10 LAUGH Lessons He who laughs, lasts. Mary Pettibone Poole

Joke 1 The Ugly Baby A mother who was carrying a baby, boarded a bus. The bus driver remarked, “That is the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The mother fumed at the driver’s words but went to the back of the bus and sat down. ‘The stupid driver just insulted me,” she told the passenger sitting beside her. “ Why don’t you go right up there and tell him off?” her seatmate said. Next Slide Please…

“ While you do that, I’ll hold your monkey for you.” Reflection How often have we added salt to wounds due to ignorance, carelessness or a sheer lack of mindful wisdom? One needs to be observant and heedful before speaking. There is a Proverb : ‘The tongue may be 3-inch long but it can kill a man 6 feet tall.’

Joke 2 Dumb Pretty Nurse An ugly looking but brilliant doctor once told a dull-witted but very pretty nurse, “Even though you have little brains, your looks are simply great!” “ Oh, thank you, Doctor,” the dumb nurse said happily. “You know, how great it’d be if we were to get married …we’ll have children with your intelligence and my looks.” Next Slide please…

“ What if our children have my looks and your brains?” the doctor remarked. Reflection We cannot assume that things will turn out the way we want them to. Life can be unpredictable and things are uncertain. When one sees this fact of life, one grows in wisdom.

The Speaker A well-known motivation speaker gave a talk to a local Women’s Club. At the end of his talk, the secretary of the Club approached him with a cheque meant as reimbursement for his traveling expenses. The speaker declined the cheque and said it could be donated to any charity. “ Would you mind,” the Secretary asked, “if we put the donation into our Special Fund?” “ Not at all,” the speaker replied. “As a matter of curiosity, what’s the Special Fund for?” Next Slide please … Joke 3

“ To enable our Women’s Club to get a better speaker next year.” Reflection A lack of mindfulness and wisdom can cause much hurt to other people. One has to be mindful of one’s speech for it can be misconstrued by others thereby affecting relationships.

Joke 4 When The Boss Jokes … When the ‘high and mighty’ boss returned from lunch one day, he was in a good mood. He called the whole staff to listen to a couple of jokes that he had picked up. Everybody, except for one lady, laughed and clapped loudly. “Hey, what’s the matter with you?” the boss grumbled at the lady. “Don’t you have a sense of humor?” Next Slide please…

“ I don’t have to laugh,” the lady replied. “I’m leaving the company this Friday.” Reflection In a world of hypocrisy, many put on a front to please their superiors or to curry a favor from them. Honesty and sincerity are getting harder to come by.

Joke 5 The Cab Driver A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder as he wanted to ask him something. The driver gave out a loud scream, lost control of the car, nearly hit a van, drove up a curb and stopped just a few inches from a shop window. For a moment, everything went quiet in the cab and then the driver told the passenger, “Sir, don’t ever do that again. Did you know that you scared me out of my wits?” The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare the daylights out of you.” Next Slide please …

The driver said, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. You know, today is my first day as a cab driver. For the last twenty years I’ve been driving a funeral van.” Reflection : Great fear can arise when one associates a present happening with one’s past circumstances or experiences. When the mind goes to the past ( or the future ), negative feelings can arise. Live more in the NOW.

Joke 6 Tooth Extraction A woman and her husband had to interrupt their vacation to go to the dentist. “ I want a tooth extracted, and I don’t want any pain killers because I am in a hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible and then we’ll continue our vacation.” The dentist was quite impressed. “You are certainly a very brave woman,” he said “Which tooth is it?” Next Slide please …

The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show the dentist your tooth dear.” Reflection Many are concerned only about their own interests …they become insensitive to the suffering of others. Have more and more people become more materialistic, selfish and self-centered today?

Joke 7 The Watermelons A farmer in the country had a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovered that some of the local kids had been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thought of ways to discourage this dishonest eating of the watermelons. He put up a sign that read : “ WARNING – ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS THE POISON CYANIDE!” Next Slide please…

The farmer returned a week later to discover that none of the watermelons had been eaten but found a sign that read : “ NOW THERE ARE TWO!” Reflection In trying to solve a problem, a wrong strategy, instead of resolving the matter, complicates the problem even more. Real wisdom is needed to end a conflict or solve a problem.

Joke 8 No Respect The boss of a company used to throw his weight around . He often nagged his staff members unreasonably and told them that they must show more respect for him. One morning he brought a sign that read “ I AM THE BOSS ”. He hung it on his office door. Next Slide please…

Later that day when he returned from his lunch break, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign on his office door. The note said: “ YOUR WIFE CALLED. SHE WANTS HER SIGN BACK.” Reflection How many hen-pecked husbands become nasty bosses in their places of work, treating their subordinates in most unreasonable ways? Practise kindness to all.

Joke 9 An Anniversary Wish A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th wedding Anniversary. During their party, a wizard appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world and poof – the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said, “I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me.” Next Slide Please…

The wizard picked up his wand and poof – the husband was 90 years old. Reflection Unwholesome wishes sometimes come true in a most unexpected manner to the disappointment or detriment of the wisher.

Joke 10 A Final Moment Of Truth A man was lying on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: his wife and four children. Three of the children were tall, good looking and athletic, but the fourth and youngest was short and ugly. “ Darling wife,” the husband whispered, “assure me that the youngest child is really mine. I want to know the truth before I die. I will forgive you if …” The wife gently interrupted him, “Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question. I swear on my mother’s grave that you are his father.” The man gave a sigh and then died, happy. Next Slide Please…

The wife muttered under her breath, “Thank God he didn’t ask about the other three.” Reflection: How many spouses cheat on each other? There will be a price to pay for this sexual misconduct.

The End Seven jokeless days Make one very weak! May All Be Healthy And Happy! With Loving-Kindness, Bro. Oh Teik Bin