* Toilet Paper
There were three bald-headed middle-aged men, Choon, Gong and
Ho. They were staying in a hotel by the sea. One day the three of
them were taking a stroll along the beach. Suddenly a seagull
swooped down low and deposited its droppings on the bald head of
Gong. Ho, being a simple good-hearted person started to run back
to the hotel saying, “Don’t worry. I will soon be back with some
toilet paper.”
Pointing at Ho running to the hotel, Choon remarked to Gong,
“This Ho is really stupid. By the time he comes back with the toilet
paper, the seagull would have flown so far away!”
Reflecting … A person who lacks clear thinking and has
muddled-up views over matters can say or do foolish things.
* When I Die
Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by a well-known
artist. She told the artist, "Paint me with three-carat diamond earrings, a
large diamond necklace, glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful,
red ruby pendant."
"But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know," said Mrs. Johnson. "My health is not good and my husband is
having an affair with his secretary. When I die he will marry her, and I
want the bitch to go nuts looking for the jewelry."
Reflecting… An angry or furious person thinks of revenge. Will this solve
the problem?

HUMOR MATTERS 10
The Obituary 1O
A miserly old woman walked into
the local newspaper office to have
an obituary written for her husband who died a couple of days
ago. The person in charge at the office told her that the fee for the
obituary was one dollar per word. The woman thought for a while
and then said, “Let it just read ‘Fred Anson died.’
Amused at the woman’s ‘thrift’, the man at the office told her,
“I’m sorry ma’am. There is a 7-word minimum for all obituaries
put in our newspaper.”
The woman was getting annoyed. She pondered for a few seconds
and then said, “In that case write , ‘Fred Anson died. Good 1982
pick-up for sale.’ ”
Reflecting…
A miser’s behavior and actions can be most unbecoming … small
wonder why he or she cannot relate well to others.
* ‘If I Were A Millionaire…’
"Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with
the title 'If I Were a Millionaire'".
Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write
furiously.
"What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"
"I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.
Reflecting…
Never underestimate what a small kid can say or do …