A typical Javanese wedding is rich in tradition. The wedding lasts for a period of around 5 days where the bride, groom and families of the bride and groom undergo many ‘phases’ before they can be officially married. The first of these phases is called ‘ Lamaran ’ and this is where the groom comes to the brides house for a proposal; asking permission from her parents. Five days to a week after lamaran , during which all the wedding preparations are made, they go inot the next phase.
The second phase of the wedding is called ‘ Pingitan ’. This is where the bride and the bridegroom are not allowed to see each other two days prior to the ‘ usok tukon ’ this is where the bride and groom switch wedding rings infront of some witnesses, and this means that they are officially married.
About 2 days after usok tukon the brideholds a sort of party at her house. This is called ‘ midodareni ’. This usually takes place on the eve of the wedding. Midodareni is when the groom comes to the brides house for a party to worship the bride that she will be blessed by the goddess or beautiful angels to make her look more beautiful.
In mododareni there is a ritual called ‘ siraman ’ this is where the bride is bathed by her parents to show that she is clean or a virgin.
Ijab kobul is where the bride and the bridegroom say their promises for marriage (also like vows) in front of the “ penhulu ”(state official wedding judge) then after that they go to the church or mosque for saying their promises/vows in front of the imam or priest.
Resepsi consists of some rituals:
Temon : this is when the bride and the bridegrooms family see each other for the very first time after pingitan and then they greet each other .
Mbalang kembang / lempar bunga : this is where the bride throws flowers to the bridegroom to show her love for him.
Ngidak ndok / injak telor : this is where the bridegroom steps on an egg and crushes it with his feet. Its shows that he will have sex with his bride to have children and create a family, and the bride will wash the bridegrooms feet to show her willingness to have children with her husband (laying egg).
4. Ndulang : this is where the bride places food in the bridegrooms mouth to show that she will serve the bridegroom as a loyal wife in the future.
Sungkeman : this where the bride and the bridegroom sit down on their knees to take blessings from their parents and in laws.
The last p art of the wedding is called the Pesta which means party. At this last phase some entertainment will be held by the bride and the bridegroom such as singing, dancing and eating some food with the guests.