4/8Oh, I forgot the other thing filling our founders days… any idea what itcould possibly be? Hint: it involves an awful lot of screaming, twirling,and cooing.
  • 55. This is Yī. As you can see she has her mother‘s coloring except for her father‘s greenish-blue eyes. CUTE.And…I‘m rather ashamed of myself, but I can‘t seem to find a picture of this lovely young lady‘s brother. Just pretend he looks like her, only with slightlylighter skin and light blue eyes. Mmk? His name is Yāt.
  • 56. Thus begins the first of many toddler training rounds. (HEY you can sortof see Yāt in the background there!)Thank goodness for smart milk. Seriously. They may look extremelyuninterested, but thanks to that miraculous beverage One and Eins learnedall of their skills in a day.
  • 57. Oh, and somebody went and got pregnant again. I know you‘re all just crazed with surprise.
  • 58. I, for one, am crazed with worry. Zero finally got his Politics job (yay!) but it has pretty intense hours, which leaves Beth home with two toddlers, two infants,and two, I don‘t know, tadpoles. Not yay for that, because she‘s really not doing particularly well, especially considering the fact that I can‘t hire service simsAND she HAS to cook twice a day.Hang in there, Beth! If you carry on getting knocked up with twins this will all be over very soon, and then maybe you can take a nap.
  • 59. One had the AUDACITY to grow up before his dear twin Eins, and Einswas not at all happy about this.Until he grew up, that is.―OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER HOLYCOW.‖I‘ll just pat him on the head and perhaps slip him some sleeping pills.
  • 60. Yāt and Yī also grew up and got exponentially more cute.Stats time!Yāt: Leo 6/10/5/7/5Yī: Scorpio 10/3/10/7/1I think I may love Yī a little too much already. Oops?
  • 61. Look, fish stuff! I‘m not ashamed to admit I am still super excited about the Family Fun Stuff things, because unlike 90% of the sims community, I only justgot it a few months ago AND I play a stuffy historical legacy most of the time. Heh. So Eins and One got to have a cool room even though the Numbersons arestill basically money-less.
  • 62. You know, at least Beth is a Family sim and LIKES being pregnant andplaying with her kids. She‘ll happily stand around and watch them orplay with them or help them learn not to poop their pants… it‘s adorable.Almost as adorable as Yiyi with poor old Cat.Oh, and it‘s twins again for Beth. It was originally a singlet, but the twinbenefit kicked in at the first pop.
  • 63. The only problem with Beth being constantly pregnant is that she is TRYING TO DIE.The situation seems dire, but fortunately ―Zero‖ had a fantastic idea.
  • 64. ―Cheesecake… cheesecake, cheesecake, and cheesecake. This will make Beth feel so much better!‖Well… maybe not really, but at least she‘s guaranteed to only have two more pregnancies after the current one.
  • 65. ―Let‘s see, that‘s $5.75 per slice… hrgmpflbmdpetrgd…carry the one, subtract four… —‖―HURRY UP WOULD YOU?! MY WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH TWINS AND COULD GIVE BIRTH AT ANY MOMENT.‖―Really? You‘re Beth‘s husband, right? I wonder why she came into work today.‖What?―WHAT?‖
  • 66. Honestly I‘d pretty much forgotten that Beth even HAD a job. I would have completely had I not been getting popups about maternity leave and vacation days.She hasn‘t been to work since before she got married, but apparently Gilbert called her in at the exact time Zero came to pick up some Tasty Desserts.…Cat must be taking care of the babies.
  • 67. Unconcerned about a cat taking care of their children, Zero and Beth took the opportunity to engage in Public Woohoo. Fortuitously, Gilbert seems to besomething of a voyeur, so Beth didn‘t get fired.She probably got a raise.
  • 68. Back at the ranch the house, things were back to normal. Beth went intolabor right after Zero arrived with the cheesecake, and gave birth to twingirls.First was Uma and she had her mother‘s exact coloring; her sister Una hadZero‘s eyes.
  • 69. Zero and Beth promptly headed to the bedroom.Beth promptly got pregnant.The next morning, she ate her slice of cheesecake like a good little legacyfounder…
  • 70. …And then promptly puked up the entirety of it.
  • 71. It worked anyway.
  • 72. Completely disregarding the large amounts of ‗hoo these two are having since that is looking more like work at this point, Beth and Zero do love each other, andthey make an effort to show it.It‘s pretty cute, if you ask me. Not bad for a spur-of-the-moment marriage, right?
  • 73. They are definitely not failing on the producing-cute-kids front, either. Una (left) and Uma (right) grew up almost without notice, but at least their adorablenesswill get them attention!
  • 74. Yāt & Yī also grew up, this time almost completely under the radar. I managed to snap ONE picture, at least!
  • 75. I feel the need to justify the fact that Christy Stratton is fixing the Numbersons‘ computer, which probably means it IS illegal according to my rules, butwhatever. Influenced sims don‘t equal service sims, damn it!
  • 76. And anyway, poor Beth NEEDS help. She has four million other things to do during the day, and the furniture and such in the house is still crap so motivesaren‘t easily kept up. Fixing a computer is just not on her priority list at all.
  • 77. They‘re all just lovely, aren‘t they?Lovely, and without nice points for the most part, but still!―Mom. MOOOOOOM. Mom, mom, mom?‖―…?‖―Are we ever going to have more than two chairs?‖―Depends on if I still have a job after I‘m done playing Super Mom, to behonest, Yiyi.‖But chairs and money were the last things on Beth‘s mind about 2 minuteslater…
  • 78. Birth has just become so ridiculously common these days that the towniesdon‘t even rush over to scream and flail. WHAT is the world coming to?Oh right, the babies. The seventh and eighth Numberson childrenlooked… a lot like their older siblings. They were basically identicalwith their light blue eyes and black hair, the only difference being thatAne (left) had slightly lighter skin than her sister Eme (right).
  • 79. Somehow, Beth managed to stay un-pregnant for a full 24 hours! She used that day to train Uma and Una in their skills without passing out, peeing her pants,or nearly starving to death!It‘s ground breaking, I tell you!―Maybe I‘ll finally get to go to work!‖
  • 80. ―…Damn it.‖No such luck.
  • 81. The good news is that as a level 6 in Politics Zero has a few vacation days. Therefore, he took two of them to help with Ane and Eme while Beth puked herguts out every 3 hours on the first day, then took a nap about every 4 on the second day.
  • 82. More good news: The four oldest Numbersons are largely self sufficient now. All Beth and Zero had to do was teach each of them how to study, and then Bethmakes breakfast and lunch every day like clockwork. The kids took care of themselves, apart from that.Thank goodness.
  • 83. Even MORE good news! Zero‘s promotions and Beth‘s novels (Don‘t even ask me how she managed to write two of them through all this. I seriously don‘tknow how she lived.) paid for some minor decoration, and there are actually WALLS! AND there is a table that fits… about half of the household. But hey,that‘s better than two chairs, right?The bad news is I had a blonde moment and didn‘t put a door from the hallway to the kitchen, so everyone was blocked off on one side of the house or the otheruntil I figured that out. Fail?Yes. But it‘s fixed now!
  • 84. The next day brought some last minute toddler skilling. Una was finished with hers, but Uma had two to go. It was already four o‘clock, and they were due togrow up that night.―COME ON. WALK. YOU CAN DO IT,‖ Beth flailed.―Buh…?‖Una was in her own world. ―Block is chewy.‖
  • 85. ―So, we‘re teens now.‖―Yeah. Um. Nice robe?‖Six o‘clock? Oh dear. That means Una and Uma are out of time as toddlers…
  • 86. …And that Uma will be our first penalty. She‘ll be Cheesed as a teen, and will not be allowed a secondary aspiration.Una felt bad. ―Oh, Uma… couldn‘t you have waited a few more minutes until Mom was done with you?‖Uma, on the other hand, was entirely unconcerned. ―I… I feel like this hand needs something. A sandwich, perhaps?‖
  • 87. MORE TODDLERS! I‘ll admit Ane jumped right ahead in my List of Favorites by growing up into that dress. How cute is she?!?!Oh, and Eme is pretty damn great too.…Hawaiian dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess…!
  • 88. I‘m so glad Zero and Beth are still happy, despite the fact that Beth is constantly pregnant (and therefore more cranky than usual) and her waistline has gone toshit even when she isn‘t pregnant. Aw.
  • 89. Seeing this made me instantly sad that you CAN‘T do that with toddlers. Toddlers LOVE that sort of thing, come on!On the other hand, if Eme gets any closer she‘s going to have a face full of Cat and his claws of doom-y cat-ness.
  • 90. OH MY GOODNESS.Readers! Do you realize what this means?!1. Twin girls!2. Baby #9 and Baby #10 of Generation One!3. Beth can finally be un-pregnant for more than a day!4. BETH GETS TO GO BACK TO WORK.So…it‘s just a happy time for all, really!Beth is holding Hitotsu, and Zero has Ichi. They both have light blue eyes& black hair, but Hitotsu has slightly lighter skin.
  • 91. Because I really, really don‘t expect any of you to have kept these children straight what with the rapid pace and general identicalness, have a family photo! Back Row, L-R: Eme, Eins, Zero, Ichi, Beth, Hitotsu, Ane, & One Front Row, L-R: Uma, Yāt, Yī, & Una
  • 92. And that‘s the end of this chapter! Zero looks really, really happy about it.I hope this was at least mildly entertaining for you all! I‘ve never done an observational thing before, so… who knows? Not meeeee.Anyway….NEXT TIME WITH THE NUMBERSONS:1. Can a headmaster even FIT into this house?2. Does Beth still have a job, and can she still work a cash register?3. How many grilled cheese sandwiches can Uma eat in one sitting?4. Decidedly fewer births! As in none! YAY.Until then, happy simming!

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