To explain or tell the meaning of : present in understandable terms
J U D G I N G Resist
Determine the speaker’s meaning.
Confirm that you understand the meaning.
Show that you understand the meaning.
Gather + More = Information
Decide whether the information is GENUINE.
Evaluate the Information
Communicate Your evaluation
Chapter 4 Responding
Learn what the speaker expects.
Consider your own time and energy
What Decide Do To
Pay Close Attention Bob: “ I hate math. It hurts my brains with all the endless formulas and numbers.” Sam: “ I see that you hate math and that it hurts your brain with all the endless formulas and numbers.” Bob: “ Math is an evil subject!” Sam: “ Yes, math is an evil subject.” Bob: “ I get nightmares from math…” Sam: “ I see you get nightmares from math.”
Chapter 6 Fogging
Pay Even More Close Attention Guest: “This hotel is the worst hotel I’ve ever been to!” Front Desk “O? Tell me more.” Guest: “My room was dirty when I first opened the door, I had dirty sheets on my bed, and the people next door are too noisy. Not to mention I’ve been waiting on this line for the past hour !” Front Desk “Really. How interesting.” Guest: “ You’re going to hear from my lawyer!” Front Desk “Uh huh, what else?”
Chapter 7 Paraphrasing
Erica V. Mr. Haywire Erica: “I’m terribly sorry for being unable to hand in the paper you’ve requested sir, but you see I’ve had such a catastrophic weekend. First I had to plan my sister’s wedding which was very time consuming and I just got caught up. Along with that my water has been off since Friday. Not to mention when I called I received horrendous customer service. It wasn’t fixed until Sunday evening. So I do apologize. Mr. Haywire: I understand that you were busy the entire weekend due to planning your sister’s wedding and your water problem. Please try to hand it in as soon as possible.
Chapter 8 Summarizing and Self-Disclosure Statements
For Example… Bill: “So what I think you should focus on is lesser words and pictures then on the color palette. I likes things simple as it gets but with meaning.” John: “ If I hear you correctly, you want less but it should tell a lot? ” Bill: “Yes” Summarizing emphasizes on what the speaker says
Self-Disclosure tells the speaker you can empathize with their situation John: “This presentation is driving me crazy. I'm so nervous and I don’t want to make a fool out of myself in front of the whole committee… ” Bill: “I understand, I remember what a nervous –wreck I was when I had to create a presentation and actually presenting it. I had all these images in my head about the frowns on the committees face. Don’t stress it too much, you’ll do great!”
Clarifying Questions Ask questions if you don’t understand a statement or if you need the speaker to be more clearer about what they mean.
A misunderstanding… Mr. Boss: “Jenna I need that paper on my desk soon.” Jenna: “Sure sir.” 2days Later Jenna: “ Here you go sir, the paper your requested. ” Mr. Boss: “I don’t need it anymore, Carlos gave me his paper.” Jenna: “ But Sir, I worked all night on it.” Mr. Boss: “I would’ve appreciated it if you handed it to me, the same day I asked for it. .” Jenna: “Excuse me sir, but you weren’t as clear when you said ’ soon’’….” Mr. Boss: “I’m sorry, I guess it was my fault.
Open-ended Questions Ms. Gomez: “Did you like the new actor for the play?” Jessica: “ Yes, I did.” Ms. Gomez:“What did you like about Mr. Barton?” Jessica:: “ Well, he speaks with eloquence and the way he portrays the character of Jack makes you feel lively. He’s a wonderful actor.” Ms. Gomez:“How would you rate Mr. Barton from a scale of 1-10?” Jessica:: “ He deserves a 10.”
Specific Questions - Seek additional information for any unclear statements.
Bart: “Hey the boss is throwing a little get together for the employees Saturday evening at the Miraldo Hotel in honor of our success in launching the number one magazine. Will you be able to attend? ” Rachel: “I would, what part of the hotel will it be kept?” Bart: “In the Banquet hall on the second floor.” Rachel: “O, ok and what time?” Bart: “The party starts at 7:30. There will be lots of food and wine.” Rachel: “What is the dress code?” Bart: “Professional but elegant. Black and/or white attire only.”
Neutral Words Neutral words are often utilized to encourage the speaker to continue talking. Common Neutral words include: “That sounds interesting.” “Wow, Tell me more.” “I understand.” “Well lets see what we can get out of it.”
Sam: “I found a way to advertize our hotel in a whole new way. I can guarantee you that it’ll will bring forth a lot of success.” John: “ Really? Tell me more. ” Sam : “I think we should offer a complimentary stay free of charge to the first 50 customers who can rock out the best holiday suit.” John :“ That sounds really interesting. May I ask what kind of holiday suits can they wear? ” Sam: “Nothing inappropriate, but they can choose from Santa, a reindeer, elves, Ms. Claus, a Christmas tree, candy cane, anything they want.” John:“ Wonderful, I love it!” Sam: “I know you would, and even better the customers can explore the hotel and its fine elegance.”