Talking to students about dating, sex...and marriage
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Talking to students about dating, sex...and marriage

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Jake Kircher - Talking to students about dating, sex...and marriage

Jake Kircher - Talking to students about dating, sex...and marriage

Open Boston 2013
http://boston.openym.org

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  • How many of you currently do a teaching or series on these topics?Please feel free to ask questions as we go…
  • Intentionally or not…It’s uncomfortable…Parents and pastors say no…
  • Rules based…what if I fail or don’t listen? Am I not a Christian if I…
  • Wisdom is learned in two ways…1. Coming along side someone and explainingEvery situation and person are different2. Experiencing the consequences yourself
  • The natural desire for a boyfriend/girlfriend, hormones, “It’s not good for the man to be alone”Takes God out of the pictureTakes ourselves out of the picture – kids don’t want to disappoint us
  • If you aren’t having these conversations with your middle schoolers, you are setting yourself up.Get ahead of the curve!When are your students “dating?”When are they learning about sex? 7th grade boys…
  • Share stats, explain your reasoning and ask him to get behind you
  • Run a workshop for themEmail, snail mailWe’re doing this…feel free to keep your kids at homeWhat tools do you use?
  • They will take their cue from youBe willing to go there…mention ideas, phrases, etc.
  • Skit Guys are great!
  • The Dating Game/The Newlywed Game
  • Most of our students assume our “answer,” especially those who have grown up in the church.Teaching them to think completely disarms a conversation
  • Emphasizes wisdom…not a “correct age” etc.
  • Prayer!God fills Adam’s need – it’s not good for man to be alone
  • This is why a man with leave his father and mother and the two will be united into one.Why do you want the relationship?Are you willing to serve or do you just want to get?
  • Again, it’s not good for the man to be alone.Proverbs over and over…Not just their friends, but a variety of voices
  • Do you want the same things? Are your lives heading in a similar direction? Are your morals the same?Use these questions when you meet with students. (Sterling at Wendy’s)Use these about breaking up and about marriage
  • It’s why I believe we HAVE TO talk to our students about marriage
  • Hormones!!! Natural
  • …AND Marriage
  • Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children
  • Touching the stove…Holymess of marriage

Talking to students about dating, sex...and marriage Talking to students about dating, sex...and marriage Presentation Transcript

  • The message the Church tends to send…
  • The problem with“just don’t do it”
  • The problem with “just don’t do it”1.Emphasizes legalism
  • The problem with “just don’t do it” 1.Emphasizes legalism2. Ignores wisdom
  • The problem with“just don’t do it”
  • The problem with “just don’t do it” 1.Emphasizes legalism2. Ignores wisdom3. De-emphasizes
  • Changing theconversat
  • Startearly!!
  • Start early!!1. Get your senior pastor on board
  • Start early!!1. Get your senior pastor on board 2. Over communicate to
  • GetComforta ble
  • Get Comforta1. Use a humorous ble video clip
  • Get Comforta 1. Use a humorous ble video clip2. Have students do a skit
  • Get Comforta 1. Use a humorous ble video clip2. Have students do a skit
  • Get Comforta 1. Use a humorous ble video clip2. Have students do a skit
  • Teachthem to think
  • Teach them toFour conversations: think
  • Teach them toFour conversations:1.Have you talked with think God?(Genesis 2:18-24)
  • Teach them toFour conversations:1.Have you talked with think God?(Genesis 2:18-24)2. Have you talked with Yourself? (Genesis 2:24)
  • Teach them toFour conversations:1.Have you talked with think God?(Genesis 2:18-24)2. Have you talked with Yourself? (Genesis 2:24) 3.Have you talked to
  • Teach them toFour conversations:1.Have you talked with think God?(Genesis 2:18-24)2. Have you talked with Yourself? (Genesis 2:24) 3.Have you talked to
  • Put thingsin Context
  • Put thingsin Context
  • Put thingsin Context
  • Put things in ContextAcquaintanc es
  • Put thingsin Context Friendship
  • Put thingsin Context
  • Put thingsin Context
  • Put thingsin Context dating
  • Put thingsin Context Serious Dating
  • Put thingsin Context Engagement
  • Put thingsin Context Marriage
  • Put thingsin Context“There is no such thing as „premarital‟ intercourse in the Bible.Intercourse…cons titutes the sexual
  • Put thingsin Context
  • Put things in Context Students Want to get married someday… 82% of female high school seniors and 70% ofmales say that “having a good marriage and family life” is
  • Put things in Context…and they “learn” about marriage every day!
  • Put things in Context…and they “learn” about marriage every day!
  • Put things in Context…and they “learn” about marriage every day!
  • Make it personal1. When you are vulnerable,your students will follow suit
  • Make it personal1. When you are vulnerable,your students will follow suit