NEAL RYAN SHAW
This production guide contains material of an adult nature relating to
adult entertainment. Before proceeding you must read, understand
and agree to the following statements regarding this guide and the
material within. By agreeing to the following statements, you are
conﬁrming and consenting that:
You are of legal adult age, as deﬁned by the country where
you are reading this guide, to view pornographic material.
You are reading this guide in a country or state where it is
not illegal to read about sexually explicit or pornographic
You are not offended by nudity, sexual imagery or any adult
You will not permit any minor, or other person for who it is
illegal, to access or view material that exists within this
IF YOU AGREE, TURN THE PAGE
Categories of Pornography*..................................................................................2
Purveyors of porn scramble to keep up with Internet*¤..................................5
Descriptions from Real Rape Fantasy Sites¤......................................................8
The Story of Phinehas*.........................................................................................26
Dionysius Hierarchy of Angels*.........................................................................28
Psychological Aspects of SMº.............................................................................33
Physical Abuse and Domestic Violenceº...........................................................37
* Relevant to “Hesperia”
¤ Relevant to “Ravishment”
º Relevant to “Svetlana”
Categories of Pornography
Hardcore depicts graphic sexual acts.
Softcore generally depicts naked or partially clothed women and/or men in
alluring poses, but does not show sexual activity, including sexual
Lolita (also known as lollipop) features women who are 18 years old or slightly
older, who pretend to be underage teen girls. The fetish centers around
this fantasy portrayal. Lolita pornography that features actual teenage
girls under the age of 18 is illegal in most countries and treated as child
pornography. Lolita pornography serves to ephebophiles.
Gang bang usually depicts numerous men having sex with one woman, or one man.
A scene where many women have sex with one submissive man is
referred to as a “reverse gang-bang”.
Gonzo involves a ﬁrst-person cameraman/performer perspective.
Renderotica pornography made using 3D computer graphics, usually with the 3D art
program Poser, made to represent people in various sexual acts.
Alt porn “Alternative pornography”—features performers with tattoos, piercings,
unusually coloured hair, or who have a goth or punk rock appearance.
Art porn features erotic art dedicated to speciﬁc pornstars. One of the ﬁrst art porn
groups is the Pornsaints collective, founded by the Italian artist Francesco
DP Double Penetration—depicts simultaneous anal and vaginal penetration
of one woman, or in some cases the penetration of one oriﬁce by two
penises or other objects.
BDSM Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism
BBW Big Beautiful Woman—features overweight or obese women.
JAV Japanese Adult Video—pornography produced in Japan for domestic
consumption, though it has a large international audience as well. JAV has
a number of features that place it in a unique genre when compared to
pornography produced in other countries. Notably, because of Japanese
obscenity laws, most Japanese pornography videos and photographs
include a “mosaic” that blocks the view of the performers genitalia.
(“Uncensored” JAV is also produced, though illegally.) JAV has a diverse
array of subgenres, many of which are the same as the subgenres in
general pornography, however, there are also fetish and costume genres
that are largely unique to the JAV milieu.
MILF Mom I’d Like to Fuck—features older women in fantasy scenarios with
For an extensive history of pornography:
“Porn on Web” by Igore Vetaller
Many of you oftenly ﬁnd some adult content during search of some kinds of
information. Even more, adult industry provides these materials in a various forms
theese days, in this article I’ve made a try to describe the most popular of these forms,
TGP, LinkLists, and TopLists.
TGP Most common form of adult content is actually a categorized list (more
oftenly it’s a table) of small pictures (so called “thumbs”) linked to
galleries. These sites are called a TGP (Thumbnailed Gallery Post), as a
rule, theese sites sort thumbs by category and type of content avalaible on
a linked gallery. Actually TGP is a site that contains table of thumbs that
lead to galleries that provide adult content in a form of pictures, but
because of signiﬁcantly increased bandwidth of internet users, many of
galleries provide materials in a form of video. Sites containing thumbs
that lead to galleries with video content are actually called MGP (Movie
Gallery Post). The main beneﬁt of TGP/MGP is that surfer can get ﬁrst
inpression of a content provided by gallery without actually visiting it.
The most abusive form of TGP is a so called CJ, that contains links that
mislead surfer to sites he actually didn’t wish to see.
LinkLists It seems that it was the ﬁrst web form of free adult content providers,
because of low bandwith requirements, linklists unlike TGP/MGP sites do
not list a huge amount of pictures. LinkList is a (frequently) categorised
web list of links to so called “freesites*”, but unlike TGP links are
provided in a form of text, not thumbs. It’s still a question which form is
more descriptive to a surfer, but many webmasters trends that thumb for
is more productive, and simpliﬁes searching. On the other hand, LinkLists
have large amount of uinique text, so that helps them to improve their
positions in serch engine’s listings.
TopLists Actually TopLists are the same LinkLists, but internal ranking of freesites
is based on incoming trafﬁc from that freesites. Except that, freesites
designed for TopLists have much more galleries.
*Freesite is a mini-site that as a rule consists of four pages (sometimes more), each page has it own role.
The ﬁrst page, so called “index” or “warning” page, is the entry point of freesite, contains text that warns
a surfer, telling that this site contains adult materials. Also, this page has “Enter”-link that actually text
link or image link with text like “I’m over 18” or “Enter”. Enter-link leads surfer to “main-page” that
contains links to gallies with adult materials.
Purveyors of porn scramble to keep up with Internet
By Jon Swartz, USA TODAY
SAN FRANCISCO — Major players in the adult-entertainment industry, long in the
vanguard of technology use, now ﬁnd themselves playing catch-up.
Overall sales and rentals of X-rated DVDs have plunged 15% in the last year and up to
30% over the past two years because video and photos on the Internet — much of it
created by amateurs — are available at a fraction of the cost or for free. PornoTube.com
and YouPorn.com are piping user-generated naughty content straight to the PCs,
cellphones and Internet-connected TVs of consumers. Internet-based porn sales, by
contrast, grew 14%, to $2.8 billion, last year.
The exodus to porn viewing online has been accelerated by more broadband users
shunning DVDs and pay-per-view TV in favor of PC screens, says Dennis McAlpine,
managing director of media researcher McAlpine Associates. Changes in viewing habits
have forced industry heavyweights to dramatically alter how they deliver content, he
Vivid Entertainment Group, Hustler and Extreme Associates are rushing to offer movies
on the Internet before they are available on DVD. Vivid is set to release its ﬁrst video-
only movie in July. And retailers in the shrinking $3.6 billion DVD market, such as
HotMovies.com, are beginning to sell video downloads.
Hustler runs 15 websites, many recently redesigned, and plans to add more sites with
exclusive video and photos, says Michael Klein, president of its Broadcasting, Internet
and Video Group.
Steven Hirsch, co-chairman of Vivid, one of the world’s top adult ﬁlm producers,
predicts DVD sales will largely be replaced by content sold on the Internet. Three years
ago, 80% of its revenue came from DVD sales. Now, it’s 40%, he says.
“DVDs are dead,” says Extreme CEO Rob Black. “The Web is where things are
happening.” The company is selling video clips on its website before they go to DVD.
New tech unhinges industry
For a $13 billion industry that has been at the cutting edge of tech use, the situation is
ironic, says Frederick Lane, a longtime industry observer and author of Obscene Proﬁts:
The Entrepreneurs of Pornography in the Cyber Age.
“Even the adult-entertainment industry can be caught by surprise by how fast
technology moves,” Lane says. “The small- to medium-size companies are getting
Pornographers have been among the ﬁrst to exploit new technology for more than a
decade — from video-streaming and fee-based subscriptions to pop-up ads and
electronic billing. Their bold experimentation helped make porn one of the most
proﬁtable online industries, and their ideas — especially in video-streaming and online
subscriptions — have become staples at Fortune 500 companies.
Yet the acceptance of broadband use caught many porn purveyors ﬂat-footed,
McApline and others say. Some 62% of adults with Internet access at home had
broadband in December vs. 50% in mid-2005, says the Pew Internet & American Life
The market dynamics have hurt several DVD-dependent companies, just as VHS
companies went under when DVDs got hot, Lane says.
“Consumers don’t have to leave their homes anymore (to get DVDs),” says Bo Kenney,
CEO of Sex-Z Pictures, which has 10 retail stores in Virginia. “They can watch whatever
they want, whenever, from their PC or TV.”
Sex-Z has started producing DVDs, in addition to distributing them, to offset a steep
drop in sales. It sold 800,000 DVDs last year, compared with 1.2 million in 2003.
Sales for a hit DVD were 35,000 to 50,000 two years ago. Now, they are about 20,000,
A market opportunity
A spike in Internet-based porn sales the past few years underscores a thirst for adult
content on the Internet that has yet to be fulﬁlled by large adult enterprises, say Lane
Most of the popular mainstream video sites (YouTube, in particular) censor explicit
What’s more, mainstream companies such as Playboy, Penthouse and Vivid provide a
smidgen of free content before “they try to rope you into a subscription,” says Eric
Wold, managing director of equity research at Merriman Curhan Ford.
Michael Herman, director of business development at Adult Entertainment Broadcast
Network — owner of PornoTube.com, a YouTube-like site with user-generated content
— says exposure on the Internet is ideal for a company’s branding.
PornoTube, started nearly a year ago, generates 10 million to 15 million hits a day —
making it one of the 200 most-popular sites on the Web, according to Alexa, which
tracks Internet trafﬁc.
Most of PornoTube’s user-generated videos are free, but clips are limited to a few
minutes. Consumers who want more must pay. PornoTube partners with others to sell
subscriptions to paid websites, dating services and video-on-demand.
“It’s become an invaluable tool for us to promote business partnerships” with adult
studios, Herman says.
And it’s a valuable outlet for adult performers. “I can do short clips just for the
Internet,” says Sunny Lane, an actress in Southern California who owns
Sunnylanelive.com. “It’s a way to make more money and gain more exposure.”
Descriptions from Real Rape Fantasy Sites
Please, note: This page is about rape fantasies and forced sex role play, not the real rape.
Not only men but also many women dream about some violence in their sex acts. The
play may be very enjoyable for both sides. On the opposite, the real rape heavily
damages the life of women mentally and physically. Every real rape is crime, rapists are
usually brutally punished in prisons by other criminals. If you feel you want to rape, try
to ﬁnd the woman who will agree to play role plays with you - they exist. When do not
succeed, rather masturbate with my page. The hell in prison and the feeling you ruined
the life of innocent victim would avoid the peace of your soul forever. All pictures on
my page are coming from role plays and all actress agreed with all scenes. It was
directed professionally to give you sufﬁcient pleasure. I tried to select only pictures with
highest quality. You must understand to this and agree you will never think about real
Some say that our site should be banned because its content is too cruel. Fuck them!
These humble bastards are just too afraid to admit that real animal cruelty is a thousand
times more seductive than usual snotty softcore action.
ForcedFuckers.com - for the ones who are strong enough to take the power and urge to
force fuck and dominate. For the ones who don’t mind making others suffer to feel the
pleasures that can’t be compared to anything else in the world. For you!
We do not condone non-consentual sex.
This site is about ROLE PLAYING FANTASY only and all content is performed by
professional actors and models.
You must be over 21 years old to view this site, if your age is less than 21 years, please
leave immediately. This web site contains ADULT ONLY information, pictures and
links. All content of this web site is a fantasy and role playing of rough sex. Rape
fantasy, forced sex fantasy, extreme sex fantasy, rape, forced sex, rough sex, date rape,
rape stories, gay rape, lesbian rape, teen rape, gang rape, hentai rape, anal rape, rape
porn, rape, rape videos, rape sex, anime rape, rape porn, rape pictures, fantasy forced
sex. Bondage and BDSM. Everything on this web site is performed by professional
actors and models acting on thier own free will! It is fully compliant with all applicable
laws and regulations. This web site does not in any way promote, does not in any way
encourage or contain materials of actual cruelty, brutality, pain inﬂ icting or non-
consensual sex towards women or men. If this content is considered forbidden, illegal
and/or obscene in your community or residence, please leave now.
Welcome to the world of LibbyMac. I just added the picture you see to give you a better
understanding what I am about. I absolutely HATE those so-called rape pics that show
a woman in high heels and loving every minute of her rape. I saw this picture and it
turned me on... so there you have it.
I am having a blast writing for you all... and your feedback means a lot. I haven’t
responded to everyone because I am busy with my “normal” life. But keep writing.
AND PLEASE sign the guest book!
This will be adult in nature, meaning sex. Not just sex, but rape. So consider this your
I seriously mean this. If you have a problem with this, but NOT the ﬁrst amendment, I
suggest you just apply some of that freedom and leave. If you feel an obligation of
report me, you are merely saying that what you have to say is much more important
than what I have to say. This qualiﬁes you as a snob and intolerant. You can write all the
hate mail to me you want, but please remember that there are always going to be things
like this in the world. You might as well get used to it.
Crissy Moran blogs:
My #1 interest right now is building my relationship with God and leaving my old life
behind! God loves all of us no matter what we have done. I have worked in the adult
industry for 6 years and he still has been calling out to me to
bring me back home. Some of the greatest people in the bible
have done things we cannot even imagine and God has used
them in very powerful ways. Just know that it’s not too late for
any of us!
I could always sense men lusting after me even at a young
age. I felt many of his friends looked at me with lust even
though I was a little girl. When I would be alone with his
friends they would make weird remarks about how pretty I
was and it gave me the creeps. My dads buddies son was the
4th person to molest me. This is something I just dealt with
because I saw the way the little boys father beat him and I was
scared he would kill him. He always had bruises and was way knowlegable about sex
and I could tell by the things he would do to me. I would ﬁght him kicking and
screaming and my little brother would always try to jump him when he could. I would
feel so dirty but a couple of people had already molested me in my life. I was afraid also
because my dad always said he would kill anyone who would touch me. Eventually
they moved out. My dad had become an alcoholic. My mom still took us to church and
we just began being with her more and my dad was left out of the equation. His
thinking became irrational. My mom was fearful of him and so were my brother and I.
He would go out to bars and come home with gun shots, broken knuckles, and with
bruises and blood on him. He would say he was preaching the word and someone
didn’t like it. He started being very mean to my mom. One time he ﬂipped over our
dinner table because she cooked something in the microwave and he expected
everything to be fresh and homemade. He started using his ﬁsts to break car
windshields, our french doors, and anything else that was around when he would
become enraged. He started giving us spankings more often but a lot of times my mom
would intervene and say she would do it because she feared he was too angry and
would hurt us. He still preached the word all the while.
One day close to Christmas my mom and dad had went to his work Christmas party.
We stayed home alone and when they got home they were ﬁghting. My brother and I
were in our bedroom crying as we heard my parents arguing. My dad ripped my moms
beautiful red satin dress off of her and I heard things being thrown in the other room.
My dad was calling my mom a whore and telling her as she ran out the front door if she
took us away from him he would kill her. Often when they would ﬁght she would take
me and my brother with her over to my grandmas house. She left us there this time. We
were scared wondering what would happen next. My dad gave us both a trash bag and
told us to pack up some of our things and throw the bags into the back of the truck. He
then drove away with us to another city close to Orlando. We weren’t allowed to call
our mom for a few days. When we ﬁnally could we weren’t allowed to tell her where
Crissy Moran blogs Oct. 6:
I have been feeling very sad for girls who are in porn who are strung out on drugs, their
souls are lost, and they are doing unimaginable things with whoever and waking up
one day and wondering where their lives went or even worse ending up dead. I have
been reading gossip forums for a couple of years and I also know some of these girls
that porn is destroying.
I have been in porn for 6 years and I have witnessed ﬁrst hand a gorgeous womans
looks fade along with her soul. It really breaks my heart. A lot of you don’t know what
goes on behind the scenes. You guys know I didn’t do a lot of what I am speaking of
because I stuck to the softer side of porn (seems weird to say that).
The thing is even girls who do the softer side of porn sometimes lose themselves. Some
become strippers and a lot of girls who do the softer stuff escort. Many of the girls have
been victims of abuse sometime in their lifetime and are just looking for love and
acceptance (like me).
My eyes were recently opened to the total destruction porn does. Not only does it hurt
the girls in the business but it hurts you the consumer. Porn does not discriminate.
Sex/porn addiction is preventing many people from ﬁnding true happiness in their
lives. I know because I have spoken to so many of you through the years by email and
message `exchanges. Many of you spoke to me about your wives, your lonlieness, your
dreams, and many of you looked to me for all the answers. I always tried to be careful
when answering because I always realized that you are a person just like me who wants
love and acceptance. I have gone through times
when the guilt was so bad I just didn’t answer at
all hence my many hiatuses. This will be the last
time I leave all of you hanging.
Many of you know that my boyfriend and I broke
up a couple of months ago but don’t know why. I
will explain some of that at a later time. Let’s just
say the effects of the adult business took a hit on
my personal life. I have decided that I want to be
free from all of the guilt now. I am making great
money doing what I do but the money is not
making me happy. I have moved into my own place now for the ﬁrst time all alone and
have decided I want out of the business. I have so much more to offer to the world than
my looks and body. These things will fade. I want to experience true real life happiness.
I know a lot of you will think I have lost my mind but I think that will only be the ones
of you who never really knew me. I have decided to go back to my one true love who is
Jesus. You may or may not believe in him and well I am not here to judge you. I am just
here to share with you my story if you are willing to listen. My website is still up for
now and I have yet to discuss these things with my webmasters. I am not sure what will
happen in that respect. I am looking for legal counseling and any help I can get. It will
be gone soon enough though. I will be posting here on my myspace page everything
going on in my life until then. I ask you to forgive me for entering into your lives and
stripping you from the more important things in life like ﬁnding true love, happiness,
and your families.
She writes on MySpace:
I left porn on October 6, 2006. I did not receive another dime from my website. I had a
contract with a company to run my website and they refused to take it down. They have
exploited the fact that I am now a Christian. I have seen website afﬁliates mock me and
my change. I even saw a nude picture of myself with photoshopped pictures of Jesus’
face covering my breasts. The old website continues to run because I cannot afford a
lawyer. I get so upset every time I get an email from another Christian accusing me of
proﬁting. I also worked for many companies who own the rights to my photos. You see
in the porn business they make sure you sign a model release that says that once they
pay you your modeling fee they own the photos. It’s all a way to protect themselves in
case the girls change their minds or in my case give their lives over to Christ.
I struggle daily with my past mistakes not because I feel condemned because I know
there is no condemnation in Christ, but because I worry that my past will lead others
down the wrong path. It causes me so much grief to think that other young women
might see my past and be persuaded to get involved in porn or to think that my old
images are fuel to someone addicted to porn.
Two months after leaving porn I went completely broke and lost my vehicle. I still had
to pay rent and bills and God provided for me in this time. I took out my hair
extensions and lost the fake nails. No more spa, no more gym membership, no more
restaurants. It was hard to leave all the luxuries behind but I still continued in my
pursuit of God. I began to attend church regularly twice a week, went on a retreat with
my church, met with my pastor and my mentor. I went through much anxiety about not
having any money. I broke out in hives over and over, got very little sleep, and gained a
little weight. A spiritual war began as I suffered nightmares almost every night and had
to learn to take control of it. Greater is the one who is within me than the one who is of
this world! God used that time of anxiety to strengthen my dependence on him. Slowly
my anxiety diminished more and more. I still deal with some but not nearly how I did
January 2, 2007, I began working in a law ofﬁce as a receptionist and making just
enough money to pay my bills. At the same time I was dealing with a lot of my issues
from my past - past abortions, abuse, anger, and depression (which is why I haven’t
blogged much since then.) It has been quite the rollercoaster...
Sky Lopez Interviewed
the adult industry is no longer her life; it leads to
nowhere but self-destruction, she claims
--indie street latino
Sky Lopez is interviewed by the site
Lopez, at the time of the interview, was on the east
coast recording a hip-hop album. She chose the name
Sky to signify the fact that for her the sky’s the limit
and it matches her attitude and lifestyle. Her
nationality is Dutch-Indonesian and Paciﬁc Islander.
She’s currently single but is dating someone from the
recording industry but wouldn’t offer any more
“I am no longer in the Adult Industry and have not
been for about three years,” states Lopex. “I had a
change of life style when I got “Saved” in my dreams
one night. And was shown in my dreams what it is that I am suppose to do, or who I
am suppose to be. From that point on I quit the Adult Industry, moved into a Ministry
Home for six months, studied Bible theology and did some soul searching.”
“I worked on my relationship with God and Myself,” she continues. “Getting back to
who I really was, a Break-dancing Hip-Hop Artist Raised in Oakland CA and been
rapping since the age twelve. I just got back to what I fell in love with ﬁrst!” Lopez is
also in the middle of shooting a mainstream movie and three music videos. Lopez also
has a T.V. show coming out, according to her.
“That information will be announced on my web-site www.SkysVibe.com,” she says.
For recreation she enjoys dirt bike riding, camping and hiking. But her time is occupied
with the re-launch of her site.
“My site has always been controlled by other people and companies,” she explains.
“But for the very ﬁrst time I will be taking over my site and hands on be active daily in
it. So that I may have direct contact with my fans and therefore we can make a lot of
Lopez says she’s inﬂuenced by some of the older hip-hop artists like 2-short but feels
that no female has stepped up and claimed the spot as the world famous Female
Eminem “But I will!” she predicted. “That’s my Spot!”
Asked if she’s still recognized on the streets as an Adult Film Actress, Lopez says it goes
“It use to just happen here and there and I use to be like, “oh that’s funny” she says.
“Now it’s everywhere I go All day Long. So now I’m like “Hey, What’s Going on?
Mighty Spring break to you! I do not mind that people know me from the adult
industry, I know that it is there from where I am known from. And no it does not bug
me. BUT- more importantly it is for people to know that that is no longer the life I live. I
live for something greater and the Lord has given me a bigger job..........to be a living
testimony. I hope to help others who have gone down the same path or prevent them
from having to.”
Lopez will be touring throughout the US and Europe this summer, hosting parties,
performing Hip-Hop Shows, signing at conventions and doing radio and television
appearances as well.
Asked if she had any advice to lend up and coming female
performers in the adult industry, Lopez calls it a “long,
exhausting, emotional winding road that leads to nowhere but
self destruction and a bunch of mess’s that will take too long
to clean up”.
“Remember you’re not only hurting yourself but everybody
else in your family,” she goes on to say. “And even in your
future family that you still haven’t met yet, because it will
always effect you. It might sound like fun or look glamorous,
but it is such a very ugly world. Not one I would recommend
US church helps ex-porn star come back to Christ
Posted: Thursday, March 20, 2008, 12:44 (GMT)
A former porn star has left the sex industry to start a new life as a college student and
church secretary, a group ministering to sex workers announced Tuesday.
Sophia Lynn, 24, is now an ofﬁce staff at Celebrate Community Church in Sioux Falls,
South Dakota in the US, where she will work while attending college. The South Dakota
church offered Lynn a place to live, a college scholarship, and a job at the church ofﬁce
when they heard she wanted to leave the sex business.
“This is like a dream,” Lynn reﬂected from her new home in South Dakota nearly a
week after her move. “I hope I don’t have to wake up from this. I feel like my life has
Lynn came from a self-described devout
Christian family and entered the porn
industry only to make money to support
herself and her young child after a
“When you have bill collectors calling
you every ﬁve minutes, you start to feel
hopeless,” she said to ABC News last
She began with modelling but then was
encouraged to try the porn business at
the age of 18.
“I kept thinking, ‘Why am I doing this?’ But then I reminded [myself that] my car
payment was due.”
Lynn was re-introduced to Jesus Christ and eventually delivered from the sex industry
with the help of Heather Veitch, an ex-stripper turned Christian evangelist. Veitch, who
founded the ministry JC (Jesus Christ)’s Girls, and has been counselling Lynn for more
than a year.
Veitch said many girls want to leave the business, but ﬁnd it difﬁcult to start a new life.
“It takes the kind of commitment we’re seeing from Celebrate Community Church,” the
ex-stripper explained. “This is the story of the little church that could.”
Celebrate Community Church claims to have 550 members and about 2,200 attendees
on the weekends.
The South Dakota church ﬁrst heard about Lynn when she appeared on an ABC news
report last March and expressed her intention to leave the industry. The church reached
out and invited Lynn to visit, but without success.
Instead, Veitch ﬂew to South Dakota and spent a weekend educating the church on the
size and extensiveness of America’s sex industry. The former stripper told the
congregation that the ﬁrst step towards helping girls like Sophia Lynn is to pray for
them, which the church did, according to a report by the ministry.
“Three weeks later, my phone rang and it was Sophia,” Veitch recalled. “She told me
she was ready to make a real life change and wanted some real help. I called Pastor Loy
[of Celebrate Community Church] and told him God held up his end, so now what are
we going to do?”
The following morning at 6 am Pastor Keith Loy called Veitch and said, “We’re ready to
take this on.”
Sophia Lynn, who was living in New Jersey at the time, was on a plane to a new life in
South Dakota six hours later.
“We’re not going to play church anymore,” Loy said. “We’re going to be a church.”
The JC’s Girls founder urges churches to follow Celebrate Community Church and help
a sex worker leave the industry and start a new life.
“I’m calling it ‘One Church For One Girl Program’,” said Veitch.
Last month, a new documentary – “The PussyCat Preacher” – was released chronicling
Veitch’s journey as she formed the ministry JC’s Girls. The ﬁlm records her initial
struggle with gaining acceptance from women at her former church in California to
winning them over and actually bringing them to strip clubs to minister to dancers.
Veitch now resides in Las Vegas where her ministry is supported by Central Christian
Sex and salvation
Former porn star Shelley Lubben shares her story with members of Valley Bible
BY MATT O’BRIEN
This is just another story about a teenager who didn’t get along with her parents, left
home and was lured into prostitution. Just another story about a street prostitute who
became an escort, a stripper and a porn star. Another story about a porn star who
caught an incurable STD, tried to commit suicide, then found God. A story about sex
On Oct. 30, Shelley Lubben shared her story with
about 100 female members of Valley Bible
Fellowship. If she left any details out, we don’t
want to hear them. The tale was tragic -- and
heroic -- enough.
“It takes a lot of courage for someone to come out
and expose so much of their past and to be that
vulnerable and that transparent,” said church
member Lisa King. “It helped me understand, on a different level, what’s going on in
Las Vegas. I have a whole different understanding about what those girls -- whether
strippers or prostitutes -- go through, why they do it, and how their backgrounds
inﬂuenced them. It opened my eyes big time.”
With the Strip shimmering behind her, through the front windows of the
nondenominational church on South Durango Drive, Lubben said she grew up in a
religious family. Rebellious, she was kicked out of the house after graduating from high
school. A pimp befriended her, negotiating her ﬁrst of many tricks.
Lubben later met a madam, who introduced her to the escort business. For eight years,
she worked as an escort and exotic dancer in the Los Angeles area. A “john” got her
pregnant. Against abortion, she had the baby.
Life as a single mother, explained Lubben, was overwhelming. She experimented with
drugs and eventually became addicted to alcohol. She hid her daughter in her bedroom,
while she entertained “clients.”
In 1993, Lubben began acting in adult ﬁlms under the name “Roxy.” However, after
about 20 ﬁlms (including Roxy: A Gangbang Fantasy and Used and Abused II), she caught
“I praise God for that,” said Lubben, during her hour-long talk. “I really do. I was
devastated at the time, but it saved my life.”
Her porn career over, Lubben said she tried to commit suicide. She swallowed pills. She
slit her wrists. But she always survived. Finally, after a serious car accident in which she
didn’t receive a scratch, she convinced herself that someone was looking out for her. “I
knew that God was saving my ...” she doesn’t say it, slapping her backside instead.
Gradually, with the help of her husband and the Champions Centre church in Tacoma,
Wash., Lubben began to normalize her life. She said she has been sober since 2000. She
enrolled in college. And she maintains a website
(www.shelleylubben.com) and ministers to prostitutes online.
“I hope I gave every single person in here hope to hold on,” said Lubben, after the talk.
“Even if they’re not in the porn industry, some of them said they’ve been involved in
prostitution or exotic dancing. I mean, this is Las Vegas. A lot of people have done those
kind of things, then come to this church looking for guidance. I want to let them know
to hold on and that there is hope.”
Club Erica Campbell
I love you guys!
The Only Way Out
This message is to ALL of my friends and fans. I wasn’t sure
how exactly to start this...but I trusted that God would help me
write this and maybe through me I could speak His word and
make His will be done.....
For a long time I have been very lost. So lost in myself and in
the world that I didn’t even REALIZE that I was lost. I have
always thought of myself as a pretty good person. I love helping
people, I love befriending people, I love animal rescue and
rehab. I care a GREAT deal for my friends and family and
ALWAYS do whatever I can to care for them and make sure that
they are ok. For a long time I THOUGHT that I was doing the right thing.....and doing
my personal best......well...I was wrong...dead wrong.
Being in the world of adult modeling I see A LOT of pain....A LOT of heart break. SO
many lost girls get into this business just for some extra money....to help pay for
school....to help support themselves or even their children as single moms. “It’s just
temporary”. They are only going to do this for a while...just a few shoots.
I too started out to make some extra money to help me ﬁnish school. Almost ALL of the
time It doesn’t end where you think it will.....the path goes on......the hole gets
deeper....and the road gets darker. MOST of the time the girls don’t even realize it. One
day you see this bright beautiful girl shooting tame nudes...the next they are signing on
the dotted line of a hard-core porn company. Lost. Broken. Alone.
I being on the other side of these pictures you don’t see the pain these girls are in. The
struggle....the drugs that they take so they can get themselves through these sets.
Sometimes it’s just a show....you pretend to be someone else..become someone you
never thought you could be...and the hole gets deeper.
I never thought of myself as one of these girls. What I have been doing “wasn’t porn”. I
connect to well and so close with so many of my fans. I didn’t realize what I was doing
The past few years have been very difﬁcult for me. That is no secret to anyone that
knows anything about me. I have been working my tail off to support myself, my farm,
my rescues, my family, and the list goes on. No matter how hard I worked.....no matter
how many people or creatures I helped I STILL had that void inside of my heart and my
soul. Connecting with person after person through my site as REAL FRIENDS. I
understood the loneliness of the people that I would talk to...because I myself was so
lonely. The more I shot...the deeper my darkness got.....the more I understood the pain
of others. My friends and my fan. There is ONE common thread to so many of us online
here.....the need to be loved, accepted, cared for, the need to have SOMEONE
understand you and connect with you. At the end of so many of these emails was that
loneliness. SO many men have asked me what they were doing wrong, how to ﬁnd a
special girl like me for THEM. How to ﬁll that “void” in their hearts...in their souls. For
a long time I thought I was helping to ﬁll that void in the lives of so many, and in a way
I was. But it was all a lie. I could never ﬁll that void for anyone...only be a sinful band
aid for it. Only cause the loneliness to deepen....only cause my own soul to ache more.
I have been looking so long and so hard for someone to love me. Love ME for ME. Fill
that hole in my soul. Complete me. All this time the only thing standing in my way was
me. I have been blind and wrong. On so many levels for so long.
I have decided to leave the world of adult and porn behind me....and follow the lord. I
have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and am devoting my life to HIS
WILL. I have found the one thing that can, will and DOES ﬁll that void...and that’s
I have been trapped in sin and destruction for so long. Disappointment after
disappointment......painful venture after painful venture. I have been my own worst
enemy. Holding the key all along that could set me free from the darkness that had
slowly enveloped me....that was eating away piece by piece my soul. Burning the light
out of my eyes so slowly that I didn’t even see it....didn’t know it.....
It is will a new clarity and a new purpose that I will continue my life. I WANT TO HELP
THESE GIRLS! These lost souls.....these girls that are ABUSING THEMSELVES. Selling
themselves for NOTHING. I want to help them STOP THIS PAIN. I want to show them
the light.....and the love of Jesus. ONLY HE CAN FILL THIS VOID IN THEIR LIFE! HE
IS THE WAY....THE ONLY WAY.
I also want to help my fans...my friends......This void in your life and heart. You seek
pornography to ﬁll it....it’s only a bandage. Sin isn’t ugly....it’s beautiful. It can’t ﬁll the
voids in your life. ONLY GOD CAN FILL THEM!
I love my fans, and I love YOU. I want YOU to feel this peace. I want YOU to get out of
the darkness that is all around you. You can not live with one foot in Christ and one in
the world. Our time here is so short....today could be your last day here. And what will
you have lived for? Died for? There is only one way to heaven and eternal life....and
that is through Jesus.
I will not and can not desert my friends and fans. The models.....the world. I can’t and I
won’t. I am hoping that the Lord will work through me and guide me to do HIS will
and help those that I can. Those that will stop and listen....those that will allow the Holy
Spirit to ﬁll them and speak to them as it has me.
I know that there are going to be a lot of people that will think this is a big
joke....laugh.....wonder if I have lost my mind....well....I have news for you.... FOOLS
MOCK THE TRUTH. There is ONE WAY. And only one way. I have found that way. I
have FILLED THE HOLE IN MY SOUL! Filled that void that I couldn’t ﬁll with
anything else. My life isn’t about ME anymore.....My life is about God and HIS will. I
want to spread HIS love. Tell people about Him......lead people home to Him. I don’t
care what you have done.....how lost you think you are....how hopeless you think things
are......I HAVE GREAT NEWS FOR YOU! It’s NOT TOO LATE. God LOVES YOU! He
wants YOU. All you have to do is accept His gift. IT’S RIGHT THERE FOR YOU! Jesus
died on the cross for OUR SINS. The price for us has already been PAID IN FULL.
I will not be attending glamourcon or shooting anything else. The next and last person
that will see and enjoy my body will be a husband AS GOD INTENDED! I have asked
for forgiveness for what I have done AND HAVE
BEEN FORGIVEN! I will spend the rest of my
life doing the Lords will and the Lords work. I
I want you ALL to know that I love you very
much.....you ARE MY FRIENDS! I want you to
know God.....I want you to get out of this
darkness...this saddness and follow the word of
God. There is ONLY ONE WAY OUT!
I will not abandon you......
As always my email address to ALL of my
friends and fans is: email@example.com. I
understand that this is coming as a complete
surprise to my loyal members who have joined
my new site to support me and my new venture.
I totally understand if you would like a refund
for your membership. Please email me at:
firstname.lastname@example.org for a complete refund.
My life is beginning NOW. From this day on I will live HIS will and HIS way. My heart
Bible verses (King James version)
9That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine
heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is
made unto salvation.
For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are
the way of life:
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye
shall ﬁnd rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever
believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world
through him might be saved.
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword,
piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow,
and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked
and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.
105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
27 The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts of the belly.
6For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some
would even dare to die.
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ
died for us.
Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I
will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
1 Corinthians 6:9-13
9Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not
deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers
of themselves with mankind,
Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit
the kingdom of God.
11And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctiﬁed, but ye are
justiﬁed in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for
me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them.
Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.
The Story of Phinehas
And Israel abode in Shittim, and the people began to commit whoredom with the
daughters of Moab.
2And they called the people unto the sacriﬁces of their gods: and the people did eat, and
bowed down to their gods.
3And Israel joined himself unto Baalpeor: and the anger of the LORD was kindled
4And the LORD said unto Moses, Take all the heads of the people, and hang them up
before the LORD against the sun, that the ﬁerce anger of the LORD may be turned away
And Moses said unto the judges of Israel, Slay ye every one his men that were joined
6And, behold, one of the children of Israel came and brought unto his brethren a
Midianitish woman in the sight of Moses, and in the sight of all the congregation of the
children of Israel, who were weeping before the door of the tabernacle of the
7And when Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, saw it, he rose up
from among the congregation, and took a javelin in his hand;
8And he went after the man of Israel into the tent, and thrust both of them through, the
man of Israel, and the woman through her belly. So the plague was stayed from the
children of Israel.
9And those that died in the plague were twenty and four thousand.
10 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
11Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, hath turned my wrath away
from the children of Israel, while he was zealous for my sake among them, that I
consumed not the children of Israel in my jealousy.
12 Wherefore say, Behold, I give unto him my covenant of peace:
And he shall have it, and his seed after him, even the covenant of an everlasting
priesthood; because he was zealous for his God, and made an atonement for the
children of Israel.
Now the name of the Israelite that was slain, even that was slain with the Midianitish
woman, was Zimri, the son of Salu, a prince of a chief house among the Simeonites.
And the name of the Midianitish woman that was slain was Cozbi, the daughter of
Zur; he was head over a people, and of a chief house in Midian.
16And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
17Vex the Midianites, and smite them:
For they vex you with their wiles, wherewith they have beguiled you in the matter of
Peor, and in the matter of Cozbi, the daughter of a prince of Midian, their sister, which
was slain in the day of the plague for Peor’s sake.
Dionysius Hierarchy of Angels
Nine Celestial Orders of Angels
First order: Closest in order to God
Seraphims The guardians before God’s throne, referred to as “the ﬁery spirits”, they
are usually pictured with six wings and ﬂames. They constantly sing
God’s praise and regulate heaven. They are colored a ﬂaming red and
gold to symbolize ﬁre. God’s grace ﬂows through the seraphim to the
Angels below, dispelling darkness and purifying the universe. It was from
this order that Satan emerged. Before his fall from Grace, he was
considered the Angel who outshone all others. Seraphims are the highest
order of Angels.
Cherubims Gods record keepers and guardians of
God’s glory. Over the years Cherubims
have undergone radical transformations
from the Assyrian leonine-monster
guardian to the winged creature of the
Old Testament to a chubby baby with
blue wings which appeared in the 1600s.
Originally, Cherubims were depicted
with multi-eyed peacock’s feathers to
symbolize their all-knowing character.
The ﬁrst Angels mentioned in the bible,
God placed the Cherubim at the east of
the Garden of Eden to guard the way to
the Tree of Life. They are the charioteers
of God and bearers of his throne.
Thrones Referred to as “the many eyed ones”, portrayed as winged wheels within
wheels, whose rims were covered in eyes. They support the Throne of
God and consider how God’s decisions should be manifested. Their
mission is to bring judgment for individual karma and society as a whole.
Second order: Priest-Princes of the court of heaven
Dominions These are the Angels who bring you the teachings of intuition. Through
them the majesty of God is manifested. They carry scepter and sword to
symbolize the given power over all creation and decide what needs to be
done to accomplish God’s needs and regulate the duties of Angels to
ensure the universe keeps working as it should. They appear in human
shape, wearing a triple crown to signify their position over the physical
form. They can be seen carrying a scepter, holding a cross and/or a sword
to symbolize the balance between the active and passive forces.
Virtues Drawing on God’s force to work miracles on earth, the “brilliant” or
“shining ones” are the Angels of miracles, encouragement and blessings.
Virtues are the ones who become involved whenever people are
struggling with their faith. They have four blue feathered wings and war
sparkling armor. They can often be seen with a scepter, axe spear, sword
and/or a shield for protection. But each of these “tools” are decorated
with instruments of passion. They work hand-in-hand with the Thrones to
bestow grace and rewards on those who have overcome deeds in their
Powers First order of Angels created by God, it is the job of the Powers to prevent
the fallen Angels from taking over the world and keep the universe in
balance. They also bring the power of intellect in such matters as math,
geometry, astronomy and so on, making them the professors and
Third order: The Ministering Angels
Principalities The protectors of religions, guardian Angels of cities, nations, rulers. They
keep watch over nations and attempt to inspire their leaders to make wise
decisions. Often depicted wearing soldier’s garb and sandals, they are
seen in human form. They provide strength to the tribes of Earth to
pursue and endure their faith.
Archangels The “chief-Angels”, they carry God’s messages to humans and command
God’s armies of Angels in constant battle with the “Sons of Darkness”.
They look after the affairs of humankind and act as guardian Angels to
leaders of world movements. These are the Angels who stand around
God’s throne, ready to carry out the divine and most important decrees to
humans. According to the book of Revelation, there are seven Archangels
who stand in the presence of God, but only four are mentioned in the Old
Testament, Michael, Gabriel, Raphael and Uriel. The identity of the other
three is subject to debate. The three recognized in the Judeo-Christian
belief are Raguel, Jophiel and Chamuel. Other possible candidates are
Ariel, Azrael, Camael, Haniel, Jeremiel, Metetron, Raziel, Sandalphon and
Angels Celestial beings closest to humans, Angels are the intermediaries between
God and mortals. Assigned by God to every human being at the time of
his or her birth, they assist every aspect of life in the universe. They deal
with the aspects of everyday life and act as the direct gateway for
information, knowledge and communications between human kind and
the God force. These Angels are seen with human bodies, wings and
clothed in various garments depending on the traditions and visual
acceptance of the human they have “been assigned to”. In reality, Angels
do not have human bodies, wings or clothing, they are made up of energy
and love. The only thing Angels do not help humans do is destroy
themselves, the planet and other human beings, they are always a force
for all that is positive, good and true.
The City of Hesperia is part of San Bernardino County, California located in the Mojave Desert
75 miles (121 km) northeast of Los Angeles. The locals refer to the surrounding area as the High
Desert. As of the 2000 census, the city had a total population of 62,582. In 2006, the Hesperia
municipal government estimated the population at 80,000.
Geography and environment
Hesperia is situated within the Mojave
Desert Geomorphic Province on
volcanic rock with upper soils
characterized by light to dark brown
silty sand.(Earth Metrics, 1989) The
California Aqueduct traverses through
the Hesperia area. Much of the native
flora of Hesperia is classified as
California desert vegetation,
dominated by junipers, joshua trees
and sagebrush. The elevation rises
from 3,200 in the north to about 4,000 feet above sea level to the south. The San Andreas Fault, a
major tectonic plate boundary of the Pacific and North American plates is a few miles south of
Hesperia in the Cajon Pass, has occasional seismic activity.
The Mojave River flows north through the east side of the city. The California Aqueduct splits
the city down the center from north to south where it then heads underground on its way to
According to the United States Census Bureau, the city has a total area of 174.6 km² (67.4 mi²).
174.4 km² (67.3 mi²) of it is land and 0.2 km² (0.1 mi²) of it (0.10%) is water.
Hesperia is the 4th largest city in the Palmdale Metropolitan Area.
Also, on the southern edge of Hesperia, where the city meets the desert, is a somewhat
pronounced mesa, which the locals refer to as simply "the mesa".
As of the census of 2000, there were 62,582 people, 19,966 households, and 15,773 families
residing in the city. The population density was 358.8/km² (929.3/mi²). There were 21,348
housing units at an average density of 122.4/km² (317.0/mi²). The racial makeup of the city was
74.28% White, 4.03% African American, 1.27% Native American, 1.07% Asian, 0.19% Pacific
Islander, 14.46% from other races, and 4.69% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any
race were 29.40% of the population.
There were 19,966 households out of which 42.6% had children under the age of 18 living with
them, 58.9% were married couples living together, 13.8% had a female householder with no
husband present, and 21.0% were non-families. 16.5% of all households were made up of
individuals and 7.6% had someone living alone who was 65 years of age or older. The average
household size was 3.12 and the average family size was 3.47.
In the city the population was spread out with 32.8% under the age of 18, 9.3% from 18 to 24,
27.4% from 25 to 44, 19.6% from 45 to 64, and 11.0% who were 65 years of age or older. The
median age was 32 years. For every 100 females there were 97.3 males. For every 100 females
age 18 and over, there were 94.1 males.
The median income for a household in the city was $40,201, and the median income for a family
was $43,004. Males had a median income of $39,776 versus $25,665 for females. The per capita
income for the city was $15,487. About 11.1% of families and 14.1% of the population were
below the poverty line, including 18.2% of those under age 18 and 6.4% of those age 65 or over.
Hesperia's origins began as a Spanish land grant: Rancho San Felipe, Las Flores y el Paso del
Cajon founded in 1781 and the first inhabitants are Serrano Indians whom lived in the normally
dormant Mojave River bed, but the land was sparsely inhabited desert during Spanish-Mexican
rule in the 19th century, but the U.S. annexed the region along with Southern California after the
Mexican-American war in 1848 and homesteaders, especially Mormons dispatched from the
Utah Territory in 1854 began to live there.
The town site was originally laid out in 1891 by railroad company land developers of the US &
Santa Fe Railroad completed that year. Hesperia was named for "Hesperus", the Greek god of the
west as the Greeks called west by the name. The railroad land developers published pamphlets
distributed across the country with boosterism of Hesperia, California is a potential metropolis:
to become "the Chicago of the West" or projections to have over 100,000 people by the year
1900, but only 1,000 moved in.
Hesperia grew relatively slow until the completion of U.S. Routes 66, 91 and 395 in the 1940s
followed by Interstate 15 in the late 1960s. A total of 30 square miles of land was laid out for
possible residential development: roads were set up, but hardly any houses build, until the wave
of newcomers arrived to Hesperia in the 1980s. Suburban growth transformed the small town of
5,000 people in 1970 to a moderate-sized community of over 50,000 in the year 2000.
Psychological Aspects of SM
March 25, 2007
I have always believed that a basic understanding of the psychological aspects of SM play is
important for a few basic reasons. First, SM is often play on a psychological level. Dominance
and submission are, by very definition, psychological in nature, as are many other aspects of SM
play from Humiliation, power exchanges, or the euphoric state we sometimes feel after an
intensely satisfying SM scene. Our fantasies may have psychological factors we’ve never
Second, SM hits many of us on a psychological level. SM has been known from time to time to
bring up psychological issues within our lives weather we realize it or not. If, for example, one
has psychological issues with authority figures, these issues may arise during SM play.
Recognizing this can help us sort out our troubles and enable us to get a better hand on them.
I have talked with many Masters and slaves over the years who have said something along the
lines of “my Master really doesn’t understand what it is like to be a slave. He is a wonderful
Master who knows what he is doing when we play, but the dynamics of the relationship are
foreign to him.” More times than not, I’ve seen these relationships fail.
Finally, because of the psychological nature of SM, in general, one should be aware of
psychological factors in case problems (or, potential problems) may develop. With a basic
understanding of the psychological aspects of SM many of these problems can be dealt with, or
even prevented before the issues become problematic. Some Leathermen have no understanding
of psychology. And for some of them this is not a bad thing. They do seem to have a basic
understanding of what feels good or bad, what’s acceptable and what isn’t, and hopefully also the
ability to read the body language of their play partner to determine if everyone’s having fun or
not. I don’t want this to sound like these people are any better or worse than any other - this
simple factor alone doesn’t determine anything.
Psychology of Domination
I am often asked by novice submissives what kind of pleasure I get as a Dominant partner. In
their view, all they see at first is that they are enacting one of their fantasies, that I am doing
things which I know will bring them a sense of pleasure, that they are the focus of my active
attention while I am only passively receiving their attention. Many feel this type of scene is one-
sided, resulting in feelings of guilt or embarrassment. Many people I have played with seem to
have a psychological need to “satisfy” their sexual partners, and when they cannot understand
how they are satisfying their partners, things begin to fall apart for them.
I usually try to explain to them that the type of pleasure I receive from them may be a different
form than the pleasure they get from me, but that it is no way unsatisfying for me. It goes
something like this…
Let’s say I have a boy in restraints and various leather gear, and we are in the middle of a scene.
Ok, we’re going to stop time here for a second and take a look at what’s happening for both
parties. My submissive partner is (well, hopefully) getting some pleasure from his restraints,
from the clamps I may have placed on his nipples, or the attention I am giving his cock and balls.
This is a very physical pleasure he is feeling.Looking at myself, I am also receiving a lot of
pleasure - or else I would not be doing this. I am probably getting an immediate sense of pleasure
because of a few factors. First, I really like seeing boys in Leather, Uniform, or Rubber (and
chances are, if I am playing with him, he’s gonna fall into one of these categories.) Secondly, I
am getting an extreme sense of happiness because I am causing a sense of pleasure in my partner.
Thirdly, I am experiencing happiness because I am expressing my own, personal form of
sexuality. (Yes, there are a few more, but that’s a good start.)Now, we’re going to hit the fast
forward button - but this time we’re going to stop it several hours after the scene has finished.
Hopefully my partner still has a sense of afterglow. He’s just been through an experience which
hopefully he’d found extremely satisfying. However, by now his sense of pleasure is starting to
fall after hitting his climax during the scene.But, my sense of pleasure is growing. I have just
done things to my partner which caused him to feel good. Maybe I was even able to help him
expand one of his limits, or introduced him to a new activity that he will enjoy for a long time to
come. I am sitting there feeling pleasurable because I know that I’ve done good. It’s an entirely
emotional high that will last me for a long time to come. The physical pleasure I caused in my
partner is different than the psychological or mental pleasure I receive. But that doesn’t make it
any more or less valid. There’s no comparing the two pleasures. But, on a side note, I am sure
there are people I remember playing with vividly in years gone past that I still have a sense of
pleasure about. Unfortunately, chances are some of them may not even remember who I am or
what I did with them, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. They may not be feeling any
pleasure still from what happened many years ago … but I am! The pleasure of Domination
often seems to be more mental or psychological than the pleasure of the submissive, which tends
to be more physical. (Not to say it doesn’t have its psychological aspects either, but I’ll get to
that in a little bit.) Another psychological factor with Domination is obviously found within
control. There is a certain sense of power that comes with control, and many Doms crave this
power, for any number of possible reasons. Rape, for example, is known to be an issue of power,
not sex. This is not to say that there isn’t a sexual element or factor to rape. When rapists are
seeking sexual contact, they will most often search for a willing partner, when it is a power
element they crave - they will seek out a victim. SM has nothing to do with nonconsensual rape,
however one into SM who craves this power may find a consensual”rape victim”. I know this
may sound funny, especially to rape victims. A consenting couple, however, may choose to enact
some form of rape fantasy in which the Dom tries to overcome a struggling submissive - to
varying degrees. I haven’t seen many people who get into this fantasy, but I have seen it in the
The Psychology of Submission
Sometimes I am convinced that there is no comparing the psychology of submission to the
psychology of domination. Quite often, they are so different that the similarities seem few and
It can be perfectly understood that a submissive partner, receiving the sexual attention of the
Dominant partner will find this to be extremely satisfying. This may help explain why it seems
that the number of bottoms extremely outweighs the number of tops. A good Dom will have the
happiness of his submissive partner somewhere in the front of his mind, directly or indirectly, as
happiness and pleasure seem to go hand in hand.Perhaps because of the (seemingly) vast number
of bottoms, it becomes clear that there are an unlimited psychological factors of submission. I
will not even try to touch them all here. Hopefully I can hit on some of the major ones.Perhaps
one of the most common psychological factors is that of control and power. Take for example
people with jobs or careers where they have to make decisions, often ones that effect other
people. Teachers, Doctors, Lawyers, CEOs, Restaurant Managers, etc. In the workplace, they
have a certain degree of power that mirrors Domination (if not fits the bill completely.) When the
workday is over, they may chose to slip into the more submissive roles of BDSM for this is like
therapy to them. I have heard many submissives say that playing sub counterbalances their
workplace role of domination.
Many submissives have a strong desire to serve. For them, submission may seem like second
nature, and they are often attracted to become slaves (but not always). Their own internal
happiness comes from the deeds they do for a Dominant partner. In my eyes, this is the same
principle I feel as a Dominant, as stated above - how a Top may receive pleasure because he is
doing something the submissive partner will find pleasurable.
Most people in relationships experience occasional disagreements with their partner, which is
normal. Disagreements can even be healthy for a relationship when they are resolved
constructively and peacefully in a reasonable period of time. Sometimes, however,
disagreements become abusive, which is unhealthy or even dangerous to the overall relationship
or an involved partner. Abuse in relationships can take the form of physical, emotional, verbal,
sexual, or economic abuse and typically includes threats, intimidation, intense criticism, forced
isolation, and/or physical violence. The overwhelming proportion of victims of relationship
violence are women, but violence has been known to be perpetrated against men as well.
Relationship abuse and violence occurs among all races, ages, classes, and religious groups. It is
a sadly frequent component in heterosexual, gay, and lesbian dating relationships. It damages and
destroys committed relationships such as marriage and long-term partnerships as well as the new
Important Facts About Relationship Violence:
It is now estimated that at least one out three high school and college-aged youth
experience abuse at some point in their relationships. It can range from a single episode
to chronic abuse.
Only 20% of violent crimes are perpetrated by strangers. Half are committed by the
Battering is the single major cause of injury to women …more than injuries caused by
muggings, rape, and car accidents combined. It is the second leading cause of death to
women age twenty to forty-five.
U.S. businesses are estimated to lose about $5 million each year due to abuse-related
An abusive incident rarely occurs only once, abuse usually increases in frequency and
severity over time.
Chronic abusers display a typical pattern following physical abuse episodes. They tend to
be apologetic, …on their best behavior, …promising that it will never happen again. This
is usually exactly the behavior the victim has hoped for and often causes her to decide to
remain in the relationship.
Repeated abusers almost never change their abusive responses spontaneously. It is not the
victim's job to change this aspect of his personality. He must seek professional assistance
if he is to change.
Victims of especially severe abuse often "identify with the abuser" in order to survive. This
means she will actually begin to agree with the criticisms and perspectives of the abuser while
her own personality, opinions, and views fade to the background. This is a serious set of
psychological events called the "Stockholm Syndrome."
Physical Abuse and Domestic Violence
Signs of Physical Abuse in Others
There an be more obvious signs of physical abuse, such as black eyes, or other bruises or broken
bones. But there are also other signs of physical abuse and these can include:
• Injuries that cannot be explained, or are explained unconvincingly
• Untreated or improperly treated injuries
• Injuries to parts of the body where accidental injuries are very unlikely, such as the back,
thighs and abdomen
• Bruising that appears to be in the form of a hand or finger marks
• Cigarette burns or human bites
• Scalds and burns
• Other signs of physical abuse can include changes in behaviour, especially in children.
These changes can include:
• Becoming sad, withdrawn or depressed
• Difficulties sleeping
• Behaving in an aggressive or disruptive manner
• Showing a fear for particular people
• Low confidence and low self esteem
• Using drugs or alcohol
What is Physical Abuse?
Physical abuse includes hitting, shaking, kicking, punching, scalding, suffocating and other ways
of inflicting pain or injury to another person. It can also include a parent who continually reports
made up illnesses or symptoms in their children.
Physical abuse is damaging and can have long lasting or even fatal affects.
Signs of Physical Abuse in your Relationship
• Your partner intimidates you by standing over you, blocking your way or making violent
• Your partner breaks furniture, punches holes in walls, or throws things around
• Your partner threatens to hurt you, or people that you love
• Your partner forces you to perform sexual acts or have sex against your wishes
• Your partner slaps, hits, punches, pushes, grabs, bites, chokes or kicks you.
• Your partner uses weapons or objects to indimidate and threaten you
"Domestic violence is physical, sexual, psychological or financial violence that takes place
within an intimate or family-type relationship and that forms a pattern of coercive and
Domestic violence can happen to anyone, gender, age, race, disability sexuality, social class or
The Cycle of Domestic Violence
There is usually a cycle of behaviour from the abuser and this is in three parts.
First - The abuser starts to become more tense and on edge. Family members will feel like they
must walk on egg shells to try and stop abusive behaviour.
Second - The abuser explodes for a minor reason.
Thirdly - The abuser appears to be calm, will blame his behaviour on anything or anyone but
themselves. They may say 'sorry it will never happen again' or 'you made me do it, you drove me
Most commonly though it does happen again and it isn't the victim's fault.
Domestic Violence does not have to be physical violence. Abusers can start a campaign of
emotional and mental abuse against a victim, leaving them powerless.
Why do People Stay?
There are many different reasons for staying with an abusive partner. The abuser may have
control over money, be emotionally blackmailing the victim into staying (threatening to commit
suicide is common), or making threats against the victim's life or the lives of their family.
Just like partners in a healthy relationship, abusive/abused partners still love each other. The
abuser though is more likely to love the power, intimidation and control over the house than their
Many stay for the sake of their children because the violent partner makes them believe they
can't cope on their own. Children though who are in a house where there is domestic violence are
being emotionally abused. It is not in the best interest of a child to have parents who are together
in a domestic violence situation.