TIMD-IEF Part 7

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  • Best of the 20th Century
  • Worst of the 20th Century
  • Strongest
    Influences on Students
    1950
    1.Home
    2.School
    3.Church
    4.Peers
    5.TV
    1990
    1.Peers
    2.TV
    3.Home
    4.School
    5.Church
    Source:Michigan State University study, 1990
  • Government
    Spending & Social Problems (U.S. from 1960Ð1990)
    500% increase in spending on social problems
    ¥Violent crime rose 500%
    ¥Births outside marriage rose 400%
    ¥Divorce rose 400%
    ¥Children living in single parent homes rose 300%
    ¥Teenage suicides rose 200%
    Source:William Bennett, speech ÒSearch for A New World CultureÓ to conference, Washington, D.C., Apr 23, 1997
  • Characteristics of
    ÒNon-DirectiveÓ Education
    1.Emphasizes feelings and process over knowledge and content
    2.Promotes self-determined standards and choices
    3.Teacher as facilitator of studentsÕ personal choice
  • Characteristics of
    ÒNon-DirectiveÓ Education
    4.Rejects the authority of traditional moral teaching
    5. Undermines the parentsÕ role in education
  • Early Appeal of
    Non-Directive Education
    1.Used interactive methodology
    2.Supported by the science of its time
    3.Coincided with the loss of confidence in traditional values
    4.Seemed to promote tolerance
  • Limitations of
    Values Clarification
    1.Does not teach standards of right and wrong
    ¥No moral basis upon which to make wise choices
    2.Encourages mediocrity and lack of commitment
    3.Does not build good character
  • Myths
    1. Self-esteem is a right
    2. Self-esteem prevents moral and social problems
    3. Self-esteem must be protected from guilt
  • Theorists of School Reform Later
    Disavow Non-Directive Education
    Declared their methods
    inappropriate for children and classrooms
    Source:William Kilpatrick, Why Johnny CanÕt Tell Right from Wrong, 1992
  • U.S. Policy Recognizes Limitations of Non-Directive Methods
    Rejects Òopen-ended decision-making, values clarification and therapeuticÉ strategiesÓ in drug abuse education
    Source:U.S. Dept. of Education guidelines for drug prevention education, 1988
    Mandates federal funding for directive abstinence-oriented sex education
    Source:Act of Congress, 1996
  • Attempt to Foster Moral Development Ð
    The ÒMoral ReasoningÓ Approach
    Strengths
    Recognizes hierarchy of values & moral development
    Limitations
    1.Tends to equate moral character with rationality
    2.Neglects cultivation of moral feeling and will
  • Why Moral & Ethical
    Education Was Neglected
    1.Rise of moral relativism
    ¥All values subjective
    2.Increasing pluralism
    ¥Unclear whose values should be taught
    3.Confusion that teaching values was promoting religion
  • Moral & Ethical Education
    Recognizes Universal Values
  • Criteria for Universal Values
    1.Objective benefits for
    individuals and society
    2.Universal validity
    ¥Reversibility Ð Is good if
    another does it to oneself
    ¥Generalizability Ð Is good if
    everyone does it
    3.Compelling to the conscience
    4.Transcending cultures
  • Ethics Ð Balance of Love & Rules
    Love
    Seeks harmony
    Compassionate
    Forgiving
    Rules
    Regulatory
    Fair
    Uncompromising
  • Morals Goal — Loving Relationships & Family
    Strong marriages
    Effective parenting
    Ethical practice
    living for higher purpose
  • Mastery Involves Morality & Ethics
  • Education for Mastery
    1.Academic education
    2.Technical education
    3.Physical education
  • Mastery Involves
    Concern for the Environment
  • Family in Crisis
    ¥Spouse and child abuse
    ¥Infidelity
    ¥Divorce
  • Priority of
    Moral & Ethical Education
  • Part 3.
    What Is a
    Balanced Education?
  • Goals of Education
    1.Mature character
    2.Ethical & loving relationships
    3.Productive citizens
  • Romance by itself Insufficient foundation for the enduring love needed to sustain marriages and families
  • Good Character
    Inner disposition conducive to right conduct
    ¥Attitudes and habits
    ¥For the purpose of loving
  • Heart Ð Core of Character
    Pursues true love
  • Cultivation of Heart
    1.Cultivation of moral feeling
    ¥Empathy
    ¥Loving motivation
    ¥Love of goodness
    2.Learning through experiences of love
    ¥Gaining the capacity to love through family life
    3.Training in good character
    ¥Develop self-control
    ¥Strengthen the conscience
    4.Internalizing moral standards
    5.Valuing people and respecting things
  • Moral Goal —Creating a Prosperous Society
    Technical mastery
    Community service
    Concern for the environment
  • Third Goal of Education
    Productive Citizens
  • Balanced Education
    Conventional
    Education
    Individualized
  • Home, School & School Ð
    Partners in Education
  • Dear Teacher,
    I am a survivor of a concentration camp.
    My eyes saw what no man should witness: gas chambers built by learned engineers, children poisoned by learned physicians, infants killed by trained nurses, women and babies shot and burned by high school and college graduates.
    So, I am suspicious of education.
  • My request is:
    Help your students become human. Your efforts must never produce learned monsters, skilled psychopaths, educated Eichmanns. Reading, writing, arithmetic are important only if they serve to make our children more human.
  • 1960s Ð Breakdown
    of Traditional Values
    1.Decline of adult moral authority
    2.Rise of selfish individualism and moral relativism
  • What Is the Crisis in American Education?
  • Traditional Role of Education
    1.Passing on knowledge and cultural values
    2.Teaching moral standards and social responsibilities
    3.Preparing good citizens
  • Explosion of Destructive
    Youth Behavior Since 1940s
    1940s School Problems
    1.Talking out of turn
    2.Chewing gum
    3.Making noise
    4.Running indoors
    5.Getting out of line
    6.Improper clothing
    7.Littering
    1990s School Problems
    1.Drug abuse
    2.Alcohol abuse
    3.Pregnancy
    4.Suicide
    5.Rape
    6.Robbery
    7.Assault
    Source:William J. Bennett et al., Index of Leading Cultural indicators, Empower America, Mar. 1993
  • U.S. Education Ð
    Founded with Moral Purposes
    Morality and knowledge considered essential to a good society
    1.Schools actively promoted good character and citizenship
    2.Earliest universities Ð Established by religious organizations
    ¥Harvard
    ¥Yale
    ¥Georgetown
  • TIMD-IEF Part 7

    1. 1. Successful Marriage Preparation © 2002 International Educational Foundation IEF is responsible for the content of this presentation only if it has not been altered from the original. © IEF 1
    2. 2. Loving Relationships & Family Are a Basic Life Goal © IEF 2
    3. 3. Personal Benefits of Marriage  Longer life  Health  Happiness  Inner growth © IEF 3
    4. 4. Personal Benefits of Marriage  Wealth  Resilience  Productivity © IEF 4
    5. 5. Best Environment for Children “A nuclear family of father, mother and their children …is still today a child’s best guarantee for success.” Brigitte Berger, Sociologist © IEF 5
    6. 6. “I would gladly give up my millions for one marital success.” J. Paul Getty © IEF 6
    7. 7. Are They Balanced? Career Preparatio n Marriage Preparation © IEF 7
    8. 8. Real Success Means Good Families  Rated most important source of satisfaction Source: Columbia University & National Institutes of Health  Requires commitment and © IEF 8
    9. 9. Marriage Education Popular Worldwide  High school and university classes  Mandated by law © IEF 9
    10. 10. Marriage Education & Character Education Preparation for lasting love — Rationale for adolescents to develop their character © IEF 10
    11. 11. Strongly Desired  78% of teenagers consider marriage and family very important Source: 1995 Survey, Institute for Social Research, University of Michigan © IEF 11
    12. 12. “For one human being to love another: That is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks…” Rainer Maria Rilke © IEF 12
    13. 13. Value of Integrity  Basis of keeping marriage commitments  Foundation for self–confidence © IEF 13
    14. 14. Integrity  Clear moral values  Living up to them  Self-discipline © IEF 14
    15. 15. Personal Development  Cultivating interests and talents  Building selfrespect  Managing one’s feelings  Fostering peace with oneself © IEF 15
    16. 16. Take Personal Responsibility  For one’s circumstances  For one’s strengths and weaknesses © IEF 16
    17. 17. “The most important characteristic of a marriageable person is the habit of happiness.” Judd and Mary Landis, Building a Successful Marriage © IEF 17
    18. 18. Respect for Parents Emulating parents’ strength  Adopting their good values © IEF 18
    19. 19. Learn from Parents About the Opposite Sex  Seeking advice concerning a mate © IEF 19
    20. 20. Value of Abstinence  Supports personal development  Protects against physical, mental and relational risks  Context for © IEF 20
    21. 21. Honor Sexual Boundaries usal Aro xual Se Male Female Beginnin Genital Genital g Peak Relatio nship change s Mutual Sexual Hand SimpleProlonged Necking Petting Sex Play Holding Kiss Intercour Kiss se © IEF 21
    22. 22. Sexual Desire & Self– Control Sexual Desires Sexual Activity Normal & healthy Controlling it is normal & healthy © IEF 22
    23. 23. Support Abstinence through Media Discernment  Recognize profit motive  Check against reality © IEF 23
    24. 24. Make the Commitment to Abstinence © IEF 24
    25. 25. Relational Resources  Healthy friendships  Conflict resolution skills  Service © IEF 25
    26. 26. Healthy Friendships Reduce Love Problems Unhealthy attachments Poor relationships with elders and peers © IEF 26
    27. 27. Invest in Friendships Over Time  Regular shared activity and conversation © IEF 27
    28. 28. Same Gender Friends © IEF 28
    29. 29. Opposite Gender Friends  Relating with modesty and respect © IEF 29
    30. 30. Lasting Love – Art to Be Learned Requires virtues, insights and © IEF 30
    31. 31. Knowledge  Insight into love  Information about marriage © IEF 31
    32. 32. Insight Into Love Love is an active verb  Not just a state or feeling © IEF 32
    33. 33. Discerning True Love True Love Infatuation  Internal focus  Deepened by conflicts & separation  Productive  External focus  Weakened by conflicts & separation  Distracting © IEF 33
    34. 34. “Falling In Love” Overvalued by Popular Culture Romance by itself – Not enough to sustain marriages and families © IEF 34
    35. 35. Value of Information About Marriage  Comprehend marriage commitment  Anticipate challenges and rewards © IEF 35
    36. 36. Recognize Components of Relationships  Compatibil ity  Commitme nt  Intimacy  Passion © IEF 36
    37. 37. Anticipate Phases of Marriage 1. Infatuation 2. Conflict 3. Recommitment and cooperation 4. Creativity and service © IEF 37
    38. 38. Learn Good Communication  Listening and speaking effectively © IEF 38
    39. 39. Value of Conflict Resolution Skills Marriage is stressful  Destroyed by unresolved conflicts © IEF 39
    40. 40. Avoid Relationship Poisons 1. Criticism 2. Contempt 3. Defensivenes s 4. Stonewalling © IEF 40
    41. 41. Foster Reconciliation  Make amends  Practice forgiveness  Find gratitude © IEF 41
    42. 42. Servic e Broadens the experience of giving © IEF 42
    43. 43. Lessons of Service  Love requires effort  To give is to receive © IEF 43
    44. 44. Strengthen Relationships through Service  Value of higher purpose © IEF 44
    45. 45. Selecting a Marriage Partner Less Successful — Focus on Outer Traits  Attractiveness More Successful — Focus on Inner Traits  Character  Wealth  Beliefs  Status  Ability to love © IEF 45
    46. 46. Qualities Most Valued by Those Seeking Partners  Physical attractiveness  Economic potential  Status © IEF 46
    47. 47. Qualities Most Valued by Married Couples Caring Honesty Trust Fidelity Commitment Willingness to sacrifice  Sense of humor       © IEF 47
    48. 48. To Find a Good Marriage Prospect — Become One Yourself “To be loved, be lovable.” Ovid © IEF 48
    49. 49. Character — Foundation for Strong Marriage © IEF 49
    50. 50. Marriage Preparation Education Has Benefits  Individual happiness  Family stability  National strength © IEF 50
    51. 51. © IEF 51

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