With Humor 16
The Future Continuous
The Past Perfect
Complete the jokes by putting these verbs in the gaps
provided. Watch your spelling:
adopt ask entertain need drive go keep leave
1 That’s the tenth game we’ve lost in a row and we haven’t
even scored a single goal, shouted the angry manager of the
football team, Hamstold United. The team captain who had
not scored a goal for twenty matches went up to the manager
and said: > Boss, I’ve got a great idea to improve the team.
The manager looked at the captain, then said, Wonderful!
When will you be ….ing?
2 Mrs Perkins was extremely rich and lived in a large
country mansion. She phoned the fishmonger to order some
> I will be ……..ing some very important people this
evening, she said in her superior-sounding voice. So send me
25 oysters; not too small, not too large, not very old, not
tough and certainly not with any sand in them.
Certainly, madam, said the fishmonger. With or without
3 Patrick was a particularly mean person. Instead of buying
things he usually tried to borrow them. One Sunday, he called
at his next door neighbor’s house and asked:
> Will you be …..ing your lawnmower this afternoon?
Yes! Snapped his neighbor, determined not to give Patrick
anything. > Great! Said Patrick. Then can I borrow your golf
clubs? You won’t be …..ing them if you’re cutting your
4 Little Michael was pulling at his mother’s dress in the
kitchen to get her attention.
What is it, Michael?
> Will we be ……ing to see the monkeys as you promised?
But why do you want to see the monkeys when your
grandparents are here?
5 A famous female film star asked the artist, Pablo Cassels,
to paint her. Pablo was talking to his friend about it.
>Will you be …..ing her in the nude? asked the friend.
Oh no! said Pablo. I’ll be …..ing my clothes on!
6 Waiter! There’s a large mouse in my soup!
> Keep your voice down, sir. And don’t wave the mouse
about or everyone else in the restaurant will be ….ing for one!
7 Why do you want to learn French, Mr and Mrs Orr?
> Well, we’ll be …….ing a little French baby next month
and we want to be able to understand it when it begins to talk.
8 Derek Walton had driven coaches and taxis all his life but
gave up because he was fed up with listening to critical
passengers. However, he had no experience of any other kind
of work. He went to a job centre and after listening to his
story, the officer said,
I can offer you a driving job in which you will never be
troubled by back-seat drivers,
> And what will I be ……..ing” asked Derek.
1 leaving 2 entertaining 3 using / needing
5 painting 6 asking 7 adopting
How many young people
have been trapped
by the virtual world.
Until and unless they free
themselves from addiction
to the virtual world, they
can be socially and even