Parsifal: It’s not as though the public displays of aﬀec7on are subtle.
Gawaine: They certainly aren’t.
Parsifal: And we are greatly concerned about you.
Gawaine: For one thing, we’re worried that he’ll skewer you to death
with his nose.
Parsifal: And I do wish you would think about your future children.
Gawaine: So as your brothers, we’ve decided to talk some sense into
you. We are sworn to protect you, from yourself if necessary.
Gawaine: In addi7on to which, you would be breaking legacy tradi7on.
Palomides: In addi7on to which, I just don’t like him.
Parsifal: Elaine, I talked to Uncle LyUon. He checked through everything
and there isn’t one single instance of a Goodytwoshoes heiress marrying
I’m so sorry.
Elaine: You’re all just envious because I have someone who loves me and
none of you do.
Palomides: Says who?
Palomides: I’ve been da7ng Stacie for weeks.
Elaine: I didn’t know that.
Palomides: You didn’t ask.
Elaine: You’re da7ng the girl who brings the groceries?
Palomides: What’s wrong with groceries? I love groceries. I bet there
are a lot of men who wish their girlfriends would bring them groceries.
Palomides: She’ll also preUy and nice and great company. I don’t care
what she does for a living.
Palomides: And I have to admit, she also pays some terriﬁc compliments.
Gawaine: So as your eldest brother, I’m going to have to forbid you to
see Angus Pleasant again.
Elaine: You forbid me? What do you mean, forbid? I’m not a liUle girl
anymore, Gawaine. You’re the eldest, but I am the heiress.
Elaine: And Angus and I love each other, which is something you’ll never
understand, and you can’t stop us!
Palomides: Elaine, please listen. I don’t like him. I don’t know why I
don’t, but I don’t. Something about him really creeps me out.
Elaine: Never mind! I can see you all you care about is the legacy. You
don’t care about me! You don’t want me to be happy! You just don’t
Parsifal: Well, that probably could have gone beUer.
Raquel Centowski: Mr. Goodytwoshoes? I’m here to arrest you for being
a chauvinis7c, insensi7ve jerk.
Gawaine: You’ve been talking to my sister, haven’t you?
Raquel: Just kidding. I’m really coming to take you to the secret society.
Gawaine: It doesn’t maUer. I probably deserve it.
You won’t see much of the other boys this 7me, but as unpleasant as
Bunthorne can be, he has endeared himself to me by doing this.
A LOT. He has become the fraternity’s unoﬃcial cowhunter.
Bunthorne: The ques7on is, cudbreath, are you feeling lucky?
Over at Goodygirls, a lot of da7ng is taking place.
Because Elaine is right. There really isn’t anything Gawaine, Parsifal, and
Palomides can do to stop her.
(Linus Hanby is also right. Elaine is very cute.)
Elaine: Don’t worry, Angus. I won’t let them break us up. They just don’t
Angus: You’re swell, Elaine. Did you know you smell like ( uh. . . What’s
that over there?) um, roses?
Elaine: You are so sweet! Mm, come here.
Regina: Sigh. Don’t mind me. I’m just on my way to class.
Elaine: Ian! I thought you didn’t really mean it about being friends.
Ian: Of course I did. I don’t say things I don’t mean.
Elaine: What a nice surprise! I wish you’d come ﬁve minutes earlier. I could
have introduced you to Angus.
Elaine: He’s my boyfriend.
Ian: Oh, right. I think Palomides men7oned him. If you like him, he must
be very nice.
Elaine: You’re the only one to say that. Palomides doesn’t like him, for
some reason. I don’t know why. Angus says I’m perfect and adorable.
Ian: Mm‐hm. Yes, it can be rough when your family doesn’t like
someone you love.
Elaine: He says I’m fascina7ng.
Ian: That’s good. I remember you said something like that once.
Elaine: He was just here and he said I smell like roses.
Ian: No. No, I’m sorry, Elaine, but that is just stupid. People do not smell
like ﬂowers. You deﬁnitely don’t.
Ian: People pay stupid compliments all the 7me. They say things like
“your eyes are as blue as the sky” when they aren’t at all. I don’t like that.
It rubs me the wrong way. It’s like lying, and I can’t stand people who lie.
I didn’t say you smelled bad. I said you didn’t smell like roses. Why would
you want to? Have you smelled a big bowl of potpourri?
Elaine: You say Angus is lying and I don’t smell like ﬂowers. How do you
Ian: You don’t believe me? All right. There is a ﬂoral smell there, but it’s
not roses. It’s lavender, and it’s probably in your shampoo, along with a
few other things. You use a grapefruit shower gel, and I’m gebng. . .
baby powder, and those are all overlays on top of your actual scent,
which is close to a really premium handmade Tahi7an vanilla ice cream.
Ian: I used to run a restaurant, and. . .well, with one thing and another, I
have a very acute sense of smell. Put it that way.
Sorry, that was probably a liUle freaky, but you asked.
Elaine: Thank you. . . I think?
Anyway, thank you for being so kind about Angus. It makes me sad that
my brothers don’t like him and I don’t have anyone I can talk to about it.
Ian: You’re welcome. Wait, did I just volunteer for something?
I men7oned that a lot of da7ng goes on at Goodygirls. Nino Caliente is
always good for a Dream Date, and he’s beginning to grow on me.
And of course, there are always Lenore and Zane, being sickly sweet and
sen7mental all over the place.
Regina: Sigh. I’m on my way to class now, guys. Don’t mind me.
The other good thing about all those dates is the date gids.
I know exactly how much he and his brother have, and I have no idea
how he aﬀords all the high‐end electronics.
Nino: Plas7c, baby!
Oh, well, there is that. Romance Sims don’t worry about things like
ﬁnance charges and APR.
Penelope: Just think of it, Dinadan. If you could have anything you wanted,
what would it be?
Penelope: Other than that.
Dinadan: More grandchildren.
Life has gone on as usual at the Squeaky Clean house, and since there is
only one kid led at home, there is plenty of 7me for Penelope to write
Excuse me, ﬁnish her novel.
Penelope: And it’s not even November!
No way of knowing what Penelope’s novel was about, but since the
family has tended towards Romance novels, it’s probably one of those
I took a lot of pictures of Penelope because I knew she would age up
She and Dinadan are both so cute, and so cute together, that I really
didn’t want to see them age.
However, they didn’t seem to care. Penelope kept wan7ng to Age Up
Well, and they invited a lot of friends and rela7ves to their joint birthday
Including, of course, Penelope’s two brothers.
Penelope: Glad you could make it, Brainbox!
Her father Jack Buccaneer hasn’t aged in a long 7me, because he and
Sophia moved out and re7red. This means that barring accidents, they
will be there when the legacy closes out Genera7on Ten.
Ulysses: *poofs into human form in the background*
Dinadan’s hair didn’t change at all. It’s the only 7me I have ever closed
the game in the middle of a party. I went looking for his hair, which is a
hard to ﬁnd Myos mesh, in gray. Because this was driving me crazy.
Dinadan: I understand you’ve met a young man, Elaine. Will you bring him
home to introduce him to us?
Elaine: Daddy, he’s a playable and my brothers don’t approve of him.
Dinadan: I’d s7ll like to meet him, honey.
Ulysses now has a family of his own. With no mo7ves dropping at night,
he’s able to maintain a serious garden.
This also means that he isn’t around for the birth of his daughter Molly.
Although he did no7ce. You can’t say he didn’t no7ce.
Molly is a Scorpio, and has a personality very like her daddy’s: 7/3/9/6/1.
She’s not going to win Miss Congeniality.
She’s named ader Molly Bloom, the wife of the main character in James
Joyce’s novel Ulysses.
Ulysses: Aw, she doesn’t need a nice personality.
She probably doesn’t. Between Ulysses and DocNerd, anyone who gives
her trouble is going to be killed, and by the 7me she’s a child she’ll
probably be able to take them down herself.
Plus, owing to Daddy’s farming eﬀorts, that kid is never going to have to
skill if she doesn’t want to.
Gilbert: This would be la pe3te Lenore.
Gilbert: You meet her in grade school.
Gilbert: You date her in high school.
Gilbert: It is, en eﬀet, the same girl.
Zane: I want to ask her to marry me, Dad. But I can’t do it unless I know
who I am.
Gilbert: Who you are? You are a Jacquet. You are the son of myself and
the beloved Cassidy. You know this. Do you think of us not as your real
papas? This would make me very sad.
And you, Zane: what do you do if you ﬁnd out the thing that makes you
unhappy? The thing you wish you did not know?
Zane: Then it’s something I should know, and something Lenore deserves
I really love her, Dad.
Gilbert: I understand this. This is why I ask: do not tell Cassidy what you
ﬁnd. Do not tell me. Not unless we ask it.
Gilbert: I know liUle of Cassidy before I meet him. It does not maUer,
yes? I know he was unhappy. I know he is not now unhappy. I do not
wish him to be again unhappy, you understand.
Zane: All right. Whatever I ﬁnd out, I keep it to myself.
Gilbert: And because you love her—bonne chance.
Zane: And Dad? You ARE my real Dads. I just want to know.
Cassidy: How’s college? Are you da7ng a lot? Jumping on couches?
Zane: There is this girl . . .
Dad, do you ever wonder who you really are?
Cassidy: I know when I’m happy. I know someone loves me. That’s who I
Cassidy: I don’t really need to know anything else.
Honeybun: Rauraurau. . .
Max: Very well, I will answer the door.
Max: Then you are en7rely unwelcome. A Ve7nari killed my father. You
have ﬁve minutes to depart before I commit a violent act on your person.
Spider Jerusalem: Listen up, sunshine, I don’t have anything to do with
Cypress. And you were a jerk to Cassidy, too.
I’m here because someone in your family was nice to me. It doesn’t
happen a lot, and when it does, I remember it. I pay favors back, and you
want what I have whether you know it or not, so you’d beUer let me in.
Spider Jerusalem: I have a package for you.
Max: Do tell.
Max: Hic . . .jacet . . . Secundus . . . Marius.
This. This is an insult.
Spider Jerusalem: You think it’s an insult? You didn’t want your father’s urn?
Because that’s not the impression I got. Penelope and her family told me that
prac7cally the only thing you cared about was the memory of your father. You don’t
want to know what I went through to get it for you. If you want, I can take it back.
Max: I will honor it, and for what it is worth, I thank you for returning it to his family,
and I ask you, once again, to leave.
Spider Jerusalem: I’m going. But you might like to watch that urn around midnight.
Max: Why ought I do to that?
Spider Jerusalem: BECAUSE I HAVE CONNECTIONS, THAT IS WHY.
Over at the Pleasantview playables’ dorm, life progresses as usual.
Perhaps it is a bit beUer than usual.
S7ll, nothing can make the Pleasant brothers get along.
Belle: Congratula7ons, Lionel! Dionne tells me you’re gebng straight As
in your classes so far.
Lionel: Thanks, Belle. I had a lot of ground to make up from high school,
and I’m in remedial everything, but I think it’s paying oﬀ.
Linus Burb: Um, Alex. . . I was wondering if you wanted to go have lunch
Alexandra Goth: Lunch? What do you mean, lunch? We live in the same
dorm. We have lunch together almost every day.
And if this is a date, forget it. I’m seeing Vespasian, and anyway, you’re
gay, in case you hadn’t ﬁgured that out.
Linus: Um, what? Me? No! I’m athle7c! I like football! I’m into sports!
Alex: Linus, do you even begin to realize how stupid you sound? Oh, God,
this is coming as news to you, isn’t it? Or is it?
Alex: You sit in the hall talking with Ethan every day. You’re there for
hours. OK, I could be wrong, but you look hungry. You’re too shy and
messed up to say anything, and I bet he feels the same way.
Linus: But you’re wrong. You HAVE to be wrong. If my aunt and uncle
Pleasant ﬁnd out, they’ll hit the ceiling, not that there’s anything to ﬁnd out.
Alex, we could solve this if you’d only date me.
Alex: Nope. I’m your friend, but there are limits to what I’ll do for you. Your
aunt and uncle are—clueless, is the nicest way I can put it. They’re the King
and Queen of Denial. You don’t want to be like them.
C’mon, one baby step at a 7me. Here’s what we do‐‐
Alex: Psst. Go ahead. What we prac3ced.
Linus: Oh, uh, hi, um, Ethan, right? My friend and I are going bowling.
Would you like to come along?
Ethan: Yeah! That sounds great!
Alex: See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?
Alex: See, no biggie, it’s not a date, it’s just an ou3ng.
Linus: But you’re going to be with me the whole 3me, right?
Alex: Guess again. I’m mee3ng Vespasian and I want to dance with him.
It’s bowling, Linus, it’s the most harmless ac3vity in the world.
Linus: So you men7oned something about what bands you like, and we both
thought Avatar was overrated, but do you like sports?
Ethan: Not . . .um, yes. Yes I do. How about those White Sox, huh? You think
they have a chance this year?
Linus: I hope not. I’m a Cubs fan. We get used to disappointment. Luckily, it’s
not baseball season yet.
Ethan: Oh. Well, let’s bowl, ok?
Linus: Either he’s crazy or he’s just trying to be nice. I haven’t hit the gym
in two weeks. Is he looking at me? He isn’t. He can’t tell.
Agh, whatever. If I focus, I can make this split.
Belle is a lot simpler and more straighforward and she’s da7ng Houston
Belle: You placed out of Basic Wri7ng? That’s fantas7c!
Lionel: Yeah, they had me take the test again and said I was a good writer
and now I can take Freshman Comp with everybody else. Mom and Dad
can’t believe I’m doing well in college. She said I’d never amount to
anything and I want her to see she was wrong.
Angus: Look at you, Elaine! You are so adorable and cute.
Elaine: Oh, STOP.
Angus: Thanks for asking me out again. Some7mes I just want to get
away from everyone in the dorm.
Elaine: I’m not ashamed of you, Angus. I love you. It doesn’t maUer
Elaine: And I was thinking—if you’d like to get away for a while, let’s go
to Woodland Park. It’s so preUy there and it’s where my mother and
father got engaged.
Angus: Actually—do we have to? I’d rather not.
Angus: I just don’t want to go to Pleasantview right now. It’s a long
drive, and I have a lot of assignments to do. It’s like everything I want to
get away from. Is that OK?
Elaine: Of course it is.
Angus: I knew you’d understand, Princess. You’re so sweet to me. And
so beau7ful and fascina7ng and adorable. And your eyes are blue like
eyes. You’re just . . .swell, Elaine. So can we forget about the park for
Elaine: And did you know he was a track star in high school? He doesn’t
do it anymore because his brother Lionel buUered the stairs and he broke
Elaine: Everyone is so mean to him, and he’s so hardworking and good.
It isn’t fair.
Elaine: And he calls me “Princess.”
Ian: Doesn’t everyone?
Elaine: No. You don’t. It’s terribly rude of you, but I’ll forgive you. This
7me. It’s partly a joke name. My brothers tease me that I’m like a
princess in a tower, because I’m the only girl, and that I’m so sensi7ve
that I can feel a pea through forty maUresses.
Ian: Sensi7ve can be good, but the tower sounds lonely.
Agh, did I just make that move? I didn’t mean that one, and I can’t take it
Zane: Well, here goes. I’m sure there’s something in the campus library. I
found my original birth cer7ﬁcate, and that’s probably a good place to
Zane: De la. . . Derrida . . . There’s nothing on the shelf about
“Devereaux,” and nothing about “Ve7nari,” either.
Zane: Online! Of course, everything is probably online. And then I’ll
know and I can ask Lenore to marry me.
Castor Nova: He’s got a one‐track mind, doesn’t he?
Zane: Let’s start with my Dads. “Jacquet”—Maxis pre‐made, baking
family, nothing unusual there. How about “Ve7nari?”
OK, all the Terry PratcheU stuﬀ probably isn’t relevant. But the Legacy—
that sounds genealogical. That might help.
Linus: Hey, Ethan, it’s been a while since I went to the gym. Would you
like to join me?
Linus: Could you spot me?
Ethan: OK, I’m spobng you.
Linus: That looks a liUle too fast for you.
Ethan: Stop, Linus! I just –have to stop.
Linus: What’s wrong?
Ethan: I was trying to be athle7c, but it was a really dumb idea. I’m
ﬂabby underneath the suit and I couldn’t tell you the diﬀerence between
soccer and football. I was just trying to impress you, but I should have
Linus: You? Were trying to impress me? What for?
Ethan: You’re one of those really ac7ve athle7c guys, and gah, never
mind, I should have known beUer.
Linus: Why do you need to impress anyone? You’re all preppy and cute.
Ethan: Cute? Really? You meant to say “cute”?
Angus: Oh, not them, too.
Linus: I didn’t come out of the closet to be subtle. You don’t like it, eat
Lionel: Lighten up. Leave Linus alone.
Angus: I didn’t say anything to Linus. I don’t care. Mom’s not going to
like it, but. . .
Lionel: You know what I think of Mom? Mom is crazy, that’s what, and
so is Dad. He thinks she’s a good liUle housewife. SHE thinks she’s a
good liUle housewife. Every single 7me, it doesn’t count, because she
was upset, or nervous, or she had too much juice.
Angus: Shut up about Mom.
Lionel: Oh, wake UP, Angus. We come home from school, she says she
was taking a nap, there’s underwear all over the stairs . ..
Angus: You shut up about Mom!
Lionel: I don’t care. You hit me, I’ll hit you back harder, and the truth’s
s7ll the truth. You’re going to be as big of a liar as she is and you won’t
Dionne: Stop it! You stop it!
Angus: He was saying stuﬀ about Mom. Right in front of everyone.
NOBODY says stuﬀ about my mother.
Dionne: I don’t care, Angus! I don’t care who did what to whom or who
started it. The next person who lays a ﬁnger on anyone, I’m calling
Security. And that goes for you, too, Lionel. Don’t think I won’t do it,
because I will.
Even with all the drama, the semester eventually comes to an end, even
if it feels like the longest semester on the planet. Everyone gets 4.0s,
even Belle, who ﬁnds it hard to focus.
Belle: Angus? Everyone got As.
Dusty: You did well. You should be proud of yourself.
Angus: That’s just it. Everyone did well.
Elaine: I thought maybe since you didn’t want to go all the way to
Woodland Park, Chestnut Park isn’t nearly as far, and it’s almost as nice.
Elaine: And this is my favorite part of the park. Isn’t it preUy?
Angus: Yeah. It’s really preUy, Elaine. I like it.
Elaine: Sigh. He’s supposed to know what I’m feeling. If he doesn’t know,
it doesn’t count.
Angus: Thanks. That hurt. I got into another ﬁght with Lionel and he’s
bigger than I am.
Elaine: That’s terrible! What was it all about?
Angus: He was saying things about our mother. I really don’t want to
talk about it. I don’t even want to think about it.
Elaine: You always have me, Angus.
Angus: Well, good, because I really need you, Princess.
Elaine: Marry me, Angus. I knew you were the right boy for me when
you were the ﬁrst boy. We love each other and we’ll take care of each
other, and we won’t need anyone but each other and I’ll never let anyone
hurt you again.