Self sabotage


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Self sabotage

  1. 1. SELF SABOTAGESelf Sabotage as defined is the combination of thoughts, feelings and actions thatcreate an obstruction in achieving one’s own success by working against own self-interest. This idea was rooted from the word sabotage which means a deliberateaction meant for weakening another entity through rebellion, disruption, or de-struction.However, the difference of both ideas is that one is intended for one’s own self in-terest while the other is intended for another individual’s interest. It is said thatSelf Sabotage is the opposite of self care due to the fact that individuals are al-ready against for the betterment of themselves which means they choose to go tothe wrong decision rather on the right one because for them they have the freedomto decide and choose for their life is up to them. Sometimes, in extreme cases theidea of Self Sabotage acts as a self-fulfilling internalized death wish which is ulti-mately due to the lack of self-esteem, self-confidence as well as self-worth.In dealing with Self Sabotage it is important to know the root cause why this ideaoccurs in one’s own mind. The common reasons why this negative mental idea ex-ist is due to fear of success, unworthiness, lack of belief in one’s own abilities andworking against one’s own true desires. Basically it is like a game of mental tug-of-war wherein the conscious mind or the acceptable ideas is fighting against thesubconscious mind or the unacceptable ideas whereas the subconscious mind al-ways wins the battle. Another common cause of Self Sabotage according to someindividuals is stress.As defined by the medical dictionary, stress is the result from interactions betweentwo individuals and their environmental demands or pressures that are perceivedas straining or exceeding to their adaptive capabilities and will eventually threat-ens the individual’s well being. As stress affects an individual’s state of mind, itcomes up with Self Sabotage techniques which make them unaware on how dread-ful they are in facing this kind of problems. The first technique is being a “typeA”.People who rush anxiously and treat others with hostility are people who move inthe world of a ‘Type A” environment. They bring unnecessarily emotional stresssuch as aggressiveness in dealing with relationships which sometimes result tohaving health problems. The second technique is the Negative Self Talk or the ene-my inside an individual’s head while the third one is the Poor Conflict ResolutionSkills wherein a person can no longer handle things well due to acting aggressive-ly rather than doing simple assertiveness in solving a certain problem.
  2. 2. These individuals are the ones who let stress sink in and allow it to obliterate one’sown mental capacity. The fourth technique is the Pessimism wherein in an individ-ual’s state of mind perceives life negatively. It is a specific worldview that under-mines a person’s belief in oneself which results to poorer health outcomes andfewer positive life events. These individuals are unaware that they are already pes-simist and usually view themselves as optimist. And lastly, the last technique isthe Taking on Too Much or the state wherein a person takes everything too muchand way overboard on what they can handle even though they know it will causechronic stress on their part. Having these Self Sabotage techniques will cause de-struction to one’ self and it is important that individual’s should overcome thesedestructions in order to develop healthy habits that will them feel more energized,relaxed and balanced.Since the denial is the defense mechanism of individuals who are sabotagingthemselves, the first step that they should do is admit that they have this kind ofproblem by knowing how they have secretly sabotaging themselves. Some of theproven manifestations that an individual is really sabotaging himself by wronglyassuming that they are strengthening their position with others include fawning be-fore people win their favor, expressing contrived concern for someone’s well be-ing, making small talk to smooth out the edges, hanging onto someone’s everyword, looking for someone’s approval, asking if someone’s is angry with them,fishing for a kind word, trying to impress someone, gossiping and explaining one’sself to others.If any of these given examples are present on a person, he must have a quick andsimple self assessment this may result to sabotaging oneself that which may causeself problems or worst an extremely alarming act. Treatment for Self Sabotage in-cludes both professional treatment and self help treatment. Professional treatmentencourages the individual to undergo Dialectical Behavior which the most effec-tive and helpful treatment currently available for this problem. It is designed forthose individuals who have problems with intense emotions, impulsive behaviorsas well as having difficulties in dealing with other people.This therapy will help the person to understand deeper their emotional problemsand behaviors by knowing their causes and they will also learn skills that can helpthem overcome arguments with others that will cause them self-injury, problematiceating behaviors and many other self destructing behaviors. These skills includeproper management of emotional states by analyzing emotional and behavioralpatterns which in a way will help them change there way of handling problems. Asfor self help treatment, this is for those individuals who easily identify the changesin their lives and professional treatment is no longer needed.
  3. 3. To start with self help treatment, the individual must make a two column list whichcontains their healthy habits on the first column and on the next column are the ac-tions or thoughts that hinder it form doing it. As the list is done, the individualmust think carefully and analyze all the words on the list. Realizing the situationwill make an individual take full responsibility towards its own action and wrongdoings. By doing this simple realization, Self Sabotage will no longer happen be-cause the person can now identify their mistakes as well as the solution of theseproblems in order to achieve a complete self-care which is a manifestation or abetter life.>>Check out positive thinking techniques to overcome self sabotage