Squeaky Clean Legacy 17.1: Looking For Love, Part Two

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Squeaky Clean Legacy 17.1: Looking For Love, Part Two

  1. 1. The Squeaky Clean Legacy, 17.1: Looking For Love Part Two
  2. 2. In
Part
One,
our
Genera.on
Nine
heiress
had
renewed
her
acquaintance
with
 Angus
Pleasant.


 Her
brother
Palomides
opined
as
follows:

  3. 3. Palomides:

Oh,
EUGGH.
 Gawaine:

Excuse
me,
Palomides,
is
there
something
going
on
that
I
 ought
to
be
informed
about
immediately?
 Palomides:

No,
of
course
not.

Listen,
Elaine,
don’t
burn
your
boats,
 okay?

There’s
a
friend
of
mine
I
really,
really
want
you
to
meet.

  4. 4. Palomides:

Ian!
Great
to
see
you!

  5. 5. Ian
Legacina:

Remind
me
why
we’re
friends
again?
 Palomides:
Because
of
my
charm,
emo.onal
support,
and
general
 awesomeness?

  6. 6. Ian:

Yes,
but
your
family
is
always
trying
to
sell
me
something.

Pinball
 machines,
ice
cream,
light
up
reindeer—I
always
go
home
with
 something
I
hadn’t
really
planned
on.
 Palomides:

What,
the
light
up
reindeer
didn’t
light
up
or
something?
 Ian:

It
did,
but
that’s
not
the
point.


 Palomides:

This
isn’t
like
this
at
all.

There’s
this
guy
who’s
interested
in
 my
sister,
and
she’s
too
good
for
him.

I
thought
I’d
introduce
you
 and
.

.

.
 Ian:
Sell
me
on
the
idea
of
da.ng
her?

No
thanks.

  7. 7. Palomides:

You’ll
change
your
mind
aQer
you
see
her.

Oh,
I
see
you
 already
have.

  8. 8. Palomides:

Psst.

Cute,
huh?

Gorgeous,
huh?

I
think
you
guys
would
 make
the
perfect
couple,
but
don’t
let
me
pressure
you
into
anything.

  9. 9. *awkward
silence*
 Ian:

Do
you
some.mes
have
the
urge
to
stab
your
brother
in
the
eye?
 Elaine:

Funny,
that
hadn’t
occurred
to
me
before,
but
it
sounds
like
a
 very
good
idea.

  10. 10. Elaine:

Please
forgive
him.

I’m
sure
he
meant
well.

 Ian:

Don’t
worry
about
it.

Everything
he’s
pressured
me
into
has
been
 very
cute.

Especially
the
light
up
reindeer.



 Elaine:

How
are
your
pork
chops?

They’re
a
family
tradi.on.
 Ian:

They’re
fine.

One
thing
that
interests
me
about
your
family
is
the
 way
that
they
remind
me
of
my
family.

  11. 11. Parsifal:

Even
those
who
are
pure
of
heart
require
pork
chops.
 Ian:

Especially
in
the
way
they
don’t
have
anything
in
common
at
all.

  12. 12. Elaine:

We
aren’t
a
very
adventurous
family,
it’s
true.

And
you
probably
 think
our
custom
content
is
silly.

  13. 13. Ian:

I
wouldn’t
say
that.

Your
town
is
very
different
from
Terra
Lostundo,
but
 I’ve
enjoyed
the
peace
and
quiet.

It’s
nice
to
be
somewhere
where
maniacs
 don’t
disrupt
everything,
including
the
weather
paZerns.

And
everyone
I’ve
 met
from
your
family
has
been
very
nice,
even
Palomides.



  14. 14. Elaine:

.
.
.
I’m, um. . . Conflicted?  He’s so handsome. He’s got such pre9y  red hair.  And he’s really nice!  And I can tell he’s an interes>ng person  from an interes>ng place.  And I’d really like. . .   . . . But what kind of True Love starts with a fix up from your brother?

  15. 15. As
opposed
to
a
fix
up
from
the
matchmaker?

  16. 16. Nausicaa:

I
think
I
recognize
him.

Are
you
sure?
 Matchmaker:

Look,
you
ask
for
a
date,
I
get
you
a
nice
high
chemistry
 date.

I
don’t
do
character
references
or
background
checks.

  17. 17. Nausicaa:

But
Nino
Caliente?

Doesn’t
he
have
a
bad
reputa.on?
 Oh,
well,
he’s
here.

I
might
as
well
try.

  18. 18. Nausicaa:

He’s shy!  I wasn’t expec>ng that.

  19. 19. A
date
where
both
par.es
are
there
in
order
to
humor
someone
else‐‐

  20. 20. ‐‐let’s
say
the
poten.al
isn’t
very
good.

  21. 21. Ian:

You
must
be
one
of
Elaine’s
sorority
sisters.


 Blonde
girl:

No,
I’m
just
a
random
dormie
walk
by.

Is
that
your
date
back
 there?
 Ian:

Oh,
right.

  22. 22. Ian:

I’m
sorry,
Elaine.

I
was
up
late.

  23. 23. Ian:

Now,
what
were
you
saying?
 Elaine:

A bad conversa>on!  He thinks what I’m saying is boring.  Isn’t he  supposed to like everything I say?
 Elaine
really
does
give
it
her
best
shot.

  24. 24. Elaine:

I’m
sorry,
I
didn’t
mean
to
spend
so
much
.me
talking
about
 romance
novels.

Maybe
you’d
like
to
play
kicky
bag?

  25. 25. And
aQer
a
while,
the
ice
was
broken
and
they
were
both
having
a
nice
 .me.

  26. 26. Elaine:

Hey!  He’s fun!  I’m actually having fun!

  27. 27. Elaine:

But it’s not easy.  There are some awkward moments!  And isn’t  there supposed to be irresis>ble chemistry?  Wouldn’t I know when my  love comes along?  And my brother fixed us up! And I’m embarrassed. 

  28. 28. Elaine:

Psst, Regina, interrupt?  Please?  Help?

  29. 29. Elaine:

Psst!

Mr.
Legacina?
 Ian:

Now
you’re
making
me
feel
old.

I’m
Ian.
 Elaine:

Am
I
roman.c?

Fascina.ng?

Beau.ful?

Do
you
adore
me?

  30. 30. Ian:

Can
I
say
all
that
on
the
first
date?

Why
would
you
trust
me
if
I
did?

 You
must
know
you’re
beau.ful.

You
don’t
need
me
to
tell
you
so.

I
can’t
 make you
more
beau.ful.


But
to
answer
your
ques.ons:

maybe
you’re
a
liZle
 too
roman.c.

And
I
don’t
adore
you.

I
think
moving
fast
is
a
really
bad
idea.

 But
you
are
really
interes.ng
and
I
like
you
and
I
hope
we
can
be
friends.
 Elaine:

Friends.  If he was going to love me, he would never say we could be  friends. 
  31. 31. Ian:
 Maybe she is a li9le fascina>ng.  It’s impossible not to find her charming.   And she wears her heart on her sleeve.  That’s sweet.  But it’s also scary.  She wants too much, too fast.  And I don’t do that anymore.  I  learned that the hard way.  Too bad.  I hate to give up on her.

  32. 32. Elaine:

Why
is
there
a
dancing
Roman
in
here?
 Because
you
invited
him
in.

  33. 33. Nausicaa:

Has
Nino
been
raking
ever
since
I
went
to
class?

  34. 34. Yes,
he
has.
 Nausicaa:

That’s so sweet! But he probably only wants one thing.  

  35. 35. Nino:

It’s
really
nice
just
si^ng
here
and
talking
to
you.

I
never
went
to
 college,
and
I
don’t
get
much
of
a
chance—I
mean,
people
aren’t
usually
 interested
in
talking—
 What
I
mean
to
say
is
that
when
I’ve
dated,
um,
other
people,
things
 usually
are
about—
 Well,
I’m
not
saying
this
right,
but
it’s
nice
to
talk
to
someone
who
wants
 to
listen
to
me.

  36. 36. Marcus:

I
love
making
friends.

Are
you
Elaine’s
friend?
 Ian:

I
hope
I
am.


I’m
a
friend
of
the
family.

  37. 37. Nino:
And
you
like
dancing
with
me
and
everything?

  38. 38. Hmm.

Nino
Caliente.

Nausicaa
wants
FiQy
Dream
Dates
and
maybe
it’s
not
a
 good
idea
with
him,
but
on
the
other
hand,
based
on
the
way
he’s
ac.ng—
 Maybe
he’s
beZer
than
everybody
thought.

  39. 39. Alexandra
Goth:

Thanks
for
joining
me,
Vespasian.

It’s
nice
to
get
away
from
 all
the
drama.


 Vespasian:

You
mean
the
way
everyone
in
town
is
living
some
kind
of
soap
 opera?
 Alexandra:

It
drives
me
crazy.

Dad’s
all
right
and
Caspian’s
all
right—mostly,
 but
they
don’t
always
make
great
choices.

Even
Mom—well,
we
don’t
talk
 about
her
anymore.
 But
all
the
grownups
have
such
messy
rela.onships.

They
think
kids
don’t
 no.ce,
but
we
do.

I
hoped
we’d
all
get
out
of
it
when
we
came
to
college,
but
 some
people
brought
it
along.

At
least
your
family
is
preZy
normal.

  40. 40. Vespasian:

Funny
you
say
that.

My
family
leQ
our
home
town
to
get
 away
from
all
the
drama,
too.
 Alexandra:

Messy
rela.onships?
 Vespasian:

Mostly
serial
murders.


 Alexandra:

Oh.
 Vespasian:
So
my
great‐great
grandfather
Marcellus
packed
up,
leQ
 Rome,
and
never
looked
back.

  41. 41. Vespasian:

I
don’t
think
we
even
think
about
being
Caesars
anymore.

 Grandpa
Domi.an
just
calls
himself
“Mr.
Caesar.”

And
my
grandma
 Diana’s
a
Goodytwoshoes.

She
doesn’t
seem
to
know
anything.

Grandpa
 even
calls
her
“Empress”
as
a
pet
name
and
she
s.ll
doesn’t
get
it.
 Grandma’s
not
the
sharpest
knife
in
the
drawer,
but
it’s
kind
of
cute.

  42. 42. Vespasian:

Speaking
of
messy
rela.onships,
I
thought
you
were
da.ng
 Linus
Burb.

  43. 43. Alexandra:

Linus?  Linus is a terrific friend.

  44. 44. Alexandra:

But no.

  45. 45. Vespasian:

That’s
good.

I
don’t
think
people
who
are
da.ng
should
see
 other
people
that
the
people
they’re
da.ng
don’t
know
about,
even
 when
the
other
people
are
just
friends,
not
that
you’re
da.ng
Linus.

It’s
 just
a
good
thing
to
know.

  46. 46. Alexandra:

Anyway,
thanks
for
coming
and
having
lunch
with
me,
 Vespasian.

I
always
feel
beZer
aQer
talking
to
you.

I’m
really
glad
I
have
 you.

  47. 47. Vespasian:

Um,
thanks.

  48. 48. Alexandra:

Agh, awkward.  How do I do this?

  49. 49. Alexandra:

I
mean,
I’m
really,
really
glad
I
have
you.

A
lot.
 *s.cky
hug*
 Vespasian:

Do
you
want
to
let
go?
 Alexandra:

Not
really.


 Vespasian:

Good.
Don’t.

  50. 50. Some.mes
things
get
decided
without
having
much
of
a
discussion.

  51. 51. Max:

Grandpapa,

what
.me
is
it
where
you
are?



  52. 52. Cecil:

Extremely
late
evening.

Surely
you
are
aware
that
there
is
a
 substan.al
.me
zone
difference
between
you
and
Takemizu.

  53. 53. Max:

Yes,
I
did
know,
which
is
why
I
asked.
In
other
words,
you
are
calling
 in
the
middle
of
the
night.

What
is
going
on
that
is
so
important
that
you
 have
to
call
in
the
middle
of
the
night?

Is
anything
wrong
with
Mama?

  54. 54. Cecil:

There
is
nothing
wrong
with
your
Mama,
and
the
.me
of
day
is
 immaterial
to
me.

I
simply
wished
to
inform
you
of
our
progress.
.
.

 Max:

.
.
.
In curing whatever is not wrong with Mama.  Go ahead.


  55. 55. Cecil:

We did, as you may have surmised, seek out the Wise Old Man of  Takemizu.  

  56. 56. Cecil:

I felt it might be useful to consult him aRer the Indigenous  Physician suggested it, although aRer he had presented me with a doll, I  was not especially sanguine about his judgment.

  57. 57. Wise
Old
Man:

Humility
is
indeed
the
key.

  58. 58. Wise
Old
Man:

But
Mr.
Goodytwoshoes,
you
are
far
from
being
humble.


 .
.
.
AND
you
are
impa.ent.


 What
has
been
must
be
and
what
is
is,
but
what
might
be
is
not
 necessarily
what
is
if
what
has
been
is
what
is.

Tea?

No?

  59. 59. Wise
Old
Man:

Then
let
me
tell
you
an
en.rely
unrelated
liZle
story.

  60. 60. Wise
Old
Man:

Are
you
si^ng
comfortably?

Then
I
shall
begin.



  61. 61. Wise
Old
Man:

Once
upon
a
.me
.
.
.

  62. 62. Wise
Old
Man:


.
.
.there
was
a
lovely
and
innocent
young
maiden.

She
 was
humble
and
unfailingly
obedient
to
her
elders.

  63. 63. Wise
Old
Man:

Then
great
distress
fell
upon
the
maiden.

The
horrors
of
 Wrong,
Injus.ce,
and
Death
came
into
her
peaceful
existence.

 She
had
always
been
pa.ent
and
obedient.

She
had
never
known
that
 pa.ence
and
obedience
were
not
always
a
defense
against
adversity.

  64. 64. Her
elders
had
failed
her.

Her
educa.on
had
failed
her.

She
did
not
know
 what
to
do,
and
so
she
was
able
to
do
nothing.

  65. 65. Wise
Old
Man:

She
sought
for
help
in
the
most
unlikely
of
places.

  66. 66. Wise
Old
Man:

An
otherwise
unremarkable
tourist
site
became
a
place
 for
her
to
beg
for
wisdom
and
strength
and
star.ng
anew.



  67. 67. Wise
Old
Man:

And
something
new
happened:

a
dragon
appeared
to
her.


 Cecil:
This
led
to
a
happy
ending,
did
it?
 Wise
Old
Man:

It
was
a
very
happy
ending
for
the
dragon.

  68. 68. Wise
Old
Man:

I
hope
this
has
given
you
food
for
thought.

  69. 69. Cecil:

Yes.

Yes
it
has.



  70. 70. Wise
Old
Man:

Perhaps
you
would
like
to
purchase
some
tea
from
our
giQ
 shop.

It
is
grown
locally.

It
is
very
nice.


 As
for
your
daughter.
.
.


  71. 71. Wise
Old
Man:

Why
not
take
her
fishing?

  72. 72. Wise
Old
Man:

She seems to enjoy fishing.

  73. 73. Wise
Old
Man:

Well,
that’s
enough
esoteric
wisdom
for
one
day.

 Whoopsy
daisy!

  74. 74. Cecil:

Tea.

Fishing.

He
suggested
tea
and
fishing.


 I
must
admit
that
I
almost
became
slightly
irritated.



  75. 75. Max:

Hmm.

Grandpapa,
I
have
an
en.rely
radical
sugges.on.

  76. 76. Max:

Why
don’t
you,
for
the
first
.me
in
your
life,
try
DOING
WHAT
 SOMEONE
TELLS
YOU.

  77. 77. Max:

And
send
me
the
tea.

Hello?

Grandpapa?

Hello?
 Sigh.

  78. 78. Cecilia:
Oh,
please.

  79. 79. Please. 
  80. 80. Elaine:

Sigh.  Zane and Lenore have the perfect rela>onship.

  81. 81. Do
they
really?

They
don’t
have
arguments,
but
that’s
because
Zane
 agrees
with
everything
Lenore
says.


 Lenore:

And
sports.

Why
do
people
have
to
talk
about
sports?
That’s
 another
thing
I
don’t
like.

Just
thinking
about
it
makes
me
annoyed.



  82. 82. Zane:

If
you
loathe
sports
I
shall
loathe
them
too,
darling.

  83. 83. Lenore:
Hold
the
phone.

You’re
not
going
to
disagree
at
all?

Ever?

 You’re
not
even
going
to
think
about
it?
 Zane:

But
you
are
prac.cally
perfect
in
every
way!
 Lenore:

Oh,
well.

  84. 84. Lenore:

It’s
hard
to
resist
this
kind
of
thing.

  85. 85. So
maybe
it
isn’t
the
perfect
rela.onship.

  86. 86. But
they
are
awfully,
awfully
cute
together,
and
insulin
shock
from
all
the
 sugary
sweetness
is
a
small
price
to
pay.

  87. 87. Elaine:

Sigh.  I should be so lucky.

  88. 88. Angus:

Thanks
for
joining
me,
Elaine.

I
had
to
get
away
from
Lionel.

He
 keeps
hi^ng
me
when
I’m
just
trying
to
study,
and
no
one
else
seems
to
 care.

Some.mes
I
think
you’re
my
only
real
friend.
 Elaine:

Poor
Angus.

  89. 89. Angus:

And
besides.
.
.
I
keep
remembering
our
date
last
year.

I
wanted
 to
tell
you
how
swell
I
think
you
are.



  90. 90. Angus:

You’re
so
graceful.
.
.and
beau.ful,
and
there’s
something
about
 you
that
just
fills
the
world
with
Romance.

It’s
like.
.
.Valen.ne’s
Day
with
 you
all
year
round.

  91. 91. Elaine:

Oh,
STOP.
 Angus:

No,
really.
There’s
something
special
about
you.

Look
at
you.

 You’re
absolutely
adorable.

There’s
only
one
thing
wrong
with
you.
 Elaine:

There’s
something
wrong
with
me?

  92. 92. Angus:

You’re
all
the
way
over
there.

  93. 93. Angus:

Is
that
beZer?

Don’t
you
feel
more
comfortable
here?



  94. 94. Opening
picture:
John
William
Waterhouse,
Psyche Opening The Golden Box.  Closing
picture:
John
William
Waterhouse,
The Soul of the Rose.  Credits:

Ian
Legacina,
Orikes,
Pseudo Legacy.  Zane
Devereaux,
Peasant007,
Devereaux Legacy.


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