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Learning to Hate Pornography          © Philip P. Eapen 2006
Learning to Hate Pornography               CAUTION! This session involves open discussion         about pornography and   ...
Porn-Again?57% of pastors [US] say  that addiction to  pornography is the  most sexually  damaging issue to  their congreg...
Porn-Again?• 51% of pastors [US]  say cyber-porn is a  possible temptation;• For 37%, a current  struggle.       Christian...
Porn-Again?• Over half of  evangelical pastors  admit viewing  pornography last year.      Christianity Today Leadership S...
Porn-Again?• Thousands of pastors  and missionaries are  addicted to internet  pornography• When caught, they  lose their ...
Porn-Again?• IF you are one of  them, wake up and  face the reality!• You’ve got hope in  Christ!                 © Philip...
“I have come to dislike talkingabout the effects of pornography with people       who have not seen it for themselves,or w...
What is pornography?
Pornography is not just about pictures!   It can take the following forms:          Writings          Pictures/Cartoons   ...
Pornography is    any representation of sexual behaviour          with these characteristics:its primary purpose is stimul...
Pornography is [visual/audio] material             that combinessex and/or the exposure of genitals                      w...
Legal DefinitionDepictions or works that are• “patently offensive” to “local community  standards”• that appeal to “prurie...
Pornography is not justpictures of nude men orwomen.                    © Philip P. Eapen 2006   14
Pornography is not justpictures of nude men orwomen.                          All depictions of nudity are                ...
© Nick Ut won                All depictions of nudity are Pulitzer Prize                       not pornographic!for this p...
© Nick Ut won                  All depictions of nudity arePornography is not just Pulitzer Prize                         ...
Just because somethingcauses sexual arousal inyou, it must not be called“pornography”                      © Philip P. Eap...
Just because somethingcauses sexual arousal inyou, it must not be called“pornography”    If the PRIMARY purpose of somethi...
Just because somethingcauses sexual arousal inyou, it must not be called“pornography”       If the PRIMARY purpose of a wo...
Just because somethingcauses sexual arousal inyou, it must not be called“pornography”       If the PRIMARY purpose of a wo...
Pornography is not justpictures/descriptions ofmen and women insexual acts.                      © Philip P. Eapen 2006   22
Pornography is not justpictures/descriptions ofmen and women insexual acts.                                   All depictio...
Pornography is not justpictures/descriptions ofmen and women insexual acts.                                   All depictio...
The “nude” in fine art       versusThe “naked” in porn                         25
The “nude” in fine art   The word “nude” in fine art    represents a “balanced,prosperous and confident body” –     not a ...
The “nude” in fine art   The word “nude” in fine art    represents a “balanced,prosperous and confident body” –     not a ...
The “nude” in fine art       versusThe “naked” in porn                         28
© Thomas Doering  The “nude” in fine artNudity employs the unclothedhuman body to express order, energy, despair, detail a...
© Thomas Doering    The “nude” in fine art  Fine Art Nude is exhibited in public places, homes, galleries,          museum...
Caution!• Although “fine art nudes” don’t come under  pornography, it is best for a Christian to  stay away from it.• Why?...
The Four Way Test• Is the PRIMARY PURPOSE of this portrayal of  human body/sex organs/sexual union the  stimulation of sex...
Is viewing pornography sinful?   1. Porn makes you a partaker of:       •   Homosexuality       •   Group sex       •   Be...
Is viewing pornography sinful? 2. Porn makes you a “peeping Tom” God condemns voyeurism & lust       34
3. Porn misrepresents women!                           35
4.Porn promotes crime in real world                                36
5. Porn burns a hole in your pocket!                                 37
Is viewing pornography sinful?  > Pornography can lead others to sin   • Many children are led to sin by     their parents...
Is pornography evil?Does pornography promotethe right to“free expression?”        © Philip P. Eapen 2006   39
Is pornography evil?> Pornography oppresses women andchildren & legitimises violence against them • Women are subjected to...
Why is pornography sinful?> Pornography demeans/ degrades women;              it is often sexist • Men are mostly shown cl...
Why is pornography sinful?> Pornography degrades a human being          and his/her body • A person is often reduced to   ...
Is pornography evil? > Pornography degrades and misrepresents            sexual intercourse• Sex is portrayed as an act of...
Is pornography evil?> Pornography degrades and misrepresentssexual intercourse• Sex is often portrayed as a  casual encoun...
Is pornography evil?> Pornography degrades and misrepresentssexual intercourse• Sexual union is seen just as a  means of g...
Why is pornography sinful?> Pornography violates & abuses children  • Scars of abuse last a lifetime  • Even countries tha...
Is pornography evil?> Pornography can be bizarre• Sex with dead bodies• Eating of human dead bodies• Unearthly modificatio...
What leads one to pornography?             Or,  what promotes addiction to        pornography?                            ...
Accidental Discovery• 90% of children (8 -16 years) discover  pornography accidentally• Install internet filters; monitor ...
Curiosity !!!• Curiosity combined with lack of  knowledge as to where to satisfy curiosity  in a God honouring and decent ...
Unhealthy Secrecy– Unhealthy secrecy: Lack of openness in  families, churches                                           51
Unhealthy attitudes• Unhealthy attitudes regarding the human  body, especially the reproductive organs• “To hear many reli...
Unhealthy attitudes• Unhealthy attitudes regarding the human  body, especially the reproductive organs• “To hear many reli...
54
Unhealthy attitudes            Christian affirmations      •   God created our bodies!      •   Our bodies exhibit God’s w...
Unhealthy attitudes            Christian Affirmations  • “The body, and it alone is capable of    making visible what is i...
Unhealthy attitudes            Christian Affirmations   • Sexual union symbolises the union of     Christ and the church  ...
Unhealthy attitudes              10 Commandments:              Respect your origins!   •   Respect God, the Creator – 1, 2...
Unhealthy attitudes            By banning/avoiding the legitimate,           we end up swallowing the illegitimate    Legi...
Unhealthy attitudes            By banning/avoiding the legitimate,           we end up swallowing the illegitimate    Legi...
It is folly !!!• to believe the myths and lies promoted by  pornographers  – Women in pornography are shown as if they enj...
“Sex-packed porn films featuring freshly-dyedblondes whose evocative eyes say “I want you” isquite possibly one of the gre...
“I never liked sex. I never wanted sex … Somewomen hate it so much you can hear them vomitingin the bathroom between scene...
“Yes, we madethe choice. Someof us needed the money. But we      weremanipulated and  coerced andeven threatened.         ...
“Some of us caught HIV from that coercion. Ipersonally caught Herpes, a non-curable sexually              transmitted dise...
“Another porn actress went home after a long night of numbing her pain and put a pistol to        her head and pulled the ...
“We’re traumatized little girls living onanti-depressants, drugs and alcohol acting out our  pain in front of YOU who cont...
“Pornographersinsist on givingviewers the fantasysex they demandall the whilesacrificing the veryones who make ithappen.In...
“Herpes,        gonorrhea,          syphilis,   chlamydia, andother diseases are        the normal anxieties we walk aroun...
“Besides worrying     about catchingdiseases from pornsex, there are other  harmful activities  we engage in that       ar...
The truth is there is NO fantasy in porn. It’s alla LIE. A closer look into the scenes of a porn      star’s life will sho...
The real truth is we porn actresses want to endthe shame and trauma of our lives but we can’t                   do it alon...
We need you men to fight for our freedom and give us back our honor. We need you to holdus in your strong arms while we so...
“We want you to throw out our movies and help  piece together the shattered fragments of ourlives. We need you to pray for...
“So don’t believe the lieanymore. Porn is nothing more than fake sex and   lies on videotape.   Trust me, I know.”   By Sh...
What are the consequences of dabbling in pornography?                               76
Guilt, Low Self Esteem                         77
Sexual Addiction                   78
Sexual Addiction SEXUAL ADDICTION       IS A    SICKNESS!                    79
Sexual Addiction1. Compulsive Behaviour:• Inability to say “No” toSexual urges• Knowledge about sinBecomes useless        ...
Sexual Addiction2. Obsessive Behaviour:• Mind is dominated bySexual thoughts• Sexual desire becomesyour god and controlsyo...
Sexual Addiction3. Continuous Bondage• You continue to sineven after being caught• You justify your actionsby finding new ...
Sexual Addiction4. Tolerance• You get used topornography• You need more explicitpictures or video to getaroused• You lose ...
Conflicts in Marriage                        84
Feelings of inadequacy & guilt in wives                                      85
Cause  “Did I cause myhusband to become   a sex addict?”                    86
Control“Can I control myhusband’s sexual   addiction?”                    87
Cure “Can I cure myhusband’s sexual   addiction?”                   88
Admit   Talk about theproblem to a senior  or a counselorYou are not bound tokeep your husband’s   sinful secrets!        ...
AskAsk for help for yourhusband from people  trained to handle    such problems                        90
AskAsk help for yourself and the issues you face as a result of    this tragedy                        91
The Road to Recovery  The Road to Recovery • Recognize the problem • Seek professional help        © Philip P. Eapen 2006 ...
• Enter into a covenant with an  accountability partner who  –   Is of the same gender  –   Is experiencing victory and he...
How to protect yourself and your family      from pornography online?• 1. Never open porn spam• 2. Install web filter soft...
• Sanctify Christ      • For some  as Lord in your     people have  hearts…              deliberately• And keep a         ...
Photo Credits•   Animesh Ray – Road to Recovery•   Michelle Coxon – naked Christ•   The Statesman, Merced High School – st...
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Learning To Hate Pornography

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An attempt to help people develop hatred for pornography; defines pornography; lists adverse effects of porn; states why pornography is sinful; suggests ways to escape addiction

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Transcript of "Learning To Hate Pornography"

  1. 1. Learning to Hate Pornography © Philip P. Eapen 2006
  2. 2. Learning to Hate Pornography CAUTION! This session involves open discussion about pornography and related offensive practices.
  3. 3. Porn-Again?57% of pastors [US] say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation.Christians and Sex” Leadership Journal Survey, March 2005 © Philip P. Eapen 2006 3
  4. 4. Porn-Again?• 51% of pastors [US] say cyber-porn is a possible temptation;• For 37%, a current struggle. Christianity Today Leadership Survey, 2001; http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/1224639.html) © Philip P. Eapen 2006 4
  5. 5. Porn-Again?• Over half of evangelical pastors admit viewing pornography last year. Christianity Today Leadership Survey, 2001; http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/1224639.html) © Philip P. Eapen 2006 5
  6. 6. Porn-Again?• Thousands of pastors and missionaries are addicted to internet pornography• When caught, they lose their ministry.• Their families are devastated © Philip P. Eapen 2006 6
  7. 7. Porn-Again?• IF you are one of them, wake up and face the reality!• You’ve got hope in Christ! © Philip P. Eapen 2006 7
  8. 8. “I have come to dislike talkingabout the effects of pornography with people who have not seen it for themselves,or whose exposure to it has been so minimal that they equate it with pictures of nude people in sexual encounters.” In other words, it is not possible to hate pornography or to fight against pornography unless you know what it is all about Dr Diana E H Russel, Prof of Sociology, Mills College, Oakland, USA. © Philip P. Eapen 2006 8
  9. 9. What is pornography?
  10. 10. Pornography is not just about pictures! It can take the following forms: Writings Pictures/Cartoons Videos/Animations 3-D forms Songs Phone conversations Live-person presentations Computer games © Philip P. Eapen 2006 10
  11. 11. Pornography is any representation of sexual behaviour with these characteristics:its primary purpose is stimulation of sexual interest or excitement-its degrading portrayal of a human [male/] female as a mere sexual object to be exploited & manipulated sexually -Barbara Mackinnon, University of San Francisco © Philip P. Eapen 2006 11
  12. 12. Pornography is [visual/audio] material that combinessex and/or the exposure of genitals with abuse or degradation in a manner that appears to endorse, condone, or encourage such behaviour. Dr Diana E H Russel © Philip P. Eapen 2006 12
  13. 13. Legal DefinitionDepictions or works that are• “patently offensive” to “local community standards”• that appeal to “prurient interests,”• and that taken as a whole lack “serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value.” © Philip P. Eapen 2006 13
  14. 14. Pornography is not justpictures of nude men orwomen. © Philip P. Eapen 2006 14
  15. 15. Pornography is not justpictures of nude men orwomen. All depictions of nudity are not pornographic! Medical Textbooks, sports photography, fine art paintings/photographs/sculptures © Philip P. Eapen 2006 15
  16. 16. © Nick Ut won All depictions of nudity are Pulitzer Prize not pornographic!for this picture © Philip P. Eapen 2006 16
  17. 17. © Nick Ut won All depictions of nudity arePornography is not just Pulitzer Prize not pornographic!pictures of nude men orfor this picturewomen. Medical Textbooks, sports photography, fine art paintings/photographs/sculptures Kim Phuc © Philip P. Eapen 2006 17
  18. 18. Just because somethingcauses sexual arousal inyou, it must not be called“pornography” © Philip P. Eapen 2006 18
  19. 19. Just because somethingcauses sexual arousal inyou, it must not be called“pornography” If the PRIMARY purpose of something is to cause sexual arousal, it might qualify to be classified as pornography! © Philip P. Eapen 2006 19
  20. 20. Just because somethingcauses sexual arousal inyou, it must not be called“pornography” If the PRIMARY purpose of a work, taken as a whole, is scientific, artistic, aesthetic or literary, then it should not be branded as pornography! © Philip P. Eapen 2006 20
  21. 21. Just because somethingcauses sexual arousal inyou, it must not be called“pornography” If the PRIMARY purpose of a work, taken as a whole, is scientific, artistic, aesthetic or literary, then it should not be branded as pornography! E.g.: Song of Solomon, most Fine Art nudes, Books on Marriage and Sex, etc. © Philip P. Eapen 2006 21
  22. 22. Pornography is not justpictures/descriptions ofmen and women insexual acts. © Philip P. Eapen 2006 22
  23. 23. Pornography is not justpictures/descriptions ofmen and women insexual acts. All depictions of sexual union are not pornographic. © Philip P. Eapen 2006 23
  24. 24. Pornography is not justpictures/descriptions ofmen and women insexual acts. All depictions of sexual union are not pornographic. Song of Solomon, Fine Art, Literature Books on Marriage and Sex, etc. © Philip P. Eapen 2006 24
  25. 25. The “nude” in fine art versusThe “naked” in porn 25
  26. 26. The “nude” in fine art The word “nude” in fine art represents a “balanced,prosperous and confident body” – not a defenceless body The “naked” in porn 26
  27. 27. The “nude” in fine art The word “nude” in fine art represents a “balanced,prosperous and confident body” – not a defenceless body The “naked” in porn To be “naked” is to be deprived of our clothes, & to be embarrassed in that condition 27
  28. 28. The “nude” in fine art versusThe “naked” in porn 28
  29. 29. © Thomas Doering The “nude” in fine artNudity employs the unclothedhuman body to express order, energy, despair, detail and perfection The “naked” in porn Porn uses naked people for lust, shock and greed 29
  30. 30. © Thomas Doering The “nude” in fine art Fine Art Nude is exhibited in public places, homes, galleries, museums, etc. The “naked” in pornPornography is a shameful secret even though it is sold openly 30
  31. 31. Caution!• Although “fine art nudes” don’t come under pornography, it is best for a Christian to stay away from it.• Why? God wants us to enjoy the beauty of the physical form in the context of marriage. See Proverbs 5:15-20• The beauty of a man’s or woman’s body is not for public consumption! 31
  32. 32. The Four Way Test• Is the PRIMARY PURPOSE of this portrayal of human body/sex organs/sexual union the stimulation of sexual excitement?• Are women, portrayed in a degrading manner as mere objects of pleasure?• Does this piece of work endorse, condone or PROMOTE such abusive, degrading treatment to women/children/men?• “LAPS” Test: Taken as a whole, does this have any serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value? © Philip P. Eapen 2006 32
  33. 33. Is viewing pornography sinful? 1. Porn makes you a partaker of: • Homosexuality • Group sex • Bestiality: sex with animals • Trafficking of women & children • Torture of women and children • Terrorism • Drugs Trafficking • MurderThe Bible condemns these sins © Philip P. Eapen 2006 33
  34. 34. Is viewing pornography sinful? 2. Porn makes you a “peeping Tom” God condemns voyeurism & lust 34
  35. 35. 3. Porn misrepresents women! 35
  36. 36. 4.Porn promotes crime in real world 36
  37. 37. 5. Porn burns a hole in your pocket! 37
  38. 38. Is viewing pornography sinful? > Pornography can lead others to sin • Many children are led to sin by their parents’ or elders’ sins • Many young people are led astray by their friends • Many unsuspecting web users are led astray by porn spam (unsolicited mails) 38
  39. 39. Is pornography evil?Does pornography promotethe right to“free expression?” © Philip P. Eapen 2006 39
  40. 40. Is pornography evil?> Pornography oppresses women andchildren & legitimises violence against them • Women are subjected to torture – beatings, electric shocks, etc – during the making of pornography • Women are oppressed by the exhibition, sale and promotion of pornography • Victims are made to do unspeakable detestable acts © Philip P. Eapen 2006 40
  41. 41. Why is pornography sinful?> Pornography demeans/ degrades women; it is often sexist • Men are mostly shown clothed but women are consistently shown naked • Men’s faces and genitals are hidden from camera while women are exposed • Men are always shown in a dominant role © Philip P. Eapen 2006 41
  42. 42. Why is pornography sinful?> Pornography degrades a human being and his/her body • A person is often reduced to his or her reproductive organs • A person is seen as a toy or an object of someone else’s pleasure © Philip P. Eapen 2006 42
  43. 43. Is pornography evil? > Pornography degrades and misrepresents sexual intercourse• Sex is portrayed as an act of conquest where a man/men conquer a woman/women• Healthy sex is a language of love and never a tool of oppression or humiliation © Philip P. Eapen 2006 43
  44. 44. Is pornography evil?> Pornography degrades and misrepresentssexual intercourse• Sex is often portrayed as a casual encounter between any two consenting individuals• Sex is meaningful only if a man and a woman are committed to each other for life in marriage © Philip P. Eapen 2006 44
  45. 45. Is pornography evil?> Pornography degrades and misrepresentssexual intercourse• Sexual union is seen just as a means of getting pleasure• Sexual pleasure is portrayed as the ultimate goal of human life• This is hedonism © Philip P. Eapen 2006 45
  46. 46. Why is pornography sinful?> Pornography violates & abuses children • Scars of abuse last a lifetime • Even countries that have legalized pornography condemn child porn © Philip P. Eapen 2006 46
  47. 47. Is pornography evil?> Pornography can be bizarre• Sex with dead bodies• Eating of human dead bodies• Unearthly modifications to the human body © Philip P. Eapen 2006 47
  48. 48. What leads one to pornography? Or, what promotes addiction to pornography? 48
  49. 49. Accidental Discovery• 90% of children (8 -16 years) discover pornography accidentally• Install internet filters; monitor the internet usage of children closely• Spam mails – unsolicited emails• Never open or reply to spam mails 49
  50. 50. Curiosity !!!• Curiosity combined with lack of knowledge as to where to satisfy curiosity in a God honouring and decent way 50
  51. 51. Unhealthy Secrecy– Unhealthy secrecy: Lack of openness in families, churches 51
  52. 52. Unhealthy attitudes• Unhealthy attitudes regarding the human body, especially the reproductive organs• “To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.” - Don Schrader 52
  53. 53. Unhealthy attitudes• Unhealthy attitudes regarding the human body, especially the reproductive organs• “To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.” - Don Schrader 53
  54. 54. 54
  55. 55. Unhealthy attitudes Christian affirmations • God created our bodies! • Our bodies exhibit God’s wisdom & art • The body is the Holy Spirit’s temple • The central focus of Christianity - the “Word” became “flesh” 55
  56. 56. Unhealthy attitudes Christian Affirmations • “The body, and it alone is capable of making visible what is invisible, the spiritual and divine. • It was created to transfer in the visible reality of the world, the invisible mystery hidden in God from time immemorial, and, thus, to be a sign of it” - Pope John Paul II 56
  57. 57. Unhealthy attitudes Christian Affirmations • Sexual union symbolises the union of Christ and the church • Sexual union opens earth’s door to God’s creative intervention – for the creation of a new human being • If the family is the fundamental cell of society, then sexual union is the fountainhead of culture • Sexual union is meant to mirror God’s free, total, faithful, and fruitful love 57
  58. 58. Unhealthy attitudes 10 Commandments: Respect your origins! • Respect God, the Creator – 1, 2, 3 • Respect Parents, the procreators – 5 • Respect Life – 6 • Respect sexual union - 7 58
  59. 59. Unhealthy attitudes By banning/avoiding the legitimate, we end up swallowing the illegitimate Legitimate Friendship with both sexes … Legitimate sex education … Legitimate appreciation of the beauty of a woman Legitimate physical contact … … 59
  60. 60. Unhealthy attitudes By banning/avoiding the legitimate, we end up swallowing the illegitimate Legitimate Friendship with both sexes … … Illegitimate affairs and liaisons Legitimate sex education … … Explorations in pornography Legitimate appreciation of the beauty of a woman … Pornographic representations Legitimate physical contact … … Illegitimate sex outside marriage 60
  61. 61. It is folly !!!• to believe the myths and lies promoted by pornographers – Women in pornography are shown as if they enjoy being raped or used by men. (Women are often showed as inviting men to use them) – Women are shown as if they enjoy posing for porn pictures or acting in porn movies; we’re made to believe that they choose this career because they like it. – We are made to believe that the torture (whipping, electric shocks, etc) are only simulated 61
  62. 62. “Sex-packed porn films featuring freshly-dyedblondes whose evocative eyes say “I want you” isquite possibly one of the greatest deceptions of all time.Trust me, I know. I did it all the time and I did it forthe lust of power and the love of money. 62
  63. 63. “I never liked sex. I never wanted sex … Somewomen hate it so much you can hear them vomitingin the bathroom between scenes. Others can befound outside smoking an endless chain of Marlborolights… 63
  64. 64. “Yes, we madethe choice. Someof us needed the money. But we weremanipulated and coerced andeven threatened. 64
  65. 65. “Some of us caught HIV from that coercion. Ipersonally caught Herpes, a non-curable sexually transmitted disease. 65
  66. 66. “Another porn actress went home after a long night of numbing her pain and put a pistol to her head and pulled the trigger. Now she’s dead.. 66
  67. 67. “We’re traumatized little girls living onanti-depressants, drugs and alcohol acting out our pain in front of YOU who continue to abuse us. 67
  68. 68. “Pornographersinsist on givingviewers the fantasysex they demandall the whilesacrificing the veryones who make ithappen.In other words, nocondoms allowed. 68
  69. 69. “Herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, andother diseases are the normal anxieties we walk around with daily. We get tested monthly but weknow testing isn’t prevention. 69
  70. 70. “Besides worrying about catchingdiseases from pornsex, there are other harmful activities we engage in that are also very dangerous. Some of us have had physical tearing anddamage to internal body parts. 70
  71. 71. The truth is there is NO fantasy in porn. It’s alla LIE. A closer look into the scenes of a porn star’s life will show you a movie a porn[ographer] doesn’t want you to see. 71
  72. 72. The real truth is we porn actresses want to endthe shame and trauma of our lives but we can’t do it alone. 72
  73. 73. We need you men to fight for our freedom and give us back our honor. We need you to holdus in your strong arms while we sob tears over our deep wounds and begin to heal. 73
  74. 74. “We want you to throw out our movies and help piece together the shattered fragments of ourlives. We need you to pray for us the next fifteen years so God will hear and repair our ruined lives. 74
  75. 75. “So don’t believe the lieanymore. Porn is nothing more than fake sex and lies on videotape. Trust me, I know.” By Shelley Lubben – Former Porn Actress 75
  76. 76. What are the consequences of dabbling in pornography? 76
  77. 77. Guilt, Low Self Esteem 77
  78. 78. Sexual Addiction 78
  79. 79. Sexual Addiction SEXUAL ADDICTION IS A SICKNESS! 79
  80. 80. Sexual Addiction1. Compulsive Behaviour:• Inability to say “No” toSexual urges• Knowledge about sinBecomes useless 80
  81. 81. Sexual Addiction2. Obsessive Behaviour:• Mind is dominated bySexual thoughts• Sexual desire becomesyour god and controlsyour life 81
  82. 82. Sexual Addiction3. Continuous Bondage• You continue to sineven after being caught• You justify your actionsby finding new excuses 82
  83. 83. Sexual Addiction4. Tolerance• You get used topornography• You need more explicitpictures or video to getaroused• You lose the ability tosee sin as sin 83
  84. 84. Conflicts in Marriage 84
  85. 85. Feelings of inadequacy & guilt in wives 85
  86. 86. Cause “Did I cause myhusband to become a sex addict?” 86
  87. 87. Control“Can I control myhusband’s sexual addiction?” 87
  88. 88. Cure “Can I cure myhusband’s sexual addiction?” 88
  89. 89. Admit Talk about theproblem to a senior or a counselorYou are not bound tokeep your husband’s sinful secrets! 89
  90. 90. AskAsk for help for yourhusband from people trained to handle such problems 90
  91. 91. AskAsk help for yourself and the issues you face as a result of this tragedy 91
  92. 92. The Road to Recovery The Road to Recovery • Recognize the problem • Seek professional help © Philip P. Eapen 2006 92
  93. 93. • Enter into a covenant with an accountability partner who – Is of the same gender – Is experiencing victory and healing – Is not easily fooled – Can keep confidence – Is available for daily check in by phone or email – Will meet for regular face to face meetings (2 - 4 month) – Is willing to be “on call” for times of stress and temptation – Is willing to be “not so nice”; to ask difficult questions – Will monitor your internet usage © Philip P. Eapen 2006 93
  94. 94. How to protect yourself and your family from pornography online?• 1. Never open porn spam• 2. Install web filter software for children• 3. Install accountability software for adults – X3watch – Covenant Eyes• 4. Be cautious when you are vulnerable – Hungry, Tired, Angry, Disappointed, Lonely © Philip P. Eapen 2006 94
  95. 95. • Sanctify Christ • For some as Lord in your people have hearts… deliberately• And keep a violated their good consciences; conscience • as a result, their faith has 1 Pet 3:15-16 been shipwrecked. 1 Tim 1:19b 95
  96. 96. Photo Credits• Animesh Ray – Road to Recovery• Michelle Coxon – naked Christ• The Statesman, Merced High School – stalking• Bilal Zaheer – Women on the Beach• Vlado Soldo – Woman eating grapes 96
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