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Do it yourself emergency kit

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On one fine Monday morning, our clients received this in their inbox. There was a very good reason why we were telling our clients how to do advertising. See the last page.

On one fine Monday morning, our clients received this in their inbox. There was a very good reason why we were telling our clients how to do advertising. See the last page.

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  • 1. NOT FOR SALE DO-IT-YOURSELF EMERGENCYKIT McCann Er ickson (India) Pvt. Ltd., McCann House, Dr. S. S. Rao Road, Parel, Mumbai - 400 012. tel.: 022-2417 6600fax:022-24176666.www.mccannworldgroup.com DO-IT-YOURSELF EMERGENCY KIT Print Hoarding POS Films Radio
  • 2. PREAMBLE GETTING STARTED DECODING THE BRIEF PRINT ADVERTISING OUTDOOR ADVERTISING POS TV COMMERCIALS RADIO SPOTS AFTER YOU ARE DONE EPILOGUE
  • 3. OKAY! YOUʼVE LANDED YOURSELF IN A SPOT.DONʼT WORRY, THIS TOO SHALL PASS. REMEMBER TO KEEP BREATHING. AND KEEP ADHERING TO GUIDELINES STRICTLY AND YOU SHALL SOON BE BACK ON TRACK. WEʼVE HANDLED FAR STICKIER SITUATIONS THAN THIS, SO TRUST US, YOU ARE IN GOOD HANDS. DEDICATED ACCOUNT PLANNING, BUZZING CREATIVE HOT SHOTS AND ABOUT A COLLECTIVE CENTURY OF EXPERIENCE HAS GONE INTO MAKING THIS MANUAL. SO RELAX AND READ ON.
  • 4. GETTING STARTED HEREʼS A LIST OF THINGS THAT YOU WOULD NEED BEFORE YOU START MAKING AN ADVERTISEMENT. IDEALLY A DEGREE IN ARTS OR DESIGNING IS PREFERABLE AND OF COURSE, A COMMAND OVER ENGLISH LANGUAGE. BUT NEVER MIND, ITʼS TOO LATE FOR THAT. Letʼs start with your desk. Keep positive energy all around you. An uncluttered desk doesnʼt necessarily mean having a creative bent of mind. Scented candles, things to do list and of course, the brief, might help. A photo of your dear ones, a phone (but keep it on silent), a dozen stress balls go hand in hand. Keep all of them handy. You may also want to stock toothpastes, mouthwash (if you smoke cigarettes), chewing gum, cushions and blankets. But you donʼt want to get too comfortable, it doesnʼt help working in the wee hours of the night. Speaking about desks, get a PC or an Apple MacBook Pro. Approximately a 2 Ghz processor unless you want to see a TV commercial frame by frame. If you already have a comp just delete all your MP3 files and your games. You see you need all the processing power you need. The details are given below, in case you donʼt understand them, just send them off to your IT Department or a teenager with zits and he would understand:
  • 5. GETTING STARTED Windows: Intel® Pentium® 4 (3.4GHz processor for HDV), Microsoft® Windows® XP or Windows Vista. Ideally a GB of RAM; more RAM recommended when running multiple components. 160 GB Sata HDD. Microsoft DirectX or ASIO compatible sound card. 1,280x1,024 monitor resolution with 32-bit video card. DVD-ROM drive. DVD+-R burner required for DVD creation. OHCI compatible IEEE 1394 port for DV and HDV capture, export to tape, and transmit to DV device. Internet or phone connection required. Macintosh: PowerPC® G4 or G5 or multicore Intel processor. Mac OS X v.10.4.9; Java. 1GB of RAM; more RAM recommended when running multiple components. 160 GB Sata HDD. Core Audio compatible sound card. 1,280x1,024 monitor resolution with 32-bit video card. DVD-ROM drive. SuperDrive required for DVD burning. QuickTime 7.1.5 software required to use QuickTime features. Internet or phone connection required. Softwares: You would need a bunch of softwares to do advertising. Never mind what they told you in school about mind being the fastest computer. If that was so, we would have told you all this telepathically. Adobe Creative Suite 2: Includes Adobe Photoshop, Adobe Illustrator and bunch of other softwares that you can do in your free time. Adobe Freehand MX: Looks a lot like Adobe Illustrator, except it hangs too often. CorelDRAW X3 Graphics Suite: Includes Corel PowerTRACE to help you trace illustrations. For the ignoramus, illustrations arenʼt files made from Adobe Illustrator. QuarkXpress 7: Made by Quark, it has been the forerunner of layouts and has been used worldwide. And it looks somehow that old too.
  • 6. A) DEADLINE: ESSENTIALLY NOTING THE DEADLINE IS VITAL. VIS-À-VIS IT MEANS CANCELLING ALL YOUR DATES WHICH YOU HAVE BEEN PLANNING FOR MONTHS, PUTTING THINGS ON HOLD. CONSIDERING YOU ARE ALREADY READING THIS MANUAL, IT MEANS YOU ARE ALREADY AWARE SO KEEP READING FASTER AND GET CRACKING. B) ENSURE THAT THE BRIEF IS COMPLETE. YOU CANʼT DESIGN SOMETHING THAT IS STILL IN THE PIPELINE. YOU CANʼT HAVE 4 CATCHY HEADLINES AND A 40 PAGE DOCUMENT ATTACHED ALONG WITH IT THAT EXPLAINS THE HEADLINES. THE BRIEF HAS TO CONTAIN EVERYTHING THE RECIPIENT (IN THIS CASE, YOU) NEEDS TO KNOW TO DO THE JOB YOUʼRE BEING ASKED FOR. C) REQUIREMENTS: BEFORE YOU START WORKING, NOTE THE REQUIREMENTS. YOU CANʼT THINK OF A HEADLINE FOR A RADIO SPOT. FORTUNATELY WE HAVE GIVEN A TEMPLATE FOR ALL SORTS OF REQUIREMENTS. SO JUST UNDERSTAND THE BRIEF AND SKIP TO THE SECTION DIRECTLY. DECODING THE BRIEF DECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODING THE BRIEF DECODING BRIEF DECODING BRIEF DECODING BRIEF DECODING BRIEF DECODING BRIEF DECODING BRIEF DECODING BRIEF DECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODINGDECODING HEREʼS WHERE SPIES AND SECRET SERVICE TRAINING WOULD HELP. BUT FORTUNATELY FOR YOU, YOU CAN SKIP THIS STEP AS YOU WRITE THE BRIEF YOURSELF. NEVER THE LESS, HEREʼS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.
  • 7. AH! THE HOLY GRAIL OF ADVERTISING. EVER SINCE PAXTON INVENTED THE PRINTING PRESS, THERE HAS BEEN ADVERTISING JUNKIES REJOICING AND GROANING AT THE SAME TIME. ORDINARILY IT TAKES TIME AND EXPERIENCE TILL WE ALLOW ANYONE TO DO A PRINT AD BUT OF COURSE; TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE HERE. ADVERTISING PRI NT
  • 8. ADVERTISING PRI NT a) Size b) Visual c) Headline d) Font e) Logo f) Baseline g) Body copy h) Parent company i) Brand colours j) Miscellaneous TEMPLATE OF A PRINT AD. a) Size b) Visual c) Headline d) Font e) Logo f) Baseline g) Body copy h) Parent company i) Brand colours j) Miscellaneous A B C D E F G H I J
  • 9. ADVERTISING PRI NT A) SIZE: The most crucial element in any print ad is the size. No matter what women keep telling men, size does matter. Especially when it has to go to print. Thereʼs a very good reason why restaurants ask how many tables or why cloth salesmen ask for your shirt size before anything else. Once you get a fix on the size, the rest is extremely easy. Horizontal ad/Vertical ad/Strip ad/Double spread/Centre spread... B) VISUAL: They arenʼt just pieces of art that provide visual relief in a newspaper. They are the face of your organisation. They represent whatever you need to communicate. So to that effect, we have selected a bank of images that you can choose and place whichever suits your need best. WHILE SELECTING PICTURES: Mark the hair shine. Add a little bounce to them. You donʼt want bald guys using your product. Note wrinkles and remove them while system correcting. Smoothen the skin. Give her a shave. Remember what your mom said: Nobody likes yellow teeth. No dandruff. Youʼve seen shampoo ads. You know how dandruff repels people. No matter how many times, the model washes her hands. You never know where they have been. Correct them.
  • 10. ADVERTISING PRI NT LOREM IPSUM DOLOR SIT AMET, CONSECTETUER ADIPISCING ELIT. C) HEADLINE: No thatʼs not what you need to chant before you start working on a headline, thatʼs Latin for dummy text. It helps you place in the layout before you can think of one. Fortunately, you donʼt have to. WE HAVE SELECTED HEADLINES THAT CAN BE PLACED ACROSS CATEGORIES.
  • 11. AUTOMOBILES: Now drive faster than you can read this. Faster than a speeding bullet is such a cliché. Youʼll run out of roads before you run out of fuel. Make your own road. So spacious, you will need a GPS to get out of it. BEVERAGES: Refreshes like no other. Start your day with (Company name here). Taste that gets you going on. Make your taste buds dance. Water doesnʼt even come close. BUSINESS EQUIPMENTS AND SERVICES: Helping business do business is our business. No matter what your need be, we are there. For complete business solutions, come to us. Whoever said handling business wasnʼt meant for everybody? Make your company go places. CORPORATE: It gets lonely at the top. But after so many years, you get used to it. Itʼs no wonder that we won. After all, itʼs a habit for us. To others, winning would be an achievement. For us, itʼs just the beginning. Sorry if we are saying the same thing again. But weʼve nothing else to say except we are no. 1 again. Weʼd love to tell you about our past awards. But that way we would be turning our back towards the future. DINING: You may want to buy bigger pants. Heaven isnʼt a place. Itʼs our food actually. When everybody says letʼs go someplace else, you know what they mean. Where food isnʼt just feast for your eyes. Exactly how long has your wife been nagging to take her out? ENTERTAINMENT: All of a sudden, there are fewer people on the streets. You may never want to leave home again. Pleasure at your finger tips. Quite literally. More than just entertainment. Itʼs (Company name here). Couch potato just got a whole new meaning. FINANCE & BANKING: Bank with us because the world banks on us. Itʼs like borrowing money from a friend. After we took our bank places, we decided the only place to go was virtual. With so many debit cards, perhaps we are the only bank that made your wallet lighter. Now your dreams are a reality. HOME ELECTRONICS: Experience a world of fantasies. Visit places without moving from your couch. Everything is now made easy. Always thinking of you. Your life just got a whole lot better. MEDICINES AND OTC: Making the world a better place. Because life is precious. Life is our lifeʼs work. Hospital ceilings are boring. So that life doesnʼt have a pause. PERSONAL TOILETRIES, COSMETICS AND PERFUMES: For the man/woman in you. Be yourself. Turn the charm on tonight. Remember to breathe in. Give yourself the makeover you always wanted. SHOPPING: Everything you can possibly desire. Everything for home and beyond. Weʼve moved closer to your home. Your telephone. Itʼs time to change your wardrobe. Itʼs all in here. TRAVEL AND LEISURE: Because living vicariously is boring. Going. Going. Gone. Make your honeymoon a whole lot special. We have a restaurant in Tahiti with your name on it. Youʼve seen the world through TV. Now see it from 60,000 ft above sea level. ADVERTISING PRI NT C) HEADLINE:
  • 12. ADVERTISING PRI NT D) FONT NO, WE ARE NOT MAKING A STATEMENT. ITʼS A SENTENCE WITH ALL THE ALPHABETS IN IT, SO YOU CAN TYPE IT WHILE SELECTING FONTS. HEREʼS A LIST OF FONTS THAT ARE NEUTRAL AND CAN GO WELL WITH ANY LAYOUT THAT YOU HAVE SELECTED. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. Aa Bb Cc Dd Ee Ff Gg Hh Ii Jj Kk Ll Mm Nn Oo Pp Qq Rr Ss Tt Uu Vv Ww Xx Yy Zz. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 <>:”’;.,/?)(*&^%$#@! Garamond(regular) WE RECOMMEND: Swiss Family. (As the name suggests, it doesnʼt treat the alphabets like subjects.) Goudy Old Style. (Donʼt be fooled by its name. Itʼll truly spruce up your headline a notch.) Helvetica Family. (A legend to its name and certainly to your ad as well.) Myriad Roman Family. (Donʼt worry. Itʼs nothing like Caligula or Brutus for that matter.)
  • 13. ADVERTISING PRI NT E) LOGO The logo has to be optically placed in a print ad. In this case, it would be at the bottom right corner. Ideally, it would have to be kept at an optimum size which gives equal weightage to all the elements in the advertisement. BUT WE RECOMMEND INCREASING THE SIZE OF THE LOGO TO 10-12 % FROM TIME TO TIME FOR OPTIMUM SATISFACTION AND CLEARER VISIBILITY. THIS IS OF COURSE DEPENDENT ON THE NATURE OF THE ADVERTISEMENT AND THE ADVERTISER. corner. Ideally, it would have to be kept at an optimum size which gives equal weightage to all the elements in the advertisement. BUT WE RECOMMEND INCREASING THE SIZE OF THE LOGO TO 10-12 % FROM TIME TO TIME FOR OPTIMUM SATISFACTION AND CLEARER VISIBILITY. THIS IS OF COURSE DEPENDENT ON THE NATURE OF THE ADVERTISEMENT AND THE ADVERTISER.
  • 14. ADVERTISING PRI NT F) BASELINE WE INSPIRE/THINKING OF YOU/FOR YOUR SUCCESS/ PIONEERING THE FUTURE/FUTUREPROOF. SUMMING UP THE NATURE OF COMMUNICATION AND ITS TONE AND MANNER IS THE BASELINE. IT SHOULD REPRESENT THE COMPANYʼS MOTIVES AND WHAT THRIVES UNDERNEATH THEM. (NO PUN INTENDED.) A CREDO, IF YOU WILL. LEST YOUR COMPANY HASNʼT DECIDED ON ONE, HERE ARE A FEW OPTIONS THAT CAN GO WELL NO MATTER WHAT THE ETHOS OF YOUR ORGANISATION MAY BE:
  • 15. ADVERTISING PRI NT G) BODY COPY While the body copy explains the communication in a precise and suave way, it has to hold all the sentences together as if they were bounded by glue. Hereʼs where conjunctions help. Below are attached a few references, unless of course, you want to paste them directly, you can gladly do so. Option 1: At (Company name here), we always design our value-added products and services keeping you in mind. So that you donʼt have to worry a thing. And thatʼs because we have state-of-the-art technology and cutting-edge design to give you complete peace of mind. Whatʼs more, we also have a strong network so that we constantly innovate our offerings to make your life better. And thatʼs why, we always succeed. Option 2: Now all your dreams are can become a reality. And thatʼs because we are (Company name). A leading company with a huge network that works 24/7 for you. And thatʼs not all, we also have state-of-the-art technology and cutting-edge design to give you complete peace of mind. Furthermore, we also have alliances across the world so that we constantly innovate to make your life better.
  • 16. ADVERTISING PRI NT H) COLOURS White: A symbol of purity. Elegance at itʼs best. Pristine look. Best used when there are fewer elements. Red: Symbolises passion. Shows flair. Shows vibrancy. Recommended for products which are distinct. Black: Stop frowning. It shows heraldry. Is distinct. Recommended when placing an ad amongst clutter. Violet: Shows royalty. A tad sensitive. Pursuit to perform. And goes best when you run out of colours. Purple: More than just royalty. An uncommon colour. Has stood the hands of time. EACH COMPANY HAS A SET OF BRAND COLOURS. COLOURS THAT DEFY THE PURPOSE OF A LOGO OR PRODUCT USAGE. IF YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE DECIDED, SKIP. IF NOT, READ ON. FOR BRAND COLOURS, A HUGE CHUNK OF MONEY AND TIME IS SPENT ON DEFINING COLOURS THAT SET THE TONE. CONSIDERING NOW THEREʼS NEITHER, WE HAVE ATTACHED A FEW COLOURS AND THE MOODS AND EMOTIONS THEY REPRESENT SO YOU CAN SELECT WHICH COLOUR GOES BEST. ALTHOUGH BY NOW YOU WOULD BE SEEING SPOTS.
  • 17. ADVERTISING PRI NT I) MISCELLANEOUS HEREʼS WHEN THE BRIEF YOU HAVE DOESNʼT FIT INTO EITHER OF THE ABOVE HEADLINE CATEGORIES. AND YOU THOUGHT WE WOULDNʼT HAVE THOUGHT OF IT, DIDNʼT YOU?
  • 18. ADVERTISING PRI NT A: offers WHEN THE COMPETITOR STRIKES. WHEN YOU NEED A CARROT TO DANGLE. WHEN YOU NEED TO ADD THE JAZZ. HEREʼS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO:Exactly what you need to make (enter festival here) special. Presenting an offer thatʼs as special as you. (Enter offer here). And you thought this day was boring. Now you know what you would be doing this afternoon. (Enter offer here). There goes your piggy bank. Headlines:
  • 19. ADVERTISING PRI NT B: star burst DONʼT PANIC. WE GOT IT ALL SORTED OUT. THE EASIEST THING TO DO, YOU SAY. OR IS IT? DO YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW MANY SPIKES ARE NEEDED IN A STAR BURSTS THAT WILL MAKE A CONSUMER JUMP OFF HIS/HER SEAT AND RUSH TO THE COUNTER?
  • 20. ADVERTISING PRI NT C: offer specific body copy
  • 21. ADVERTISING PRI NT D: terms and conditions Hereʼs where copywriting gets legal and well lethal. Lethal because itʼs dangerous. There are tons of creeps out there who await newspaper everyday and someone to sue. So you need to get clearance from the legal department before placing matter there. All you have to do is just take the data from them and paste it on to a word document and run a spell check. Note where conditions apply, the asterisks, the works, appear and do them dutifully. And remember that artistic license doesnʼt mean squat here.
  • 22. ADVERTISING PRI NT E: dealer panel Hereʼs: when, temptations: go unbound and: you, feel the twang: to put in, every possible: dealerʼs, address. But: minimal is the way: to go. The: first thing, to do, is take: the entire, dealer: panel. Place: them on, the layout: and then, adapt: the layout, to, the, remaining: size. There you go. Hereʼs: when, temptations: go unbound and: you, feel the twang: to put in, every possible: dealerʼs, address. But: minimal is the way: to go. The: first thing, to do, is take: the entire, dealer: panel. Place: them on, the layout: and then, adapt: the layout, to, the, remaining: size. There you go. Hereʼs: when, temptations: go unbound and: you, feel the twang: to put in, every possible: dealerʼs, address. But: minimal is the way: to go. The: first thing, to do, is take: the entire, dealer: panel. Place: them on, the layout: and then, adapt: the layout, to, the, remaining: size. There you go. JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOUʼRE DONE KINDLY REFER TO THE SECTION “AFTER YOU ARE DONE.”
  • 23. HEREʼS THE POSTER BOY OF ADVERTISING: OUTDOOR. IT LIGHTS UP THE CITY AND ENDS UP AS A LANDMARK FOR PEOPLE ASKING FOR DIRECTIONS. BUT THEREʼS ONE THING YOU NEED TO REMEMBER, FEWER WORDS HELP. IF ITʼS A VISUAL-BASED HOARDING, EVEN BETTER. YOU DONʼT WANT YOUR HOARDING TO BE THE CAUSE OF ACCIDENTS. ESSENTIALLY HOARDINGS HAPPEN TO BE AN ADAPTATION OF PRINT ADS. SO WHAT YOU CAN DO IS JUST SHORTEN HEADLINES AND YOU ARE ALL SET. BUT THEN, YOU WOULD HAVE TO AFFIX A SIZE FOR THE HEADLINE (S). NOW TO CALCULATE THAT, YOU WILL HAVE TO CALCULATE THE HEIGHT FROM WHICH THE HOARDING WILL BE VIEWED (H), THE DISTANCE FROM THE BASE TO THE VIEWER (D), THE VELOCITY AT WHICH S/HEʼS TRAVELLING (V) AND FINALLY THE RATIO OF THE HOARDING (R). ITʼS A VERY COMPLICATED PROCEDURE BUT WE TRIED TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOU. SO THE FORMULA GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS: S = √H X D ÷ V X ∏ SEE, AS EASY AS UNDERSTANDING ZERO POINT ENERGY. DUH!
  • 24. UNLESS THE IDEA THAT YOU ARE THINKING IS COMPLETELY A HOARDING BASED IDEA, MOST OF THE PRINT IDEAS CAN BE ADAPTED TO HOARDING. IN CASE ITʼS NOT A HOARDING BASED IDEA, YOU CAN FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS BELOW JUST BLINDLY. IF NOT, THEN RELAX, MOST OF THE PRINT HEADLINES ARE ADAPTED TO OUTDOOR. (SEE, WE THOUGHT OF IT FOREHAND.) JUST DO AWAY WITH THE BODY COPY AND YOU ARE GOOD TO GO. NOT UNLESS YOU DONʼT DO THINGS TO . 1:1 RATIO HOARDING/2:1 RATIO HOARDING 1:2 RATIO HOARDING/BANNER ADAP T A T I ONS1 1.5 2 3 1 1 Remember putting up a flyer for your lost dog? Well, itʼs nothing like that. But donʼt worry, all you have to do is select the headlines from print, pick a visual, put it a size (phew!) and then take a print out and ta da! Wait, you arenʼt done yet. You have to refer to the “After youʼre done” section. POSTERRemember putting up a flyer for your lost dog? Well, itʼs nothing like that. But donʼt worry, all you have to do is select the headlines from print, pick a visual, put it a size (phew!) and then take a Wait, you arenʼt done yet. You have to refer to POSTER
  • 25. POINT OF SALE WEBSTERʼS DICTIONARY DEFINES SHOP AS A HANDICRAFT ESTABLISHMENT, A ROOM/BUILDING STOCKED WITH MERCHANDISE FOR SALE OR A COMMERCIAL ESTABLISHMENT. BUT IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND, WE WOULD HAVE TO CLICK THE NAGGING ONLINE POP-UP BANNER THAT APPEARS SCREAMING, “BUY!” SO THAT DEFINITION GOES RIGHT OUT OF THE WINDOW. POINT OF SALE, HMMM? HOPE WE MAKE A GOOD POINT HERE. THE BASIC FORMS OF POS before that, thereʼs a tiny, insignificant, baby little hiccup. where is the pos going into? is it a restaurant? is it a shop? a retail chain? a dark alley? so you can think of the pos as per the location, the size, the target audience. oh! the target audience. here comes the tricky part. first things first. when in the brief, you define the person, the consumer, the king, the one that is going to part with his/her money, just note down his shoe size. why? you ask? because you have to get into it. you have to feel like him/her, behave like the person and if it helps, dress like the person. do a little background study about the place too. if you place a dangler at the entrance of shop and it hits a person on his forehead, thatʼs your quarterly target going with a bump. ONCE YOUʼVE DONE ALL THAT, HERE ARE A FEW POS DISPLAYS THAT YOU CAN USE: DANGLERS/BUNTINGS/STANDEE/TENT CARDS/BALLOT BOXES/SHELF STRIPS/BANNER/ONLINE BANNER WAIT, YOU STILL ARENʼT DONE YET. YOU HAVE TO REFER TO THE “AFTER YOUʼRE DONE” SECTION.
  • 26. TV COMMERCIALS AHA! HEREʼS WHERE IT GETS JUICIER AND THICKER. WE MEAN THE PLOT. HEREʼS WHEN YOU WILL GRAB THE ATTENTION OF AN INNOCENT PROGRAM WATCHER AND MAKE HIM FEEL EMOTIONS, LAUGHTER, DESIRES AND FANTASIES. SO OUR BEST ADVICE IS NO, DONʼT. YOU WILL PROBABLY WANT IT TO BE THE MOST FANTASTIC FILM. WE SEE A FEW HEADS NODDING. AND YOU WANT IT TO BE NOT LOOSENING YOUR PURSE STRINGS. MORE HEAD NODDING. AND YOU WANT IT TO SAY EVERYTHING, RIGHT? STOP NODDING YOUR HEAD LIKE THAT, WEʼRE SCARED NOW. SO IN ORDER TO DO THAT IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY IS PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. NO, NO THE SCRIPT WILL BE IN ORDER. ITʼS THE OTHERS THAT WEʼRE WORRIED ABOUT. WHAT OTHERS? WELL, THEREʼS THE DIRECTOR, THE PRODUCTION HOUSE, THE CASTING, THE LOCATION, THE DATE, THE PROPS, THE MAKE-UP ARTISTS, THE SPOT BOYS, THE AUDIO, THE OFFLINE, THE ONLINE, THE EDITOR,THELIGHTS,THECAMERA,THESOUND.GOODLUCKSEEINGACTION.
  • 27. TVC FORMAT THE FIRST THING IS THE SCRIPT. NOT THE IDEA. YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE IDEA IN THE WORLD ABOUT THE WORLD BUT YOU HAVE TO SEE THE IDEA IN A SCRIPT FORMAT. YOU CANʼT HAVE TWO ALIENS DANCING AROUND THE PRODUCT IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ORIENTAL RESTAURANT WHICH IS IN A DESERT AND A SEMI-CLOTHED TEENAGER PICKING UP THE PRODUCT AND GOING, “MMMMMM…” THE FILM NEEDS A START AND AN END. JUST LIKE STORYTELLING. “IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT…” SCRIPTING: YOUR SCRIPT NEEDS TO READ LIKE A STORY, FLOW LIKE A RIVER AND OF COURSE, ENTERTAIN. REMEMBER THERE A PERSON HOLDING A REMOTE CONTROL IN HIS HAND AND CAN MAKE YOUR BUDGET GO KAPUT. BUT THEN, WE ARE BATTLING AGAINST THE TIME HERE. SO HEREʼS A SCRIPT THAT YOU CAN USE BY JUST ELIMINATING WHICH BEST SUITS YOUR NEED AND YOUR BUDGET. TITLE: HAPPINESS. COMPANY NAME: (ENTER NAME). DURATION: 30 SECONDERS. FILM OPENS ON A MAURITUS BEACH/CITY PARK/ RESTAURANT/DINER. YOU SEE A FAMILY OF FOUR/ A COUPLE (PREFERABLY HETROSEXUALS) ENJOYING THEMSELVES. THEY SMILE TO THE CAMERA. SUPER: ENRICHING LIVES. CUT TO, THEM INSIDE A CAR. THEY SMILE AND THE LADY/THE GIRL/THE LITTLE BOY LOOK OUTSIDE. SUPER: GOING PLACES. CUT TO, THEM AT A LOVERʼS POINT/MOUNTAIN SIDE/SEEING PLANES TAKE OFF AND THE GIRL/LADY/BOY POINTS AT THE PLANE AND SMILES. SUPER: NEWER MILESTONES. PRODUCT/COMPANY SHOTS. MVO: WE ARE (COMPANY NAME HERE). SUPER: COMPANY LOGO. IN CASE YOU WANT A SHORTER DURATION, JUST USE FASTER EDITS. SNIP! SNIP! REMEMBER TO TIME IT WELL. WAIT, YOU STILL ARENʼT DONE YET. YOU HAVE TO REFER TO THE “AFTER YOUʼRE DONE” SECTION.
  • 28. THIS WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU COULD HEAR WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY INSTEAD OF READING IT. BUT THATʼS BECAUSE WITH THE RADIO YOU CANʼT READ. NOW IMAGINE DESCRIBING WHAT A ROSE SMELLS LIKE TO THE OPTICALLY CHALLENGED. THATʼS EXACTLY WHAT YOUʼVE GOT TO DO. IN 30 SECONDS OR LESS. RADIO SPOTS ARE IDEALLY 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 45 OR 60 SECONDS. SO THE DURATION WILL TELL YOU HOW MUCH YOU CAN PLAY WITH THE LISTENERʼS IMAGINATION. IDEALLY WE WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU A SCRIPT, BUT THATʼS THE BEST PART ABOUT RADIO. ANYTHING GOES. YOU COULD SING YOUR PRODUCTʼS NAME/BASELINE TO A TUNE. ANNOUNCE THE OFFER LIKE A SALESMAN. AND IT WOULD WORK. WAIT, YOU STILL ARENʼT DONE YET. YOU HAVE TO REFER TO THE “AFTER YOUʼRE DONE” SECTION. RADIO SPOTS
  • 29. AFTER YOU ARE DONE. THE TITLE ACTUALLY SHOULD HAVE READ: AFTER YOU ARE DONE. OR AT LEAST WHEN YOU THINK YOU HAVE. THATʼS BECAUSE THEY STILL HAVE TO BE MADE READY. READY IN THE SENSE TO BE USED IN THE MEDIUM. YOU NEED TO SEND LAYOUTS TO THE SUPPLIERS. YOU NEED TO GIVE BETA TAPES TO THE CHANNEL. GIVE THEM FORM, OH, CREATOR. PRINT ADVERTISING After you are finished with the layouts, you need to system correct the images. Artwork the file. Export them. Burn a CD. Courier them. Then take whatever life is remaining and call the newspaper to confirm. Hereʼs where all the training you received about micro-managing and delegation would come handy. So hereʼs what you should do: a) Send all the images youʼve selected to the image processor with huge printouts and checking for corrections. (Corrections meaning whiteness of teeth, enhancing cleavage, removing wrinkles from models and all that jazz or the glamour bit of advertising.) b) Await images from processor. (Which implies panic attacks and palpitations.) c) Use the high-resolution images and put them into artwork. d) From artwork file, export into a 300 DPI Tiff/EPS/PDF file. e) Burn a CD of the file. (Burn in the sense, write a CD for the ignoramus.) f) Check if CD has been burnt properly. g) Despatch it off. (In between try frantically calling to newspaper asking if deadlines can be pushed.) h) Collect receipt. i) Uncork a bottle of Moet. OUTDOOR ADVERTISING The instructions are same as print, except at the end when you uncork a bottle of tequila. RADIO ADVERTISING After you have scripted your radio spot, you have to record them. For which a recording studio would help. If you are using your own voice, who cares? You get your 15 seconds of fame anyway. Thankfully, you donʼt have to do much here. Just record the voice. Praise the VO artists in between. Wait for the recording artist to mix. Ask him to burn the CD and drop it off at the radio station. TELEVISION ADVERTISING Enter the mother ship of all executions. Just when you thought the scripting was all there to it. Youʼll have to juggle between lots of people. Including your better-half or soon to be ex. Hope you had a prenuptial agreement. Now that you have a script in hand, call up a couple of production houses. On the safer hand, call up a dozen. You would be lucky if you can get one to match up with the dates that you have. Do a storyboard. Or a cheap comic book that explains the commercial. Bounce the script and no matter what estimates you get go for it. Itʼs lucky that you got him to agree to do it. Then take the script and dutifully remove all possible traces that root back to you. Send the storyboard off to the TV authority and await an approval. Unless you tinkered with the clothes that the female was wearing in our script, you have nothing to worry about. Then go off to the location, have fun, see sights, eat and be merry and once in a while go to the set and see the shoot. Once the film is canned. And note this (bold, italics and underlined), do not tinker with the director. He knows what heʼs doing. Thereʼs a very good reason why heʼs a director. Piss him off and all you will have are the models minus the camera. And as if they are going to listen to you. Next see the online. Check the recording and sound levels and see if the script is given justice. If not, then shorten media spends and use it for the next script. Send the film to the television authority and get the final approval with baited breath. Once that is done, you can set the media budget and all is done. Then you hit temples/mosques/churches or wherever you pray and hope that everyone watches television only when your commercial is aired. OKAY! NOW WE THINK YOU ARE DONE.
  • 30. BUT DONʼT WORRY. CHANCES ARE YOUʼLL NEVER GET TO USE THIS MANUAL, AS BY THEN WE WOULD BE BACK FROM OUR 3-DAY HOLIDAY IN GOA. EPILO GUE 12 14- OCT 2007 G O A