Communicating to Influence Delivered by Noam Kostucki
Influence, Persuade, Manipulate
The Great Onion Theory Values   Attitudes & Beliefs   Feelings Behaviours
Most likely babysitter? <ul><li>Actively rebellious </li></ul><ul><li>Showed disregard for law and authority </li></ul><ul...
<ul><li>Actively rebellious </li></ul><ul><li>Showed disregard for law and authority </li></ul><ul><li>Described as a prom...
Indirect People oriented Feeling Direct Task oriented Thinking Optmistic Extraverted Pessimistic Introverted Fun Enthusias...
How good are you at listening?
How do they feel?
How do they feel?
“ Mitigated Speech” <ul><li>Command: “Turn thirty degrees right” </li></ul><ul><li>Crew Obligation Statement: “I think we ...
All I ever needed to know, I learned in kindergarten <ul><li>Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and wha...
<ul><li>Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aw...
 
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Communicating To Influence

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This is the powerpoint that supported the - Communicating to Influence - training organized by the Directory of Social Change at the Charity Fair 2010 (http://www.charityfair.org.uk/) ------------ The training starts with looking at the ethics behind influence, persuasion and manipulation: where is the line? Then we look at the great onion: behaviour versus values. You then explore the different communication styles and finish on the habit some people have to hint.

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Communicating To Influence

  1. 1. Communicating to Influence Delivered by Noam Kostucki
  2. 2. Influence, Persuade, Manipulate
  3. 3. The Great Onion Theory Values Attitudes & Beliefs Feelings Behaviours
  4. 4. Most likely babysitter? <ul><li>Actively rebellious </li></ul><ul><li>Showed disregard for law and authority </li></ul><ul><li>Described as a promoter of violence and symbol of resistance </li></ul><ul><li>Imprisoned, accused of terrorist type activity </li></ul><ul><li>Married 3 times </li></ul><ul><li>Consistently absent as a father and husband </li></ul><ul><li>Brought up with a religious education </li></ul><ul><li>Interested in the arts </li></ul><ul><li>Described by many as studious and ambitious </li></ul><ul><li>A willing volunteer and missionary </li></ul><ul><li>Loyal serviceman </li></ul><ul><li>Awarded for bravery </li></ul><ul><li>Respected as an authority in his field </li></ul>
  5. 5. <ul><li>Actively rebellious </li></ul><ul><li>Showed disregard for law and authority </li></ul><ul><li>Described as a promoter of violence and symbol of resistance </li></ul><ul><li>Imprisoned, accused of terrorist type activity </li></ul><ul><li>Married 3 times </li></ul><ul><li>Consistently absent as a father and husband </li></ul><ul><li>Brought up with a religious education </li></ul><ul><li>Interested in the arts </li></ul><ul><li>Described by many as studious and ambitious </li></ul><ul><li>A willing volunteer and missionary </li></ul><ul><li>Loyal serviceman </li></ul><ul><li>Awarded for bravery </li></ul><ul><li>Respected as an authority in his field </li></ul>
  6. 6. Indirect People oriented Feeling Direct Task oriented Thinking Optmistic Extraverted Pessimistic Introverted Fun Enthusiastic Optimistic Unstructured Can be mischievous Forms opinions from feelings People-oriented Nice Can be slow to change Avoids confrontation and conflict Wants harmony Likes to know motivations Intuitive Direct Results-oriented Loves change and challenge Decides quickly Risk taker Seeks solutions Can be hasty Wants appreciation for job done – but does not want to be condescended to Decides after evaluation May be self-critical Concerned with ideas and principles Logical
  7. 7. How good are you at listening?
  8. 8. How do they feel?
  9. 9. How do they feel?
  10. 10. “ Mitigated Speech” <ul><li>Command: “Turn thirty degrees right” </li></ul><ul><li>Crew Obligation Statement: “I think we need to deviate right about now” </li></ul><ul><li>Crew Suggestion: “Let’s go around the weather” </li></ul><ul><li>Query: “Which direction would you like to deviate?” </li></ul><ul><li>Preference: “I think it would be wise to turn left or right” </li></ul><ul><li>Hint: “That return at twenty-five miles looks mean” </li></ul>
  11. 11. All I ever needed to know, I learned in kindergarten <ul><li>Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. </li></ul><ul><li>Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand box at nursery school. </li></ul><ul><li>These are the things I learned … </li></ul><ul><li>Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you are sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw some and paint and sing and dance and play and work everyday. </li></ul>
  12. 12. <ul><li>Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why. We are like that. </li></ul><ul><li>And then remember that book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK! Everything you need to know is there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation, ecology, and politics and the sane living. </li></ul><ul><li>Think of what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and clean up our own messes. And it is still true; no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together. </li></ul><ul><li>Robert Fulghum </li></ul>

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