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Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata hain.Uska Naam kya hai?
Marte hue aadmi ko kya dene kaa?
Birla Plus Cement(Kyun ki is cement mein jaan hain!!)
Ab thoda maths ho jaaye.According to new research,
Abey Bewakoof.............Galti se !!!!
Why does a sardar use an Earbud to clean a wall?
Kyun ki usne suna tha ki “Deewaron ke bhi kaan
In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and
the water level of the pond increases. How?
A - The other 9 fish are crying.................
Ek Ladka lecture attend karta hai.Lecture ke baad use bhookh lagti
hai.So he goes to the canteen.Canteen mein woh ek pav leta hai. Jaise
hi woh pav khane keliye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein
"jannat" likha hai.Ab aapko yeh batana hai ki woh jiska lecture attend
karke aa raha hai! ,us professor ka naam kya hai???
Ishq Ki Chhaon.
(Reason :- Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....)
Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in love with each other and want
to get married, but cannot.Why?
Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is illegal.
A sardar keeps 2 glasses of water next to his bed while sleeping, one
with water and the other without water. Why?
'Pyaas' ajeeb hai kabhi lag sakti hai, kabhi nahi lagti.
One day a man is sitting in the jungle under a tree and a 'popat' sits
on his shoulder, and the man dies. Why ?
Ans. Because 'popat' was the name of an elephant.
10 Ants are walking on a road. 9 are black. 1 is white. Why ?
One of them is a widow
Which Gutkha do giraffes like the most?
A. Manikchand (Oonche log oonchi pasand)
Once a man whispered something into a Sardar's ear.After hearing it
,the Sardar died.
What did the man say to him?
What is the name of Jackie Chan's Mother-in-law?
A. D-COLD Total (Chan ki Saans!)
Now what is the name of Jackie Chan’s Daughter-in-law?
A. D-COLD Total (Kyunki Saans bhi kabhi Bahu thi!!)
What are the three versions of JAVA software?
1.) Mar JAVA
2.) Mit JAVA
3.) Kar JAVA
Paani ka 'popat' kaise karne ka ?
Paani garam karke..nahne ka nahi
Aur ek baar Paani ka 'popat' kaise karne ka ?
Nal khol kar ... Bucket nikal do.
On the border of India and Pakistan there is tremendous tension but
none attacks. Why ?
Because Dishum Dishum toh Pepsodent ka kaam hai.
Srinath gives a Pepsi bottle to Kumble And Kumble gives it to Sehwag.
Because Sehwag is the Opener.
Hare and Tortoise appear for HSC. Hare gets 95% and Tortoise gets
84%. Tortoise gets into VJTI and the Hare does not. How?
Ram and Laxman go to the jungle. They need to climb a tree for
fruits. Ram climbs easily. Why?
Because Ram is GOD.
Laxman tries climbing.. but cannot climb. Why ?
Because he is V.V.S Laxman.
Once an Auto rickshaw driver goes into NO ENTRY. The Police does
not catch him. Why?
Ans. Because he was walking.
5 solutions anyone ?
2 men are sitting in a boat and have only 2 cigarettes, but no match-
sticks or lighter, but want to smoke. How do they do it ?
They throw one cigarette in the water , so the boat becomes
Kisses one cigarette - Toh Doosra Jal Jaata Hai
Throws one cigarette in the air and catches it. Catches win MATCHES.
Sprinkles some water on one cigarette - (Tip Tip Barsa Paani, Paani ne
AAG lagayi)-(w.r.t MOHRA)
Draws a line with a cigarette on his body which leaves a mark- (w.r.t
DAAG - The Fire).
What wud u call a Gal who never laughs....?
What wud u call a Gal who always pushes her father ....?
An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat
the bananas. Why ?
Because the bananas are made of plastic.
The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?
Because the elephant is made of plastic.
Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it.
Because the bananas are in the TV.
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it
cannot eat it. Why?
Because they are on different channels.
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the
same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
Because the TV is off.
Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas.Why?
Itna kyun soch rahe ho yaar...Kya bigada hain usne aapka...Khane do
naa bichare ko!!!
Once a cockroach was singing a song while he was walking on the
road.But all of a sudden he died.Why?
A. B'coz the song he was singing was HIT!!!
A lizard is on the wall of a theater. After the show,
the lizard falls. Why ?
Because it starts Clapping
(Note:- In Marathi,a staircase is called 'Jeena')
A boy and a girl look into each others eyes on a staircase and then
find themselves in Sahara Desert.Why?
Aankhon hi aankhon mein ishara ho gaya,
Baithe Baithe 'Jeene' ka 'Sahara' ho gaya.
Kareena Kapoor does not allow anybody to use the stairs of her apart-
Coz 'Jeena' Sirf Mere Liye!!!
Shahrukh khan ka plural?
Coz Shahrukh says - Main hoon naa!
ICICI says - Hum hain naa!
An elephant was in love with a she-elephant. But the
she-elephant went and got married to some other elephant. So our
elephant was very depressed. One of his friends felt sorry for him,
and took him to a park to cheer him up. In the park, they sat on a
see-saw, but the see-saw broke. Now, which song would our hero sing?
Ans: "See-saw ho ya dil ho, aakhir toot jaata hai."
One fine morning, Ravan felt guilty day for all his bad
deeds.He felt that he should go an apologise to Ram for all the prob-
lems he had caused. So he went to Ram's house and knocked on the
door. Ram opened the door and was surprised to find Ravan standing
there. Ravan just kept staring and thinking but didn't say a word.
What was he thinking?
Ans: "Kis mooh se maafi maangoon?"
What will you call a person who is departing from India?
If he comes back to India very soon.What is he called?
Hindustan Lever Limited.
Who is Joe?
Kambakt ishq... Because "Kambakt ishq hai Joe!”
Once there was a person who hated evryone....naaa use kisi se pyaar
thaa.........naa uska koi yaar thaaaaaa..but strangely !!! he faced one
big major problem.Whenever he used to buy some trousers,jeans from
market, immediately thezip of that particular thing
used to disappear.
Yaar bina "chain" kahan re!!!
Pyaar bina "chain" kahan re!!!
Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
What will you call a bird who eats stone?
Simple….A stone-eating bird!!
A man is walking on the road with a milk bottle and a car comes
speeding from behind and honks.The man starts drinking the milk.Why?
Because the horn says 'Pee Pee'(Drink Drink)
Elephant and mosquito get married but the mosquito dies on the wed-
B'coz the elephant puts on 'Good-Night'
What is the opposite of Dominos Pizza?
Domi 'doesn't know' Pizza.
Ek Sardar paani ke andar rehta hain,toh uska naam kya rahega?
Abhi agar woh paani ke bahar aa jaaye ,toh uska naam kya hoga?
Abey akal ke dushman, soch maat.Paani se bahar aane ke baad naam
kaise change hoga!
Three persons (American,Japanese & Indian(Sardarji)) are flying in an
aeroplane.They think of an idea of hitting a target on the ground by
using a stone.Now first American tries his luck…and hits the
target.Now Japanese also tries his hand..but he misses by some dis-
tance.Now its sardarji's turn ..and he too throws the stone aiming at
the target..but his stone doesnt even reach the ground..why?
Remember the Stone-eating bird? The bird eats the stone .
Mangal Pandey Series
What would have been the name of the movie 'Mangal Pandey'….
If Aamir Khan was a bachelor?
If Aamir Khan wore 'Chudiyas'?
If it was released during 1993 riots?
If Aamir Khan was shown as a WWE Wrestler?
If Aamir Khan was shown at the Gym?
If Dialogues would not be audible?
If it was released during Christmas?
If Aamir Khan was wearing a blanket instead of a coat?
If Aamir Khan gets an infection during shooting?
If something evil happens while watching the movie?
Now that the movie is a flop, what should be its name?
What is the Center of Gravity?
its V .............. the center of "gra V ity.
What would Dharmendra say to Hema Malini if he wants her to call
Ring De Basanti
A man asks for Priyagold biscuits from Inzamam.Why?
'Haq' se mango!!
If Emraan Hashmi is serial kisser,Who is a parallel kisser?
Once there is a peacock who rides a bike.Every hour he comes to a
tea stall where some people are sitting.He gives them a smile and goes
away.He does this every hour.Why?
Coz he's riding a TVS Victor("More" smiles per hour)
A boy eats only the inner part of samosa.Why?
Because his mother had told him - "Bahar ka maat khao".
Ek baar ek murgi ped pe chad ke,oodne ki koshish karti hain.Lekin woh
gir jaati hain.Doosri baar woh phir oodne jaati hain .Yeh baar who ood
Pehli baar girne se uska 'popat' hota hain.
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