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  • 1. REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS FOUNDATIONS
  • 2. Why Do You Need This Stuff?  If you were good with women in general, you would know how to get the specific girl you want.  To keep the girlfriend you want you cannot be needy.  Knowing it could be a long time before you meet another girl while she can go out and meet another guy at any time guy often causes jealousy, insecurity, and neediness.
  • 3. Why Do You Need This Stuff?...  The confidence and social skills you build learning to be good with women will help you to maintain a better relationship and make you a better role model for your kids.  You may not even know what kind of woman you really want until you’ve had some experience dating.  The confidence and social skills you build leaning to be good with women will help you in all areas of your life.
  • 4. Why Do You Need This Stuff?....  Being a failure with women is being a failure at one of your core purposes and can leave a dark cloud hanging over all of your other accomplishments.  Being good with women is fun.  Being back with women sucks  Become Good with women
  • 5. How Most Guys Are  Has a scarcity mentality, and thinks that the one girl he likes is the only one he could ever have a real connection with.  Place women on a pedestal.  Blames his lack of success with women on not having money or looks.  Weak sense of reality and fears rejection.
  • 6. How Most Guys Are…….  Makes excuses for his natural desires.  Attaches too much meaning to his interactions with girls.  Tries to logically persuade women into liking hi and has no idea how to get an emotional response.  Tries to impress and please people.  Radiates neediness and insecurity.  Sells himself short and makes himself to available
  • 7. Shift in Thinking: Men Don’t Need Money or Looks  Believe it or not money and looks are “logical” entities  Social conditioning dictates that these things are attractive, which gives some of the guys who have them the CONFIDENCE to act attractively around women.  This leads guys to wrongly deduce “it must be his money or looks.”  What a woman responds to are her EMOTIONS.  To be attractive to women, they must feel an emotional response to you.  That comes from confidence, humor, social skills, dominance, charisma, being different and unpredictable, etc..
  • 8. Shift In Thinking: You Can Learn To Be Good With Women Just Like Any Other Skill (continued)  The world is your pickup lab.  All rejection is feedback.  Take nothing personally. The same girl who rejected you probably would have like you if you’d conveyed your personality more attractively.
  • 9. Shift In Thinking: You Can Learn To Be Good With Women Just Like Any Other Skill (continued)  Think long term and go after the skill: be process oriented not outcome oriented.  Progressively desensitize yourself to being around women and taking the lead.  It’s just socializing. Socializing is 100% normal.  Small chunk all learnings every night.
  • 10. Shift In Thinking: Women Who Have Sex With You Are Not All Sluts  The best way to get the girl you want is to have sex with her as soon as possible  Women want a man who knows he wants and how to get it.  She usually won’t help you do this. She wants you to figure it out for yourself.  Sometimes guys will wait to have sex with the girls they really like because they feel like they have sex too quickly that it will wreck the future relationship.
  • 11. Nerd Thinking  “ I can learn the magic lines to get women, jump out of the shadows, get one, and take her back to my nerdlair.”  “This is too scary. I want the magic pill.”  “I’ve never accomplished anything in my life, I don’t like myself, and yet I can’t understand why I’m not good at this.”
  • 12. Cool Guy Thinking  I will build confidence and social skills over a period of time.  I will be a naturally attractive guy.  I will become a better person for women to be with, inside and out.  I will commit to stepping out of my comfort zone and getting myself out there.  I don’t view this as work anyway. It’s fun
  • 13. How Do you Get Good With Women?  Commit to going out x-nights per week.  Commit to starting conversations with x-number of women.  You learn how to open conversations with anyone.  You learn to keep the conversation going.
  • 14. How Do you Get Good With Women?  You learn to ask for a number.  You learn to work the phone.  You learn to do a “day 2” (a date).  You learn to bring a girl home.
  • 15. How do you get Good with Women..  You learn to physically escalate.  All the while you learn about your body language, her body language, confidence, humor, charisma, and sexual tension.  When you start out pick a default way to start conversations, hook attention, create a vibe, get physical comfort, ask for a number, and move to another venue.  That way you have no excuses to sit there when you see a girl you want to meet.
  • 16. About Clubs  Clubs have the number of girls that you need to practice  Clubs have the number of girls that you need to hit state.  Clubs make daytime seem easy.  Learn attitudes and styles of interactions of social people.
  • 17. About Clubs….  Learn to hold court  Learn to befriend large groups of people  Learn to handle social pressure  Learn to out-alpha guys  Learn to handle funny logistical puzzles
  • 18. If you can’t do clubs  Some guys can’t do clubs because they have a lifestyle or occupation that makes it inconvenient or impossible.  If so, you must find any social gathering where you can meet women easily.  That varies from city to city, but wherever you are go out and find where meeting large numbers of women is realistic so that you can practice.
  • 19. Confidence  Voice  Eye Contact  Body Language  Touch  Social Skills  Not Putting up with nonsense
  • 20. Female Psychology  Social conditioning  Lack of accountability  Girls as choosers (sort of)  Change her mood not her mind  Girls live in the emotion of the moment and backwards rationalize (we do too, but more in other areas)  Congruence tests
  • 21. Female Psychology…..  Secret Society (there’s a double standard for one type of guy to another)  Girl eye code (so as to not feel slutty and ratify feelings)  Why girls are drawn to clubs subconsciously  Clubs as a revalidation venue and blow off steam venue… On some level, girls going there wanting to meet a cool guy.  Dancing as sexual exhibitionism.
  • 22. Female Psychology  Some girls are screwed up (just like some guys) because they learned from their family that fighting is a precursor to love.  Value matrix: they want men to fall in love with them, they dance for hours, coquette, style themselves, read Cosmo strategy guides, hold out sex with boyfriends, make their boyfriends jealous to generate emotions.
  • 23. Congruence Test  Sometimes people will try to force you into a submissive role that isn’t really who you are.  This can happen often in environments where people are drunk or with girls who are used to guys putting them on a pedestal.
  • 24. Congruence Test….  Examples of that could be:   When a guy says, “Show me how cool you are!”  When a girl just met says, “buy me a drink.”  When someone who wouldn’t reciprocate says, “Go to the store and et me some food.”  When a girl you just me says, “Is that a pickup line?” or you’re a jerk!”  When that happens, answering logically means that you buy into that frame.
  • 25. Congruence Test….  Instead of responding logically, your strongest responses are: 1. To answer straightforwardly, but be visibly emotionally unaffected by what they’re trying to do. 2. To not answer at all as if what they said was too far outside of your reality to process. 3. To cut their thread off by not responding and asserting a new topic of conversation 4. To answer in the way they want but make them wait. 5. To answer almost in the way they want but do something funny that’s slightly different.
  • 26. Congruence Test….  To jokingly call them out for trying to step up.  To joke that what they said is playing up to earlier observations you made of them.  To joke that they’re too strong for you to handle and that they win  To answer with something equally random and absurd as the role they’re asserting.  To answer cryptically and make them guess what you mean.
  • 27. Congruence Test….  To answer their question or do what they ask, but make them do something first.  To jokingly imitate them.  To give them a weird look  To ignore them entirely.
  • 28. Congruence Test….  To playfully misinterpret what they said, jokingly suggesting that:  They tried to compliment you.  They tried to impress you  They tried to come on to you.  They were kidding and trying to entertain or help you.  They said something funny and weird that they didn’t mean to say.  They mumbled and you couldn’t hear them (making them repeat themselves).  This kind of frame control can be one of the most severely misunderstood aspects of social dynamics. It’s something that’s to be used sparingly otherwise it immediately comes across as obnoxious overcompensation. 
  • 29. Elements of Good Pickup  Don’t get stuck inside your memorizing a structure.  Go with the flow  Any solid pick up has the following elements:
  • 30. Elements of Good Pickup  Open  Hook  Touch  Vibe  Qualify  Number  Venue Change  Sex
  • 31. Winging  Accomplishment intro, or Joke merge, or swap out.  Joking around with your friends and inside jokes.  Body language towards your wing.  Getting your wing in with a 2set “my friend is bored”  2-set dynamics with 2 on 2 approaches  You and your friend tooling each other as a joke to demonstrate value
  • 32. Open  Warm versus cold approaches  Working the room versus sticking to one girl  No eye contact is necessary.. “You just appeared”  Get attention (tap on shoulder if she’s not facing you)  Establish dominance with your eye contact and voice.
  • 33. Open  Keep talking until they open up…. “No way out”  Structure opportunities to help them to talk.  If girls ask you questions don’t let them take over and tool you  If girls are seated then preferably either stand them up or sit down.  Handling a rough landing with breaking rapport, pacing and humor.
  • 34. Open…  Getting comfortable so you can work.  Engaging late comers (don’t go backwards, but engage them quickly)  Reinitiating lost or interrupted approaches  Determining the relationships within the group  Getting alone time with the girl.
  • 35. Open….  Approaching girls facing the bar  Approaching girls on the move  Approaching girls at a table (Is a seat available? Is a purse on the seat?)  Approaching girls alone who wants to find her friends  Approaching mixed (guy/girl) groups.
  • 36. Hook  Future Adventure Projection (FAPs)  Roleplaying  Conspiracies  Busting them on their mannerisms  Misinterpretation  Push/Pull
  • 37. Hook…  Elastic band snapback effect  Disqualification  Pimp Talk  Qualifying and Challenging  Silly games  Imitating them or other people.
  • 38. Touch..  Pinging  Tickling  Teaching something physical in nature (very seductive)  Wrestling  Moving her around  Neck Biting  Poking  Slow Down Speaking  High-fiving  Hair Pulling
  • 39. Touch..  Get closer  Triangular gazing  Back scratching  Smelling hair  Kissing
  • 40. Vibing  Be playful  Tell funny or interesting stories  Teach her funny things  Ask her questions and misinterpret her answers  Deep and wide rapport
  • 41. Vibing..  Make her want to find out more about you  Vibing versus giving advice or having a set purpose  Essence of nerds  Building energy in the interaction  Knowing when to pipe in and understanding hierarchies
  • 42. Qualification  Having a standard of what you’ll respond to so she wants to impress  Curiosity frame  Commonalities  Understanding and demonstrating authority in her world.  Teaching her things that make her feel closer to you.
  • 43. Qualification..  Qualification and how it makes you showing interest OK  Psychology behind qualification  Qualifying and then backpeddling  Using the emotionally unexplained
  • 44. Qualification  Showing her unique value to you  Giving your criteria and having her try to reach it  Misdirection  A good vibe is truly the best and most natural qualifier
  • 45. Phone Number  Let’s hang out later. Get you your phone. Here’s my number. Call me so I have your number.”  “You know what? You’re drunk aren’t you? I like you and would have called you, but you’re too drunk and you’ll forget about me. Are you drunk right now? If I call you, will you remember me?”
  • 46. Venue Changing  Rule: OVERHYPE WHEREEVER YOU’RE GOING  Meet your friends  Meet new people in the club  Take her to dance
  • 47. Venue Changing..  Take her to get a drink (water is good)  See different parts of the club  Checking out a different venue  Go to after party
  • 48. Venue Changing….  Go to eat  Go back to your house (give fun/interesting reason)  Go back to your room (give fun/interesting/nonchalant reason)  Get on your bed (give/fun/interesting/nonchalant/commanding reason)
  • 49. SEX  Slow escalation  Wash rinse repeat  Teasing by moving forward and pulling away  Not arguing with token resistance  Dominance  Stopping and joking around to make it not a big deal  Playing hard to get  Going for it when it’s right
  • 50. Phone  When you call a girl you might feel apprehensive because you don’t want to lose the validation of her like you previously.  Realize that regardless of her reaction, it doesn’t devalidate that you need a great approach.  Also realize that she may have like you in the moment but could have a million reasons not to see you again (boyfriend, too inconvenient, etc..)  The other reason you might feel apprehension is because you can’t read her body language or see what she’s thinking like you can face to face.
  • 51. Phone..  That goes away with practice.  You never know which girls will call you back.  If you have trouble on the phone you can use what you talked about on your last call to get your mouth moving.  Sometimes it’s not a bad idea to just call and chat without suggesting a meet.  Through trial-and-error, you will eventually get a sense for when a girl is up for a second meet up, and you’ll know when it suggest it.  Use the numbers of girls who don’t like you to work on your conversation skills.
  • 52. Phone…….  Take time out every one in a while to call all your numbers.  It’s not a bad idea to keep your computer near by and have a brief ledger of each girl and what you talked about.
  • 53. Day 2  Bring her somewhere you enjoy  Draw her into your world. Make it cool.  A day 2 should be casual, and if you can do something fun that doesn’t involve money then all the better.  It’s OK if she brings her friends.  It’s OK if you bring your friends.  It’s a great idea to bring her to your house, then leave, and come back later.  Have a repeatable plan that works for you
  • 54. Personality  Nice guy: Too supplicating.  Macho Guy: Too arrogant.  Both are coming from a place of reaction and overcompensation.  Good guy: A good mix between the two. You have a strong sense of who you are.
  • 55. Implementing a Habit  Realize you’re not cut from a different cloth.  You might not be that smart, but other people aren’t that smart either.  What one man can do, another man can do.  Don’t wait for a girl to dump you. That is reactive.  Be proactive and create the habit before the problem occurs
  • 56. Implementing a Habit  1- Get an idea of what you want  2- Formulate a plan of how often you need to show up to get there.  3- Accept that your new activity is a part of your life for the duration of the time you’ve decided, and never decide based on emotions if you’re going to show up or not. Just show up.
  • 57. Implementing a Habit  4-Don’t worry if you’re getting results, just stick to the plan with blind faith, and make your criteria for success just to show up.  5- Make it a hobby, look at the details critically without taking advice dogmatically, and take the initiative to shift the focus of your training when your intuition tells you that it might help.