Understanding Intercultural Communication Second Edition Chapter 10 What are the Challenges in Developing an Intercultural-Intimate Relationship? Stella Ting-Toomey & Leeva C. Chung OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESSPowerPoint Slides Designed by Alex Flecky and Noorie Baig
I. Developing Intercultural-Intimate Relationships: Invisible Challenges A. Cultural-Ethnic Membership ValuesIndividualistic Orientation Collectivistic Orientation I-identity relationship We-identity, ingroup expectations relationship pressures Ingroup’s (we) connection, Couple’s privacy, concerns autonomy Structural commitment, Voluntary, personal family and social commitment reactions Low-context emotional High-context emotional expressions expressions Value companionate
Media Activity: YouTube Videos The Meaning of Love 7 Billion Others Church Bans Interracial Couple
I. Developing Intercultural-IntimateRelationships: Invisible ChallengesDiscussion Questions:Intercultural-intimate relationships: Have you experienced a relationship of this type? What were some positive things that you gained from it? What were some negative things that occurred? What was most surprising to you about the different love expectations? Have you experienced the “me–we” dialectical forces in any of your relationships?
II. Intercultural-Intimate RelationshipAttraction: Facilitating FactorsA. Perceived Physical Attractiveness Physical attractiveness critical to initial attraction; cultural differences regarding what is attractive. • For example, U.S. individuals attracted to: high energy, enthusiasm.; Korean individuals attracted to: high integrity, concern for others.B. Perceived Similarity • Similarity–attraction hypothesis: cognitive consistency
II. Intercultural-Intimate RelationshipAttraction: Facilitating FactorsC. Cross-Cultural Self-disclosure Comparisons• Self-disclosure: intentional process of revealing exclusive information about ourselves to others that other individuals do not know.• Social penetration theory: interpersonal information progresses from superficial nonintimate to more deep-layered intimate self-disclosure.
II. Intercultural-Intimate RelationshipAttraction: Facilitating FactorsC. Cross-Cultural Self-disclosure Comparisons: DiscussionCheck out similarities and differences…. • Where did you learn your self-disclosure tendency? • Do you come from a high-disclosive family or a low-disclosive family? • What topics do you consider as quite “Public”? • What topics do you consider as quite “Private”?
II. Intercultural-Intimate RelationshipAttraction: Facilitating Factors C. Cross-Cultural Self-disclosure Comparisons: Johari Window:
II. Intercultural-Intimate RelationshipAttraction: Facilitating FactorsMedia Activity: Fools Rush In film clipDiscussion: • Can you relate to this clip? • How do the cultural value dimensions impact the development of your particular intimate relationship? • How did Alex and Isabel handle the dialectical tensions of autonomy and connectedness? • How did they differ in terms of disclosing to their parents about Isabel’s pregnancy?
II. Intercultural-Intimate RelationshipAttraction: Facilitating FactorsD. Online Disclosure of Affection Do you stay in touch with your Facebook friends by “liking” their posts, photos, or statuses?E. Third-Party Matchmakers: Online and Mobile Dating Five phases of online dating: 1. Attention 2. Recognition 3. Interaction 4. Face-to-face meeting 5. Resolution
II. Intercultural-Intimate RelationshipAttraction: Facilitating FactorsE. Third-Party Matchmakers: Online and Mobile Dating • Have you tried match.com or eharmony.com? How about pof.com (plenty of fish.com )?Take a look at this Indian matrimonial site: • Did you notice that his parents created this posting? How would you react if your parents did something like this out of concern for you?
II. Intercultural-Intimate RelationshipAttraction: Facilitating FactorsF. Intercultural/Interracial Romantic Relationship Development Interracial couples’ four stages of “racial” awareness and awakening: • Racial awareness • Coping • Identity emergence • Relationship maintenance
II. Intercultural-Intimate RelationshipAttraction: Facilitating FactorsSome Intercultural-Intimate Relationship Research • Generation is predictor of interethnic relationships. • Individuals with assimilated, bicultural, or marginal identities have greater tendency to date outgroup members. • The “Romeo and Juliet” effect: The more the families are against relationship, the more the couple wants to rebel against parents, thus finding each other more
III. Intercultural-Intimate Conflict:Obstacles and Stumbling BlocksA. The Encounter: Prejudice and Racism Intercultural-intimate conflict: Antagonistic friction or disagreement between two romantic partners caused, in part, by cultural or ethnic group membership differences. Have you observed prejudice or racism toward interracial couples?
III. Intercultural-Intimate Conflict:Obstacles and Stumbling BlocksB. Countering Racism and Prejudice: Coping Strategies: 1. Ignoring or dismissing 2. Normalizing 3. Withdrawing 4. Educating 5. Confrontation 6. Prayer 7. Humor
IV. Raising Secure BiculturalChildrenA. Bicultural Identity Struggles: Four identity forms of bicultural children: 1. Majority-group identifiers 2. Minority-group identifiers 3. Synthesizers 4. Dissaffiliates
IV. Raising Secure Bicultural Children: Some suggestions:• Work out identity plan early – communicate with your partner (e.g., religious faith, language, customs).• Listen to your children’s identity experiences.• Provide cultural enrichment opportunities.• Be truthful about prejudice & racism issues.• Nurture & support different identity facets.• Provide safety net & maturation challenges. Realize that children will grow up & choose their own identity path….• Together: DRAW an ideal dream house….
IV. Raising Secure BiculturalChildrenB. Cultivating a Secure Multifaceted Identity To help bicultural individuals: • Know values and beliefs of each group. • Positive attitude toward both groups. • Confidence that one can live effectively within both groups without compromising one’s individual identity. • Be grounded.
V. Intercultural Reality Check: Do-AblesIn managing diverse intimate relationship issues, here are some helpful do-ables: • Pay attention to culture-based challenges. • Be mindful that individualists and collectivists may hold different expectations. • Be sensitive to your partner’s family reaction issues. • Be flexible in learning your partner’s
Parting Thoughts… Living on borders and in margins,keeping intact one’s shifting and multiple identity and integrity, is like trying to swim in a new element, an “alien” element. ~ Gloria Anzaldua