The Squeaky Clean Legacy, 16.6: Quest for True Love
When we last le+ the Goodytwoshoes, our ninth genera5on
heiress Elaine had just grown up to be a Romance Sim, the ﬁrst
in Squeaky Clean history. And she immediately re5red to her
tower room to dream.
I wouldn’t want to give the impression that Elaine is a narcissist. What
she wants is to be loved. So, naturally, she is prac5cing Romance.
Elaine: And then he’ll gaze at me, and at the ﬁrst glance—no, he’ll see
me from afar, and leave a white rose every—no, he’ll kiss me as soon as
we meet, like Daddy and Mom, or he’ll court me in disguise, like Grandpa
Jack, or sweep me oﬀ my feet like Great Grandpa Nelson. . .
The gentlemen of the family have much to answer for. If Elaine’s
expecta5ons are a bit unrealis5c, it’s not too surprising.
S5ll, the girl has three older brothers. You’d think that would be a clue.
Gawaine: Oh, we’re seTled in all right. How is Elaine? We’re all ready to be
overprotec5ve and harass her boyfriends. What Aspira5on did she roll?
Dinadan: Elaine is ﬁne. I’ll let her tell you herself. You might like to
concentrate on yourself, Gawaine. In fact, I think you probably need
Gawaine: How did you know?
Dinadan: You’re a college freshman coming home for a visit. Of course you
Penelope: Ulysses took all the snapdragons when he moved out of the
Greek House, so I made you some new ones.
Gawaine: Mom, we’re knights, Parsifal and Palomides and I. We can
tolerate extreme depriva5on and –
And thank you, Mom.
Elaine, however, is working on the tradi5onal ﬂower‐arranging badge,
and if Goodygirls, the Legacy sorority, needs snaps, she’ll have to make
She’s also du5fully earning her other scholarships, including topping her
Teen career . . .
. . .but despite this, she always seems to be dreaming about something
Nelson Penguino, from the Penguino Legacy, was our Genera5on Six husband,
and I always think of this as Nelson’s penguin. It seems very enthusias5c about
the golden trout Killick just caught to bring us back to the full collec5on Ruby
had before the move.
Penelope: I’m going to pass the Connec5ons Perks on to you, Elaine.
You’ll ﬁnd them really helpful, especially as a Romance Sim.
Penelope: Even if we have to come to the ice cream store to do it.
Oh, look! More gender‐reversed townies! Love the exterminator guy.
Passing Along Perks takes so long that I usually take the Sims to a community
lot to do it. This has the disadvantage of being surrounded by customers‐‐
‐‐but hey, we can always ignore them.
Apollo Bohemian: They have the Best of the Best award! I’m sure they’ll
be wai5ng on me any 5me now.
Any 5me now.
Apollo is an op5mist.
Penelope: Very nice, Elaine. I’m really impressed by how hard you’re
Ghost of Nelson Penguino: BEWARE.
A quick update on the other teenagers before Uni:
Lenore scored her ﬁrst kiss from Zane Marius‐Jacquet.
Zane: I must be the luckiest boy in the world.
Zane, you have no idea.
The oﬃcial Marian Legacy house is doing well, too. Pen and Decimus are s5ll
5cking along, having lived to see their great‐grandson.
Penguingirl writes the Penguino Legacy.
The current couple is Sextus Marius and his wife Purple Bunny, author of
the Pira/cal Legacy.
And I hate to tell you guys, but this ex5nguisher picture is now your
oﬃcial couples portrait.
Romans set ﬁre to things.
Well, it’s a Pleasure Sim household. They’re easily distracted by shinies.
Other PB: So I said‐a my HOME
Is much be=er than ROME,
But what the heck, baby,
Like, so is NOME.
Orikes: Whoo! Tell it!
A very Pleasure Sim household.
To be fair, Orikes just ﬁnished oﬀ all the oﬃcial portraits.
(Note ex5nguisher portrait at right.)
With all the excitement, Duodecimus again grew up with no witnesses.
Duodecimus: You used a lot of age cheats, really.
Yes, I really did.
But the results were worth it, don’t you think?
Duodecimus rolled Fortune, and I hate to say this, but that’s going to be a
Checking in with another Roman household. Earnest is my grandson, and
Earnest: I’d like to Encourage you to be Neat, Worthing.
*Roman family trees tangle like a mangrove swamp. Don’t ask.
Earnest: Just because.
Because most Romans are Neat, at least in my neighborhood, and
besides, it’s really funny to watch.
Meanwhile, Worthing’s mother Madeleine is out tending the family’s
And his father Algernon is coming home from work.
Algernon: I just got demoted! Come give Daddy a hug!
Madeleine: I’m glad you could make it to dinner, Mr. Marius, It’s always a
pleasure to meet one of Algernon’s rela5ves. Um—did we actually invite you?
Flavius: No, just wanted some more face 5me. Did Algernon ever show you
one of the old Pleasantview coins of me? They did a great job. It looked
something like this.
Flavius: Sigh. Good 5mes.
Worthing: Mom Mom Mom! I got an A+!
Even with age cheats, I always play children un5l they have an A+.
De/Fireﬂower 314: Happy birthday, Worthing! Have you decided what
Aspira5on to be yet?
De: Have you thought of being a Romance Sim? I always like Romance Sims.
Worthing: Really? I’ll think about it, Great‐Great Grandaun5e De.
Worthing: No. I like Great‐Great Grandaun5e De’s idea. Might as well
run with it, right?
Twenty Simultaneous Lovers. De, I am blaming you. I have too many
Sims with turnons for red hair.
No! Not good! Not good at all!
Vespasian: Aw, lookit the preTy ﬁreﬂies.
Right. You can let those out right now.
Romans have a lot in common. For example, did I men5on they set ﬁre
to things? Domi5an Caesar isn’t an excep5on. Incidentally,
congratula5ons on the Aspira5on loss, which I don’t see very o+en.
There are also a lot of Roman Pleasure Sims running around. Vespasian’s
grandfather Domi5an is no excep5on, which is how he earned the
Volcano God pinball machine.
Also, did I men5on that I always play children un5l they earn an A+, no maTer
how Playful they are? Well, I do. Vespasian’s daddy Titus is a Family Sim, and
Vespasian: I got an A+!
Don’t tell him that all the kids get A+s here. It’s a big deal to him.
And it made him really happy before his birthday.
Vespasian rolled Family, just like his daddy and his mother, the former Meadow
Thayer, with the LTW Captain Hero.
Oh, all right, it might have been Marry Oﬀ Six Children.
And then Raise 20 Puppies and KiTens.
And then, mysteriously, it changed.
Vespasian makes up the full allotment of Romans who will join Marcus (again)
at Sim State: Duodecimus, Worthing, and Zane.
I men5oned that all my Sims get played un5l they have A+s? It doesn’t maTer
how disadvantaged they are.
Dusty: Look, Dad!
Brandon Broke is thrilled.
Dusty’s younger sister Belle earned an A+, too. Those mean a lot in this
Belle grew up preTy, with a Pleasure Aspira5on. Something tells me that
the Broke girls don’t want to live in a trailer when they graduate.
They also acquired a younger sister, named ScarleT.
Elsewhere in Weivtnasaelp, Mor5cia Goth spies on the neighbors. This
would explain why she is quick to come slapping when spied on. A fair
number of my Sims hate her, including my Simself. What I don’t know is
who comes slapping her.
Caspian: Hurray, I’m home from work! Come give me a big hug!
Alexandra: Hurray, Caspian, I’m checking my report card.
Alexandra: Look! Look! A+!
Mor5cia seems busy, or unimpressed.
Alexandra: Sigh. Oh, well.
Might as well play with the liTle boy who followed you home from school, right?
Vespasian: ARGH! You got me!
Alexandra: And don’t do it again! Nice death, by the way.
He’s Roman, Alex. They’re good at it by now.
Alexandra Goth had a happier birthday than she might have expected
before. Her brother Caspian was happily married, she had a new niece or
nephew on the way, and a new stepsister, Dionne Dreamer.
And soon, she and Dionne would be going to Sim State with the Brokes,
Linus Burb, and –who am I forgenng?
Elaine: I want someone who will really admire and love me! Adore me.
Matchmaker: I can get you a reasonably high chemistry match. That’s all I
can. . .
Elaine: Ooo, it’s so exci5ng! I can’t wait to meet him! Who do you see?
Matchmaker: I see. . .
Nelson: I see trouble, that’s what I see.
Why don’t they listen?
Matchmaker: Red hair. I couldn’t do much about cute, I’m afraid.
Elaine: Do you like me? Am I preTy? Are you impressed?
All in all, it was a very pleasant date, no pun intended.
Elaine: So, on a scale of one to ten, how sa5sﬁed were you with our
Angus: Uh. . .
Elaine: Did your pulse race? Did you no5ce the moon? Was the scent of
roses perfuming the air? Am I roman5c? Fascina5ng? Beau5ful?
Angus: I can answer that one.
Ulysses only had one ques5onable date as a teenager. Vampires don’t
age, but he had a teenaged daughter before he fell in love. He’s really
been looking forward to marrying Doc Nerd.
Naturally, since Ulysses is a favorite spare and Doc Nerd is a simself, there
were a lot of guests.
Some of us even remembered to sit down.
Gawaine: Psst, Palomides! Sit!
Palomides: Shh, I’m talking to this really cool lady about carbon emissions or
SimMe: He’s a Family Sim. He can’t be at a wedding without trying to arrange
DocNerd: Did I men5on how handsome you are when you don’t sparkle?
Ulysses: Aw, that’s the nicest thing anyone ever said to me.
The wedding’s almost over and s5ll no one is sinng down.
WriterTina: Yes, Palomides, I enjoy Mee5ng Someone New, too, but I’m
more focused on wri5ng scripts right now.
Ulysses: Did we need guests at all?
DocNerd: You were the one who wanted a Wedding Party.
Ulysses: Oh, right, so I did. Would you like a ring?
DocNerd: I would! Here, I got you one, too.
Ulysses: Aw! I love the color.
DocNerd: And if it doesn’t ﬁt, they said we could exchange it.
Isn’t it roman5c?
Writer Tina con5nues talking about greenhouse gases.
SimMe: I love throwing a good wedding.
Elaine: I can’t sit DOWN.
Oh, I put the chairs too closely together. Oops.
Ulysses gets a huge Aspira5onal boost, while DocNerd swoons over
Achilles. It’s clearly a Sims wedding.
Ulysses: Look how happy they all are for us, Doc.
Ulysses: Um, Doc? Are you, um. . . cold at all in the chestal regions? As
in a slight dra+?
Doc: Ah hah hah! What a humorous happenstance!
Ulysses: Seriously, it’s up to you, but the photographer is over THERE.
Doc: A+er I’m done with my cake.
‐‐oh, all RIGHT.
If it makes you feel any beTer, everyone else was too busy playing kicky
bag to no5ce.
DocNerd: Fine, I’ll buy something else.
Bride’s neckline slips during wedding, bride goes inside and buys new
dress, goes back to party, no problem.
This is one of those 5mes when I want life to be more like this game.
It’s especially nice to see Grandpa Jack having fun with Ulysses’ two alien
children, Nausicaa. . .
. . . And Telemachus.
Telemachus: I liked Uncle Achilles’ tux, so I had one made that looks just like it.
Jack: And it indubitably has a diﬀerent appearance on you.
WriterTina: It was fun talking about global warming with you, Palomides,
but I think I’d like to talk to another Simself now.
Palomides: Agh, shot down.
Ulysses: I think you look just as nice in that dress, Doc, and um. . .
Ulysses: Plus I have to hand it to Flavius, who made your whole Want
Panel roll over just by channg with you!
Flavius, you never really re5re from the superhero business, do you?
Flavius: Popularity Power, I has it.
Oh, my gosh, it’s a miracle: De is actually socializing with someone other
Dicreasy: Er. . . .Prof?
Prof: You do not see me ac5ng in an undigniﬁed way with my own sims.
Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?
Cecil: I am certain you recollect, Cecilia, that we are making the world
tour you spoke of many years ago. Travel broadens the mind.
You must eat. I understand the local food is extremely nutri5ous.
Cecilia: Yes, Papa. Thank you, Papa.
It’s a good thing Cecil never weakens.
Cecil: I am not accustomed to answering ques5ons posed by casual
acquaintances. However. . . the sword, naturally. The answer is obvious
to any ra5onal person. What . . .
Cecil: I am greatly obliged to you.
Personally, I think the Ninja recognized a kindred spirit.
Dinadan: Are you sad because your brothers and your sister are all going to be
at college, Kai? Listen to me. I know you think you’re too liTle, but I am so
glad you’re here.
I’ll miss them, too, but you’re a knight. You have to be brave. Would you like
to go on a liTle quest of our own later, just the two of us. All right?
How to tell if you have cheered a child up:
Elaine: Goodbye, Mr. Penguin! I wish I’d known Great Grandpa, but as
long as you’re here, I know he’s always with me.
Elaine: Goodbye, Taﬀy. I’ll come back and play with the kiTens. Be
Elaine: Mirror . . . .am I lovable? Who will I be?
Opening slide: JWW Waterhouse, Psyche Opening the Door into Cupid’s Garden.
Dinadan Locks, RubyBlue, Goldilocks and the Nine Heirs; Apollo Bohemian, DocGirl P,
Bohemian Legacy; Zane Devereaux, Peasant007, Devereaux Legacy; Flavius Marius,
Blite27, Ten Caesars; Jack Buccaneer, Purple Bunny, Pira/cal Legacy.
Guest simselves: Penguingirl, Purple Bunny, Orikes, De/Fireﬂower 314, DocNerd,
Dicreasy, Stacilee, WriterTina.
Closing slide: Psyche at Nature’s Mirror, Frederick Paul Thumann.