You can have a subtle cue so you partner can let you know if it's too hard or feedback if they want it harder without breaking the role-play.
It can be fun and exciting to create playful words to use with your partner and remain within the role-play of dominance and submission. If you use your imagination of course, you can make it a part of the play.
Research Shows S&M Activities, Though Stressful At First, May Bring Couples Closer
Amateur spanking is stressful at first, but it could bring consenting couples closer together, according to two studies of hormonal changes associated with sadomasochistic (S&M) activities.
At the Northern Illinois University they have measured levels of the stress hormone cortisol in 13 men and women at an S&M party before, during and after participating in activities. Through the duration of S&M scenes, cortisol jumped in those receiving stimulation, however it faded within 40 minutes if the scene went well.
There was no change in those inflicting the activity.
At another event, testosterone was measured in 45 men and women.
It increased significantly in receiving women only.
Couples who engage in bondage and spanking, may end up strengthening their relationship, according to a new study published in the magazine New Scientist.
Two separate studies, one from Northern Illinois University and one from the University of Pisa in Italy, researched hormone levels at S&M parties.
"...practitioners provided physiological measures of salivary cortisol and testosterone (hormones associated with stress and dominance, respectively) and psychological measures of relationship closeness before and after participating in SM activities. Observed activities included bondage, sensory deprivation, a variety of painful and pleasurable stimulation, verbal and non-verbal communication, and expressions of caring and affection. During the scenes, cortisol rose significantly for participants who were bound, receiving stimulation, and following orders, but not for participants who were providing stimulation, orders, or structure. Female participants who were bound, receiving stimulation, and following orders also showed increases in testosterone during the scenes. ...The increases in relationship closeness combined with the displays of caring and affection observed as part of the SM activities offer support for the modern view that SM, when performed consensually, has the potential to increase intimacy between participants."