Elaine: I’ve always dreamed of this day. I think every girl does, don’t
Ian: I really don’t know. I’ve never been a girl. But as long as you’re
happy, that’s all that maIers.
Elaine: And I wanted to tell you right away, Ian, because you’re the only
one who was so supporJve and I just knew we were both right. I sJll
don’t think my brothers are going to like it, especially not Palomides, but
I’m glad you decided to be my friend even if you don’t think I’m preIy.
Ian: I never said that. You know I never said that.
Ian: You’re always ﬁshing for compliments, aren’t you? Why do you do
that? It drives me out of my mind. Why do you always have to ask?
You’re objecJvely one of the most beauJful women I’ve ever seen, and
you wreck it by asking all the Jme. Why can’t you look in a mirror once
in a while?
Ian: Oh, forget it. I’m really happy for you, Elaine.
Gawaine: This Council of the Round Table is now in session.
Parsifal: This isn’t a round table, Gawaine. It’s oblong.
Gawaine: Shut up, Percy.
Gawaine: As you all know, Elaine has goIen herself engaged to a Maxis pre‐
made playable, thus giving us all untold grief and bringing on early gray hair.
We’re her brothers. We’re sworn to protect her. What do we do now?
Parsifal: Do? We have to support her, I suppose.
Parsifal: Brother, if you had paJence and purity of heart, you would have
had the wisdom to—
What I’m trying to say is that this might not have happened if you hadn’t
come down on Elaine like a ton of bricks.
Palomides: What were we supposed to do? We can’t lie and tell her it’s
all right. You know it isn’t.
Gawaine: I DO know it isn’t, but Percy’s right. ConfronJng her doesn’t
work. We’ll have to think of something, but right now I have no idea what
that is and you don’t know how much I hate saying that.
Palomides: So what you’re saying is that we’re going to wuss out.
Palomides: I can’t make it be all right! You know it’s not right. Thou
shalt not marry a playable. What’s next, Elaine? Motherlode?
We all follow the rules, even the spares, and you want to break them
because you’re the heiress? That makes no sense to me. Sorry, it doesn’t.
Palomides: I’m not going to tell you who to love. I won’t tell you who
you can marry. But don’t ask me to help you do something I think is
Back at his dorm, Angus writes his term paper. NoJce something
Angus: Do you have Jme for me? I haven’t talked to you in weeks.
Dusty: I’ve been really busy. It isn’t anything personal.
Angus: I mean, you’re probably daJng someone else by now and I don’t
Dusty: No, I really have been busy. I’ve been at work and the library and
then I crash. The only Jme I go out is when I tend bar.
Angus: If you’re that busy, you probably don’t have Jme to let me buy
you dinner, but it’s the only way I’m going to catch up with you, so. . .
Dusty: Maybe just this once.
Angus: It was just dinner. Dusty’s an old friend. It shouldn’t be such a
Dusty: Please, do, go on discussing me as though I wasn’t even there.
Elaine: But it should have been a big deal, Angus. We’re engaged to be
married. You love me. You shouldn’t even want to.
Angus: Look, you really don’t understand. It’s not my fault!
Dusty: I don’t have the Jme for this stuﬀ. I’ve got other things to do.
Angus: You see me and Dusty‐‐ Dusty and me—we’re Maxis premades.
We’re supposed to get together. We were going steady in high school. I
shouldn’t even have been a date drop. I guess I met you when I was on
Angus: And I just wanted to ﬁnd out whether or not I’m sJll physically
aIracted to her. Which I’m not. Well, not a lot. And that’s a good thing,
right, because at least I know and it won’t happen again.
Elaine: How can I believe that? How can I possibly believe that?
Angus: Look, it was your idea to get engaged, not mine. It’s not my fault.
Angus: I didn’t mean that. Oh, God, I didn’t mean that, Elaine, not that
way. You HAVE to forgive me. I sound like my mother. I don’t WANT to
be my mother.
I promise you it will never, ever happen again. I love you, Princess.
Elaine: He didn’t, he didn’t, he never did, I am so stupid.
Hedidn’thedidn’theneverdidI’msostupidhedidn’theneverdid. . .
Angus: Are you going to forgive me? Please say you’re going to forgive
me. I couldn’t stand it if you didn’t forgive me.
Elaine: Didn’tneverdidI’msostupid . . .
Angus: I promise I’ll come by tomorrow. I’ll make it up to you somehow.
Elaine: Excuse me Angus I have to go home now, bye.
Elaine: What did you do? What did you DO? It’s not all beIer now. You
can’t cheat yesterday and then come here today and . . .touch me. It
makes me sick to think of it ohgodsostupidsostupidsostupid,
Elaine: Get away from me. Don’t call, don’t write, don’t let me ever, ever
see you again. Away, now, beforebeforebefore . .
Angus: Elaine, wait, no. It will never, ever happen again. I just need
some Jme and some space.
Elaine: Well, you’re going to have PLENTY OF IT.
Max: A_er midnight. And nothing has happened, as I knew it would not.
To be continued . . .
Opening picture, “SJtching the Standard,” Frederic Leighton.
Closing picture, “Ophelia,” Arthur Hughes.
Thanks to: Orikes, Ian Legacina; DoctorSupremeNerd, Cassidy and Spider
Jerusalem VeJnari and her simself; Peasant007, Zane Devereaux. Pictures
from the VeJnari Dualegacy and the Devereaux Legacy.