He was a friendly man most of the time, but he could be really
He could be really friendly, or he could be miserable.
It was a warm day, yet storm clouds gathered over the distant
It was a beautiful morning for a walk, so he set off quite
But, Or, Yet and So
He was a
It was an
man with an
overgrown, messy garden
lifeless, leafless tree.
Each sentence has 2 adjectives before a first noun, followed by 2
adjectives before the second noun.
This type of sentence can be used to create strong images in the
The moon hung above us LIKE A patient,
pale white face.
Although it was August it was as cold AS A
late December evening.
Can you think of any for your writing?
• Frightened, terrified, confused, they ran from the creature.
• Amused, amazed, excited, he left the circus reluctantly.
• Confused, troubled, worried, she didn‟t know what had
These sentences are very good for showing us
the emotional state of a character.
• Exhausted and worried, cold and hungry, they did
not know how much further they could go.
• Injured and terrified, shocked and lost, he
wandered aimlessly across the battlefield.
• Angry and bewildered, numb and fearful, he
couldn‟t believe his eyes.
Description : Details
• The vampire is a dreadful creature: it kills by
sucking all the blood from its victims.
• Snails are slow: they take hours to cross the
shortest of distances.
• I was exhausted: I hadn‟t slept for more than two
The first part is descriptive and then the second
part adds detail.
• Flying, John had always been terrified
• Walking, he seemed to have been
This type of sentence is very powerful when opening a story.
The verb can be used to OPEN a sentence, followed by a comma
and then the name of the character.
Outside : Inside
• He laughed heartily at the joke he had just
been told. (At the same time it would be
true to say he was quite embarrassed).
• She told the little girl not to be so
naughty. (Inside, however, she was secretly
amused by what she had done).
The first part of the sentence tells us what is happening on the
OUTSIDE of the character. But the brackets tell us what
the character‟s true (INNER) feelings are.
If, if, if, then
• If the alarm had gone off, if the bus had been on
time, if the road repairs had finished, then his
life would not have been destroyed.
• If Hannibal hadn‟t lost, if Rome hadn‟t won, if
Carthage hadn‟t fallen, then the Mediterranean
would be a lot different today.
This is an extremely effective way of starting or ending a
• Desperate, she screamed for help.
• Terrified, he froze instantly.
• Anxious, they began to realise that they
were lost in the forest.
This is an extremely effective way of highlighting the emotion
that the character is feeling.
• Cakes, which taste fantastic, are not so good for your teeth.
final part of sentence adding detail
• Snakes, which scare me, are not always
• The garage, where he had his car repaired, had
been closed down.
• Where is the treasure? the diamonds? the gold?
• What if it rained? it poured? it became stormy?
• How did I feel? yesterday? this morning? now?
Ad, same ad
• He was a fast runner, fast because he needed to be.
• He was a smart dresser, smart because he had the
money to buy the best.
• It was a silent town, silent in a way that did not make
you feel restless.
This is a great way to emphasise the adjective in a sentence
without it sounding boring.
3 bad – question?
• Greed, jealousy, hatred – which of these was John
Brown‟s worst trait?
• Incompetence, arrogance, stupidity – which of these was
Caesar's fatal flaw?
• Thirst, heatstroke, exhaustion – which would kill him
double ly ending
• He swam slowly and falteringly.
• He rode determinedly and swiftly.
• He laughed heartily and loudly.
These are very precise sentences, adding detail.
All the W’s
These are short sentences which begin with:
Who? What? Why? When? Where? Was? Will? What if?
They are used as: an opening, to engage the reader, or as an ending to
make the reader think.
• Why do you think he ran away?
• What next for the endangered species of Tonga Lizard?
• Why is our climate changing?
These are the most simple of
sentences, but can create a
perfect picture in the reader’s
•It was a dark, long, leafy lane.
•She had a cold, cruel cackle.
•It was a cold, wet, miserable
These sentences are compound sentences that use a semicolon rather than a conjunction. They are a useful way
of introducing an argument in fiction or non-fiction.
• Some people love football; others just can‟t stand it.
• Some day are full of enjoyment; others begin and end
• The rain wept down the window = sad mood.
• The wind screamed through the branches = tense mood.
• The breeze murmured through the branches = happy mood.
• The snow smothered the town = tense, claustrophobic mood.
These are very useful for creating moods in a
P.C. means paired conjunctions.
• It was both cold and unpleasant for him to work there.
• It was not so much the lack of time as fear that stopped him.
• Neither money nor gifts could make him visit the house.
• He was as silly as a clown.
The more, the more
• The more upset she was, the more the tears flowed.
action related to emotion
• The more happy she became, the more talkative she
seemed to be.
• The more angry he became, the more he banged his fists
on the table.
Then it happened.
Just like that.
Short sentences are formed using one, two or three words. They are
very effective when used for dramatic affect after long sentences,
or as dialogue between characters.
• Our „luxury‟ hotel turned out to be a farm building.
• The „trip of our dreams‟ was, in fact, our worst
• With dawn breaking the „beautiful view‟ revealed itself to
be a scrap-yard and rubbish tip.
The use of inverted commas shows the reader that the
statement is not true.
Imagine 3 examples :
• Imagine a time when people were not afraid, when life was much
simpler, when everyone helped each other: this is a story about that
• Imagine a place where the sun always shines, where wars never
happen, where no-one ever dies: in the Andromeda system, there is
such a planet.
This is a superb sentence to start a science fiction, or
indeed any other, story.
Point, Evidence, Explain. Use with non fiction to
give a view point. e.g.
Should we stay at school till 4:30
We will be to tired to learn all
Evidence – Scientists have proven frequent
better than long
Explain - With less time in the class room we
are able to
achieve more, allowing us to get