When we last le+ the Squeaky Clean Legacy, the Genera8on Nine heiress,
Elaine, had just become a toddler.
Elaine: Want to be loved.
Dinadan: What’s the maFer, princess? Of course Daddy loves you.
And at that point, there was a bit of a delay.

But I really had an excellent excuse.

Cassius: ARGH, Ma, why do you keep doing things like this? WHY does
she keep doing things like this? You know how much you’re
embarrassing me, Ma? DO you? MA??
Flavius: Um, Cassius?
Cassius: Dad? MAKE HER STOP.

Flavius: Your mother’s a Knowledge Sim, who knows? I don’t mind. She
puts up with my hobbies.
De: Honey, your parents’ marriage is their business, ‘k?

Pfft, everyone’s so judgmental. I swear this was a total accident.
De: Prof? Get back here? Helllooooo?

Although, yes, my Simself did get a green memory out of it. Anyway, it
slowed me down a liFle.

Elaine, meanwhile, was devo8ng herself to becoming as charisma8c and
charming as possible.

And it seemed to be working.
Elaine: Gawaine? Want aFen8on.
Gawaine: Aw, Princess, come here.

Gawaine has oldest brother syndrome and fusses over all of them, even
though he and Parsifal are really twins, so—
Gawaine: I’m s8ll the oldest, and I’m s8ll the leader, and I’m s8ll in
charge of this band of knights and of our Princess, and that makes me
responsible. It’s not as though I’m par8cularly fond of Palomides.

Everyone was very curious to meet the next to last Goodytwoshoes
heiress, so Elaine’s birthday party was very well aFended‐‐

‐‐even if everyone wasn’t paying strict aFen8on.
Jack: Ulysses, I am greatly apprecia8ve of your confidence in my powers
of advocacy, but I think it is advisable for you to come to certain decisions
without asking advice from your paternal parent.

Palomides: Really? I get to go first? Really?
‐‐well, that’s a first.

Palomides: I think we’ve got enough Popularity Knights of the Round
Table. I’m going to do something else‐‐

Family, like his Daddy. And I’m going to forgive him for it, partly because
he had the sense to roll Educa8on Minister instead of one of those
dreadful ones that you can’t do un8l the Sim is about sixty, and partly
because he’s so gosh darned likeable.

Everyone most wanted to see Elaine grow up, though, which is the real
reason Palomides got to go first.

Gawaine: I am important enough to get in the shot.
Elaine: Everyone loves me!

Both Grandma Sophia and Elaine’s mother Penelope were foremost in
cheering Elaine on. They’re the ones who know best what the heiress is
up against, and Elaine is the one who must take that on next.

“Go, go, go Elaine!”
Even Max managed to look slightly enthused, which is a lot for him,
considering that his nickname is Dr. Death and that he hasn’t smiled since
he was six.

Elaine: Everyone loves me.

She is preFy lovable, or at least sweet‐looking. You have to give her that.
She knows her duty as a Squeaky Clean heiress, too, at least enough to
grow up in pink.

Elaine also got pink frilly clothes.

Palomides: Yep. It’s all yours, Elaine.
Elaine: Why?
Palomides: Because you’re the only girl. We get packed in the Armory
next door, where we can protect you.
Elaine: Why?
Palomides: Because you’re the heiress. You have to get married and
have the last liFle girl. . .

Elaine: And fall in love. . . Sigh. . . Love. . . Lovable. . .

**hack kaff wheeze**

Elaine made friends with her cousin Nausicaa and had a lovely birthday
party. That’s really fortunate. I used to avoid evening par8es because of
the ghosts, but ever since I rebuilt, the ghosts haven’t ruined the
par8es. . . yet. They haunt and spook and scare, but they’ve le+ the
par8es alone, so far.

A+erwards, everyone posed for a group portrait. I didn’t ask Penelope to
get in Dinadan’s lap. She did that on her own. I hope Elaine isn’t gecng
overly op8mis8c ideas about rela8onships.

On the other hand, you can’t blame Elaine for pink and fluffy thinking.
The girl lives in a pink house with three overprotec8ve older brothers and
a heart shaped fish pond in back.

A+erwards, the teenaged cousins went for an ou8ng downtown.
Nausicaa is s8ll wearing her school uniform; some8mes I wonder
whether Headmasters Ryan, Walter, and Jikamatusol approve of that.
Albert, LyFon’s grandson, just doesn’t like losing.

Gawaine: Knights are supposed to be familiar with all the chivalric arts.
I suppose karaoke could be considered the equivalent of courtly love
poetry.
Gawaine: “When a maaaaan loves a womannnnnn” . . .
On the other hand, maybe you should stop now.

How do I know that Elaine will be the heiress? Well. . . Penelope and
Dinadan Tried For Baby one more 8me.

And the baby had every bit as nice of a party as Palomides and Elaine.

But no maFer what I did, the baby was s8ll a boy. Kai looks very much
like Parsifal, and they both look very much like Dinadan. And five babies
are enough. Maybe they’re not enough for Dinadan, but they are enough
for me.

See? Elaine doesn’t mind sharing aFen8on with her younger brother.
She’s happy for him to have a nice party, too.
She’s just leading a Smustle so everyone will adore her.

Thank goodness for Palomides and his Family‐Minded actude. He doesn’t
mind baby‐sicng Kai. Well. . . mostly.
Palomides: And when you grow up, we’ll REALLY be out of medieval custom
content. Luckily, Maxis came up with the PERFECT oufit for you.
Heh, heh.

Zane Jacquet: No, I don’t actually like doing homework, but at least I
have daddies who are willing to teach me how, right? That’s a good
thing.
Parsifal: Meet Someone New, +1,000.

Smart kid. He didn’t have such a good 8me of it when he was in the
Devereaux Legacy. Like his adop8ve father, Cassidy (Ve8nari) Marius‐
Jacquet, he was imported as a child for the sole purpose of giving him a
fresh start.
“The Squeaky Clean Legacy: Spoiling Legacy Sims RoFen Since 2007”

Zane even got a birthday party, with friends, rela8ves, and random
townies.

Cassidy and Zane, like all adopted children, had a complete memory
wipe, so neither of them remember anything about their pasts. This is
mostly a good thing, although it means that Cass doesn’t realize that
Spider Jerusalem Ve8nari is his brother. SJ accepts this because he’d
really rather that Cass be happy.
Denise Jacquet: It’s just amazing how much you look like Zane, young
man, especially since you aren’t related to anyone in this house at all.
Spider Jerusalem: Um. . . Yes?
Or there could be another explana8on, perhaps?

The red‐headed man next to Cassidy is Zane’s “real” uncle, Algernon
Marius.
I never claimed that family rela8onships were uncomplicated.

Zane: And I’m going to wish to be. . .
Do us all a favor and shut up. Family Sims who wish for things out loud
don’t have a happy track record.

Just go dance with your friend, Lenore Midlock.

Lenore’s mother Carmilla, and her father, Stanley Legacy, were invited for
the occasion. Dicreasy, on the other hand, walked by and invited herself.
Dicreasy: Have I men8oned before how much I admire you, Stanley?
Stanley: A number of lady Simselves have said that, yes.
This one might be a 8ny bit different, Stanley.
[Dicreasy is the author of the Victorian Legacy, and hence Stanley
himself.]

Lenore is a fairly normal girl, considering that almost everyone in her
family is a vampire, a werewolf, or a plantsim. She just enjoys spending
8me with her great‐grandfathers playing in the family band, the Counsels
of Despera8on.

Lenore’s great‐grandfather Elroy’s mama was an alien, now departed for
her home planet. Her other great‐grandfather, Count Whoopie, used to
be a vampire.
But he got beFer.

A quick glance in at the Romans—
I get 8red of some Sim ac8vi8es. This, however, is not one of them. I like
watching Sims Teach toddlers how to Talk.

I think it’s even nicer when it’s a Simself doing the teaching. This, as you
may have guessed, is Purple Bunny’s liFle boy, Duodecimus.
Other PB’s been in the neighborhood since the Legacy family’s third
genera8on, can you believe that? This legacy AND her Pira8cal Legacy
have been going on for a looooong 8me.

Closeup of six genera8ons of Simself gene8cs. Everybody say
“d’aawwww.”
It takes that long to get Cassius’ face out of the family.

Orikes: Hey‐‐‐if I’m a grandma, how come I’m s8ll so young‐looking?
Good luck? Time cheats? Something like that?

Also, Orikes repainted most of the family portraits back there. If you look
closely, you can see Denise Avidreader (Puritanical Green Thumb) and
Penguingirl (Penguino Legacy).

Sadly, neither Simselves nor Romans are helicopter parents, so
Duodecimus grew up while his grandfather Ter8us was telling Orikes a
Dirty Joke and great‐grandfather Decimus was sulking.

Duodecimus: You really have given your Roman kids the short end of the
s8ck, haven’t you?
Not for long: Flavius complains too much.

Worthing: Yeah, you beFer fix that. I’m only in one shot. One lousy
shot.

“And Vespasian got in TWO shots. Is that fair?”

Nope, but Vespasian is a Caesar.
The Romans WILL get more face 8me, kids.

Besides, who could resist taking pictures of Telemachus?

Nausicaa is NOT good at being employed. It’s probably cruel to make Pleasure
Sims get jobs, anyway, but she’s going to the Goodygirls Sorority, so she has to
earn all of her scholarships the hard way.
Pleasure, Fi+y Dream Dates, which suits Nausicaa about as well as a glass
slipper does a goldfish.

S8ll, she deserves cheering up, so I let her call the matchmaker for a date.

Yippee?

Nausicaa likes him a lot, and it all adds up to those Fi+y Dream Dates.
Don’t tell her that I may not send Leo to college with her. There may be other
plans.

Lionel Pleasant: How do you like the mac n’ cheese, jerk?
Angus Pleasant: I’m not dignifying that with an answer.

What’s the point of having a gender‐reversed Pleasantview if they never get
played, right?
Danielle Pleasant: Here, honey—have some nice so+ mac n’ cheese. It won’t
be so hard on your nose.
Lionel: *snurf snarf snurf*
Angus: Ew.

Actually, Lionel seems to be having a slightly beFer 8me of it as a boy;
partly because I made him do his homework, and partly because he
brings people home from school and makes friends . . .
. . . With gullible Sims. Sims with low standards.

Zane: Sure, I’ll be your friend! I’m sure you and your family are very nice
people and not hos8le and dysfunc8onal at all!

It’s hard to bring Dusty out of a lousy teenaged life, but she did want to
teach liFle sister Belle some skills. . .

‐‐and the result was that Belle Grew Up Well, which is preFy darned hard
in the Broke family.

I cheated the family just enough for Belle to have a preFy dress.

She even brought Telemachus home from school—

‐‐and made friends with him.
Don’t they look cute together?

Congratula8ons, Belle! You have a liFle sister!
Belle: Um, Daddy? How did this happen?
Brandon: It’s a liFle bit complicated.

Matchmaker: And what can I do for you, dearie?
Darya Dreamer: It’s a liFle bit complicated.

Darya: So, actually, I’m really in love with someone else. BUT, he’s
already engaged, and I’ve preFy much given up hope.
So I figured it was 8me to move on. Is that ok with you?
Touristy guy: Tell me more about my eyes.

Darya had three bolts with Touristy Guy. It might have worked, although I
hate it when Sims get fixed up with BV non‐playables. “You have to invite
me over for three days or not at all.” What is that?

Dionne: There you go, Mom! I think you look great. I think you’ll look
precer than the bride.
Darya: Oh, you.

I can see why Darya might want to, though.

Alexandra Goth: Excuse me? You’re in my chair? And you’re the maid? And I
don’t think Caspian invited you.
Keanu Langerak: *sniff* Why am I never the bride?

Nino Caliente: Hey, Mor8cia—looking smokin’ in black, I’ve goFa say.
Mor8cia: Shh!
Marty Stu Pleasant: I don’t no8ce things that might be socially awkward.

Keanu: What’s a boy have to do, anyway? It’s because I’m a maid, that’s
it. Or because I’m named Keanu. Be brutally honest.
Alexandra: Uh, this is brutally honest: I’m ten. Oh, hi, Mrs. Dreamer.

Caspian Goth: I, Caspian, take thee, Donna. . .
Donna: You must be kidding me.

Donna: Ew, no. I don’t want to marry you. Not a+er what you did.
~~~several days earlier~~~

Caspian: You know, Donna’s always reminded me of my mother? How freaky
is that? Do you think that’s normal?
Donna: HOW. DARE. YOU.

BOOINNNGOONINNNG

Donna: How dare you let that woman hold hands with you! Just because I’m
sleeping with several other women doesn’t give you the right to fool around!
Who do you think you are?
Marty Stu Pleasant: I don’t no8ce things that are socially awkward.

Darya: Pssst! You know your fiance?
Caspian: No, what?
Darya: I think she’s a 8ny bit annoyed.

Mrs. CrumpleboFom: And let that be a lesson to you, young man! Don’t
ever call other Sims up and invite them for Ou8ngs Downtown!
Caspian: OW OW OW
(Player 8p: never accept the invita8on, either, unless you don’t mind this
kind of thing happening on free will.)

Darya: Let’s boogie, pregnant guy!

Guests: Sooo. . . .what happens at this kind of non‐wedding? Do we get
the gi+s back, or what?

Caspian: Bbbllllllbblll

Therapist: Is clearly a message from subconscious. Secretly you pick woman who reminds you of
mother, und you WILL this marriage to avert und so you ARRANGE this failure for yourself, ja?
Caspian: Umm. . . And Mrs. CrumpleboFom. I did that, too?
Therapist: Jawohl!
. . . That will be one hundred dollars. I take Mastercard.

Darya: How can you just eat chips when you’ve had a major rela8onship
breakdown?
Donna: How can you NOT eat chips when you’ve had a major
rela8onship breakdown?
Darya: Without margaritas?
Donna: Good point.

Darya: Oooo, I’m so terribly surprised!
Mor8cia: You seem like a nice girl. And those cakes are expensive.

The married‐a‐rich‐Sim angle is something I hadn’t thought about, but I
can’t say I’m sorry. Darren—excuse me, Darya—is flat broke.

Donna: I don’t see why I should go home, just because it isn’t my wedding
anymore.
Alexandra: Will there be cake? It’s almost my bed8me.

Keanu: You hussy! How dare you? I thought I was the only one!
Donna: You came to my wedding thinking you were the only one?
Nino: Huh? I was just being friendly.

Marty Stu: Aren’t we lucky to have a perfect marriage?
Danielle: And that you never no8ce anything socially awkward? Yes, we are.

Danielle: Darya, that was a perfectly lousy wedding.
Darya: Yes, but it was MY wedding.

Elaine: Eventually the story will get back to me. . .
Promise it will, but you can’t expect the drama queens of Pleasantview to stay out of the story forever.
Plus, some of them are going to college with you.
Elaine: Lucky me.
(Thanks to Marhis, who made gender‐reversed Pleasantview. And expect the second part of the
chapter soon!)