Meaning of communication is the response one gets.
A’s reality B’s reality Non verbal message A Verbal Message Intended meaning B Perceived meaning Shared space
Basic components of communication.
Mind of receiver
Mind of sender
Attitudes:beliefs,enforced by emotions
Non verbal messages
Send clear messages - make use of repetitions,select words carefully,time the message.
Provide feedback(positive feedback equals positive behaviour)
Change the conditions & consequenses
Observed behaviour (provide positive role models)
Provide opportunities for personal enrichment.
Attitudes are acquired from peers from personal experiences.
To change attitudes: Effect the consequences.
Four basic communication Styles.
Emotive (High dominance – High Sociability)
Displays action oriented behaviour
Director (High Dominance – Low Sociability)
Projects a serious attitude
Expresses strong opinions.
May project indifference.
Reflective (Low Dominance – Low Sociability)
Formal & deliberate
Supportive (Low Dominance – High Sociability)
Avoids the use of power
Decisions are made and expressed in a thoughtful and deliberate manner.
Attempt to alter your style to meet the needs of another person.
A temporary effort to act in harmony with another persons dominant communication style.
A form of communication that involves letting others know what you think,feel & want.
To improve accuracy of communication
An increased self awareness
Stronger healthier relationships
Criteria for developing Self disclosure.
Repair damaged relationships
Avoid judgmental attitude
Discuss situations as they happen
Accurately describe your feelings and emotions
Select proper time & place
Avoid over whelming others with self disclosure
Watch for non verbal clues.
Never allow Emotions to Pollute Thinking. You cant help the way you feel but you can control the way you act.
Tool to improve communications
Psychological ingredient is recognition.
Support from Mazlow
As each lower level need is satisfied, the need at next level demands attention.
Support from Skinner
Any living organism will tend to repeat a behaviour if that bhaviour is followed by a reinforce
Responding to Value judgements
Never accept doubts or criticism from others and even more important from yourself.
Criticism comes when sweeping,universal statements are made about specific,individual actions.
If some one says “That will never work”
Respond with “Never”? “Ever”? Nowhere in the world,Never in history….
If some one say :”That was really stupid” Acknowledge the value judgement and ask for exceptions.Respond with “While I admit that it might have looked stupid to you,out of all of it,what part of it wasn’t stupid? Ask for something positive .Or ask”Exactly,what made it look stupid to you?”
But & And.
But diminishes or erases that which preceds it ex: You idea is good But….
People move from positive to Negative
Positive ….But ……Negative
Negative ….But….. Positive
Others teach communication But this workshop is better.
If & When
If I reach my goal
When I reach my goal
Try the word is not bad but the emotion & usage is not good.
Barriers to Communication
Unwilling to change
Persons striving for their own preferred outcome,which if attained,prevents others from attaining their preferred out come which results in hostility and a break down in communications.
Anger is the form of communication that indicates a problem that needs to be addressed
Anger is common
Is form of communication
Happens every day
Anger & conflict must be acknowledged
Anger is healthy
Five ways to deal with anger
Causes of Conflict
Breakdown in Communication
Clash of Values
Clash of personalities
Assumptions of Win Win
People want to work out their problems
A solution is possible
People respect each others rights
People respect each others integrity
People respect each others capabilities
People share common goals.
Good communicator should always avoid Win/Lose & Lose/Lose situations
Neither of these are adequate solutions.
Always assume attitude of patience
Define the problem
Collect facts & opinions
Consider the facts
Define your expected results
Implement the selected solution.
Always seek to deal with issues, not with emotions.
Explore the difference
State what is important
Temporarily lift restrictions
Invite and suggest alternate choices
Acknowledge others right to differ
Explain decision and why.
Become an Active Listener.
What does listening mean to you…..
How do you respond
Response should be non judgemental
5 basic reasons we do not listen
Listening is hard work
The rush for action
Speed differences in the rate of speaking and understanding.
Lack of training
4 Types of listeners
The Non-Listener HEARING
The Marginal Listener
The Evaluative Listener
The Active Listener LISTENING
How to improve your listening skills?
Maintain eye contact with the instructor
Focus on content than on the way that it is being said.
Avoid selective listening
Ask questions to stay active and interested.
Face the speaker
Maintain eye contact
Respond appropriately – say yes, nod, etc.
Do not be preoccupied with your own thoughts.
Person who responds emotionally is not listening actively.
Person who allows emotions to interfere in response is saying “Listen to me –I know best.”
Be specific: Use three steps of Assertiveness.
Specificity is important for praise also.
No character or personality assassination
Offer a solution: Else it leaves other person frustrated, inefficient, deficient(include suggestions about how to take care of these problems)
Be present: Face to Face
Memo makes communication impersonal.
Be sensitive: Empathy- be attuned to the impact of what you say & how you say it on the person at the receiving end.