The Compassionate Classroom

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VPLD Hot Seat session 26th October 2011
Fiona White
Mediation Matters

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The Compassionate Classroom

  1. 1. The Compassionate Classroom - open communication VPLD session 26th October 2011 with Fiona White of Mediation MattersThe Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
  2. 2. Teacher Tube video • What do you think is the intention of the principal in using this demonstration? What are they hoping will be the effect on the students? • What do you think might be the actual effect on the students? What might be the consequences of such a demonstration?The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
  3. 3. Rules & ValuesValues exercise:• What words would you use to describe the classroom/school you would like to be a part of?• What does ‘respectful communication’ look like for you?• What obstacles might get in the way of you living up to these values?• What might you do when you perceive that someone’s behaviour doesn’t match these values?The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
  4. 4. Our brain in conflict Picture from www.nccr-neuro.uzh.ch Mirror Neurons: Mirror neurons fire in the brains of observers watching a given action, and replicate to some extent the experience of the one being observed. These neurons fire when we observe someone else angry, suffering or frightened, reproducing those experiences in the form of empathy.The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
  5. 5. Our brain in conflictThe Limbic System:The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
  6. 6. List of feelings/emotions When needs are met: When needs are not met: Comfortable, full, satisfied, easy, content, Uncomfortable, pained, uneasy, hurt, relaxed, fulfilled, safe miserable, embarrassed Glad, happy, excited, hopeful, joyful, Sad, unhappy, troubled, disheartened, delighted, grateful, encouraged, confident, heavy, lonely, anguished, gloomy, cheerful, elated, enthusiastic despairing, depressed Grateful, appreciative, thankful Annoyed, disappointed, bitter Interested, curious, engaged, intent, Uninterested, aloof, bored, distant, involved, absorbed apathetic, disinterested, withdrawn Loving, connected, touched, warm, Mad, angry, furious, aggravated, irritated, affectionate, tender, open, friendly, enraged, hostile, bitter, upset, frustrated compassionate, nurtured Tired, exhausted, fatigued, lethargic, weary, sleepy, dull, overwhelmed, discouraged Rested, refreshed, rejuvenated, energized, strong, invigorated, alive, alert, relaxed Scared, fearful, afraid, anxious, hesitant, reluctant, shocked, terrified, horrified, Peaceful, calm, serene, trusting, tranquil, unsettled clear, composed, secure, at ease, contentThe Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
  7. 7. List of Needs Space Belonging Fairness Integrity Trust Choice Celebration Growth Appreciation Hope Respect Community Purpose Efficiency Order Progress Patience Nourishment Inclusion Compassion Equality Honesty Play Consideration To be heard KeepingCo-operation Rest Connection Joy agreements Acceptance Empowerment Clarity Support TransparencyIndependence Safety/security Authenticity Understanding/be understoodThe Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
  8. 8. What would you like this student to do?Specific positive action requestThe Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
  9. 9. List of feelings/emotions When needs are met: When needs are not met: Comfortable, full, satisfied, easy, content, Uncomfortable, pained, uneasy, hurt, relaxed, fulfilled, safe miserable, embarrassed Glad, happy, excited, hopeful, joyful, Sad, unhappy, troubled, disheartened, delighted, grateful, encouraged, confident, heavy, lonely, anguished, gloomy, cheerful, elated, enthusiastic despairing, depressed Grateful, appreciative, thankful Annoyed, disappointed, bitter Interested, curious, engaged, intent, Uninterested, aloof, bored, distant, involved, absorbed apathetic, disinterested, withdrawn Loving, connected, touched, warm, Mad, angry, furious, aggravated, irritated, affectionate, tender, open, friendly, enraged, hostile, bitter, upset, frustrated compassionate, nurtured Tired, exhausted, fatigued, lethargic, weary, sleepy, dull, overwhelmed, discouraged Rested, refreshed, rejuvenated, energized, strong, invigorated, alive, alert, relaxed Scared, fearful, afraid, anxious, hesitant, reluctant, shocked, terrified, horrified, Peaceful, calm, serene, trusting, tranquil, unsettled clear, composed, secure, at ease, contentThe Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
  10. 10. List of Needs Space Belonging Fairness Integrity Trust Choice Celebration Growth Appreciation Hope Respect Community Purpose Efficiency Order Progress Patience Nourishment Inclusion Compassion Equality Honesty Play Consideration To be heard KeepingCo-operation Rest Connection Joy agreements Acceptance Empowerment Clarity Support TransparencyIndependence Safety/security Authenticity Understanding/be understoodThe Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
  11. 11. Nonviolent Communication 4-part strategy Observation: When you say ... (without I see ... evaluation) ‘x’ happens. Feelings: Are you (feeling) ... I feel ... Needs: because you’re needing ... I’m needing ... Request: Would you like to … I would like to … Would you be willing to ... (must be a clear message of what you want to happen)The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11
  12. 12. What are you taking away from today’s VPLD session?Fiona White’s contact detailsMobile: (+64) 021 232 6805Email: fiona@mediationmatters.co.nzWebsite: www.mediationmatters.co.nzFacebook ID: Mediation matters NZBlog: www.theconflicttoolbox.wordpress.comOther topics to consider:• The power of empathy – for self and others.• Rules & values - Values exercise for behavioural expectations.• Four uses of the 4-part strategy: for self-empathy, empathy for others, expressing own needs, & expressing gratitude.• How the labels we use limit our connections with others – teacher, student, principal.• How we behave towards authority, and as an authority – the choices we make.• Reward & Punishment and their effects – performance appraisals that work.The Compassionate Classroom – 26/10/11

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