Chapter 4 interpersonal communication

Chapter 4: Interpersonal Communication

Psychic reading secrets revealed!

How to be a Psychicor..How to be a better listener and use these techniques in your relationships.
Question: The "Psychic Friends Netweork" went out of business…did they see it coming
http://www.wikihow.com/Cold-Read

Facial Expressions are wired into us at birth!
But we can change how we are perceived ……

Reading Faces

Click on this interesting quiz below.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/faceperception1/index.shtml

Fake or Real?
There are 50 or so different types of human smiles. By analyzing the movements of over 80 facial muscles involved in smiling, researchers can tell when a smile is true.
Look for the crinkle in the skin at the middle, outside corner of the eyes and if it is not there, the smile is probably fake.

Is body language an accurate gauge of others? Click on link.
http://www.bodylanguagesignals.com/Face.html

Up to 93 % of communication is non-verbal. Including tone of voice, eye movement, posture, hand gestures, facial expressions
If you want to win someone over a good rule of thumb is to mirror his or her body language!!

Mirroring.
Mirroring body language can be used whenever you want to create trust with somebody. The other person experiences you as being the same as them. This sameness happens on an unconscious level and it is one of the ways that humans decided who was with the tribe and who wasn't.
You may have heard of the saying monkey see monkey do. This is because there are a part of the brain that copies the actions of other primates. And Yes, you are a primate too along with Gorillas, Chimpanzees and monkeys.
The part of the brain that copies the actions of others are called "mirror neurons " and are located in the part of the brain called Broccas area.
As a general rule, wait around 50 seconds before following their gestures.

Evil Eye of Sauran
Gangs have fought over the way someone looked at them.

Puffer Fish Strategy

“Don’t mess with me man!”

Body language and your future.

What to wear for an interview.

Mind your body language
In the initial stages, how you say things is more important than what you say.
Pay attention to: Appearance, tone of voice, energy, joyful behavior …

First ImpressionsNo second chance at first impressions.
Fifty-five per cent of the impression we get from someone comes through our body language
Thirty-eight per cent is from the tone, speed and inflection of our voice
and a mere seven per cent is from what we're actually saying!

Is your posture stiff and rigid?
Is it too relaxed or loose?
Is you back hunched over?
Do you rock back and forth or fidget?
Do you stand on one leg or two?
Do people move away from you
because you stand too close?
Do people move closer to you?
The Stance of Power!

Do you swish and sway when you walk?
Do you walk rigid like a soldier?
Do you make a lot of noise when you walk?
Do you shuffle your feet when you walk?
Do you have a tentative, quiet walk?
Do you walk to quickly?
The Walk of Authority

Are your arms crossed when you speak?
Do your hands and arms flail around when you speak?
Do you use minimal or no hand movements when you speak?
Do you fidget with you hands as you speak?
Do you compelled to touch everything and everyone in front of you?
I have to hand it to you!

Dead Head?
Do you stick your neck and jaw out as you speak?
Is your head tilted down when you speak?
Do you cock your head to the side when you speak?
Do you constantly nod your head “yes” or “no” when you speak?

My ears hurt listening to you!
Voice too high or too low?
Too soft or too loud?
To fast or too slow?
Do you clear your throat a lot as you speak?

Finally. Impression management: Keeping yourself in check online.
http://apps.career.colostate.edu/blog/archive/2010/01/19/impression-management-keeping-yourself-in-check-online.aspx

Why listen?
To spread joy!!
Other-directed communication = personal happiness=
job satisfaction

Note that socializing at work is high on the index and occupies a significant amount of time.
✔

Bottom Line: communication = happiness

More money = more happiness?Weare making more money but not happier!

Does brain dominance affect the way we communicate?Take the quiz below and self-assess your dominant side.
http://www.web-us.com/BRAIN/braindominance.htm

Listening versus hearing
Have you ever heard of the expression, “He’s all talk?”
How many fights have you had wherein a significant person claims that you don’t know how to listen? Sometimes, you need to talk less and listen more.
Try it out for the shock value!
Imagine just how surprised people will be when you choose to listen to them this time around.

Need proof?

The Way Your Message is Conveyed.

Effective Listening Techniques
Encouraging
Pretending ignorance
Noting and reflecting emotions
Paraphrasing
Summarizing

How to be an Active ListenerCome in from the DARK!
Don’t interrupt – average is 12 seconds.
Ask questions ( but don’t overdo it) and acknowledge
the other “ Aha”, “I see”, “I understand.”
Respect the other by genuine interest and Repeat it!
“Did I understand you to say?”
Keep eye contact.

Active Listening Activity
http://www.ewu.edu/groups/studentlife/Active_Listeners%20.pdf

The Power of Words ~ Spoken and Unspoken
“By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.” --Winston Churchill
“The real art of conversation is not
only to say the right thing at the right
place but to leave unsaid the wrong
thing at the tempting moment.” –
Dorothy Nevill
“If you think little of a person, you ought to say as little as you think.”–Benjamin Franklin

Words can hurt or heal, validate or manipulate. What will your words express today?

Become Assertive
Describe – Explain your view
Disclose – Tell your feelings
Identify Effects – Show how this affects you
Be silent – Wait for response
Paraphrase – Restate their response – if not good enough start over at #1.

If we offend someone……We can’t “undo” the words but we can “apologize.”
http://www.bureauofcommunication.com/compose/apology

A proper apology should always include the following:http://www.perfectapology.com/apologizing.html
A detailed account of the situation
Acknowledgement of the hurt or damage done
Taking responsibility for the situation recognition of your role in the event
A statement of regret
Asking for forgiveness
a promise that it won't happen again
A form of restitution whenever possible

The Need to be Genuine
Source: http://www.ehow.com/how_5108620_genuine.html

Chapter 4 interpersonal communication

by Ray Brannon on Sep 08, 2011

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