Dealing With Difficult People Leadership Day

Welcome to
How To Handle Difficult People

Welcome!!!!

Welcome to
How To Handle Difficult People

Reasons for Learning the Skill of Dealing with Difficult People
Keeps you from going crazy
Separates the people from the problem
Assists in accomplishing objectives
Increase ministry effectiveness
Forces you to practice self-discipline

What Makes a Person “Difficult”? They are a bottleneck to the productivity in the congregation Constant complaining about everything No concern for others feelings They do not live out the Great Commandment When people interrupt your conversation DD 0703 2of29

What Are Some Challenging Behaviors? Blaming Manipulating Interrupting Sarcastic Excuse-making Controlling Criticizing Yelling Complaining Gossiping Murmuring Passive Aggressive

Biblical Model to Handle Conflict
"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. "I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

2 Corinthians 12:20
20For I fear that when I come, I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish; I fear that there may perhaps be quarrelling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.

Staying Calm
Breathe
In through the nose – out through the mouth
Pace
Depth
Relax
Jaws
Neck
Body
Maintain Healthy Attitude
Nondefensive
Confident, not arogant
Don’t take yourself to seriously
Repeat coping statements

Dealing with your emotions in difficult situations
F
E
A
R
ace the conflict/difficult people xpect the best results ssess the situation eact appropriately

10 Myths About Anger
Getting angry is the only way to get things done
It’s only natural to respond that way
Strongly confronting an angry person will back them down
Intimidation wins respect
Verbal or physical venting will have lasting calming effects
Anger is a bad emotion
There is only one way to deal with anger
Anger can’t be helped (it is just the way I am)
Not getting angry means they got away with it.
Ignore it and it will go away

What Are Some Challenging Behaviors? Blaming Manipulating Interrupting Sarcastic Excuse-making Yelling Criticizing One-upmanship Complaining Gossiping Murmuring Passive Aggressive

Identify Your Personal Communication Style and Understand Others
Task Focus
Passive Aggressive
People Focus
Get It Right Get It Done Get Along Get Appreciated

Get It Right
Strengths
Accurate
Fact finder
Precise
Organized

Get It Right
Weaknesses
Stubborn
Boring
Unimaginative
Change stifler

Get It Right
Effective Behaviors
Know your stuff
Schedule time – make an appointment
Use facts, logic, and structure
Proceed step-by-step

Get It Done
Strengths
Decisive
Gets things done
Confident

Get It Done
Weaknesses
Intimidates
Alienates people
Uses force instead of cooperation

Get It Done
Effective Behaviors
Get to the point
Approach businesslike
Be task-oriented
Understand and support their goals

Get Appreciated
Strengths
People-oriented
Persuasive
Verbal skills
Optimistic

Get Appreciated
Weaknesses
Egotistical
Lacks follow-through
Flaky
Disorganized

Get Appreciated
Effective Behaviors
Use flexibility
Be enthusiastic
Let them talk
Use demonstrations

Get Along
Strengths
Likeable
Loyal
Team Player
Patient

Get Along
Weaknesses
Indecisive
Wasted time
Overly emotional
Illogical decisions

Get Along
Effective Behaviors
Be casual and sincere
Slow down and listen
Make honesty safe
Set goals
Build them up

Identify Your Personal Communication Style and Understand Others
Task Focus
Passive Aggressive
People Focus
Get It Right Get It Done Get Along Get Appreciated

Gain More Power With Difficult People
Pacing
Backtracking
Clarifying

Is It Worth Salvaging? DD 0703 26of29 Pros Cons

Conflict Management Strategies Collaborate Compete Compromise Avoid Accommodate

Tips for Managing Conflict
Deal with conflict in a timely manner
If possible, keep information about the conflict confidential
Take responsibility for personal change
Focus on problem solving

True insanity is continuing to do what we have always done and expecting a different outcome.
Freud

http://www.slideshare.net	38
http://makingdisciples.wordpress.com	16
http://www.e-presentations.us	6
http://mgmt.talkingvillage.com	2

Dealing With Difficult People Leadership Day

by William Chaney on Feb 08, 2009

Accessibility

Categories

Tags

Upload Details

Usage Rights

4 Embeds 62

Statistics

Dealing With Difficult People Leadership Day — Presentation Transcript