Effective Listening Skills A Presentation by Rajiv Bajaj

Hearing & Listening Hearing refers to the perception of sound with the ear – a physical act Hearing is required but not sufficient for listening Listening is a lot more than hearing

Hearing refers to the perception of sound with the ear – a physical act

Hearing is required but not sufficient for listening

Listening is a lot more than hearing

Listening is a process that calls for concentration – it involves hearing with attention Poor listening is a major cause for miscommunication Listening involves sensing , filtering , and remembering

Listening is a process that calls for concentration – it involves hearing with attention

Poor listening is a major cause for miscommunication

Listening involves sensing , filtering , and remembering

How well we sense spoken words is determined by - (1) our ability to sense sounds; and (2) our attentiveness Filtering is the process of giving symbols meanings through the unique contents of each mind

How well we sense spoken words is determined by -

(1) our ability to sense sounds; and

(2) our attentiveness

Filtering is the process of giving symbols meanings through the unique contents of each mind

We sometimes give messages meanings different from the meanings others give them Remembering what we hear is part of the listening process Unfortunately, we retain very little of what we hear

We sometimes give messages meanings different from the meanings others give them

Remembering what we hear is part of the listening process

Unfortunately, we retain very little of what we hear

Types of Listening Passive Listening Inert or indifferent listening No conscious effort involved in receiving or absorbing the message Often stops at hearing - there is no effort to further process the message

Passive Listening

Inert or indifferent listening

No conscious effort involved in receiving or absorbing the message

Often stops at hearing - there is no effort to further process the message

Listener physically present but not participating actively in the process of communication Message not absorbed Listener may not remember and recall the message at a later stage

Listener physically present but not participating actively in the process of communication

Message not absorbed

Listener may not remember and recall the message at a later stage

Takes place when listener is constrained by various physiological and psychological factors May be tiredness, illness, disregard for the speaker or lack of interest in the subject Also happens when speaker fails to meet the listener’s wavelength

Takes place when listener is constrained by various physiological and psychological factors

May be tiredness, illness, disregard for the speaker or lack of interest in the subject

Also happens when speaker fails to meet the listener’s wavelength

Leads to misunderstandings for the communicator He / she would be under the impression that the receiver has grasped the message

Leads to misunderstandings for the communicator

He / she would be under the impression that the receiver has grasped the message

Selective Listening Refers to partial or selective listening – When people only listen to what they want to listen to The receiver keeps tuning in and tuning out

Selective Listening

Refers to partial or selective listening –

When people only listen to what they want to listen to

The receiver keeps tuning in and tuning out

Attention is not focused and the listener lets his mind wander Results in the message not being thoroughly processed Takes place when listener is not in a position to concentrate Or considers the speaker to be poorly informed on the subject etc

Attention is not focused and the listener lets his mind wander

Results in the message not being thoroughly processed

Takes place when listener is not in a position to concentrate

Or considers the speaker to be poorly informed on the subject etc

Active Listening Most desirable type of listening Listener makes a conscious effort to listen attentively; Decodes the message; and Absorbs it through a participative process

Active Listening

Most desirable type of listening

Listener makes a conscious effort to listen attentively;

Decodes the message; and

Absorbs it through a participative process

Receiver shows proper regard for the speaker; Concentrates on what is being conveyed; Interacts with the speaker; Shows empathy; and Makes it easy for the speaker to deliver the message in a meaningful manner

Receiver shows proper regard for the speaker;

Concentrates on what is being conveyed;

Interacts with the speaker;

Shows empathy; and

Makes it easy for the speaker to deliver the message in a meaningful manner

Means the ability to listen effectively When one listens actively, one not only comprehends the message; But also remembers and recalls it as and when required

Means the ability to listen effectively

When one listens actively, one not only comprehends the message;

But also remembers and recalls it as and when required

Barriers to Listening For listening to be effective, we must recognise and remove the barriers to listening These can be physical, physiological or psychological barriers - They may be people related or otherwise

For listening to be effective, we must recognise and remove the barriers to listening

These can be physical, physiological or psychological barriers -

They may be people related or otherwise

Physical Barriers These include – Low audibility levels, external noises and sounds Malfunctioning of audio devices Frequent interruptions, transmission failures etc

Physical Barriers

These include –

Low audibility levels, external noises and sounds

Malfunctioning of audio devices

Frequent interruptions, transmission failures etc

People Related Barriers 1. Physiological barriers – When speaker suffers from ill health, fatigue, sleeplessness, hearing disorders etc May also be because of the accent and pronunciation shortcomings of the speaker

People Related Barriers

1. Physiological barriers –

When speaker suffers from ill health, fatigue, sleeplessness, hearing disorders etc

May also be because of the accent and pronunciation shortcomings of the speaker

2. Psychological barriers – These are our values, beliefs, bias, likes & dislikes, attitudes Lack of credibility, past experiences, stereotyping, discomfort with the topic etc

2. Psychological barriers –

These are our values, beliefs, bias, likes & dislikes, attitudes

Lack of credibility, past experiences, stereotyping, discomfort with the topic etc

Improving our Listening Ability To improve your listening, you must want to improve it We human beings tend to avoid work, and listening may be work ! Be alert. Force yourself to pay attention Concentrate on improving your mental filtering

To improve your listening, you must want to improve it

We human beings tend to avoid work, and listening may be work !

Be alert. Force yourself to pay attention

Concentrate on improving your mental filtering

Think from the speaker’s viewpoint Consciously try to remember Importance of becoming a good listener cannot be over-stressed We are more influenced by what we hear than by what we read !

Think from the speaker’s viewpoint

Consciously try to remember

Importance of becoming a good listener cannot be over-stressed

We are more influenced by what we hear than by what we read !

The actual use of communication skills breaks down as follows: Writing 9% Reading 16% Speaking 30% Listening 45%

The actual use of communication skills breaks down as follows:

Writing 9%

Reading 16%

Speaking 30%

Listening 45%

Ironically, time spent learning these skills in school, is in a reverse order Time spent on the communication skill training in classroom is as follows: Reading 52% Writing 30% Speaking 10% Listening 8%

Ironically, time spent learning these skills in school, is in a reverse order

Time spent on the communication skill training in classroom is as follows:

Reading 52%

Writing 30%

Speaking 10%

Listening 8%

Ten Commandments Of Listening

1. Stop Talking ! Unfortunately, most of us prefer talking to listening Even when not talking, we are more inclined to concentrate on what to say next rather than on listening to others You must stop talking before you can listen

Unfortunately, most of us prefer talking to listening

Even when not talking, we are more inclined to concentrate on what to say next rather than on listening to others

You must stop talking before you can listen

2. Put the Talker at Ease If you make the talker feel at ease, he or she will do a better job of talking Then you will have better input to work with

If you make the talker feel at ease, he or she will do a better job of talking

Then you will have better input to work with

3. Show that you Want to Listen Convince the talker you are listening to understand rather than oppose This will help create a climate for information exchange Look and act interested Doing things like looking away, reading, looking at your watch etc distracts the talker

Convince the talker you are listening to understand rather than oppose

This will help create a climate for information exchange

Look and act interested

Doing things like looking away, reading, looking at your watch etc distracts the talker

4. Remove Distractions Things you do also can distract the talker Don’t – Doodle, tap or play with your pencil Shuffle papers Scratch your head etc

Things you do also can distract the talker

Don’t –

Doodle, tap or play with your pencil

Shuffle papers

Scratch your head etc

5. Empathise with the Talker Place yourself in the talker’s position Look at things from the talker’s point of view This will help create a climate of understanding that can result in a true exchange of information

Place yourself in the talker’s position

Look at things from the talker’s point of view

This will help create a climate of understanding that can result in a true exchange of information

6. Be Patient Allow the talker plenty of time Remember - not everyone can get to the point as quickly and clearly as you can And do not interrupt Interruptions are barriers to the exchange of information

Allow the talker plenty of time

Remember - not everyone can get to the point as quickly and clearly as you can

And do not interrupt

Interruptions are barriers to the exchange of information

7. Hold your Temper Anger impedes communication Angry people build walls between each other They harden their positions and block their minds to the words of others

Anger impedes communication

Angry people build walls between each other

They harden their positions and block their minds to the words of others

8. Avoid Arguments & Criticism Arguments and criticism tend to put the talker on the defensive They tend to clam up or get angry Thus, even if you win the argument, you lose Rarely does either party benefit from argument and criticism

Arguments and criticism tend to put the talker on the defensive

They tend to clam up or get angry

Thus, even if you win the argument, you lose

Rarely does either party benefit from argument and criticism

9. Ask Questions By frequently asking questions, you display an open mind It shows that you are listening At the same time, you also assist the talker in developing his or her message and in improving the correctness of meaning

By frequently asking questions, you display an open mind

It shows that you are listening

At the same time, you also assist the talker in developing his or her message and in improving the correctness of meaning

10. Stop Talking ! The last commandment is to stop talking It was also the first ! All the other commandments of listening depend on it

The last commandment is to stop talking

It was also the first !

All the other commandments of listening depend on it

THANK YOU….QUESTIONS ?