The Sanderson Apocalypse – Chapter 6
Welcome to the sixth installment of the Sanderson Apocalypse.
So far, we’ve reached generation 5 and, storywise, we only have
16 or so restrictions left (it’s hard to count when my sheet is
filled with the current restrictions that have been lifted being
ticked off). What we have left to life is Dance, Entertainment,
Intelligence*, Oceanography, Gamer*, Journalism*, Showbiz Pet,
Service Pet*, Business*, Law Enforcement*, Life of Crime*,
Science*, Artist*, Paranormal*, Show Business* and Alien
Technology*. The asterisk points out which restrictions are
covered by a member of the family who has either already lifted
said restriction or is going to do so in their lifetime.
Anyways, we just ended the last chapter at the point where
Delilah Sanderson, the first child of generation 5, was born and
her father and heir Kurt had managed to lift Music and free the
world from the apocalyptic ice age.
“You did a stellar job at spinning out that poop machine, Di.”
“Thanks Dawn. I guess, since it’s Sunday, Comb has sent you
home to collect the money. We left a cheque in the mailbox for
“No need, bra; I have some totally epic news for everyone. Guys,
listen up; Dawn’s gonna talk now!”
Everybody, my story begins like this: About two weeks ago, I
managed to finally take up my secured position as con woman
with the Comb mafia family. As you know, the famjam they run
is lead by Joseph “Joey” Comb Sr., father of my husband Joseph
Comb II. His wife Sofia was sitting ever so elegantly on the three
tile stage they had constructed just to make themselves feel
grander while Joey Sr.’s brother, Rock Comb, stood next to her in
silence. Her brother, Tony “Slim Tony” Slimsdale had taken a
chair from the dining room and had his foot propped up on it.
We were all discussing our next plans of action to improve profit
when Jr. piped up and asked, “Dad, why are we preventing
people from purchasing luxury items? With hope having been
restored by Dawn’s great-grandmother, people are just dying to
have everything they once knew. We could be making billions off
of those old dresses and that old furniture in storage.”
Sr. stared down at his son in anger, but his complexion
brightened as he eyed me, “What do ya think about my boy’s
“Well, uh, sir…”
The senior employees began to gather around us like vultures.
“‘Well, uh, sir…’. Now that’s a great response, innit Sofia? I
always thought you could come up with better than that, Dawny.
We need action in order to make profit, not dimwitted responses
to my questions.”
I broke down…
“Well, as I was going to say, Joey, we should be selling bootleg
merchandise at extraordinarily high prices. It doesn’t even need
to be the real deal; we can make cheap knockoffs that will cost
us no less than a couple bucks an item. Ten cents to make a
fedora, 250 simoleans in return. We could be richer than we
already are dude!”
Joey was taken aback by my statement, “Well, er… uh…”
I giggled, “Now that’s a great response, isn’t it Joey?”
Everyone in the room was in hysterics until Joey shouted,
We all stopped.
“Dawn, as our resident con artist, you’ll be in charge of creating
the knock offs and organizing sales to the poor schmucks. If this
manages to work, you could be seeing a few hefty promotions
comin’ your way.”
“It’s an honour, dude.”
“Same to you, uh…”
When the plan went off without a hitch, Joey came through with
his promise. I had been promoted up to the level of Cat Burglar
(again, sorry guys about stealing the fridge last Friday) and every
day my performance scores were through the roof.
Joey Jr. and I were given a small wedding that only his family
could attend. Joey Sr. said that inviting you guys would cause
too much attention for the world and great-grandma’s laws would
begin to be ignored.
But not everything was going as chill as we thought. A few hours
before I headed off on my assignment on the docks to smuggle
our merchandise from across the ocean, I heard the distinct
crying of Joey Comb Sr. from upstairs in his office. It was
strange; I never thought that guy could muster up any tears. I
stayed downstairs and listened to him before my ride came to
pick me up.
Between the sobs, I could hear him saying to himself, “Damnit,
Comb, that girl is just too good. She’s way better than you ever
were. Hell, she’s even tripled profits…”
A horn honked from outside our warehouse. I got up and walked
to the door. As I turned the knob, I waited in case I could hear
The car honked even louder. I rushed outside and into my seat.
As we sped off into the night, I heard the distinctive blow of gun
powder exploding in the distance.
It was a clean shot. Joseph Comb Sr. was dead.
I arrived home at eight in the morning ready to tell the family
that my mission was accomplished. By definition, I could now
label myself as a Criminal Mastermind.
But no one was outside to greet me. I took the long trek up into
Jr. sat limply beside the lifeless body of his father. He stared
vacantly at the bloody stains on the hardwood floor trying to
make sense of it all.
Slim Tony was the first one to find the two Joeys upstairs.
“Is everything alright- OH MY GOD!”
“Joey, get your pa up onto the stage while I alert the others.”
Tony rushed everyone into the office. That is, except for Sofia
who couldn’t rush due to her pregnancy.
But instead of placing one of the Senior members into Sr.’s seat,
he placed me.
“So what do we do now, boss?” Tony asked me.
“Well, we can start by discussing a few changes around here.”
“Well, first of all dudes and dudette, none of you are going to
have jobs here anymore.”
Joey Jr. looked at me in shock, “Honey, but why?”
“Because I’m the only one who’s actually done anything criminal
in my lifetime. I’m sorry, but I can’t have two hardened old men,
a pregnant lady who’s lost her seductive touch and an innocent
boy whose too sensitive to cause any harm. It’s just better if I’m
the only one living the life of crime, now.”
“You little slut!” Sofia called out at me, “You decided to seduce
my son, marry into my family and then take over once my
husband had died, didn’t you? That must have been your plan all
along you Sanderson brat!”
“Bra, please calm down. It isn’t healthy for your kidlet.”
“How dare you speak to me in such a manner, I’ll-“
Sofia was cut of and, for once in his lifetime, Rock decided to
“Sofia, maybe this is for the best. It’s not like we’re being kicked
out of the house. And besides, we can all live in luxury now;
there’s no need to fight her changes.”
“I… I guess. I just miss Joey so much.”
“Alright, meeting adjourned.”
Dawn waited for the entire family to leave her office.
Death came and took Joey’s body away and had replaced it with
“Was this supposed to happen, man? Was Joey supposed to
“DAWN SANDERSON, EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IS MEANT
TO BE. YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER BECOME A CRIMINAL
MASTERMIND WITHOUT JOSEPH COMB SR. PASSING AWAY.
TODAY IS A DAY TO BE PROUD. ALERT YOUR FAMILY ABOUT
THE NEWS. I MUST BE OFF.”
“You know Grimmy, I sometimes wish I worked in the Paranormal
field so we could chill some time.”
A couple months later, I gave birth to my son, Joseph “Joey”
Comb III. I feel that it’s necessary to let his grandfather’s legacy
live on, even though his grandfather pretty well got our family to
do whatever he wanted. It’s for the best.
Meanwhile, at Crescent College…
“You know Ray, you really are cute.”
“Ya think so, mate?”
“Yeah. I’m so glad that we’re dating.”
“Whoa, hold that shrimp on the barbie, Lawrence. We aren’t
dating. Sex ain’t dating and it neva was.”
“I’ll call ya sometime if I ever need a late night hook up.”
Ray Shibata began to leave the Sanderson College House, but
Lawrence ran after him.
“Wait!” Lawrence shouted.
Lawrence planted his lips on Ray’s.
“I love you.”
“Mate, that’s nice and all, but-“
“I don’t love you, Lawrence. It just isn’t gonna work out.”
Ray, what you did was complete bull. I know that you love him
as much as he loves you.
“But Creator, it’s not gonna work out between him and I. Same-
sex marriage isn’t legal in Beauville.”
Yes it is, dumbass. I installed that hack years ago.
“But, we’d be the first-“
Christine and Marie Maaza-Sanderson were the first in this
neighbourhood. Just get together with him or I swear you’re
going to be eaten by a cowplant.
“Ray, what the hell are you doing here?”
“Uh, listen my good bloke, contrary to what I said earlier, I’d love
to be your boyfriend.”
“Can… can we adopt children?”
Same-sex pregnancy hack.
“Ray… will… will you give birth to my children?”
“Sure, Lawrence my honey-snookie-snookums.”
And they’re going to live happily ever after. Mind you, in my
current rotation I still need to play them in the house that they
share with Fiona and her husband and the kids the two couples
have popped. I’m gonna play once this is out and I’m done my
With that little plotline out of the way, it was time for graduation
in the Sanderson College House.
In the back from left to right, we have Lawrence Sanderson (G4,
Spare), Nicole Sanderson (G4, Christine Sanderson’s eldest) and
Fiona Sanderson (G4, Spare). In the front in the same order, we
have the twins Leslie and Shea Sanderson (G3, Steven
Because of that, we can now welcome our next 4 household
members. From left to right, Penelope Sanderson (G4, Spare),
Zachary Sanderson (G4, Spare), Ramone Carlson (G3, Clark’s
Only), and Beau Sanderson (G4, Spare).
So now we can see the lovely outfits that were picked by the
Back at the main house…
“Should we prepare a few more restriction lifters, Di?”
“I believe we should, Kurt.”
Oh horny knowledge sims.
So anyways, on the first day of this new rotation, Diane was
heading off to work for her final promotion in the Natural Science
… which she of course achieved. So meet the newest member of
the family, Fluffy. Isn’t she just precious?
Time flew by and it was time to celebrate Delilah’s transition to
As an added note, I’ve already decided that she won’t be the heir.
Because every heir for me so far has had the founder’s nose, I’m
going to keep it that way. And yes, I know there will be a child
that has the founder’s nose… I’ve played it.
“Mama, did you eat the kitty ashes and get big?”
As you can see, Diane is once against pregnant. This one’ll be a
“Calm down, Fluffy. I’m delivering a letter to the townie homes
about free cake. You’ll be fed soon enough.”
Diane, you’re evil.
“You’re the one that adds them to the family and feeds them to
“Why, hello there little guy- HEY, CREATOR! Can I feed dogs to
“Alright, alright. I’m going to name you Tucker and you can help
lift a restriction for this family.”
“Get your sticky hands off me, bloated monkey.”
You’re gonna lift the Security Pet career :-3
“Must. Escape. Now!”
You’re a funny little guy, aren’t you?
“Are all these creatures stupid or something?”
“No, Delilah, don’t choke the dog!”
“Teehee, why not grandpa?”
“Because then we have to wait another generation for another
spouse to move in a pet.”
“Oh…I ated the kitty ashes.”
“…*sniff*… Moonshine was my best friend…”
“Damnit, Diane. You better not give birth to another devil child
like this one here!”
“Joe, just because she has red hair-“
“She ate my cat’s ashes!”
Fluffy, I know that it takes a while, but just wait for some food,
“Hey, Rocky- I mean Kat. Why are we posing?”
“I don’t know.”
Wait.. what? They were supposed to pass away. Freaking visual
glitches. I was prepared to give a eulogy for you guys and
Elsewhere, at the home of Fiona and Lawrence.
“I’m off to work.”
Just to fill you guys in here, Fiona lives on one side of the house
with her husband Professor Jess Jordan and her son Eric Jordan
while Lawrence lives on the other side with his husband Ray
Shibata and their daughter Anne Shibata.
As you can see, the twins shot right up in their respective
Eventually, they became the Captain Hero and Media Magnate of
Beauville and the rest of the world.
That’s two more restrictions done :D
Over at the first spare house…
“YOUR TIME HAS COME, CHRISTINE SANDERSON-MAAZA.”
“Stop shouting, Grim; I want my eardrums in tact when I’m dead.”
Back at the Sanderson College Household…
“You know Penny, even though you’ve said some hurtful things to
me in the past, I want you to know that I still love you.”
“That… that’s so sweet, Zach.”
“But if you ever touch me again, I’m breaking your hands. Got
“Hey baby, you know that one day you’ll be able to speak publicly
about woohooing a celebrity.”
“Really? Because I once sleep with Daniel Pleasant back in
“Well I’m Beau Sanderson, and you’re now in Beauville. Maybe
you too will be famous for sleeping with the namesakes of each
“Now get the hell out of my sight you tramp!”
“Whoa, anger issues much?”
Seriously Beau, not cool.
You don’t yell at people and call them names.
“Hey Creator, can I call this one a whore? I mean, she does work
as one, right?”
“I’m an accountant.”
Meanwhile- oh god damnit. Penelope, Ramone, you’re first
cousins once removed.
“But we love each other.”
ACR- Always Causing Regret
So, when these guys graduate, they aren’t getting a grad photo
because of how messed up they are. Beau is a womanizing
misogynist, Zachary is socially awkward and easily hated and
Penelope and Ramone are involved in an incestuous relationship.
Also, the next three Sandersons moved in. Meet Carter, Chloe
and Cooper Sanderson, the triplets of Christine and Marie.
Tucker, I just want this apocalypse over right now.
“I know; these monkeys are so strange.”
Tell me about it.
I think I know where Delilah gets it now…
“Mmm… soylent green.”
Fine, eat a random townie that comes by. I’m not feeding you
“Is this chapter over yet?”
Not until the twins are teenagers.
Your twin brothers.
Ryan is still going to be the heir no matter what. He’s just so
Katheleen, pick that baby up and make him a toddler…
Katheleen? Why aren’t you in my control?
“HELLO KATHELEEN, IT’S NICE TO SEE YOU.”
Oh, not now. Not here.
“COME AND JOIN YOU’RE YOUR ANCESTORS IN THE LAND OF
“Are my mother and grandmother there?”
“UH, YES. YOU SEE, I NEED YOU HERE RIGHT TO HELP ME FIX A
FEW THINGS. THAT GREEN CHILD WILL HAVE TO COME TOO
ONE DAY WHEN HE’S OLDER.”
“Are they fighting?”
“YES. IT’S A BIT MESSY, BUT I THINK YOU CAN SOLVE IT.”
“Grim, don’t leave me here with the stupid people, the cat eater,
the psychic dog and the alien!
So, anyways, here’s Levi Sanderson. Definitely he’s the only one
that can be the spare.
“This is stupid; I’m only alive to become a Game Designer. I want
to be in a different challenge.”
Too bad, mullet hair. You got stuck here.
“JOE CARR-SANDERSON, IT IS TIME!”
Goodbye Joe. You were the most awesome spouse ever. Mostly
because you were really close to lifting Athletic when you moved
in. I can’t believe you’re gone now…
Well, in this neighbourhood maybe. You will always be
regenerated in other places.
“Can I die too now?”
No, I need you to keep me sane for the rest of the challenge,
Tucker! By the way, thank you for lifting Pet Security. It’s really
“Ahh! A townie seeking revenge!”
“This is for killing me with that cowplant.”
“That wasn’t me. You want my mom; she’s upstairs somewhere.”
“Hey, Ryan, did you know that mom’s been killing the townies.”
“Yeah. Why else would we have those graves in front of Fluffy?”
“Wait, you knew??”
“It was kind of obvious.”
“Red monkey, I’ll give you a shiny quarter if you jump off the
“Tucker, don’t bark at me. I’m not a bad guy.”
“Damn, and I swallowed that quarter for nothing. Either way,
you’re getting a shiny new quarter.”
Alright, that was painful, I know, but this apocalypse is almost
over. I want to be done before school starts up so I have 4
weeks. I’m too lazy to open SimPe so you’ll find out personalities
next time. But here are the restrictions:
Unlocked: Hopelessness, Law, Medical, Culinary, Architecture,
Politics, Slacker, Military, Education, Athletic, Pet Service,
Adventure, Music, Life of Crime, Natural Science, Alien
Technology, Law Enforcement, Journalism, and Pet Security.
Will be Unlocked by the Next Chapter: Business, Show Business,
Someone has it filled: Artist, Gamer, Intelligence, and
Still Left Over: Dance, Entertainment, Pet Show Biz and
The G5 spouse is going to unlock Entertainment and will adopt
the Show Biz pet while the G6 heir unlocks Dance and their
spouse unlocks Oceanography. And then I’ll be done. That’s
about 9 more week long rotations. Wish me luck.