Intoduct t Confl St es r ion o ict yl Copyright 2011 Riverhouse ePress www.ConflictStyleMatters.com
Two factorss trongly s h ap e ou rch oice of conflicts tyle :•How hard do wepush for the thingswe want , ouragenda?and…
How muchattention do wegive to ther aionship? el t
R e lations h ip and own Age nd aWh e n we p u t th etwo factors toge th e r,we ge t five differentst es of re s p ond ing ylto conflict.E ach h as :- a s p e cial focus- a u niqu e s e t ofstrengths andweaknesses.
High focus We’re doing it on own agenda my way... Let’s just get the job done. (We’ll worry about the relationship later...) DIRECTING Focus on own agenda: High Focus on relationship: LowLow focus on I win/you lose.relationship How? Assert, control, compete. Insist, demand, defeat.
High focus on relationship HARMONIZING Focus on own agenda: Low Focus on relationship: High Sure, I’m flexible . I lose/you win. Whatever How? Agree, go along, give in, you’re happy with is fine affirm. with me....Low focus onown agenda
Low focus on relationship AVOIDINGLet me outof here…!I don’t wantto talkabout it… Focus on own agenda: LowConflict?What Focus on relationship: Lowconflict? I lose/you lose. How? Withdraw, remain silent, walk away, postpone discussion, delay Low focus on responding. own agenda
High focus on own agendaLet’s talk thisthrough… COOPERATINGMy Focus on own agenda: Highpreferenceis….. Focus on relationship: HighAnd I want I win/you win.to hear andunderstand How? Dialogue. Agree to talk things through.yours….. Assert self and support the other. High focus on relationship
If we each back off and accept half of what we want, weCOMPROMISING can get anFocus on own agenda: agreementMedium and move on…Focus on relationship:MediumWe both win some/We bothlose some.How? Bargain, strike a deal,find a little something foreveryone.
“When t onl t you have he y oolis a hammer ever hing you , ytsee is a nail .” MarkTwainEach style is a valuable tool, essentialfor particular situations all of us face.We handle conflict better when we areskilled in using all five styles.Then we can choose the response mostlikely to bring a good outcome.Expand your ability to use all five stylesskillfully by learning the strengths andweaknesses of each style. Experimentwith greater use of styles you use least.www.ConflictStyleMatters.com
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