The Squeaky Clean Legacy 4.1: Second Generation Pink
The Squeaky Clean LegacyBy Professor ButtersChapter 4.1: Second Generation Pink
Hi. Im Mor+mer Goodytwoshoes, and this is one of my cats, Max. Well be hos+ng this chapter of the Squeaky Clean Legacy. My creator, Professor BuGers, always considered me disposable. She even named me Mor+mer aIer the phrase "Mor+mer dies" in The Fantas*cks. But then something funny happened-‐-‐she started to like me.
Im not kidding myself. Ive got a face that would stop a clock, and terrible taste in clothes. But she got me my beau+ful wife, Edith; kept my brother Abijah oﬀ her by cancelling the ac+on whenever he wanted to start an "innocent game of kicky bag," and motherloded me into a fabulous house.
She got me into the Landgrabb Society, just because she liked me. And now Im well on my way to fulﬁlling my lifes ambi+on as a Mad Scien+st.
Edith and I had a nice, big wedding, with the whole family there.
Heres our house. Telescope, robo+cs sta+on, chess table-‐-‐I mean, what more can a Knowledge Sim like me ask for?
Oh, yeah-‐-‐and a hot tub. Edith says those can be preGy nice.
She hasnt been this nice to all of us. For example, when my brother Abner got married to Vanessa Pederson, she hit "Try For Baby." You can imagine what happened next-‐-‐-‐
. . . and then Abner says she showed up just to gloat. . .
Author’s note: I feel no guilt about this. The twins weren’t my fault.At least my Simself worried about Vanessa: Abner just sat thereand ate grilled cheese. He has a nice career in the military, charmingtwins, and a safe spot in the Sim Bin.
Mom and Dad moved into a new house, only one story because as Renee (aka cowforbrains) once said, two stories means you lose track of Sims, and thats how Sims die. You can see Dads toy store on the leI.
Professor BuGers showed up to welcome them to the neighborhood, even though theyd always lived there. I think shes a liGle grossed out by Brandi Broke here.
Things were not easy for my sister Daisie Mae when she moved back in. She was moving along in the Science career and then gave herself mysterious diseases-‐-‐twice in a row-‐-‐and the disease took a toll on her logic, too. It took her forever to get beGer. Here she is, was+ng away like the heroine of a Victorian novel. We were all very worried.
Remington Harris had to move in to take care of her. And before you start to say "Ill just bet!"-‐-‐thats exactly what he did: take care of her, cook for her, and then he slept in the kids room. I dont think hes all that bright, but his hearts in the right place.
Its unusual to have a wedding at night, but that was the only +me to do it, because Daisie Mae had been so sick and she was going back to work the next day.
I thought this double smootch was kind of embarrassing, myself.
I dont know where Cassandra Goth got this extra boGle of champagne, and I have no idea why Remington felt a sudden impulse to play kicky bag with her.
He certainly took oﬀ for the honeymoon in a hurry, though.
Oh, boy. I dont want to know about this part, either, although I guess Im glad my parents have a happy marriage.
My sister, being a total space cadet. She was such a complete innocent, though she does know Moms rules: under her roof, there is only WooHoo between married couples, trying for babies. And I guess that happened right away.
And just when everyone was seGled down for a nice quiet Barbie Dream House kind of life, my sister Hopeful moved back from college in the middle of the night and lost no +me in invi+ng over her ﬁance, Count Jihoon. . .
Now heres something you dont see every day-‐-‐a combina+on crypt and beauty parlor. Hopeful built it in back. She decided to take Vamprocillin-‐D and work her way up the Slacker career-‐-‐and then she could invite Jihoon to move in and marry her.
Dont look so innocent, Mom. You did that on purpose!
Poor Remington. Hes s+ll cleaning up, even though my parents hired a new maid. Even the cats give him aZtude.
Mom taught Dreamboat here how to "shake," which was the last of the pet commands she had to learn. And then Dreamboat, whos at the top of the Security career and whos had her kiGens and paid her dues, was sent oﬀ to live with us and Max, where shell never get old.
Pregnancy with twins was hard on my sister. We hope it never happens again, because something went wrong and right aIer she gave birth, she went into aspira+onal failure on the bathroom ﬂoor. Twice in two minutes. The Sim Shrink kept visi+ng and meanwhile she was starving to death and too +red to eat. Professor BuGers confesses that she did something to save my sister, but she wont admit what.
It didnt help that there was a big ﬁre right before my sister gave birth, set by Mom. Mom, of all people! Mom knows perfectly well how to cook!
The funny thing about this is that most of the +me when Mom gave birth, she was all alone. Dad even drove away to work right in the middle once. And here everyone is standing around watching, and they cant do a thing to help my sister, who really was about to die.
And of course, it was twin boys, neither of whom can inherit the place. Doesnt it ﬁgure? Heres Tiny-‐-‐the other one is Joe. They have Daisie Maes real hair color, which is black (shh!). Its hard to tell whose eyes hes got, because both my sister and Remington have blue eyes, but it looks as though he may have inherited my Dads big mouth, poor kid. Well, if hes like me, he might snag a beau+ful wife anyway.
Daisie Mae ﬁnally recovered and went out to stargaze. Shes on maternity leave, but I think she wishes more than anything that she could go right back to work. She wants to be a Mad Scien+st like me, and shes probably about to be promoted.
Maybe this is the real reason why my parents gave me Max, but I dont care. Max is almost at the top of the Show Business career. Edith and I prac+cally dont have to work because the cats do so well ﬁnancially. Edith works for my parents toy business, and so does Julie, Sams wife. My parents dont like Edith and they keep wan+ng to ﬁre her, but her sales skills have helped them build it up to a level two business.
See? Dreamboat and me, living the life of Riley. I dont have to Try For Baby, and as the eldest of seven, I appreciate that. My cooking skills are tops and I can serve the cats Lobster Thermidor if I want to.
I never would have ﬁgured Hopeful as the maternal type, but shes great with the twins. This is Joe, and he deﬁnitely has Moms eyes.
Well, yes, the whole place is a liGle sickeningly cute, and theres a lot of handholding because frankly there isnt any room for another baby and thats about all they can do. But that snapdragon plant behind Remington and Daisie Mae is really, really useful. They have one in just about every room in the house and it makes having twins and cats tolerable.
Its Hopefuls crypt, but shed rather be in the main house watching the big screen TV. Daisie Mae likes to sneak oﬀ to eat dinner here, though, probably because its nice and quiet. Shes ea+ng pork chops, by the way. The whole family is crazy about pork chops-‐-‐which makes sense because almost everybody is named aIer the comic strip Lil Abner, who is always ea+ng pork chops. Remington and Hopeful are puZng on weight, but Daisie Mae never gains an ounce.
Remington brought home a new boyfriend for Darling, named Thay, which means "Teacher" in Vietnamese. Hes a Birman, and theyre famous for being Buddhist temple cats. Anyhow, we hope she likes him.
Heres the double birthday party for the twins.
Surprise! Joes a blond! And I think he looks a liGle bit like Remington.
Remington wanted to teach Joe how to talk right away. His ﬁrst word was "Daddy"-‐-‐or maybe it was "Remington."
Heres Joe, who looks a lot more like the rest of us, with his black hair.
Daisie Mae reached the top of the Science Career ladder, which was her lifelong dream. Now she says she wants to learn about everything-‐-‐but in any case, if she has more babies she wont go into failure like that again.
Hopeful reached the top of the Slacker career the same day, a testament to her ability to manage friends. The ﬁrst person she called was Count Jihoon, because now she can be a vampire and s+ll keep her job, and she wanted very, very much to be a vampire-‐-‐or just to be with him.
Boy was she happy to see him again. It had been a long +me!
They got married in the dead of night-‐-‐no guests. Hopeful took his last name, Young-‐-‐shes the only one of us who has changed it.
Hopeful says there are certain advantages to being married to a vampire.
When she woke up and found out, she was devastated.
She vowed that she would never, ever marry again, and that she would never date any man more than one +me. She could never forget Jihoon, but she would try to stay cheerful and go on dates. Lots and lots of dates. I asked her if in fact this wasnt exactly what shed always wanted in the ﬁrst place and she told me to shut up.
Trouble was, Hopeful was lousy at being a vampire. She kept geZng up in the middle of the day and ﬁnally she died. My mother pleaded with the Grim Reaper-‐-‐and won. Shes a very tough liGle lady. Meanwhile Dad said enough was enough and stomped oﬀ to the phone to order some vamprocillin.
Ive never seen a Sim need two energizer charges before. Hopeful was dying again of everything at once.
And then Dad ordered her to drink the vamprocillin and quit fooling around. We think shes cured, but shes s+ll got the red eyes and the blue lips.
With Count Jihoon gone, there was now room for a baby. It looks as though Remington and my sister took full advantage of the opportunity.
Well, Hopeful seems to be okay. You can see the blue sky through the shower curtains just behind her. And this is also why Hopeful didnt make a very good vampire. Shes much too playful and gets out of her coﬃn every +me she gets bored. Nope-‐-‐shes beGer oﬀ as she is.
On the other hand, Count Jihoon seems preGy annoyed about something. No doubt he feels hes been betrayed-‐-‐geZng married and then dying like that sure was a nasty coincidence, but it deﬁnitely wasnt Hopefuls fault. Poor Count Jihoon. But s+ll-‐-‐a ghost vampire-‐-‐can you imagine how cool? I know this sounds nerdy, but I wish Id been there.
There he is, popping out of the coﬃn that someone didnt let him use-‐-‐but was it Hopefuls fault that there werent two coﬃns? No-‐-‐I think we have to ascribe this to the same mysterious set of circumstances that got my brother Abner in the Sim Bin with a set of newborn twins.
Heres Joe. Grouchy, playful, like my brothers Abner and Abijah-‐-‐but sloppy? Who ever heard of a sloppy Goodytwoshoes? Except for-‐-‐um, Remington.
And heres Joe-‐-‐a real sweetheart and blond like his mom and grandmom. And his face is startlingly like Remingtons. I didnt mean that the way it came out. I mean, of course its like Remingtons-‐-‐who else would he look like?
Dad teaches Joe what is supposed to be in the human body-‐-‐
Darling, I dont mean this as a slight to either of you, but you eat like your father.
Meanwhile, Hopeful ran into Professor BuGers at a nightclub-‐-‐
And she seemed very embarrassed about something she said shed done.
Author’s note: Professors make lousy money, but that doesnt mean I shouldtake it out on Sims.
Daisie Mae gets caught in labor while trying to max her skills-‐-‐
And gives birth to a cute liGle-‐-‐BOY. Named Earthquake.
Daisie Mae: But are you sure, Hopeful? Remember, youre always welcome in our liGle home.
Hopeful: Yeah, trust me. I know exactly what Im doing. The Squeaky Clean heir has to be a girl. And the house was packed! Hopeful ﬁgured with her vampire looks the ﬁIy ﬁrst dates thing was way too hard, and her heart wasnt in it anyway. So she moved out on her own-‐-‐
And Remington sacriﬁced some more sleep. Poor Daisie Mae-‐-‐shes having the same roGen luck Mom did. I think shes on the verge of encouraging the boys to play in the street.
Meanwhile, Hopeful moved into a new liGle house she got through Motherlode Mortgage and Loan-‐-‐
-‐-‐furnished it with the stuﬀ from the old crypt at home plus an extra coﬃn, and called up the Grim Reaper to resurrect Count Jihoon.
And remarried, and Count Jihoon got his old job back as a Professional Party Guest like Hopeful.
Problem was, hes not any good at the vampire thing either! Heaven knows how he managed before he married Hopeful, but aIer a nasty sunburn, Hopeful lost her temper, yanked out her last two boGles of vamprocillin, and made Count Jihoon drink one. He celebrated by taking out the trash at 9 am for the ﬁrst +me probably in centuries and then boogying down with Hopeful.
Youll no+ce that Hopeful was wrong about her skin tone. AIer being biGen the third +me and drinking more vamprocillin, she went right back to looking the way she always has. Thats all Im going to say about this picture.
Count Jihoon: I just feel so at peace, you know? Like I dont want anything to change.
But I guess deep down, Hopefuls her mothers daughter. She may be a Pleasure Sim, but shes a family sim underneath. Or she got careless.
I dont think anything in centuries of unliving had prepared Count Jihoon for this. He should talk to Dad some +me.
Of course, wouldnt you know it, they had a girl on the ﬁrst try. Here she is, Countess Elizabeth, named aIer some rela+ve Jihoon says he had back in the old country, socking her vampiric daddy in the nose.
Well, with that ﬂurry of babies, Dreamboat and I will close out this chapter. Sam and Julie will bring you the next one, or maybe Hopeful and the Count, who knows? Un+l then, happy Simming!