How To Stop Bullying!
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How To Stop Bullying!

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For Bullying Prevention and Self Protection Related Tips please visit: http://www.theinvinciblementalweapon.com

For Bullying Prevention and Self Protection Related Tips please visit: http://www.theinvinciblementalweapon.com

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  • I hope that school authorities strengthen ties with students as well as parents in making sure that bullying issues are lessened and eventually be gone. I am a parent and I'm worried and I don't want anyone to experience threatening cases like this especially my kids. As a way of helping everyone especially the parents, who still find it quite hard to manage issues like this, I found this great application which featured safety app which gets me connected to a Safety Network or escalate my call to the nearest 911 when needed, it has other cool features that are helpful for your kids with just a press of a Panic Button. Check it here: www.PersonalSafetySystem.com
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How To Stop Bullying! Document Transcript

  • 1. ==== ====For the greatest protection against Bullying, check this out:www.theinvinciblementalweapon.com==== ====As parents its sometimes difficult to decide how to protect our children from school bullies while atthe same time giving them the tools they need to learn how to deal with it themselves. In theearlier years of grade school we usually take care of protecting our kids by doing it for them -- weare the ones who speak with the teacher or other parent. However, as they grow up and begin toseek their own ways of dealing with things they eventually stop coming to us for help.Between the time when a parent is the childs sole defender and the point when they take on therole themselves, its useful to have an interim period of learning which incorporates both tactics ofdefense. We, as parents, can teach our children 3 basic steps to remember when addressingbullying type issues in school:1. Assert yourself.Essentially, the first time bullying happens its possible the child doing the bullying might not knowhow hurtful their words or actions are (or at least we can teach our children to begin by givingthem the benefit of the doubt). In this step the most important component is that your child needsto be able to tell his/her classmate what, specifically, it is they would like to have change -- whatexact behavior needs to stop; Was it certain words they used? Was it the tone of their voice? Wasit a specific name they were called? Was it any type of touch or hitting? Was it a specific action?At first it may not be easy for your child to explain because children do not automatically have theskills needed to articulate what theyre feeling, or what specifically is causing it. In some cases theissue that is causing the discomfort may not be so black & white because itll be somethingthat they dont want to stop entirely -- such as a fun game that maybe just went a little too far.Whatever the situation, its necessary to teach your child to focus on noticing what it is that theother person(s) is doing that isnt okay, and then get specific to the things they see, hear orphysically experience in order to describe them.This is the point where you need to then help them focus on what they want instead. The mainreason is that if you ask a bully to "stop" a particular behavior then youve given them the freedomto do another, just as hurtful, bullying behavior. Instead, help your child determine what they wantand how they want it. With that you can help them put those expectations into multiple differentsentences which they can use against the bully. You must help them determine the actual wordsthey can say to the bully in order to assert what they want changed!2. Utilize the systems in place.If your child confronts the bully without success, then the next time it happens they shouldescalate their tactics to incorporate any systems already available to them. In this case they would
  • 2. go to the teacher and ask for their assistance in dealing with the matter. At this point you canbasically go through the same process for asserting themselves, but with small change -- youmust set your expectations of what they need the teacher to do.At the end of the process youll need to take a more active role in helping them put together theright words to say when talking to their teacher. The goal here is to get the teacher to understandthat for the child this is a serious problem and subsequently the teacher should take it seriously,too. You need to give them sentences which you know the teacher, as an adult, will not simplydismiss as "a minor childish problem which -- if left to their own devices -- the kids will figure outand the problem will probably solve itself."For older children who feel a certain sense of shame in going to the teacher (mainly because kidsmake fun of people who have to get a grown up to protect them), you as the adult need to have away of framing it so they think of it differently. One suggestion is to have the child simply presentthis tactic to the bully as a symbol of status and power -- as if the child is in charge and the teacherwill act in service to them. An example is, "I dont need to deal with this -- if you keep it up Illsimply have the teacher deal with you."However, its important to remember that the teacher needs to be respected as well, so when yourchild presents this option to a person in authority its often valuable to offer up a solution such asmediation (where the teacher meets with both children at the same time and they each have anopportunity to present their side of the story). The benefit of this is to make things easier for theteacher so they are more likely to act while at the same time showing the bully a strong degree ofself-confidence in managing the bullys "childish behaviors" using "mature tactics."3. Find allies beyond the current system.In a perfect world this is where bullying should stop, but sometimes it doesnt. In these situationsyour kid should have a back-up plan -- and thats YOU!As the parent it is these times you need to step up and take action. The best is to meet with theprincipal rather than the teacher (remember that "shit rolls down hill" so they will have moreinfluence on the teacher than you will) and present your concerns along with the desired solutions.It is valuable for your child to be present at this meeting so that you can demonstrate a clearexample of how they should learn to deal with interpersonal conflict as an adult.4. Have a pre-prepared "Hail Mary Play."The "Hail Mary Pass" or "Hail Mary Play" is a famous American football term commonly used todescribe a final play made in desperation with only a small chance of success. With regard toschool bullying this comes after youve both made all possible attempts to work within the rules ofthe system to deal with the bullying problem. If, after youve spoken with the principal of theschool, the issue continues to happen, then you should give your child permission &guidance of how to appropriately go outside societys standard procedures.Teachers and school administration often avoid getting involved in difficult issues betweenstudents because in our society they risk their own consequences if they dont handle it properly.So our underlying goal is to make the childs bullying problem an issue for EVERYONE right in the
  • 3. moment that the bullying is happening -- because when a teacher cant do their job then they musttake action. Examples Ive given kids include:Yelling -- freak out, scream, get angry & loud, and make a scene about anything at all(NEVER hitting or becoming destructive).Become obscene -- start swearing up a "blue streak" at the top of their lungs.Pull the fire alarm [Worst case scenario only, such as fear of physical harm!] -- its amazing howquickly the community becomes involved when the media reports that police, fire department andambulance were called to a school for bullying.In each of these cases your child will be most likely be taken to the office. After being "taken intocustody" it is important that the child follow up their behavior by repeating nonstop "Call my Mom"or "Call my Dad" over and over and over until you can get there. They should say nothing else; noexplanation, no defending their behavior -- when you arrive it will then be in your hands to justifywhat has happened and explain how it would be unacceptable for any discipline to happen againstyour child since the school didnt do anything about the bullying problem.These final tactics may seem extreme; however, in comparison to a child making the decision ontheir own to go outside normal behavior, everyone will agree that these kinds of Hail Mary Playsare much better choices than a kid bringing a gun to school as a means of solving things their ownway.Dr. Daniel Scott, Msc.D, NLP.T, CHt.Verbal Self Defense TacticsSoaring Success Personal Excellence Coaching [http://www.soaringsuccess.ca]Dr. Scott is the proud creator and developer of a unique new six step model for verbal self defensebased upon the behavioral science of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). A professional NLPTrainer and Coach from Victoria, BC, Canada, his background includes a degree in MetaphysicalScience and certifications in Reality Therapy, Choice Theory as well as training in CognitiveBehavioral Therapy. His 6 Step Verbal Self Defense Model utilizes both the hypnotic andcognizant language patterns of NLP to effectively address abusive communication in others.Article Source:http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Daniel_B_Scott
  • 4. ==== ====For the greatest protection against Bullying, check this out:www.theinvinciblementalweapon.com==== ====