A not bad essay… …broken down in the hope we can understand where the boss is coming from
Introductions More than one sentence Define the angle of the essay Make it clear how you are going to support this angle May start with profound statement about the topic you will discuss Read the next sheet and see how you could fix the intro
In the film, ‘Into the Wild,’ by Sean Penn, my understanding of the important theme of identity was deepened by techniques of repeated of hats in the film, the use of framing and through the motif of names.
Paragraphs Should deal with ‘how’ This means how a writer or director presents their idea through the presentation of a character, the consequences of an event, the nature of a relationship, imagery etc Read the first body paragraph and identify where the writer deals with the ‘how’
The ‘why’ This is a massive part of the essay. 50% of the paragraph should deal with this. Why did the writer/director feel that the image or quote fitted the purpose of the text Why did it add to the film Why did it add to your understanding of the concept Why did the writer/director feel that the story needed to be told Read the first body paragraph and identify where the writer is explaining the ‘why’ What phrases is he using to connect the ‘how’ to the ‘why’?
‘because’ This is a key word. Key you hear, key. This evidence is linked to the idea of … because… See. It forces an explanation or justification The setting of … was used to explore the idea that … because …
Purpose The key to level Two is discussion of ‘Purpose’, this is the same as the ‘why’ Purpose is also the lesson for the audience. Remember that the lesson is not written for the character the lesson is for the audience so discuss the fact that the character was used to represent a part of society, to teach all of society a lesson. What is it in the first body paragraph that the writer says he learns about the concept of identity? How could he make this more explicit?
Three Level marking guide This is how I marked your essays. It was tough but I felt it gave me more scope to see what you guys understood
Level One/Literal/On the line Have you identified the aspect of the text that the writer or director has used? Have you identified a relevant example? Can you identify the emotive effect or the image that the example you have selected creates? While this level alone didn’t get you an achieved it was necessary for any result. Check out the essay and see where this is done and how it is done
Level Two/between the lines/metaphoric Can you describe how the technique related to character development? Can you discuss how the example related to the idea? Have you discussed how the example created the image? Do you understand the idea of the text within the text? Read that paragraph and find good examples of this in there
Level three/Beyond the text/symbolic Have you made recognition that the characters in the text are representing an idea and the way that they are presented is trying to teach us something? Have you discussed the lesson in terms of what the viewer reader learns rather than for the characters? Have you discussed what the reader can learn from this text about human behaviour? Have you discussed how we should react according to the information that the text provides?
Paragraph structure Start with the idea of the paragraph. What is the concept that you will discuss? Define the concept. “Growing up is hard to do when doing it alone. This means that when we are teenagers and are transitioning between youth and adulthood we need support structures. It also means that we should not reject help. This is shown through the presentation of the character Holden” Use and weave evidence to back your initial statement up Finish the paragraph off with a discussion that shows what society can learn from your information to make life in this world sustainable.
The lessons… The lessons the characters learn are insignificant when compared to the change that the writer hopes to bring about because of the text. So you have to decide on what it was that motivated the writer to create the text, why did they feel that their text was beneficial to society? The story is a teaching tool. In our essays we must discuss what it is that the writer wants us to do after reading their story
Back to the essay Read through the essay and identify where the writer actually discusses what he knows about identity. What is he saying about the way that identity is created? What is he saying about how we should allow our identity to be shaped? Is there anything in there that makes you understand the concept of identity He says the parents are seen as constrained – why might the director want these two to look constrained? How could he use a judgement to link to purpose of the text as he or you see it?
Evidence Statement Achievement Answers the question. Evidence of analysis: addresses “how” and “why” with some discussion of cause and effect. Some specific evidence / details linked to text(s). Shows engagement with the text(s) at a reader level. Achievement with Merit Answers the question fully and with supporting detail from the text(s). Shows convincing understanding of theme and / or structure, author(s) craft and purpose. Presents some inferences based on personal understanding. Some maturity of thinking. Evidence of analysis: addresses “how” and “why” through the convincing development of ideas. Uses appropriate terminology. Achievement with Excellence As for Achievement with Merit, plus Presents insightful analysis. Offers conclusions and draws inferences about the theme and / or structure and author(s) purpose. Presents own position as a reader of the text(s). Demonstrates an appreciation of author(s) craft / ideas. Shows integrated insight and, if appropriate, reference beyond the text(s).