The Shakespeare diet


Published on

A humorous interview with Shakespeare about his attempts to lose weight, where all of his responses are lines taken from his plays.

Published in: Entertainment & Humor
  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

No Downloads
Total views
On SlideShare
From Embeds
Number of Embeds
Embeds 0
No embeds

No notes for slide

The Shakespeare diet

  1. 1. Shakespeare in love …. with food By David Shafer The scene: a room full of reporters at a news conference. “Mr. Shakespeare?” “Who is it in the press that calls on me?” (Julius Caesar I. ii.55) “I know that voice.” (King Lear IV. vi. 97) „What is your name?” (The Tempest III. i. 37) “I‟m the food critic for the Times. How is your tour going, promoting your new play? “Not so hot.” (King Lear V. iii. 67) “I have been in such a pickle since I saw you last” (The Tempest V. i. 282) “Read this schedule” (Julius Caesar III. I. 3) “I have heard that you are trying to lose some weight, yet I see here that you are scheduled for a lot of fancy benefit dinners.” “Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!” (The Taming of the Shrew V. ii. 12) “The dinner is on the table.” (The Merry Wives of Windsor I. i. 262) “I must eat my dinner.” (The Tempest I. ii. 331) “I eat and eat, I swear.” (King Henry the Fifth V. i. 51) “What would make you feel better?” “Let me have men about me that are fat.” (Julius Caesar I. ii. 192) “Will you dine with me tomorrow?” (Julius Caesar I. ii. 293) “I resent that – I am pleasantly plump. Do you have problems with snacking?”
  2. 2. “Tis not a time for private stomaching.” (Antony and Cleopatra II. ii. 10) “But this must keep you up late, with all the public dinners and socializing.” “Yes” (Timon of Athens I. i. 220) “And I‟ll go to bed at noon.” (King Lear III. vi. 90) “What did you eat mornings, before your new diet?” “Eight wild boars roasted whole at a breakfast.” (Antony and Cleopatra II. ii. 185) “How did that make you feel?” “How‟s that?” (King Lear I. v. 47) “I said, how did that make you feel?” “Very like a whale.” (Hamlet III. ii. 397) “What did you look like then? “A heavy sight” (Antony and Cleopatra IV. xv. 41) “Do you have any restrictions in your new diet?” “Sir, I will eat no meat.” (Antony and Cleopatra V. ii. 49) “Do you have trouble with that? “Anger‟s my meat.” (Coriolanus IV. ii. 50) “That‟s meat and drink to me now.” (The Merry Wives of Windsor I. i. 304)
  3. 3. “Do you have a daily weight-loss goal?” “A pound of flesh” (The Merchant of Venice IV. i. 307) “We have heard that you are very secretive about a scone recipe your friends rave about.” “O come, come, come.” (Antony and Cleopatra IV. xv. 37) “Get me ink and paper.” (Antony and Cleopatra I. v. 76) “I‟ll write it.” (Antony and Cleopatra III. xiii. 28) “The tabloids say that you have been seeing a lot of a certain mysterious woman.” “What paper were you reading?” (King Lear I. ii. 30) “Why the “Globe”, and they say she is quite a looker.” “I have seen better faces in my time.” (King Lear II. ii. 99) “It seems you really like the ladies.” I know that a woman is a dish for the gods.” (Antony and Cleopatra V. ii. 273) “The devil himself will not eat a woman. “There you go with a food metaphor. I see you are having a hard time adjusting to the idea of being on a diet.” “Can you eat roots, and drink cold water?” (Timon of Athens V. i. 77) “My belly‟s as cold as if I had swallowed snowballs.” (The Merry Wives of Windsor III. v. 23) “I guess it‟s just a matter of restraint” “Believe me, there‟s no such thing in me.” (The Merry Wives of Windsor III. iii. 73)
  4. 4. “Maybe you should consider a diet spa.” “O that this too too solid flesh would melt.” (Hamlet I. ii. 129) “They would melt me out of my fat drop by drop” (The Merry Wives of Windsor IV. v. 100) “So it is probably a good idea for you to try.” “I think so too.” (Othello III. iii. 126) “Well sir, I hope when I do it I shall do it on a full stomach.” (Love‟s Labour‟s Lost I. ii. 153) “We have heard that you are trying to shed weight quickly by some drastic measures – what is it that you have been having for lunch lately?” “Four pounds of prunes, and as many of raisins.” (The Winter‟s Tale IV. iii. 50) “Sounds unhealthy to me. How about leaving us with some better diet advice.” “Unquiet meals make ill digestions.” (The Comedy of Errors V. i. 74) “A surfeit of the sweetest things the deepest loathing to the stomach brings (A Midsummer-Night‟s Dream II. ii. 137) “Anything else?” “This is too long.” (Hamlet II. ii. 519) “No more: the text is foolish.” (King Lear IV. ii. 38)