Building Healthy
Marriages
© 2002 International Educational Foundation
IEF is responsible for the content of this presenta...
Build Own Character
Strength
A partnership is only as strong
as its partners
 Strengthen conscience through
study and ser...
Focus on Own
Deficiencies, Not
Spouse’s

Practice self-discipline
© IEF 3
Commitment —
Context for Love to
Grow
 Creates safety for
intimacy
 Allows time to
discover spouse
 Never ending
proces...
Commitment =
Investment in the
Marriage
Close “escape hatches”
 Workaholism
 Preoccupation with child
 Excessive televi...
Fidelity
 Embodies commitment
 Maintains honesty
 Eases fears that block
intimacy

© IEF 6
Love — Built on Trust
Trust is built on virtue
 Fidelity
 Commitment

© IEF 7
“A marriage that commands
loyalty…requires each partner
to relinquish selfcenteredness.”
Judith S. Wallerstein, The Good M...
True Love Is
OtherCentered
True
Love

© IEF 9
Love Requires
Investment
Investment &
Involvement
Bonding Power

Sustains &
revives affection
© IEF 10
Deposits
 Service
 Kind gestures
 Praise and
appreciation

© IEF 11
Invest in the
Marital “Bank
Account”
Become friends
 Build
companionship
 Have fun together

5 deposits for 1
withdrawal...
Withdrawals
1. Criticism
2. Personal
attacks
3.
Defensiveness
4. Putting up
© IEF 13
Develop Listening
Skills
1. State
2. Reflect
3. Affirm
& clarify
© IEF 14
Listening from Spouse’s
Perspective — Effective

 With empathy
 To understand
© IEF 15
Common Areas of
Marital Tension





Sex
In-Laws
Finances
Children

© IEF 16
Dealing with Anger
 Never use
physical violence
 Allow time for cooling
down
 Get to the root
emotions — Hurt &
fear
© ...
Marital Phases

Conflict

Romance

© IEF 18
Choices During
Conflict
Separati
on

Resignati
on
Renewed
Commitment

© IEF 19
Marital Phases
Creativity
Conflict

Romance

& Service

Recommitment
& Cooperation
© IEF 20
Public Service
Strengthens
Marriage
 Spouses support
each other in
service
 Balance public
and family time
© IEF 21
“Love does not consist in
gazing at each other but
in looking together in the
same direction.”
Antoine De Saint-Exupery

©...
Happiest Marriages
Interdependent

Interdepende
nt
Not too
dependent

Too independent
© IEF 23
Marriage Can Be
Healing and
Restorative
Resolves
psychological
issues
 Childhood scars
 Family history
© IEF 24
Marriage Can Be
Transformative
Maturing experience
of adult life
 Creative journey
 Expands heart and
awareness

© IEF 2...
Upcoming SlideShare
Loading in …5
×

TIMD-IEF Part 9

77
-1

Published on

Published in: Education
0 Comments
0 Likes
Statistics
Notes
  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

No Downloads
Views
Total Views
77
On Slideshare
0
From Embeds
0
Number of Embeds
0
Actions
Shares
0
Downloads
2
Comments
0
Likes
0
Embeds 0
No embeds

No notes for slide

TIMD-IEF Part 9

  1. 1. Building Healthy Marriages © 2002 International Educational Foundation IEF is responsible for the content of this presentation only if it has not been altered from the original. © IEF 1
  2. 2. Build Own Character Strength A partnership is only as strong as its partners  Strengthen conscience through study and service  Cultivate good goals, interests and friendships © IEF 2
  3. 3. Focus on Own Deficiencies, Not Spouse’s Practice self-discipline © IEF 3
  4. 4. Commitment — Context for Love to Grow  Creates safety for intimacy  Allows time to discover spouse  Never ending process © IEF 4
  5. 5. Commitment = Investment in the Marriage Close “escape hatches”  Workaholism  Preoccupation with child  Excessive television  Extramarital affair Divorce not an option © IEF 5
  6. 6. Fidelity  Embodies commitment  Maintains honesty  Eases fears that block intimacy © IEF 6
  7. 7. Love — Built on Trust Trust is built on virtue  Fidelity  Commitment © IEF 7
  8. 8. “A marriage that commands loyalty…requires each partner to relinquish selfcenteredness.” Judith S. Wallerstein, The Good Marriage © IEF 8
  9. 9. True Love Is OtherCentered True Love © IEF 9
  10. 10. Love Requires Investment Investment & Involvement Bonding Power Sustains & revives affection © IEF 10
  11. 11. Deposits  Service  Kind gestures  Praise and appreciation © IEF 11
  12. 12. Invest in the Marital “Bank Account” Become friends  Build companionship  Have fun together 5 deposits for 1 withdrawal © IEF 12
  13. 13. Withdrawals 1. Criticism 2. Personal attacks 3. Defensiveness 4. Putting up © IEF 13
  14. 14. Develop Listening Skills 1. State 2. Reflect 3. Affirm & clarify © IEF 14
  15. 15. Listening from Spouse’s Perspective — Effective  With empathy  To understand © IEF 15
  16. 16. Common Areas of Marital Tension     Sex In-Laws Finances Children © IEF 16
  17. 17. Dealing with Anger  Never use physical violence  Allow time for cooling down  Get to the root emotions — Hurt & fear © IEF 17
  18. 18. Marital Phases Conflict Romance © IEF 18
  19. 19. Choices During Conflict Separati on Resignati on Renewed Commitment © IEF 19
  20. 20. Marital Phases Creativity Conflict Romance & Service Recommitment & Cooperation © IEF 20
  21. 21. Public Service Strengthens Marriage  Spouses support each other in service  Balance public and family time © IEF 21
  22. 22. “Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.” Antoine De Saint-Exupery © IEF 22
  23. 23. Happiest Marriages Interdependent Interdepende nt Not too dependent Too independent © IEF 23
  24. 24. Marriage Can Be Healing and Restorative Resolves psychological issues  Childhood scars  Family history © IEF 24
  25. 25. Marriage Can Be Transformative Maturing experience of adult life  Creative journey  Expands heart and awareness © IEF 25
  1. A particular slide catching your eye?

    Clipping is a handy way to collect important slides you want to go back to later.

×