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Embrace thetiger

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Your staff needs an attitude adjustment, or you have a really cranky, non-compliant patient. You know you should step up to the plate and say something, or the behavior will continue. ...

Your staff needs an attitude adjustment, or you have a really cranky, non-compliant patient. You know you should step up to the plate and say something, or the behavior will continue.

So why don’t you?

Because you’re like most of us… you’d rather set your hair on fire than face a confrontation.

In this presentation you will learn techniques to use to approach confrontation with an open heart and an inquiring mind, and will find that the difficult conversations are interesting, fun, and yield results.


 Give examples of confrontations that you have avoided in the past, and the deleterious effect of non-confrontation
 Describe confrontations that you have embraced, that lead to better than expected outcomes
 Exercise techniques and skills to embrace confrontation in your practice
 Create your culture of friendly confrontation for your office and develop an implementation strategy

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  • 1. Embrace the Tiger: How to Enjoy Difficult Conversations with Your Staff & Patients Patricia L Raymond MD FACP FACG Rx for Sanity, Norfolk VA RxForSanity.com
  • 2. If we dont change, we dont grow. If we dont grow, we are not really living.Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. ~ Gail Sheehy Learners agreement RxForSanity.com
  • 3. The Sylvia TechniqueDon’t Mirror, HarmonizeWhiplash Avoidance/misdirection RxForSanity.com
  • 4. A appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile –hoping it will eat him last. ~Winston Churchill RxForSanity.com
  • 5. Carefront- Judith Briles“When you ________, I felt ________because _______ . Was it your intentto _______? STOP: Wait for responseIn the future, ________ .If there isn’t a change, _______ .” Scripted confrontation RxForSanity.com
  • 6. 1. How do you feel about confrontation? RxForSanity.com
  • 7. Interactions with othersoften described as attacks • Heart broken • Butt kicked • Ego bruised • Stabbed in the back • Crushed • Stepped on • Left hanging RxForSanity.com
  • 8. How do you feel about confrontation? • Hunker Down • The more I ignore things, the bigger they get. RxForSanity.com
  • 9. Embrace the TigerReturn to Mountain ~Tiger Form Tai Chi, Nam Hoa Temple RxForSanity.com
  • 10. Conflict = Danger + Opportunity Potential Pictogram, p95 qual confront RxForSanity.com
  • 11. When women are depressedthey eat or go shopping. Meninvade another country. It’s awhole different way ofthinking. ~ Elayne Boosler Women p96 UN RxForSanity.com
  • 12. Bonobos verses Chimpanzees RxForSanity.com
  • 13. No One and Nothingis against me. Car cuts you off in traffic, 2 A phone call RxForSanity.com
  • 14. 10 years private practice in a group No One and NothingGI Fellowship PGY 2-3 GI Fellowship PGY-1is against me. Internship/Residency in Internal Medicine Medical SchoolChemistry Major- hate being in a lab by myself! RxForSanity.com
  • 15. Do people– your spouse, children, colleagues,staff, patients, friends, strangers in the street-hold a measure of your well-being hostage?How comfortable are you with conflict?What kinds of situations put you on theoffensive? RxForSanity.com
  • 16. 2. Chart yourpast confrontation history (PCH) RxForSanity.com
  • 17. What have you done to avoid conflict?How do you avoid or prevent conflict?What kinds of situations put you onthe offensive? RxForSanity.com
  • 18. Do your obstacles have a theme? Have your obstacles made you stronger/wiser, or do you keep doing the same thing over and over? RxForSanity.com
  • 19. Insanity:doing the same thingover and over againand expecting different results ~ Albert Einstein RxForSanity.com
  • 20. 3. Recast conflict as a blessing RxForSanity.com
  • 21. Eye of the Storm •Peace, calm, clarity, stillness. •Experience the storm without resisting or fighting it. RxForSanity.com
  • 22. “All crises were not meant to be managed.Embrace the chaos.”~Susan Elizabeth Phillips,Breathing Room RxForSanity.com
  • 23. Recast your life experiences Choose to see it differently Be present in the moment RxForSanity.com
  • 24. 4. Next Confrontation -Did your sphincters tighten? -Keep trying to see conflict as blessing, potential, opportunity -If that doesn’t work… RxForSanity.com
  • 25. Pull upyour big girl panties, & deal with it! ~ A cocktail napkin RxForSanity.com
  • 26. Courage is like a muscle.We strengthen it with use. ~ Ruth Gordon RxForSanity.com
  • 27. Time to embrace the tiger -Ones you initiate -Ones that are thrust upon you RxForSanity.com
  • 28. Embracing the tiger: Ones you start • First, get centered • Second, establish who you are wiling to be in the moment • Select three, and if you can get the other party to commit to three…) RxForSanity.com
  • 29. Select three states of being • Alert • Generous • Appreciative • Gentle • Attentive • Grateful • Clear • Joyous • Compassionate • Kind • Courageous • Loving • Creative • Open • Empowering • Present • Enthusiastic • Receptive • Flexible • Supportive • Focused • Truthful • Vulnerable RxForSanity.com
  • 30. Embracing the tiger:Ones that are thrust upon you • Cultivate non-resistance • Martial arts, yielding • Don’t tense up! Resistance is futile. Non-resistance is fertile. RxForSanity.com
  • 31. Embracing the tiger:Ones that are thrust upon you • Only two sentences for you: Tell me more. What do you need? ~or~ What’s missing for you? Mom work excuse RxForSanity.com
  • 32. LISTEN! “attend to them with the ear of your heart…” ~Prologue, Rules of St. Benedict RxForSanity.com
  • 33. The Chinese character for "listeningattentively" • Consists of five characters: - the character for ear - for standing still - for ten - for eye, and - for heart and mind. • Listening attentively means: "When in stillness, one listens with the heart. The ear is worth ten eyes." -- Zen Master Dae Gak, "The Practice of Listening" RxForSanity.com
  • 34. Now, Choose your next tigers! • If you had a magic wand, and could wave it over your staff/patients/colleagues and get them to do any one thing differently, what would you choose and why? • If the people in your office were singing a blues song about their job, what would they be singing about EXACTLY? RxForSanity.com
  • 35. It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always dowhat you are afraid to do." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson RxForSanity.com
  • 36. You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you dont try. ~ Beverly Sills RxForSanity.com
  • 37. RxForSanity.com
  • 38. IIIRxForSanity.com
  • 39. I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. ~ Louisa May Alcott RxForSanity.com
  • 40. Pull upyour big girl panties, & deal with it! ~ A cocktail napkin RxForSanity.com