http://80-Babes-Book.com
Around The World
In
80 Babes!
Nige 54

Dedicated to Woody, Brett, Marco and Rodney. To Hamish and Ian in the U.K.
and to Andy and Drew in L.A.
These are my best mates who were the reason, the inspiration and the major
factors that made this period of my life so unforgettable.
You guys are the greatest...let’s party again soon.
2

CONTENTS
1. The Awakening 4
2. Becoming “Nige 54” 8
3. Let’s Start the Insanity – it’s Contiki Time! 35
4. How to Get Laid – All of the Time! 61
5. Greek Island Madness 88
6. Wild Times in Western Europe 106
7. The Unqualified “Qualified Accountant” 118
8. The Beginning of a Love Story? 122
9. The Return of the Contiki King 140
10. Start Spreading the News… 155
11. U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A! 173
12. La La Land 90210 191
13. You Can’t Do That in Vancouver! 206
14. When the End is Just the Beginning 218
Acknowledgements 241
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CHAPTER 1
The Awakening
Having just brought my girlfriend to her third orgasm during an intense
forty minute session, I simply could not be bothered turning her over into every
guy’s favourite position and finishing this Saturday night like every one that had
preceded it for the last ten months. I had recently turned twenty-three, the year
1998 had a couple of months before its conclusion and even bending over my
hot babe of a girlfriend failed to hold my interest. I therefore pretended to
collapse from exhaustion and now lying there unable to sleep, I realised that I
could not even decide whom I wanted in my dreams. Surely, this could not be
good.
Do you remember 1998? It wasn’t really much of “news year” was it?
There were no major wars or epidemics nor were there any groundbreaking
developments in international policy or world diplomacy. Infact 1998 seemed
such a trivial news year that the two biggest stories that emerged were Bill
Clinton’s cigar antics with Monica Lewinski and the end of my favourite TV show
– ‘Seinfeld’.
Of course, if you were married, gave birth or someone close to you died,
perhaps that year brings back a rollercoaster of emotions. For me, 1998 did hold
some significance as I graduated from university with two hard-earned degrees
and had started my career with the world’s biggest accounting firm. But eight
months into this career as a graduate accountant (an auditor in the Financial
Services division to be exact), I considered the entire year unemotional and
lacking in pace as life just did not seem to be “happening”. Furthermore, in
fourteen months time it would be the Year 2000 and it seemed that everyone was
waiting in anticipation for this moment. The party invitations were already stuck to
the fridge and the Y2K solutions were in place. However, the anticipation of the
new millennium also failed to hold any interest as I wondered exactly what I
would be celebrating if my life continued in the same mundane direction.
I wanted a life like Michael Jordan, Tom Cruise or Jon Bon Jovi. These
guys lived the ultimate existence because when they were my age Michael would
be scorching the Knicks for forty points, Tom had just starred in “Top Gun” and
Jon travelled the world with one of the most popular rock ‘n’ roll bands of all time.
Approaching the age when these guys had “made it,” I started to wonder where
my talent lay. Where were all of the exciting times that were apparently certain to
come my way if I worked hard and became employed by a top tier firm? Would
working there actually enable me to make any kind of difference in this world and
above all else, shouldn’t I be shagging a greater variety of babes?
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Lying in bed and now unmotivated to even sleep, I acknowledged the sad
fact that life just did not seem all that interesting unless you were a sports hero,
movie star or rock ‘n’ roll god. In addition, the current economic boom meant that
you could be further categorised as “behind the times” unless you were also the
recently self-appointed Chief Executive Officer of a new dot com venture that you
had made up overnight, listed the next day, and according to your local stock
exchange – already had a net worth of ten million dollars!
Now, I admit that perhaps I was expecting way too much. Maybe I had to
accept that this was my life…I clenched my teeth and buried my head in the
pillow as I could never accept that argument. After having slaved through four
years of accounting and finance exams while sweating through a ridiculous
amount of first, second and final round interviews with a variety of top class firms,
I deserved more!
Thinking back to my first day at work, I was positive I had walked in with
an open mind and “the world is my oyster” mentality. Then with the right attitude,
I had chased managers on a daily basis and continued to be amazed at the lack
of work coming my way even after I had changed divisions in search of more
dynamic assignments. The approaching summer heat meant that our “busy time”
loomed, yet my days were still punctuated by filling in fax letterheads, the cover
pages for audit files or five-page long appraisal forms so I would be reviewed on
assignments I had been involved in for the grand total of two and a half days!
Could there be a better definition of the phrase “bored shitless?”
On a personal level, my social life did not excite me that much either. I
was two days away from ending a ten month relationship (my longest yet) with
the babe sleeping next to me and while I loved pounding her athletic body, she
bored me to tears with her desires to spend Saturday AND Sunday mornings
going for walks and picnics. Sure, I could handle this on the odd occasion and
sometimes even enjoyed being romantic, but I had always been of the belief that
after a hard week of filing audit confirmations and planning memos, that Saturday
and Sunday mornings were for sleep. I should be either recovering after a huge
night out on the town with the boys or rolling over for a morning shag as I basked
in the glow of not having to find the motivation to get out of bed and report to my
uninspiring managers.
To make matters worse, my two best mates were currently overseas
shagging their butts off with anything that pricked its ears up to an Aussie accent.
My buddy of twenty-one years, Brett, had struck the jackpot a couple of years
ago by scoring a role on a popular Australian soap that gave him more money,
fame and sex than he had ever imagined. He recently phoned me from London
during the after party of the pantomime he had finished performing and in a
drunken hysteria informed me about the ridiculous amounts of money he was
earning and the glamorous babes he had shagged. My other mate, Adam
(Woody, Ads, Woodmeister - he had a stack of nicknames) was also in London
partying with Brett after spending most of the year working around America in his
5

father’s business. So there they were in London, Brett and Woody, celebrating
their unrestricted access into the best nightclubs, the free drinks, an endless
supply of babes and they were leaving on a ski trip to Austria in three days time!
Whereas I remained in Melbourne showing them how two university degrees
earned after four years of hard work could make life so enjoyable. I drifted off to
sleep dreaming of a lifestyle that was the exact opposite to my current existence.
A few weeks later, when the 98/99 summer officially arrived things did
improve. After detaching myself from the picnic lifestyle and knowing that I could
now fart freely in bed, I became a happy man. In addition, I had started seeing a
lot more of my good friend Danielle as we re-established our role of “shagging
pals” first ventured into about fifteen months ago. I just loved going out to various
establishments with a quality babe knowing that I could behave any way I wanted
and would still be receiving a whole lot of wild action at the end of the night AND
as much sleep as I wanted the next morning. Danielle and I often described
ourselves as the “Jerry and Elaine” of our friendship group and having recently
left a complicated situation with “some guy,” Danielle also loved the guilt free sex.
She saw this arrangement as a great release from her flourishing career as a
fashion designer that kept her unbelievably busy during the week, while I saw it
as the highlight to what had been an otherwise non-eventful week in the world of
auditing.
On this particular occasion, a Saturday night in early December, Danielle
demanded we see the newly released movie ‘54’ starring Ryan Phillippe, Neve
Campbell, Salma Hayek and Mike Myers. Danielle had been looking forward to
seeing ‘54’ ever since she saw the previews while I knew nothing about the film
apart from it being based on a nightclub in New York back in the 70s. However, I
suppose that is why I became immediately interested to see the movie because
earlier in the year I had been totally mesmerised by ‘Boogie Nights’, a movie that
focussed on the same era. ‘Boogie Nights’ had blown me away with its depiction
of people becoming involved in porn with the hope that it would catapult them
into a better lifestyle so they could then chase their real life passion. It is a
strange comparison but this had been the exact same reason I had started work
with a large accounting firm. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life or how
to achieve it, so I viewed my position at the firm as some kind of catapult.
When Danielle and I sat down and ‘54’ began, I found myself becoming
addicted to a life I wanted as my own. Here was Shane, an average guy from a
working class family in New Jersey who became tired of going to the same bars,
with the same guys trying to pick up the same girls. His friends were content with
their position in life whereas Shane wanted more. For him, the dream was
located across the Hudson River in New York City at a place called Studio 54. To
gain entry into Studio 54 you had to have the right look for that particular evening
and if selected from the hoards of partygoers packing the footpaths outside the
velvet ropes, you entered the ultimate nightclub experience. The slogan written
across the front doors of Studio 54 read, “In here life is beautiful” and for Shane it
was “the place” to be.
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Those who have seen ‘54’ will know that it is by no means the best movie
ever made but it does highlight how Shane turned his life around and achieved
his dream. Once achieved and reality kicked in, his dream would crumble due to
an excess of sex, drugs and a disco beat that engulfed those willing to sample
the temptations. Nevertheless, during this time Shane experienced heaven and
in turn, the memories and the lessons learned would help place his future in a
positive direction that never would have been possible unless he had made the
initial decision to change.
Now why wasn’t I doing that?
Danielle and I discussed this at great length after the movie because this
would be the question that burnt a hole deep inside me. Throughout “54,” I
realised that I too needed to turn my life around because I wanted a version of
the lifestyle not only experienced by the characters in the film, but the actors that
played them. In real life, Ryan Phillippe and Neve Campbell were all my age.
They had the ultimate lifestyle involving fame, money and all the sex they wanted
and they were my age! Even my mates overseas who had a severely watered
down version of this were dominating in every aspect of their lives and they were
both MY AGE!
The following Monday, I arrived at work early and searched the internet for
Studio 54 websites to discover more about the history of this club and the
lifestyle it promoted. Amongst the many links, I came across a website dedicated
solely to Studio 54 where people had added various stories and comments about
their experiences. Reading about their adventures reminded me of many scenes
in the actual movie with one main theme standing out. During the late 70s, being
a regular at Studio 54, let alone working there as the head barman like Shane
was thrilling yet romantic, engrossing yet intriguing but above all else, that period
of approximately eighteen months when Studio 54 was at its height, had been
described by many as “absolute heaven.”
I knew immediately what I wanted! Too short to be a basketball star like
Mike, I could not act like Tom and I definitely could not sing like Jon, but if I could
experience a time in my life that could be defined as “absolute heaven”, even if it
was in some way destructive to my long-term goals, I had to find it.
No actually, trying to find it could result in a fruitless search - I had to
create it! I had to create my own version of “absolute heaven”.
7

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
My greatest difficultly in producing “AROUND THE WORLD IN 80
BABES!” was that throughout the writing of this novel I was already living the
sequel. So besides the constant distractions of further overseas adventures, the
research I undertook to discover how one goes about writing their first novel, the
thousands of ideas I experimented with, a couple of near death experiences and
the launch of my website www.nige54.com, there are some special people I
want to thank for continually inspiring me to get this thing done.
Ben Jackson does not appear in this novel as our association surfaces
half-way through the sequel to this book, but his friendship is now one of the
cornerstones of my life. Ben, or should I say “Spazman”, thank you mate for
showing me the secrets to the importance of my existence and for continuously
showing me how I can take myself to the next level whenever I desire.
To my amazing sister Sophie - you are the greatest Soph and I just love
how people are amazed at how close we are. Woohoo!
If my Mum and Dad have read this far it means they have not had a heart
attack after finding out what really happened when I was overseas. You are both
my heroes.
Special thanks go to my life long friend Beni-Dee Drayson whose
outstanding talent resulted in the sensational book cover that probably first
caught your eye. They say that you cannot judge a book by its cover, but thanks
to Beni, you most definitely can!
More thanks go to Paul Rocca, Scott Peacock, Christian Anderson, Adam
White, Clint Wood, Andy Wood, my number one cousin Roland Schmidmaier,
Karen Rippon (the Mallory Keaton to my Alex P. Keaton persona), my Contiki
buddies Klinton Wade, Ben Jones and Shannon Crackford, and to Damien Taylor
and Kaley Worsdall for diligently reviewing my work and offering their
inspirational thoughts.
And finally, to all of the amazing babes…thanks for putting out!
Don't forget the Google group and bonuses – details at:
http://80-Babes-Book.com
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