Confidence, Credibility, and Conflict <br />Rob Buccino<br />Guest Presenter, Metro Mentoring Program<br />NeoCortex Consu...
Our interests<br />Their interests<br />When do we need confidence and credibility?In conflict<br />
Conflicts are everywhere<br />Getting heard<br />Getting respect<br />Asking for a raise<br />Selling<br />Dealing with yo...
How do we usually feelwhen facing conflicts?<br />
Fight<br />Flee<br />We have choices in how wedeal with our fear<br />Compromise<br />Co-creation<br />Freeze<br />
Our choices influence our confidence and credibility<br />Flee    Freeze    Fight   Compromise  Co-create<br />Less<br />M...
Why co-create?<br />Reduces fear and increases optimism<br />Addresses your interests AND theirs<br />Can increase the ove...
How to co-create<br />“Yes,but….”<br />“Yes, and….”<br />
Exercising co-creation: “A story that’s never been told”<br />Group picks a topic<br />Two volunteers<br />Each person say...
What obstacles block accepting another’s ideas?<br />How does it feel to have your ideas consistently accepted and built o...
Learning through listening is a keyto co-creation<br /><ul><li>Probe their interests
Declare your own
Create options for mutual gains</li></li></ul><li> Confirm understanding with ‘you-messages’<br /><ul><li>“Sounds like…”
“You’re feeling…”
“You’re thinking…”
“You’re concerned…”
“I see…”</li></ul>The essentials: “You” and “I”<br /> Declare your interests with‘I-messages’<br /><ul><li>“Hear me out…”
“I feel…”
“I’m thinking…”
“I’m concerned…”
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Confidence, Credibility, and Conflict

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Ideas on how to interact more credibly and confidently with co-workers, supervisors, vendors, and others by exploring interests and co-creating mutual gains solutions.

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  • The encouraging thing is that every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it you find that forever after you are freer than you ever were before. If you can live though that you can live through anything. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, `I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.&apos;The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it. If you fail anywhere along the line, it will take away your confidence. You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.You Learn By Living (1960), 29-30
  • Transcript of "Confidence, Credibility, and Conflict"

    1. 1. Confidence, Credibility, and Conflict <br />Rob Buccino<br />Guest Presenter, Metro Mentoring Program<br />NeoCortex Consulting Group<br />
    2. 2. Our interests<br />Their interests<br />When do we need confidence and credibility?In conflict<br />
    3. 3. Conflicts are everywhere<br />Getting heard<br />Getting respect<br />Asking for a raise<br />Selling<br />Dealing with your kids<br />Getting promoted<br />Delegating<br />Setting priorities<br />Making group choices<br />
    4. 4. How do we usually feelwhen facing conflicts?<br />
    5. 5. Fight<br />Flee<br />We have choices in how wedeal with our fear<br />Compromise<br />Co-creation<br />Freeze<br />
    6. 6. Our choices influence our confidence and credibility<br />Flee Freeze Fight Compromise Co-create<br />Less<br />More<br />
    7. 7. Why co-create?<br />Reduces fear and increases optimism<br />Addresses your interests AND theirs<br />Can increase the overall ‘win’ (vs. compromise)<br />Increases understanding and empathy<br />
    8. 8. How to co-create<br />“Yes,but….”<br />“Yes, and….”<br />
    9. 9. Exercising co-creation: “A story that’s never been told”<br />Group picks a topic<br />Two volunteers<br />Each person says one sentence<br />Next person says, “Yes, and…” before continuing the story<br />Do NOT say, “Yes, but…” or just “Yes”<br />Continue until told to stop<br />
    10. 10. What obstacles block accepting another’s ideas?<br />How does it feel to have your ideas consistently accepted and built on?<br />In what ways could you use co-creation to build confidence and credibility in your work? <br />
    11. 11. Learning through listening is a keyto co-creation<br /><ul><li>Probe their interests
    12. 12. Declare your own
    13. 13. Create options for mutual gains</li></li></ul><li> Confirm understanding with ‘you-messages’<br /><ul><li>“Sounds like…”
    14. 14. “You’re feeling…”
    15. 15. “You’re thinking…”
    16. 16. “You’re concerned…”
    17. 17. “I see…”</li></ul>The essentials: “You” and “I”<br /> Declare your interests with‘I-messages’<br /><ul><li>“Hear me out…”
    18. 18. “I feel…”
    19. 19. “I’m thinking…”
    20. 20. “I’m concerned…”
    21. 21. “Do you see…”</li></li></ul><li>Scenario:the performance review<br />On a five-point scale, your boss gave you a “3” for “takes initiative”<br />You want your level of initiative to be given greater recognition<br />
    22. 22. Group exercise<br />Create a “you-message” that helps surface the boss’ interests<br />Create an “I-message” that helps you declare your interests<br />How would you go aboutco-creating mutual gains?<br />
    23. 23. Discussion<br />
    24. 24. One other thing to think about…<br />
    25. 25. Credibility thrives on accountability<br />Choose your commitments<br />Timelines & specifications<br />Not what you “can do,” but “will do”<br />
    26. 26. In conclusion:from conflict can come creativity, confidence, and credibility…<br />
    27. 27. Eleanor Roosevelt<br />"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you must stop and look fear in the face."  <br />
    28. 28. Hamilton Mabie<br />“Don't be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against, not with, the wind.”<br />
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