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Presented by Ray Williams
To The Vancouver Board of Trade
Leaders of Tomorrow
December 3, 2011

Copyright, Ray Williams

1
Copies of this presentation in PDF form will be available
from:

Articles and resources available from my website:
http://...
Housekeeping &Introductions

Copyright, Ray Williams

3
The Day’s Agenda
• Outcomes and structure
• Commitments
• Note taking and materials
• Refreshments and lunch
• Contact inf...
Change Your Mind Change Your Life©

Introductions

Copyright, Ray Williams

5
Change Your Mind Change Your Life©

Change Your Mind, Change Your
Life—What Does That Mean?

Copyright, Ray Williams

6
Change Your Mind Change Your Life©

What Are The Keys to a Successful
and Happy Life?

Copyright, Ray Williams

7
Change Your Mind Change Your Life©

What Are The Five Keys to a
Successful and Happy Life?
Key 1: Self -Awareness

Copyrig...
Change Your Mind Change Your Life©

What Are The Five Keys to a
Successful and Happy Life?
Key 2: Self-Management of Your
...
Change Your Mind Change Your Life©

What Are The Five Keys to a
Successful and Happy Life?
Key 3: Self-Actualization—
Mast...
Change Your Mind Change Your Life©

What Are The Five Keys to a
Successful and Happy Life?
Key 4: Mastering Your
Relations...
Change Your Mind Change Your Life©

What Are The Five Keys to a
Successful and Happy Life?
Key 5: Being committed to
somet...
Change Your Mind Change Your Life©

Mastering Self –Awareness:
Being On Purpose
Know what’s important to you—
What are you...
Values
Your values are those things to
which you have a strong
emotional commitment and that
which you value above other
t...
1.

2.
3.
4.
5.

Values:
Are a compass to help us navigate
through life
Can reflect moral and ethical principles
or not
He...
Value Distinctions

Copyright, Ray Williams

16
Copyright, Ray Williams

‹#›
Copyright, Ray Williams

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Copyright, Ray Williams

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Values Preference Indicator

Copyright, Ray Williams

20
Values Preference Indicator
Step 1: Rank the values from 1, most
important to 21 , least important, to
you in the present ...
Values Preference Indicator
Step 2: On page 4 score each value
against the others in each square, with
1 being most import...
Values Preference Indicator
Step 3: Transfer scores from page 4 to
page 5 for each value and total score
each square.

Cop...
Values Preference Indicator
Step 4: On page 7 write down write
down the top 10 values from the lowest
score to the highest...
Values Preference Indicator
Instructions

Step 5: On page 7, make your final list of
values in column 3, based on your rev...
What is YourPersonal
Style?

Copyright, Ray Williams

26
Working with Different People
 What are the characteristics of those individuals you

find easiest to work with? Why?
 W...
Personality Development Factors
Bio Physical
Influences
Self Worth
Levels

Personal Style
Preferences

Emotional
Anchors

...
Your Personal Style is your Natural
Predisposition Towards:
Time, People, Tasks and Situations.

Copyright, Ray Williams

...
Personal Style is the part of your personality
that does not change throughout life.

Copyright, Ray Williams

30
Personal Style: Main Concepts
 Everyone has all 4 personal style dimensions to

varying degrees
 Each style has strength...
Personal Style is not related to:
 IQ
 Morality
 Ability
 Health
 Appearance
 Culture

 Gender
 Family

Copyright,...
Copyright, Ray Williams

33
Personal Style Indicator





Not a test
No right or wrong answers
No better or worse results – just different
There i...
Personal Style Indicator
Score 4 as most like you and 1 the least like you
and 2 and 3 appropriately in between.

Copyrigh...
Transfer scores to pages 6 and 7Graph

B
C
I
A

Behavioural
Action
Cognitive
Analysis

Interpersonal
Harmony
Affective
Exp...
Style Flexibility
1 Dimension Over 40 =

2 Dimensions Over 40 =
3 Dimensions Over 40 =
4 Dimensions Even
Copyright, Ray Wi...
“B” Behavioral - Tendencies
 Facial expressions hard to read
 Does not show emotions easily or often
 Impatient with lo...
B – Behavioural / Action
Typical Strengths:

Common Difficulties:

•
•
•
•

•
•

Acts rapidly to get results
Driven to ach...
Behavioral Action
High Need For:
 Challenge
 Independence
 Power
 Responsibility
Copyright, Ray Williams

40
Behavioural Action
Respond Best To:
 Summarized facts
 Direct, honest confrontation
 Support for their goals
 People w...
―C‖ Cognitive - Tendencies
 Facial expressions - very obvious, frowning
 Shows anger quickly, tends to hold grudges
 Va...
C – Cognitive / Analysis
Typical Strengths:
• Acts cautiously to avoid errors
• Masterful at focusing on details
• Works t...
Cognitive Analysis
High Need For:
 Intimacy
 Organization
 Respect
 Safety
Copyright, Ray Williams

44
Cognitive Analysis
Respond Best To:
 Detailed information
 Respect for their opinion
 Systematic and proven

approaches...
―I‖ Interpersonal - Tendencies
 Facial expressions - small smiles, attentive
 Quiet, does not talk often or for long, sh...
I – Interpersonal / Harmony
Typical Strengths:

Common Difficulties:

•
•
•
•

•
•
•

Promotes harmony and balance
Reliabl...
Interpersonal Harmony
High Need For:
 Appreciation
 Harmony

 Loving Others
 Security
Copyright, Ray Williams

48
Interpersonal Harmony
Respond Best To:
 Appreciation for their efforts
 Non-threatening approaches

 Thoughtfulness for...
―A‖ Affective - Tendencies
 Facial expressions - big smiles, laughing

 Very verbal, talks to everyone, often loud
 Has...
Affective Expression
High Need For:
 Attention
 Acceptance
 Pleasure, play
 Recognition
Copyright, Ray Williams

51
Affective Expression
Respond Best To:
 Admiration for their

achievements
 Unstructured environments

 Affection and co...
A – Affective / Expressive
A – Affective / Expression
Typical Strengths:
 Accepting of others
 Intuitive problem solvers...
Read you style type descriptions on pages 7,
9, 11, and 18

Copyright, Ray Williams

54
Personal Style Exercise
 Discuss, as a group, your greatest Personal

style strengths.
 Discuss, as a group, your greate...
Either you control Your Personal Style or
Your Personal Style will control you!

Copyright, Ray Williams

56
Break

Copyright, Ray Williams

57
Is There A Major Formula To Success?

•Harry Potter

Copyright, Ray Williams

58
What is your definition
of success?

Copyright, Ray Williams

59
Copyright, Ray Williams

‹#›
Copyright, Ray Williams

‹#›
Success: My Definition
Success is being, doing, and having
what makes you happy and fulfilled
without doing harm to yourse...
The Success IQ Program: Traits
and Habits of Super Successful
People

Copyright, Ray Williams

63
What Do Successful People Do Differently?
A Partial List

1. They are clear about what is important to
them (values)

Copy...
What Do Successful People Do Differently?
2. They know how to amplify their personal
power by:
•
•
•

Focusing on their st...
What Do Successful People Do Differently?
3. Take 100% responsibility for their life:
•
•
•

Banish bad habits
Don’t act l...
What Do Successful People Do Differently?
4. : Have strong passionate beliefs:
•
•
•
•

Inspire themselves
Have a compelli...
Success
and
Happiness

Copyright, Ray Williams

68
What is Happiness?

Write down your definition of happiness
Recall the happiest time you’ve ever had in
life

Copyright, R...
Happiness Quiz
•Which of the following would significantly
increase your level of happiness?
1. An intimate
relationship
2...
What Determines
Happiness?

Choices
=40%

Genetics
=50%

Environment
=10%

Copyright, Ray Williams

71
Characteristics of
Happy People
1.
2.
3.
4.

They nurture relationships
They express gratitude frequently
They are altruis...
Characteristics of
Happy People (2)
5. They savor life’s pleasures and live in the
present
6. They are clear about their
v...
Resilience

Resilience and the ability to overcome
adversity and obstacles has been
positively correlated with greater
hap...
Overcoming Adversity:EsrefArmagan

Copyright, Ray Williams

75
EsrefArmagan’s Art

Copyright, Ray Williams

76
Overcoming Adversity: The Coalminer

Copyright, Ray Williams

77
Overcoming Adversity: The Renaissance Man

Copyright, Ray Williams

78
Stanley Camp, Hong Kong

Copyright, Ray Williams

79
Life As A POW

Copyright, Ray Williams

80
Copyright, Ray Williams

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Success and Failure
What is the relationship?

Copyright, Ray Williams

82
Copyright, Ray Williams

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Copyright, Ray Williams

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What can failure teach you?
Discuss

Copyright, Ray Williams

85
What can failure teach you?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

You always have choices
Humility
How to survive
How to learn
Accepting the law...
Success, Failure and Motivation
How do they relate to each other?

Copyright, Ray Williams

87
What does research tell us about motivation?

1. Extrinsic rewards (the carrot) or
punishment (the stick) reduces intrinsi...
What does research tell us about motivation?

2. True motivation boils down to three elements:
 autonomy (desire to direc...
What does research tell us about motivation?

3. While another person can inspire or influence
you, they cannot motivate y...
Lunch Break

Copyright, Ray Williams

91
Influence and Persuasion

Copyright, Ray Williams

92
The elements of influence and persuasion
1. Non-verbal communication and body
language
2. Rapport
3. Verbal and written la...
How are these people
demonstrating influence
and persuasion?

Copyright, Ray Williams

94
Body Position

Copyright, Ray Williams

95
Facial
Expressions

Copyright, Ray Williams

96
Greetings

Copyright, Ray Williams

97
Copyright, Ray Williams

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Copyright, Ray Williams

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Posture

Copyright, Ray Williams

100
Influence and Persuasion:
Research-1
1. Body movements are controlled by
unconscious mind, so non-verbal
messages are not ...
Influence and Persuasion:
Research-2

3. The conscious mind is more
influenced by words and the
unconscious by non-verbal
...
Influence and Persuasion:
Research-3

6. Your eyes are your most powerful nonverbal tool
• Dilated pupils seen as more
att...
Influence and Persuasion:
Research-4
8. Smiling is one of the most powerful
influence techniques. Fake smiles use only
the...
Influence and Persuasion:
Research-4
10. Posture: erect postures are positively
correlated with confidence, but difference...
Influence and Persuasion:
Research-5
13. Handshakes: The worst: wet fish, vise or
bone-crunch, finger tip, pump handle. Th...
Influence and Persuasion:
Magic Words
•
•
•
•
•

Because
Now
Imagine
Please and thank you
Any word that persuades the
othe...
Copyright, Ray Williams

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Copyright, Ray Williams

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Establishing Rapport
1.
2.
3.
4.

Mirroring and matching body language
Matching voice pitch, tone and pace
Active listenin...
Establishing Rapport
1.
2.
3.
4.

Mirroring and matching body language
Matching voice pitch, tone and pace
Active listenin...
Establishing Rapport

Practice

Copyright, Ray Williams

112
How to make a powerful first
impression

Copyright, Ray Williams

113
How to make a powerful first
impression

1. Open your attitude (positive mind
space)
2. Open your body language
3. Make ey...
How to make a powerful first
impression

6. Point your heart at the other
person
7. Extend handshake first
8. Lean forward...
Brain Research
Implications For Being
Successful in Today’s
World

Copyright, Ray Williams

116
100 billion neurons, 100
trillion connections

Copyright, Ray Williams

117
The brain's ability to reorganize itself by
forming new neural connections
throughout life. Neuroplasticity allows the
neu...
Your brain is
NOT like a
computer

Copyright, Ray Williams

119
Our brains are
basically
protective, and
defensive

Copyright, Ray Williams

120
Emotions
are powerful
brain
activities
that drive
our
decisions
and
behavior

Copyright, Ray Williams

121
Why Making Change is So Difficult

Copyright, Ray Williams

122
Copyright, Ray Williams

‹#›
Review

Copyright, Ray Williams

124
Break

Copyright, Ray Williams

125
Fundamental Principles for
Living a Healthy and Happy
Life

Copyright, Ray Williams

126
Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and
Happy Life

1. Take responsibility for every thing that
happens in your li...
The language of responsibility
Indicate R (Responsible) or V (Victim)
1. I’m depressed because I got laid off/fired.
2. My...
Copyright, Ray Williams

‹#›
Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and
Happy Life

2. The map is not the territory—everyone has a
different perce...
Copyright, Ray Williams

‹#›
Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and
Happy Life

3. Perception is projection--the behavior of
people that we re...
Copyright, Ray Williams

‹#›
Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and
Happy Life

4. Emotions are the key driver to choices
and decisions in lif...
Copyright, Ray Williams

‹#›
Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and
Happy Life

5. More analysis of past problems without
access to intuition ...
Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and
Happy Life

6. The unconscious mind is a more
powerful force than the cons...
Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and
Happy Life

7. The meaning of communication is what
you get back

Copyrigh...
Copyright, Ray Williams

‹#›
Review and Insights

Copyright, Ray Williams

140
Mastering your
life requires a
greater degree
of mindfulness

Copyright, Ray Williams

141
Are You Mindful?
1. I break or spill things, or bump into things
2. I run on automatic without being aware of what
I’m doi...
Are You Mindful?
6. I often think about the past or future

7. I eat without being conscious of what I’m eating
8. I often...
Definitions of Mindfulness?
“Paying attention in a particular way, on
purpose, in the present moment and nonjudgmentally”
...
Two Kinds of Interrelated Mindfulness
1. Formal mindfulness through
meditation
2. Informal everyday mindfulness during
all...
Key Elements of Mindfulness
1. Paying attention—focusing 100% of your
attention on what you are doing in that moment
2. Be...
Key Elements of Mindfulness
4. Beginner’s mind--observing the world, events
and people as if it were the first time you ha...
Key Elements of Mindfulness
6. Non-attachment—avoiding attaching meaning
to your thoughts and feelings, or connecting a
sp...
Key Elements of Mindfulness
7. Non-striving—the state of not doing anything,
but simply accepting that things are happenin...
Key Elements of Mindfulness
10. Open-heartedness and compassion—bringing
a quality of kindness, compassion, to our
experie...
Copyright, Ray Williams

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The Science Meditation

Copyright, Ray Williams

152
The Power of Meditation

Since 2002: Increased cognitive function, stress
reduction, creative thinking, increased compassi...
Copyright, Ray Williams

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Copyright, Ray Williams

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Copyright, Ray Williams

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Copyright, Ray Williams

157
Copyright, Ray Williams

158
“Dragon Tamer”
Amazon Books: http://ow.ly/7zSSZ

Copyright, Ray Williams

159
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Transcript of "Change Your Mind Change Your Life"

  1. 1. Presented by Ray Williams To The Vancouver Board of Trade Leaders of Tomorrow December 3, 2011 Copyright, Ray Williams 1
  2. 2. Copies of this presentation in PDF form will be available from: Articles and resources available from my website: http://raywilliams.ca Follow me on Twitter: @raybwilliams My books available on Amazon: http://amzn.to/rs7UXs and http://amzn.to/sDdlHQ Follow me on Financial Post: http://natpo.st/so1U32 Follow me on Psychology Today: http://bit.ly/cVqKRQ ©Copyright. For personal use only. May not be copied for distribution. Copyright, Ray Williams 2
  3. 3. Housekeeping &Introductions Copyright, Ray Williams 3
  4. 4. The Day’s Agenda • Outcomes and structure • Commitments • Note taking and materials • Refreshments and lunch • Contact information •Email: ray@raywilliamsassociates.com Copyright, Ray Williams 4
  5. 5. Change Your Mind Change Your Life© Introductions Copyright, Ray Williams 5
  6. 6. Change Your Mind Change Your Life© Change Your Mind, Change Your Life—What Does That Mean? Copyright, Ray Williams 6
  7. 7. Change Your Mind Change Your Life© What Are The Keys to a Successful and Happy Life? Copyright, Ray Williams 7
  8. 8. Change Your Mind Change Your Life© What Are The Five Keys to a Successful and Happy Life? Key 1: Self -Awareness Copyright, Ray Williams 8
  9. 9. Change Your Mind Change Your Life© What Are The Five Keys to a Successful and Happy Life? Key 2: Self-Management of Your Thinking and Emotions Copyright, Ray Williams 9
  10. 10. Change Your Mind Change Your Life© What Are The Five Keys to a Successful and Happy Life? Key 3: Self-Actualization— Mastering Successful Behaviors Copyright, Ray Williams 10
  11. 11. Change Your Mind Change Your Life© What Are The Five Keys to a Successful and Happy Life? Key 4: Mastering Your Relationships With Others Copyright, Ray Williams 11
  12. 12. Change Your Mind Change Your Life© What Are The Five Keys to a Successful and Happy Life? Key 5: Being committed to something bigger than yourself—making the world better Copyright, Ray Williams 12
  13. 13. Change Your Mind Change Your Life© Mastering Self –Awareness: Being On Purpose Know what’s important to you— What are your most important values? Copyright, Ray Williams 13
  14. 14. Values Your values are those things to which you have a strong emotional commitment and that which you value above other things. Copyright, Ray Williams 14
  15. 15. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Values: Are a compass to help us navigate through life Can reflect moral and ethical principles or not Helps you in making crucial decisions Can assist you in aligning your beliefs with your behavior Can strengthen the body-heart-mindspirit connection Copyright, Ray Williams 15
  16. 16. Value Distinctions Copyright, Ray Williams 16
  17. 17. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  18. 18. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  19. 19. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  20. 20. Values Preference Indicator Copyright, Ray Williams 20
  21. 21. Values Preference Indicator Step 1: Rank the values from 1, most important to 21 , least important, to you in the present time Copyright, Ray Williams 21
  22. 22. Values Preference Indicator Step 2: On page 4 score each value against the others in each square, with 1 being most important and 5 being the least important Copyright, Ray Williams 22
  23. 23. Values Preference Indicator Step 3: Transfer scores from page 4 to page 5 for each value and total score each square. Copyright, Ray Williams 23
  24. 24. Values Preference Indicator Step 4: On page 7 write down write down the top 10 values from the lowest score to the highest (lowest is 5, highest is 25) from page 5 Copyright, Ray Williams 24
  25. 25. Values Preference Indicator Instructions Step 5: On page 7, make your final list of values in column 3, based on your review of columns 1 and 2 STOP and await further instructions Copyright, Ray Williams 25
  26. 26. What is YourPersonal Style? Copyright, Ray Williams 26
  27. 27. Working with Different People  What are the characteristics of those individuals you find easiest to work with? Why?  What are the characteristics of those individuals you find the most difficult to work with? Why? Copyright, Ray Williams 27
  28. 28. Personality Development Factors Bio Physical Influences Self Worth Levels Personal Style Preferences Emotional Anchors Environmental Systems Social Teachers Copyright, Ray Williams 28
  29. 29. Your Personal Style is your Natural Predisposition Towards: Time, People, Tasks and Situations. Copyright, Ray Williams 29
  30. 30. Personal Style is the part of your personality that does not change throughout life. Copyright, Ray Williams 30
  31. 31. Personal Style: Main Concepts  Everyone has all 4 personal style dimensions to varying degrees  Each style has strengths and limitations  Our strongest preferences and needs are often our biggest blocks to developing ourselves  Personal Style is only one part of your Personality Copyright, Ray Williams 31
  32. 32. Personal Style is not related to:  IQ  Morality  Ability  Health  Appearance  Culture  Gender  Family Copyright, Ray Williams 32
  33. 33. Copyright, Ray Williams 33
  34. 34. Personal Style Indicator     Not a test No right or wrong answers No better or worse results – just different There is a right way to complete the assessment  Follow the instructions Copyright, Ray Williams 34
  35. 35. Personal Style Indicator Score 4 as most like you and 1 the least like you and 2 and 3 appropriately in between. Copyright, Ray Williams 35
  36. 36. Transfer scores to pages 6 and 7Graph B C I A Behavioural Action Cognitive Analysis Interpersonal Harmony Affective Expression 20 30 Copyright, Ray Williams 40 50 60 36
  37. 37. Style Flexibility 1 Dimension Over 40 = 2 Dimensions Over 40 = 3 Dimensions Over 40 = 4 Dimensions Even Copyright, Ray Williams = 37
  38. 38. “B” Behavioral - Tendencies  Facial expressions hard to read  Does not show emotions easily or often  Impatient with loss of time, delays  Energy experience: forceful, powerful, aloof  Very active physically, doing many things  Makes decisions quickly, no hesitation  Works hard, long hours - expects the same  Silent type, doesn’t talk much - expects the same Copyright, Ray Williams 38
  39. 39. B – Behavioural / Action Typical Strengths: Common Difficulties: • • • • • • Acts rapidly to get results Driven to achieve personal goals High endurance under stress Confident in positions of authority Copyright, Ray Williams • • Can be too forceful or impatient Can often think their way is best/only way Can be insensitive to needs of others Can often under-communicate with others 39
  40. 40. Behavioral Action High Need For:  Challenge  Independence  Power  Responsibility Copyright, Ray Williams 40
  41. 41. Behavioural Action Respond Best To:  Summarized facts  Direct, honest confrontation  Support for their goals  People who are efficient and effective in getting results Copyright, Ray Williams 41
  42. 42. ―C‖ Cognitive - Tendencies  Facial expressions - very obvious, frowning  Shows anger quickly, tends to hold grudges  Values being on time - expects the same  Energy experience - nervous, talks fast  Verbal challengers, critical, opinionated  Mentally active, very perceptive, “thinkers”  Works 9-5 and leaves for home  Loyal employees, good systems builders Copyright, Ray Williams 42
  43. 43. C – Cognitive / Analysis Typical Strengths: • Acts cautiously to avoid errors • Masterful at focusing on details • Works to ensure quality control • Critical observers with insightful perceptions Copyright, Ray Williams Common Difficulties: • Can get bogged down in details • Can be too critical or negative • Can be too controlling • Can be unrealistic in expectations of self/others 43
  44. 44. Cognitive Analysis High Need For:  Intimacy  Organization  Respect  Safety Copyright, Ray Williams 44
  45. 45. Cognitive Analysis Respond Best To:  Detailed information  Respect for their opinion  Systematic and proven approaches  Tasks done well and completely Copyright, Ray Williams 45
  46. 46. ―I‖ Interpersonal - Tendencies  Facial expressions - small smiles, attentive  Quiet, does not talk often or for long, shy  Very patient with others, forgiving  Energy experience: gentle, kind, calm, placid  Consistent workers, steady not fast  Gets very stressed in conflict situations  Doesn’t talk much but loves to listen to others  Makes decisions slowly, needs time Copyright, Ray Williams 46
  47. 47. I – Interpersonal / Harmony Typical Strengths: Common Difficulties: • • • • • • • Promotes harmony and balance Reliable and consistent workers Flexible to other’s needs Compassionate care-givers • Copyright, Ray Williams Can be too easy-going and trusting Can be taken advantage of Tend to take care of others rather than self Can become stubborn if unappreciated 47
  48. 48. Interpersonal Harmony High Need For:  Appreciation  Harmony  Loving Others  Security Copyright, Ray Williams 48
  49. 49. Interpersonal Harmony Respond Best To:  Appreciation for their efforts  Non-threatening approaches  Thoughtfulness for others  Honesty and trust Copyright, Ray Williams 49
  50. 50. ―A‖ Affective - Tendencies  Facial expressions - big smiles, laughing  Very verbal, talks to everyone, often loud  Has trouble keeping time commitments  Energy experience: creative, funny, upbeat  Lots of ideas for changing, improving  Over promises and under delivers  Has trouble focusing on one thing for long  Learns experientially, not auditory (ear) Copyright, Ray Williams 50
  51. 51. Affective Expression High Need For:  Attention  Acceptance  Pleasure, play  Recognition Copyright, Ray Williams 51
  52. 52. Affective Expression Respond Best To:  Admiration for their achievements  Unstructured environments  Affection and communication  Opportunities to creatively influence Copyright, Ray Williams 52
  53. 53. A – Affective / Expressive A – Affective / Expression Typical Strengths:  Accepting of others  Intuitive problem solvers  Creatively influences people  Excel at networking with others Copyright, Ray Williams Common Difficulties: • Can easily lose track of time • Can be unreliable in keeping promises • Can have a low commitment to detail • Can have a high need to be the centre of attention 53
  54. 54. Read you style type descriptions on pages 7, 9, 11, and 18 Copyright, Ray Williams 54
  55. 55. Personal Style Exercise  Discuss, as a group, your greatest Personal style strengths.  Discuss, as a group, your greatest Personal style challenges.  What do you need to do to improve your Personal and Business Effectiveness? Copyright, Ray Williams 55
  56. 56. Either you control Your Personal Style or Your Personal Style will control you! Copyright, Ray Williams 56
  57. 57. Break Copyright, Ray Williams 57
  58. 58. Is There A Major Formula To Success? •Harry Potter Copyright, Ray Williams 58
  59. 59. What is your definition of success? Copyright, Ray Williams 59
  60. 60. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  61. 61. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  62. 62. Success: My Definition Success is being, doing, and having what makes you happy and fulfilled without doing harm to yourself or others. It is the process of aligning meaning, emotion, spirituality, thought and action that is at the heart of success Copyright, Ray Williams 62
  63. 63. The Success IQ Program: Traits and Habits of Super Successful People Copyright, Ray Williams 63
  64. 64. What Do Successful People Do Differently? A Partial List 1. They are clear about what is important to them (values) Copyright, Ray Williams 64
  65. 65. What Do Successful People Do Differently? 2. They know how to amplify their personal power by: • • • Focusing on their strengths not weaknesses Managing energy not time Use both intentions and goals effectively Copyright, Ray Williams 65
  66. 66. What Do Successful People Do Differently? 3. Take 100% responsibility for their life: • • • Banish bad habits Don’t act like victims Are resilient Copyright, Ray Williams 66
  67. 67. What Do Successful People Do Differently? 4. : Have strong passionate beliefs: • • • • Inspire themselves Have a compelling vision Don’t follow the crowd Are action oriented Copyright, Ray Williams 67
  68. 68. Success and Happiness Copyright, Ray Williams 68
  69. 69. What is Happiness? Write down your definition of happiness Recall the happiest time you’ve ever had in life Copyright, Ray Williams 69
  70. 70. Happiness Quiz •Which of the following would significantly increase your level of happiness? 1. An intimate relationship 2. A better job 3. A better house 4. A more attractive spouse 5. A baby 6. Looking Younger 7. Being better looking 8. Losing weight Copyright, Ray Williams 9. Your child excelling at school 10. Cure from chronic illness or disability 11. More money 12 More time to do the things you want to do 70
  71. 71. What Determines Happiness? Choices =40% Genetics =50% Environment =10% Copyright, Ray Williams 71
  72. 72. Characteristics of Happy People 1. 2. 3. 4. They nurture relationships They express gratitude frequently They are altruistic The practice optimistic thinking Copyright, Ray Williams 72
  73. 73. Characteristics of Happy People (2) 5. They savor life’s pleasures and live in the present 6. They are clear about their values/purpose in life 7. They are resilient Copyright, Ray Williams 73
  74. 74. Resilience Resilience and the ability to overcome adversity and obstacles has been positively correlated with greater happiness and success. Copyright, Ray Williams 74
  75. 75. Overcoming Adversity:EsrefArmagan Copyright, Ray Williams 75
  76. 76. EsrefArmagan’s Art Copyright, Ray Williams 76
  77. 77. Overcoming Adversity: The Coalminer Copyright, Ray Williams 77
  78. 78. Overcoming Adversity: The Renaissance Man Copyright, Ray Williams 78
  79. 79. Stanley Camp, Hong Kong Copyright, Ray Williams 79
  80. 80. Life As A POW Copyright, Ray Williams 80
  81. 81. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  82. 82. Success and Failure What is the relationship? Copyright, Ray Williams 82
  83. 83. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  84. 84. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  85. 85. What can failure teach you? Discuss Copyright, Ray Williams 85
  86. 86. What can failure teach you? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. You always have choices Humility How to survive How to learn Accepting the laws of impermanence and entropy 6. Reframing your thinking of failure as experience and ―just is.‖ Copyright, Ray Williams 86
  87. 87. Success, Failure and Motivation How do they relate to each other? Copyright, Ray Williams 87
  88. 88. What does research tell us about motivation? 1. Extrinsic rewards (the carrot) or punishment (the stick) reduces intrinsic motivation, doesn’t lead to lasting behavior, and negatively affects performance (Kohn) Copyright, Ray Williams 88
  89. 89. What does research tell us about motivation? 2. True motivation boils down to three elements:  autonomy (desire to direct our own lives)  mastery (desire to continually improve at something that matters) purpose (the desire to do something larger than ourselves) Copyright, Ray Williams 89
  90. 90. What does research tell us about motivation? 3. While another person can inspire or influence you, they cannot motivate you. Only you can motivate you. Copyright, Ray Williams 90
  91. 91. Lunch Break Copyright, Ray Williams 91
  92. 92. Influence and Persuasion Copyright, Ray Williams 92
  93. 93. The elements of influence and persuasion 1. Non-verbal communication and body language 2. Rapport 3. Verbal and written language Copyright, Ray Williams 93
  94. 94. How are these people demonstrating influence and persuasion? Copyright, Ray Williams 94
  95. 95. Body Position Copyright, Ray Williams 95
  96. 96. Facial Expressions Copyright, Ray Williams 96
  97. 97. Greetings Copyright, Ray Williams 97
  98. 98. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  99. 99. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  100. 100. Posture Copyright, Ray Williams 100
  101. 101. Influence and Persuasion: Research-1 1. Body movements are controlled by unconscious mind, so non-verbal messages are not conscious 2. There is no direct correlation between personality and behaviors of unconscious and those of conscious mind unless you have been trained to be mindful and intentional Copyright, Ray Williams 101
  102. 102. Influence and Persuasion: Research-2 3. The conscious mind is more influenced by words and the unconscious by non-verbal 4. Non-verbal communication includes body language, facial expressions, movement, touch, distan ce, eye contact, voice characteristics. Verbal is spoken and written words 5. Women are more sensitive to body language than men Copyright, Ray Williams 102
  103. 103. Influence and Persuasion: Research-3 6. Your eyes are your most powerful nonverbal tool • Dilated pupils seen as more attractive than contracted • Increased blinking rate shows either anxiety/deception or lack of attention 7. Your face is the best communicator of emotions: >40 facial muscles for frown only 14 for smile Copyright, Ray Williams 103
  104. 104. Influence and Persuasion: Research-4 8. Smiling is one of the most powerful influence techniques. Fake smiles use only the mouth, real smiles use the eyes. Smiling is contagious and signals friendship and warmth, non-threat 8. Arm and hand gestures: Large and slow arm movements are more influential ; palms up hands are less threatening Copyright, Ray Williams 104
  105. 105. Influence and Persuasion: Research-4 10. Posture: erect postures are positively correlated with confidence, but differences according to visual, auditory, kinesthetic 11. Voice: includes tone, pitch, volume, tempo, emotion, clarity, vocabulary 12. Space: intimate: body to 18 inches; personal18 inches to 4 feet; social-12 feet and beyond Copyright, Ray Williams 105
  106. 106. Influence and Persuasion: Research-5 13. Handshakes: The worst: wet fish, vise or bone-crunch, finger tip, pump handle. The best—be on right side, eye contact pump only twice, hand on top for dominance 14. Rules for reading body language: • Read gestures in clusters • Look for congruence between words and body language • Read gestures in context Copyright, Ray Williams 106
  107. 107. Influence and Persuasion: Magic Words • • • • • Because Now Imagine Please and thank you Any word that persuades the other person they are in control • Dangerous Copyright, Ray Williams 107
  108. 108. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  109. 109. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  110. 110. Establishing Rapport 1. 2. 3. 4. Mirroring and matching body language Matching voice pitch, tone and pace Active listening Focus “over there” Copyright, Ray Williams 110
  111. 111. Establishing Rapport 1. 2. 3. 4. Mirroring and matching body language Matching voice pitch, tone and pace Active listening Focus “over there” Copyright, Ray Williams 111
  112. 112. Establishing Rapport Practice Copyright, Ray Williams 112
  113. 113. How to make a powerful first impression Copyright, Ray Williams 113
  114. 114. How to make a powerful first impression 1. Open your attitude (positive mind space) 2. Open your body language 3. Make eye contact real 4. Make real smile with eyes and mouth 5. Say hi or hello with pleasant tone and introduce yourself Copyright, Ray Williams 114
  115. 115. How to make a powerful first impression 6. Point your heart at the other person 7. Extend handshake first 8. Lean forward 9. Make open body gestures slow and deliberate 10.Stop talking, listen and watch other person’s body language Copyright, Ray Williams 115
  116. 116. Brain Research Implications For Being Successful in Today’s World Copyright, Ray Williams 116
  117. 117. 100 billion neurons, 100 trillion connections Copyright, Ray Williams 117
  118. 118. The brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. Neuroplasticity allows the neurons (nerve cells) to compensate for injury and disease and to adjust their activities in response to new situations or to changes in their environment. Neuroplasticity allows the brain to learn new things throughout life up until death. Copyright, Ray Williams 118
  119. 119. Your brain is NOT like a computer Copyright, Ray Williams 119
  120. 120. Our brains are basically protective, and defensive Copyright, Ray Williams 120
  121. 121. Emotions are powerful brain activities that drive our decisions and behavior Copyright, Ray Williams 121
  122. 122. Why Making Change is So Difficult Copyright, Ray Williams 122
  123. 123. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  124. 124. Review Copyright, Ray Williams 124
  125. 125. Break Copyright, Ray Williams 125
  126. 126. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life Copyright, Ray Williams 126
  127. 127. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life 1. Take responsibility for every thing that happens in your life: be at cause and not in effect. Don’t act like a victim or use victim language. Copyright, Ray Williams 127
  128. 128. The language of responsibility Indicate R (Responsible) or V (Victim) 1. I’m depressed because I got laid off/fired. 2. My relationship with my partner ended because he/she didn’t respect me 3. I was late because I lost track of time and had too many things to do 4. I did poorly on the exam because the professor is a bad teacher 5. I didn’t get the job because the employer wanted someone with more experience 6. I’m not good at ________ because I wasn’t born with those abilities Copyright, Ray Williams 128
  129. 129. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  130. 130. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life 2. The map is not the territory—everyone has a different perception of reality We really don’t know what reality is, we only know our own reality Copyright, Ray Williams 130
  131. 131. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  132. 132. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life 3. Perception is projection--the behavior of people that we react strongly (negatively and positively) are usually a projection of something inside ourselves Copyright, Ray Williams 132
  133. 133. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  134. 134. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life 4. Emotions are the key driver to choices and decisions in life, not logic and facts Copyright, Ray Williams 134
  135. 135. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  136. 136. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life 5. More analysis of past problems without access to intuition does not lead to better decisions Focusing on desired outcomes and behaviors is more effective than ruminating over past mistakes or problems Copyright, Ray Williams 136
  137. 137. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life 6. The unconscious mind is a more powerful force than the conscious mind unless you know how to access and control both Copyright, Ray Williams 137
  138. 138. Fundamental Principles for Living a Healthy and Happy Life 7. The meaning of communication is what you get back Copyright, Ray Williams 138
  139. 139. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  140. 140. Review and Insights Copyright, Ray Williams 140
  141. 141. Mastering your life requires a greater degree of mindfulness Copyright, Ray Williams 141
  142. 142. Are You Mindful? 1. I break or spill things, or bump into things 2. I run on automatic without being aware of what I’m doing 3. I rush through things 4. I get so focused on what I need to do next, I lose touch with what I’m doing now 5. I listen to someone with one ear, doing something else at the same time Copyright, Ray Williams 142
  143. 143. Are You Mindful? 6. I often think about the past or future 7. I eat without being conscious of what I’m eating 8. I often get lost in my thoughts or feelings 9. My mind wanders off and I’m easily distracted 10. I drive my car on automatic pilot without paying attention to where I am 11. I daydream or think of others things when doing my chores or routine life activities Copyright, Ray Williams 143
  144. 144. Definitions of Mindfulness? “Paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment and nonjudgmentally” “Bringing one’s complete attention to the present experience on a moment-to-moment basis with a quality of compassion, acceptance and loving kindness” “Being aware of your internal thinking, emotional and spiritual state while you are involved in external events” Copyright, Ray Williams 144
  145. 145. Two Kinds of Interrelated Mindfulness 1. Formal mindfulness through meditation 2. Informal everyday mindfulness during all activities Copyright, Ray Williams 145
  146. 146. Key Elements of Mindfulness 1. Paying attention—focusing 100% of your attention on what you are doing in that moment 2. Being in the present moment—being aware of how things are in present time, not in the past or thinking about the future 3. Being non-reactive—not reacting without considered reflection to events or people, but rather choosing how to respond Copyright, Ray Williams 146
  147. 147. Key Elements of Mindfulness 4. Beginner’s mind--observing the world, events and people as if it were the first time you have done so. This creates openness and curiosity 5. Acceptance—completely accepting the thoughts, feelings, sensations and beliefs that you have and understanding that they are those things only, they are not necessarily you (acceptance does not mean approval) Copyright, Ray Williams 147
  148. 148. Key Elements of Mindfulness 6. Non-attachment—avoiding attaching meaning to your thoughts and feelings, or connecting a specific thought to a feeling. Instead, let a thought or feeling come in and pass without connecting it anything, observing them as they are. Non attachment also means not being attached to your expectations which can result in unhappiness and suffering Copyright, Ray Williams 148
  149. 149. Key Elements of Mindfulness 7. Non-striving—the state of not doing anything, but simply accepting that things are happening in the moment as they are regardless of what you do. It just “is what it is. 8. Trust—having trust in your abilities, your intuition, your capacity to survive anything 9. Patience—cultivating the belief that all things develop in their own time, and nothing lasts forever (principle of impermanence) Copyright, Ray Williams 149
  150. 150. Key Elements of Mindfulness 10. Open-heartedness and compassion—bringing a quality of kindness, compassion, to our experiences, and not slipping into judgment and criticism Copyright, Ray Williams 150
  151. 151. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  152. 152. The Science Meditation Copyright, Ray Williams 152
  153. 153. The Power of Meditation Since 2002: Increased cognitive function, stress reduction, creative thinking, increased compassion Copyright, Ray Williams 153
  154. 154. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
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  156. 156. Copyright, Ray Williams ‹#›
  157. 157. Copyright, Ray Williams 157
  158. 158. Copyright, Ray Williams 158
  159. 159. “Dragon Tamer” Amazon Books: http://ow.ly/7zSSZ Copyright, Ray Williams 159
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