Self sabotage Understanding Self Sabotage, and Why Some People Are on the Path of Self-DestructionMen and women by nature always love themselves more than any-body else, or anything else in life. So, when you see someone who isin complete love with himself or herself, you can take it as natural,though honestly, it can often be quite extreme. These extremities notonly look odd, but often cause problems to the individual as well. Butthat’s another issue. What is completely odd is the issue of self sabo-tage. That’s because, a person who is on the road to self-destruction,cannot be in love with himself/herself. Most people would believe this.But interestingly, this conclusion may be way off target.The fact is, those who are bent on self-destruction, are often toomuch in love with themselves. For instance, if you believe that youare the most handsome fellow in town, or that, there’s hardly anyonewho is more qualified than you are, you will naturally end up havingextremely high, and often completely unrealistic expectations, fromlife or your place of work. And sooner rather than later, your world isgoing to come crashing down, as you discover that your expectationsare not being met. With this comes utter disappointment, and it canruin you. In extreme cases, those who are going through this, maysee hope and meaning in life, and may opt for self sabotage.We have seen this all too often in the showbiz world. In fact, we haveseen this happen to people who have been legends in their ownfields. A few of them are – Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, JohnBelushi, the German goalkeeper Robert Enke, the English boxerFreddie Mills, Salvador Allende the President of Chile, JeremyMichael Boorda the chief of US navy, the lead singer of Nirvana KurtCobain, and many others. The list includes rock stars, icons of sports,academicians, scientists, politicians and more.Of course, there have been hundreds of people who have self-de-structed themselves, and they are just simple people. They are notpublic figures or celebrities in any way.Why Do People Cause Self Sabotage?
People choose the path of self sabotage because of a particular com-bination of feelings, thoughts and actions. These emotions cause aroadblock to success, and when this happens, they see no other op-tion, and choose self-destruction, against their own self interests. It isa state of affairs when a person wants something to happen con-sciously, but at the subconscious level, works against that very thing.In really extreme cases, people are so much committed to self sabo-tage that it can become a passion, a death wish. Ultimately, thesepeople choose self sabotage because what they lack is self worth,self confidence and self esteem.All types of people cause self sabotage. There are those who do sobecause they have failed to meet the challenges of life or the expec-tations of a job or family commitments. But surprisingly, there havealso been those who did so, because they were unable to handle thepressures of success. So, we see that, self sabotage can be the re-sult of both success and failures.Some Common Reasons of Self Sabotage ·Fearing success: Strangely enough, some people fear success. You want to succeed badly, but deep within, you realize that some- thing or the other might come in the way and prevent you from be- ing successful. It is essential to overcome these beliefs that are holding the person back, but rarely can he/she do so without help. Breaking free from the fear is not that easy for somebody who’s got the thoughts rooted deep within. ·Unworthiness: This is the feeling or belief that you do not deserve to be successful. This happens because of low self worth or self esteem, and bad self image. Of course, this state of mind is built over time. There will surely be many events in the past, because of which the person believes like this. But it is best to break free, and try to build self worth. ·Poor confidence in abilities: If you are taking up a new job, it is good to be a bit nervous, because this will help you do the job dili- gently. But some people go to such extreme levels that it kills their confidence, and they cannot take the risk of starting something new. The goals seem too unrealistic to them, and they would thus, never even attempt to take up the job. And in doing so, they are
depriving themselves of the opportunities, while their peers are moving forward. This again, makes them frustrated, and adds to their problems, thus complicating matters further. ·Working against the true desires: The fact is, most people do not even know what they truly want. Many of them may think they know what it is, but self sabotage would prevent them from reach- ing the target. A great example would be college drop-outs. Due to parent pressure, they may take up a course, but never complete it because they lose steam somewhere down the line, and thus end up nowhere. So, it is essential to know what you really want to do first.Self Sabotage SymptomsWatch out for these symptoms of self sabotage. ·Addictive behavior like gambling, drugs, alcohol and others. ·Problems in managing anger. ·Depression. ·Destructive professional or personal relationships. ·Decisions taken based on fear. ·Not capable of following up on professional or personal commit- ments. ·Not capable of trusting – professionally or personally. ·Poor self esteem. ·Procrastinating on professional and personal decisions. ·Maintaining a relationship where you are abused.Here Are Some Ways to Avoid Self Sabotage ·Try to trust people in your professional or personal relationships. ·Base these relationships on the basis of mutual respect. ·Take the help of medical professionals to get rid of depression. ·Analyze the conflict and try to manage the anger. ·Create action plans so that there is no professional or personal dissatisfaction. ·Stay away from any type of addiction. ·Do not take a decision because of fear. ·Follow up on your commitments. ·Practice positive thinking
·Learn how to use positive affirmations and meditationLearn more about >>guided imagery and how it can help over-come self sabotage