Not Yours Quick Reference Guide


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April 2013 I was asked to perform a group facilitation of cass workers, youth practitioners and adoptive and foster care parents for Adoptive and Foster Parent Association of Georgia AFPGs 40TH Jekyll Island Regional Training Conference 2013. My goal with the Not Yours session was to offer tips and strategies to youth helpers to help youth affected by sexual abuse, youth who have the potential to be sexual abused and youth who have the potential to be an abuser.

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Not Yours Quick Reference Guide

  1. 1. NOT YOURS Quick Reference Guide What is child sexual abuse? Facts and risks Any sexual act between an adult and a minor or between two minors when one exerts power over the other. � Forcing, coercing or persuading a child to engage in any type of sexual act. This, of course, includes sexual contact. It also includes non-contact acts such as exhibitionism, exposure to pornography, voyeurism and communicating in a sexual manner by phone or Internet. � An agonizing and traumatic experience for its victims. � A crime punishable by law. Noticeable behaviors • Nightmares, sleep problems, extreme fears without an obvious explanation • Sudden or unexplained personality changes; seems withdrawn, angry, moody, clingy, “checked-out” or shows significant changes in eating habits • An older child behaving like a younger child (for example, bedwetting or thumb-sucking) • Develops fear of certain places or resists being alone with an adult or young person for unknown reasons • Shows resistance to routine bathing, toileting or removing clothes even in appropriate situations • Play, writing, drawings or dreams of sexual or frightening images • Refuses to talk about a secret he or she has with an adult or older child • Stomach aches or illness, often with no identifiable reason • Leaves clues that seem likely to provoke a discussion about sexual issues • Uses new or adult words for body parts • Engages in adult-like sexual activities with toys, objects or other children • Develops special relationship with older friends that may include unexplained money, gifts or privileges Children who sexually interact Size: Is one of the children/teens involved much larger or stronger than the other? Status: Does one of the children/teens have more power in the relationship — for example, a babysitter, a club or team leader, a socially popular child who bullies others? Ability: Does one of the children/ teens have greater mental, emotional, or physical ability than the other? Is the possible victim disabled or developmentally delayed? Power: Is one of the children/teens using tricks, threats, bribes, or physical force? Resources and referrals Child Help USA National, confidential hotline offers support in response to all child abuse including referrals to counseling for child victims. 1.800.4ACHILD National Center for Victims of Crime Victim resources and referrals in a variety of areas: counseling, legal, medical and more. 1.800.FYI.TALK The National Children’s Alliance  2006-2013, Kingdom Fortunes. All rights reserved. Contact Rashid Brown 404-855-0739 for training solutions . Quick Reference Guide adapted from Stop It Now
  2. 2. • Intentionally harms himself or herself, for example, drug/alcohol use, cutting, burning, running away, sexual promiscuity • Becomes increasingly secretive around use of the Internet or cell phone • Develops physical symptoms such as unexplained soreness, pain or bruises around genital or mouth, sexually-transmitted disease, or pregnancy A national network of Child Advocacy Centers offers resources, referrals and information regarding the investigation process. Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) National phone number and website route to your closest Sex Assault Crisis Center offering resources for youth or teen survivors. 1.800.656.HOPE For adult survivors of child sexual abuse Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) National phone number and website route to your closest Sex Assault Crisis Center offering resources Watch adult behaviors for adult survivors. 1.800.656.HOPE Personal space Survivors of Incest Anonymous • Makes others uncomfortable by ignoring social, Call for complete listing of survivor support groups emotional or physical available nationwide. boundaries or limits? 410.893.3322 Relationships with children • Turns to a child for emotional or physical comfort by The Wounded Healer Journal sharing personal or private information or activities, normally shared with Variety of resources and recovery support for adult adults? survivors available through their website. • Has secret interactions with teens or children (e.g. games, sharing drugs, Male Survivor alcohol, or sexual material) or spends excessive time Education and advocacy organization for male emailing, text survivors of sexual abuse. Discussion boards, messaging or calling children or youth? support groups, referrals and more. • Insists on or manages to spend uninterrupted time 1.800.738.4181 alone with a child? • Seems “too good to be true, i.e. frequently babysits Black Sexual Abuse Survivors different children for Online support group for black, adult males and free; takes children on special outings alone; buys females who were sexually abused as children. children gifts or gives them money for no apparent reason? • Allows children or teens to consistently get away with inappropriate behaviors? Sexual conversation or behavior • Frequently points out sexual images or tells dirty or suggestive jokes with children present? • Exposes a child to adult sexual interactions or images without apparent concern? • Is overly interested in the sexuality of a particular child or teen (e.g., talks repeatedly about the child's developing body or interferes with normal teen dating)? If you attended the Not Yours seminar, let us hear from you: EVENT SATISFACTION SURVEY  2006-2013, Kingdom Fortunes. All rights reserved. Contact Rashid Brown 404-855-0739 for training solutions . Quick Reference Guide adapted from Stop It Now